"There's reports of a turf war on the verge of escalating between the vampire populations in Salem and Keizer. It may require intervention soon."
Kai took this in with a vaguely thoughtful expression and a hand on his jaw, nodding. Frankly, someone could've informed him that the next bullet point on the list was mass human extinction and he still would've acknowledged it in the same manner.
It had been days since Kai and I first met in his apartment to kick off a round of training that I still housed some skepticism about. We decided on Mondays, and the funny thing was, it was never a day of the week that I liked, for obvious reasons. Sudden start to busy weeks, a wake-up call from days spent sleeping in or going out with a carefree head, that's all the day was good for.
Sessions with Kai after working hours should've made them so much worse. Instead, I'd went back to my apartment days ago feeling...refreshed. Maybe hopeful, for the first time in a while. Like my power had been in a dangerous stalemate for a while and Kai was the confounding force to set things into a different motion. Where that force would take me, I didn't know, but I'd hold on with a steady hand and discover it eventually.
"How do you want us to proceed, Malachai?" An old Gemini inquired. Edward, Edmund...Edgar, I think? Too many faces, too many names to allocate to them.
We were sitting in the middle of the second Five Covens meeting and diving right into the nitty-gritty, now that the introductions and formalities from the first gathering were over with. And the petty complaints, I thought with a twinge of irritation, glancing at Cordelia and Elizabeth.
"How do I want you to proceed?" Kai repeated lazily. "I don't."
"Just to be clear, you don't want us to take any action?"
"On a low-scale bloodsucker rivalry?" He snorted softly. "It'd be a waste of resources and of our time. Not a Five Covens issue. Let them duke it out, and in the off chance that they start hiking up a body count, a few of us will head down there."
Edgar nodded his assent, returning his attention to the files shortly stacked below him. "Then we've covered the concerns for this meeting. Mostly tensions at the risk of the rising, or falling, so for now, we'll keep an eye out and keep you all updated."
Everyone looked over at Kai, waiting for his final word before they started dispersing.
"Meeting adjourned," Kai confirmed, standing from his chair. As soon as he uttered what were possibly sweetest two words known to man, I eagerly grabbed for my bag and got up with Sam and Luis.
"And it didn't end in a screaming match, or Eva threatening a Gemini." Luis pretended to wipe sweat off his brow, making Sam laugh. "Maybe these meetings aren't so bad."
"Maybe the no threatening a Gemini thing is a little premature," Sam said, as we walked out of the conference room. "We haven't even exited the building yet."
"Just admit that you guys wish I hashed it out with Cordelia again," I replied dryly. "I know you were seconds away from snoozing in there."
"I'd rather be fighting to stay awake, then holding you back from fighting our allies," Sam countered, patting the top of my head. I batted his hand away.
"Hate to not side with you here but you would not be able to hold her back, scrawny boy." Luis poked him hard in the side for emphasis.
I snickered loudly, while Sam looked offended. "I've been working out regularly! Just because I'm tall and I thin out a little more, does not mean that–"
"Eva!" An enthusiastic voice interrupted Sam's oncoming rant and I turned to see Derek jogging up to me, smiling. "Hey. Didn't get to catch you after the last meeting."
"Oh, hi, Derek."
"Uh, we'll call you later, Eva," Sam said, with an awkward wave. Luis, beside him, was raising his eyebrows between Derek and I, in a suggestive, but skeptical manner, as if to say, really? Him?
"Bye," I told them, while giving Luis a dark look, and tried not to stare longingly when they pushed their way through the double doors. Oh, what I'd give to be on my way to the Mexican restaurant that I'd Yelped earlier and minutes closer to chowing down on a takeaway plate of chicken tamales.
"So, how have you been settling into Portland?" He asked. "Me, personally, I've been a little homesick for Florida, but I'm adjusting pretty well."
"It's not like I haven't been itching for a change." I shrugged. "Sacramento's home, but it got old a long time ago."
"Yeah. Bet you have even more on your plate now, though." He patted my arm with a sympathetic laugh.
I raised an eyebrow. "Do I?"
He made a psh sound. "Way more than the rest of us newcomers. I mean, having to train privately with Malachai Parker? Dude. I would not wanna be you right now."
I crossed my arms. "Why not?"
"Isn't it obvious?" He chuckled. "I mean, I get that he's like...this new person since the merge, or however it goes in the Gemini books, but you can't tell me he doesn't give you chills. Guy's disturbed."
Hadn't I been making a similar argument just a few weeks ago, when my mother was trying to get me to hop aboard the train to Gemini town? I should be in full agreement with Derek now, even getting out a few jabs of my own about the coven leader. What I wasn't anticipating was the instant wave of disagreement with the notion that Kai should give me chills of fear, particularly because I was more than adept at handling myself.
But more pressingly, the chills I felt around him weren't induced by fear, or even caution. It was the feeling of those dark blue eyes lingering on my form, the occasional close contact between us...that made my skin prickle, my magic hum. Something told me Derek definitely wouldn't be able to comprehend that, and it wasn't a fact that I was about to share with anyone outside of myself.
"I can handle Kai," I answered in flat tones, flicking my hair over my shoulder. "I don't see why any self-respecting witch would be afraid of him."
Derek bristled at that and I hid a smirk at the embarrassment that flickered in his expression. "I'm not afraid of him, or anything, it's just that I wouldn't wanna be practicing magic with a guy who killed his whole family. Don't you think it's messed up that you have to listen to him?"
"I appreciate the concern, Derek, but I don't blindly follow people," I stated. "And it's just training."
"Right." He paused and I squinted at the hesitance.
"What?"
"Can I be super blunt here?" He took my silent stare as confirmation, because he quickly continued. "You're hot as fuck. And he's..." He grimaced. "Kind of a known player. If it's just training to you, it might not be to him."
I had to laugh at that. "Okay. Enough with the warnings. Did you not hear me when I said I can handle him?"
"Yeah, but-"
"Then that should've been the end of it," I cut him off coolly. "Did you really wanna ask how the move to Portland has been, or just needed to stick your nose in my business? We fucked a few times, Derek. That doesn't give you the green light to scrutinize the interactions I have with other men. Stay out of it."
Chagrined, he rubbed the back of his neck. "I get that. I just don't really trust him, but you know, as long as you know what you're doing."
I didn't, not when it came to Kai Parker, but rather than voice this truth, I nodded stiffly.
Before he could change the subject, or awkwardly excuse himself, I noticed a familiar figure approaching in my peripheral.
Kai walked right up to us with a deceptively light smile teasing his lips, swinging his keys around an index finger. "Hey, Luna. Am I driving you home today?"
I wanted to shut my eyes in consternation, right there, because now Derek was gaping at us like he'd just got dumped with new pieces to a puzzle that wasn't working to begin with. Of course, Kai would waltz over, laying a nickname on me like we were as chummy as could be and voicing a question that made us appear far more familiar than two coven members training together out of duty. I didn't care what Derek thought, really, but it would be just my kinda luck for it to potentially get around that I was shacking up with the formerly murderous Gemini leader.
"I have my car today," I told him, blatantly ignoring Derek's baffled ogling.
"Yeah?" He raised his eyebrows. "Shame. We had some fun last time."
Now, my jaw dropped and I was too stunned to hex him like I should've automatically. As expected, Derek was staring at me, obviously wanting to call me out, and it was then that Kai acknowledged him for the first time.
"You okay there, Dylan?" The mockery shone shamelessly through his question. He was such an asshole.
"I should go," Derek said, looking at me. "See you around."
I let him go, figuring it was a waste of energy to try and clear up Kai's inappropriately vague comment. Instead, I'd save the energy I had left for the coven leader who was frowning as he watched the witch retreat with hasty steps.
"Was it something I said?" He asked, tilting his head.
This time, I reacted immediately. I released a spark of magic from my fingertips, aiming it for his arm.
"Ow," he muttered, reaching up to rub his sleeve where I'd harshly zapped him, and glared at me. "In my own compound? That's just reckless."
"I don't care," I said dismissively. "What were you trying to do just now? That slick comment about us having fun in your car?"
"I was helping you. I saw you talking to him, you looked like you wanted to be anywhere else and he just wasn't letting up." He smirked. "So, I thought of a pretty quick way to send him off. You're welcome."
I eyed him in silent disbelief, clenching my jaw.
He looked from the left, then to the right. "If you're about to choke me, I totally get it, but that might only further prove to Derek that you like to get freaky with me. So counterproductive."
I rubbed my forehead, just to stop my hand from lashing out to do just that.
"Unless you wanna go somewhere more private. My office is pretty roomy, as you might recall."
"There goes my no threatening Geminis streak," I muttered to myself, dropping my hand, and slitting my eyes at the smiling warlock. It seemed like he was always smiling; he had the kind of attitude that bounced effortlessly between happy-go-lucky and shamelessly arrogant. A strange combination that he executed so naturally, and not one that I've really encountered so closely before.
"Your what?" He wondered curiously.
"Nothing." I sighed. "I really have to go now. There's tamales calling my name."
"Sounds serious." But instead of letting me dart off, he walked with me to the entrance. "So, just checking, same time this Monday?"
"If you can behave," I said, side-eyeing him.
He bit his lip in a smile, pushing the door open for me. "I'll be a model citizen just for you. It's the Kai's trainee guarantee."
"We're under contract now?"
"Duh. Can't have you exposing my top secret Gemini tips to the witch world. I like to have security."
"Jokes on you, Kai, I already leaked all the information from our first session to the Lunas. They stored it in the archives."
He laughed. "Quick work. You're an editor, full moon witch, and a spy? Some say that's the triple threat."
I fought a smile. "Nobody says that."
"I just did."
My stomach growled, a stern reminder from my body to excuse myself. "I'll see you Monday, Kai. If I don't eat in the next fifteen minutes, I think my body is going to start eating itself."
"More take-out, Eva?" He looked genuinely disapproving. "Maybe I should've offered to teach you to cook instead of controlling your magic."
I couldn't help laughing as I walked away, calling over my shoulder, "You're a coven leader, Kai, not a miracle worker."
•••
Kai's POV
I peered into the pot of hot, freshly prepared fettuccine alfredo and sighed triumphantly. I'd been in a pasta mood all day–those came every so often, and when they did, they hit strong. I might've made a little more than necessary, even for me, a guy who ate more than one helping at nearly every meal.
It was simple coincidence that Eva would be knocking on my door in the next ten or fifteen minutes, give or take. If she happened to want to try the food, I mean, who was I to deny her? I might've skipped out on a lot of manners, but sharing food with guests wasn't one of them.
I wasn't sure if training her, alone, in my damn apartment, was one of the best decisions I've made in recent time or one of the fucking dumbest, considering the depletion I feared my sanity would undergo. Seriously. Having her right here, her magic freed for practice and the temptation of it trickling throughout my space, needing to be close to her to provoke the power that she had to control...fuck, it was requiring some next-level restraint.
But I was a man decades of practice in patience. I could wait, hold back, and train her for the time-being. I could.
I could also afford to stop making it so much harder for myself. Case in point: last week, when my hands pinned her against the wall, her back to my chest. I was trying to prove a point, show her that suppression wasn't right for her, but the devilish part of me just wanted to have her at my mercy. For a moment, only, because Eva could never be at anyone's mercy for long, I was learning quickly.
But oh, fuck, had it completely scrambled my brain afterward. I didn't think she noticed the erection I had when she'd thrown me across the room, as she was too dazed from the revelation that I'd been right.
Parts of me were stirring in remembrance and I had to forcefully banish the trip down memory lane. She would be here any minute, I couldn't start off the session so dysfunctionally.
My phone rang and I turned to the counter to pick it up. A grimace formed on my face.
Joshua, the caller ID read.
I wanted to dismiss the call, but he'd just try again. He was notoriously relentless when he wanted something. The two of us were admittedly similar that way.
I didn't bother with pointless courtesies when I answered. "I'm busy."
"Isn't that always the case."
I rolled my eyes. "Get to it, Dad. You know I hate when you dawdle."
"Malachai, I wanted to speak to you about Eva Rodriguez."
I bristled, glancing at the door reflexively. "Why?"
"You said you're training her, helping her with her magic. It's...unexpectedly generous of you. Definitely unexpected." His tone was bitter.
I chuckled flatly. "Okay. If you called to remind me what a bad person I am, I'm hanging up–"
"I don't think you should do it."
I paused, staring out into my empty apartment in shock. It didn't take long for the anger to set in, a knee-jerk reaction to my father trying to give me his two cents on anything I choose to do.
"Back up," I said icily. "When did I start asking for your opinion on how I spend my time in the coven and the alliance?"
"Since I'm one of your advisors," he countered in a tight voice.
"Wasn't my choice, though, was it?" It was an unspoken tradition for the former leader to take a place on the counsel when the new winner of the merge took over. Had it been up to me, he'd be tossed down to the lowest rank possible. Or exiled to the dullest, magic-less corners of the world.
"Just listen, Malachai. Eva's power is something very...volatile. Beyond your understanding. I have a feeling that if you intervene, you'll make it worse. Even you probably realize that. You're not equipped for this kind of thing, son."
My hand tightened around the phone and if I were a vampire, it would've already snapped in half. "Not equipped to teach someone with an abnormal handle on magic? How about you remember who you're fucking talking to."
"There's no need to get vulgar, Malachai."
"Oh, fuck off, Josh. If you think I'm going to leave one of the most powerful members of the Five Covens in your hands, you're mistaken."
"I never said I wanted to train her in your place," he replied irritably. "In fact, I think it would be much better if we left her alone. No intervention from any of us."
I blinked rapidly, dumbfounded by this extremely poor insight. "And how would that be better? I'm especially not understanding how this is coming from you. You've nearly been the target of her magic a few times, unless you forgot. She needs help."
"Even if I agreed that she needed help, she definitely won't be able to get it from you. I know you, Malachai. It's not in your nature to help. It'd be best if you just stuck to leading."
Fury was sizzling in my blood, because there it was, that condescending tone he loved to pull out on me. It was the only weapon he could wield against me and he did it often, but I'd be damned if I let it sink into my subconscious now.
"First of all, you don't know me. Once you found out I was a siphon, you never wanted to anymore. And, guess what? I've changed since. I learned, from the things you made me go through, the lessons you tried to force. I learned enough to know exactly what I won't teach to Eva, when I keep training her."
His silence was deafening through the receiver, and then he spoke. "Keep training her? You've already started?"
"Mhm. And we're meeting again today, isn't that funny?"
He exhaled harshly. "Malachai, her power's not something any of us should meddle with. Some things in magic can be left as they are, believe it or not. I don't think you know what you're even getting yourself into, but it's foolish."
"Yeah, you've lost my interest." I sighed. "Also, if you really knew me, wouldn't you have realized by now that the more you tell me not to do something, the more likely I am to do it?"
Utterly done with the moronic conversation, I hung up.
I didn't know how long I stood there, fuming over my father largely overstepping yet again, when suddenly, there were three quick knocks at the door. Checking the time on my phone, I realized it was six. On the dot, I noted with a twinge of amusement.
When I opened the door, I hadn't fully shaken off the tension from the phone call but I was sure it would go away naturally. I just needed to be distracted and, as luck would have it, potentially the best distraction was standing on my threshold in an off-the-shoulder brown sweater and jeans.
"You're on time today," I pointed out, while gesturing for her to come inside.
"Hallways were clear, it was a smooth three-second walk," she replied, then bent down to pull her boots off. I swallowed, forcing myself to walk back to the kitchen and not stare at her ass on visual display.
"What's that smell?" She sniffed, then sighed dreamily. I looked over to see her approaching the pot on the stove curiously.
"Fettucine alfredo. Made some for dinner, and ended up going overboard with the measurements. So, if you're hungry–"
"Yes," she said instantly, wide eyes on the creamy pasta inside the pot. I laughed at her reaction.
"Thought so. Take a seat."
She complied, pushing herself up onto the stool at the island and placing her chin in her hands. Her sweater slipped down a little more when she leaned forward like that and her cleavage was visible from this angle. So much bare skin, I had to turn away, because I was on the verge of visualizing my tongue descending upon it.
I served us two plates and glasses of water, then stood across from her because I really didn't know if I could handle sitting directly beside her now. Thankfully, she didn't question it, too busy digging into the heap of pasta.
"Oh, wow," she uttered, but seemed to realize she still had some pasta in her mouth because a shade of rose colored her cheeks. I bit the inside of my cheek, gazing at the appealing sight of Eva blushing.
When she swallowed her first bite, she met my eyes. "Okay. You definitely use magic in the kitchen, or something."
"No, I'm just that good," I corrected smugly, then eyed her when she continued to chow down with vigor. "Did you eat today?"
She glanced up, taking a moment to answer. "Yeah. A little." Her expression turned sheepish. "I need to make a trip to the grocery store. Properly stock up."
I gave her a look. "Eva, you're in Portland for the long haul, not on vacation."
"I know, Kai." She twirled her fork into the pasta. "Did it ever occur to you that I'm just lazy?"
"Add it to the training to-do list," I said. "You're gonna be a real piece of work, Luna."
She laughed. "This is magical training, not an introspection session. Stick to your territory."
I was smiling, then my father's words were triggered. It'd be best if you just stuck to leading. The leftover anger had almost been alleviated, now that Eva was here, but I was stewing in it again.
I didn't realize I was glaring down at my plate, hardly eating any of it, until Eva said my name in confusion.
I looked up quickly and she had put her fork down to watch me.
"Is everything okay?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because if you're pissed today and planning on making today's training even rougher, I feel like I should've gotten a heads up."
I shook my head, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "You're safe from my wrath today, Luna. I'm just a little on edge."
She studied me in interest. "Why?"
"Just got off the phone with my dad before you came here."
Immediately, she grimaced. "Oh. Got it."
That made me smile despite myself. The shittiness of Joshua Parker was something we both understood, albeit for varying reasons, and it was satisfying to know someone who wasn't anymore willing to respect the man than I was.
"What?" She looked puzzled. "You're smiling."
I cleared my throat, delving back into my pasta. "I don't like what he did to you and your coven, Eva, but it's kinda refreshing. That you hate him as much as I do." I chuckled. "Unless hate's too strong a word for you–"
"No," she cut me off. "Hate's exactly it. And if there were a word stronger than that, it would still apply."
"Despise?" I offered, while shoveling a forkful of pasta in my mouth.
"Mmm." Her face scrunched. "Doesn't carry that same oomph."
"Ooooh, how about loathe?"
"Now you're just being too nice."
I grinned and we ate in silence for the next few moments.
"What did he say to you?" Eva asked suddenly. "If it's personal, you don't have to tell me, I just...I mean, you looked really upset."
I exhaled through my nostrils, wondering if I should even tell her that she'd been the subject matter. Then, one look into her brown eyes, so open and curious, and I figured, what the hell, she had a right to that information, didn't she?
"He doesn't want me to train you," I told her, then watched her face as that sunk in. Her eyebrows shot up, then furrowed.
"I don't understand."
I shrugged. "Neither do I. He seems to strongly believe that I'm not capable of teaching you, and that you'd be better off left alone."
Similar to my own reaction earlier, her face morphed into a glower. "What an old prick."
"Eva, it might not even be anything personal to you," I tried to reassure her. A blow to her certainty that she could improve wasn't what we needed right now. We just started training, damn it, and I won't let Joshua fuck up the progress before it can really propel.
"How is it not personal to me?" She laughed once, the sound lacking humor. "He's probably fed up from the way I've been acting toward him. Figured I didn't deserve any favors."
"I'm telling you, he just doesn't want it to be me, whether he'll admit that or not. I'm a siphon, so the thought that I could be a guide for others is laughable to him." I snorted. "He told me I should stick to leading. Patronizing dickhead."
She stared at me, the anger still fresh in her gaze. "That is such bullshit. The irony of him trying to tell you that you wouldn't know how to help. You know what? There's one Gemini between the two of you that doesn't know how to help someone who's asking for it, and it's not you. I never want to hear that asshole preach about being a guide, because I swear to God, he'll be six feet under."
I gawked at her, in the aftermath of her rant driven by fury. There was an unfamiliar twisting in my chest, at hearing her fiery words come to life, seemingly on my behalf? It wasn't all for me, I knew that, but in a way, she was drawing the lines, between my father and I. And for once in my life, I was being placed on the good side.
That hadn't happened before, with anyone. It was always the opposite.
I knew the circumstances were different for her. She'd been wronged by my father, severely so, and hadn't even met me until last month. It was merely by default that I was perceived as better to her, but it didn't feel that superficial. The blazing in her eyes just now as she verbally crucified my father reached deeper inside of me.
Eva shifted uncomfortably, looking back down to her plate. Shit. I'd been staring at her too long and had to gather myself fast.
"I feel like this goes without saying, but I told him to fuck off."
A smile formed on her face and she glimpsed at me with a glimmer of what I thought was appreciation.
"Good. Because I didn't walk all the way down the hall to be told that I'm not getting what I came for."
I laughed, feeling the air naturally clear, and ate another bite of pasta.
She had cleaned up nearly all of her plate, much to my satisfaction, when she placed her hands firmly onto the kitchen island.
"Can I ask you something?"
I was a little wary, but nonetheless replied with, "Sure."
She inhaled deeply, her eyes locking onto my face. "How exactly does the merge work? Because I know it changes you, but the extent of that change is something I don't understand. And I feel like I should. I mean, I'm training with you now, therefore spending way more time with you than I ever anticipated I would, so I just...I wanna get it, Kai. Who you were before, and how much of it is still in you."
I stilled, gauging her expression. It was composed, giving nothing away except for her genuine curiosity. She wasn't using this as a way to corner me, or menacingly wave bad history in my face. Even though she honestly could, justifiably.
"The merge is exactly what the name would imply," I began, leaning my weight on my forearms so we were at eye level. "A mergence between witches, but not just of their magic. Of their souls. I merged with my brother, Luke, and got his. His qualities, molding into my personality, transforming me into something I wasn't before."
"So, the part of you that's not a sociopath," she said hesitantly. "That's just your brother's soul, portraying itself?"
I shook my head. "I'm still me, Eva. It's not like he's his own voice in my head, telling me right from wrong, making my decisions for me. He was just...the catalyst for change. I took his most prominent qualities, like...like empathy." I bit my lip. "Guilt. Compassion. And they became a part of me, in a different way than they were for him."
I stopped, looking her over. She was listening quietly and I had an urgent wish to sift through her thoughts.
"I feel the things that he did, but not in the way he did." My hand came up to rub at the bottom of my jaw and I hoped I was making sense. "I'm not some vessel for Luke to use and carry out his whims. He died, and an untapped part of me came alive."
Eva contemplated this. "But the rest of you didn't just disappear."
"No," I admitted hesitantly. "I was a clinical sociopath. Kinda hard for that to go poof."
She didn't seem put off by this, which is what a part of me was expecting, and her face still held that same thoughtful expression that had me wondering. Was I proving to her that I was someone she could work closely with in training, or infusing her with the opposite train of thought? I tried not to overthink it because really, I was being honest here, and all I could do was let her make of that what she would.
Why I was thinking so much about what her opinion of me would shape into was something I couldn't fucking figure out. And I kind of hated it, because this sensation of sitting across from someone, waiting for their reaction like there were valuable things at stake, was making me feel sick.
"Why'd you do it?" Eva asked, an edge to her words. "Why'd you kill your family?"
My throat was feeling dry and I had to pause to take a drink of water, while keeping my eyes on her solemn expression.
"You've heard the stories," I muttered, mostly to deflect, because my gut was painfully twisting.
"So what? They're stories, Kai. Retellings that people who weren't even there amp up for flair. I still don't understand why it happened."
My jaw clenched, as the memories of that day ominously passed over me like shadows. "It's not like I woke up that morning and decided you know what, today's the day I'm going to kill my family. I'd had violent thoughts before, mostly about my father, but I didn't act on them. Those years building up to my twenty-second birthday, I used the merge as an anchor. Something to keep me from exploding."
A sardonic smile crossed my lips. "And then I overhear my father in his office that morning. It's funny...1994 and it's still a day that I can remember every detail of. I was walking down the hall, about to head out early. Just to go for a drive, clear my head. I'd just finished my last year of college. Graduation was coming up. There wasn't much around to distract me from my family anymore, so I had to start improvising."
My smile tightened. "He left the door open, a little bit. I heard him talking with my sister, Jo, and my name had come up, so I stopped to listen. He was telling her that she had to avoid discussing the merge with me, ignore it until he came up with a solution on how to deal with me." I snorted. "Our birthday was in the middle of April, so he knew I was getting suspicious."
"You found out he wasn't going to let you merge at all," Eva murmured.
I exhaled harshly. "For years, my parents were having kids like it was a damn marathon. And I believed my father's excuses about keeping the coven alive. Then, that day, I hear him mention to Jo that my little siblings, Olivia and Lucas, were the replacements. The first batch of Parker twins since Jo and I were born, and he was going to wait for their twenty-second birthday to replace his leadership."
I was sure my face was reflecting the dark memories I was simmering in, but Eva was hardly perturbed. So, I continued, detailing the most significant turning point of my life.
"I went in there to confront him, ask what the fuck he was thinking, keeping me from my birthright. But he said the chance of me winning against Jo was too high and he had to do this, for the sake of the Geminis."
I clenched my fist against the counter, feeling the guilt roiling inside me, when I remembered what happened next. "And...I snapped. That was it for me. As far as I was concerned, if I didn't have the merge, I had nothing. And I wanted to make sure my father would know what that felt like. I went downstairs, ran into my younger brother, Jacob, first."
Eva took in a sharp breath and I glanced up at her, remembering that I had an attentive audience of one and wasn't back there, in my childhood home.
"I'll spare you the details," I told her, grimacing in shame. "That part, I'm sure you've heard vividly anyway."
"Once or twice," she replied quietly. "Olivia and Luke were the only ones to survive. And your twin."
"My dad's set of wonder twins were safe. Jo told me that she'd merge with me, to save them." I swallowed. "My sister was always bold that way. Selfless, in a way I never understood. I used to look down on her for it. But she actually ended up outsmarting me."
I humorlessly chuckled. "We were in the woods, surrounded by members of my coven. I was saying the incantation, knew it like the back of my hand for years, but nothing was happening. And then I realized Jo wasn't saying anything. Neither was my coven. Then, in comes Papa Parker, aiming an Ascendant at me. I was blinded by light, then I was alone."
My screams echoed intrusively in my skull, the ones that had been desperately released from my lungs when I crumpled to the grass.
Eva hesitated, studying my face with furrowed brows. "Do you regret it?"
"Killing my siblings?" I replied. I'd had so much time to mull that over, when I first merged and was burdened by the long-suppressed emotions and brutal actions of my past. "Not a day goes by where I don't feel it. The guilt. They shouldn't have had to die because I was angry at Joshua, I know that. I had eighteen years to think about it, and then when I merged, it hit me ten times harder than it ever had. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was reliving the murders I'd committed but through this...lens that wasn't blurred by sociopathy. For once in my life."
My throat felt like it was clogging up and I swallowed roughly. It was a feeling that sucked, but one I deserved. A price that I knew had to be paid for Jacob, Joey, Isabelle, and Elliot.
Eva was taking it all way better than I expected, simply because she wasn't staring me down like I was the scum of all Geminis, but I guess she had a lot of time to think about this. She'd known the stories of the psycho Parker long before we met and this was only a firsthand recount of it.
It wasn't a part of me that I actively tried to hide from anyone, or one that I ignored. I knew who I was, and that living as a sociopath for years was still an integral factor of that. Still, I wasn't exactly looking to discuss it with her today, because as much as it was part of me, it was a history doused in my own shame.
"You don't trust me," I spoke up, catching her surprised look. "That's–it's okay. I just want you to know, the guy who went on a murder spree in 1994 is a far cry from who's standing in front of you now. I don't know if that counts for anything in your book, but it's the truth."
I realized my hands were instinctively going across the counter, reaching for hers, and I retracted them quickly. She didn't seem to notice the motion, as her eyes were boring deeply into mine. Like she was searching for visual evidence of the earnestness behind my words.
Say something, I urged her silently, because her deep-in-thought look was making me feel a weird kind of jittery.
At any moment, she could choose to walk out the door, the fresh reminder that I'd murdered my sister and brothers in cold blood propelling her every step. I wouldn't even stop her, but the thought hurt.
"I don't trust you."
I stared at her, taken aback by the sudden admission. But her face wasn't twisted with revulsion, or bitterness, and that confused me even more.
"I mean, if it makes you feel better, I wouldn't trust you even if you hadn't done what you did," she continued. "Because I don't trust anyone in your coven, really."
"That's fair."
"But I think I prefer you to the rest of them," she said, and now she was looking down at her pasta plate, instead of at me. "I don't know if it's just because you weren't part of this world when my father died, or because you've defended my power, but...I mean that. I wouldn't train with any of them, Kai."
I must've looked downright idiotic now, with the way I was blinking like an owl. She didn't trust me, and for a second, that stung, but it didn't shock me either. But she was starting to separate me from the others, favor me even, and that was the most baffling part of it all. I'd never been the favored Gemini, the one people were inclined to lean toward, and yet Eva was sitting in my apartment, indirectly saying just that.
"But if you do anything to screw that up..." She picked up her fork and pointed at me, narrowing her eyes. "I'll give you a more detailed demonstration of that little preview from our sparring trial."
I smiled widely when she continued to eat the rest of her food nonchalantly. "Message received."
We finished our servings in a silence that was remarkably unconstrained by lingering tensions, in the wake of what I'd gotten off my chest. Eva had cleaned hers, much to my satisfaction, and was wearing the dazed look of someone fulfilled.
I bit my lip in amusement and pointed at my own cheek. "You got a little bit of alfredo sauce right here, Luna. Although I do take that as a compliment."
She frowned, swiping at her skin but didn't catch the smear of white sauce. Grumbling to herself, she started searching for a napkin.
I watched her predicament for a few seconds before bringing my hand to touch her face. She immediately stopped looking around and her eyes locked on my face, then trailed down to my thumb pressing into her cheek lightly. Surprisingly, she didn't blow me backwards with a motus, so I took that as a cue to continue.
Jesus, her skin is so soft, I thought in awe, as I dragged my thumb down to wipe away the small smudge of sauce. The tip of my finger caught on the corner of her full bottom lip in my descent and my breath caught in my throat.
I was fully gazing at her mouth now, at my finger grazing it, and noticed her lips part.
Then, she pulled back, making my hand fall away. "Um, thanks. For the food, and–that. We should get started on training now."
"Yeah," I agreed, smirking at how she tried to play it cool while she hurriedly brought her dirty dishes to the sink.
•••
"You want me to fight you?"
Eva had her arms crossed, watching me in vague skepticism while I cracked my knuckles.
"Now, that's not the reaction I was expecting," I commented, amused. "Don't you dream of opportunities to toss your favorite offensive spells at me, Luna?"
"Oh, nightly."
I laughed. "Then I expect to see way more enthusiasm than that."
She rolled her eyes, leaning her weight on one hip. "I just don't get the purpose. Is this another suppression is bad demonstration? Because I think I got that last week, loud and clear."
"It's an extension of that," I corrected her. "You realizing that suppression is actually counterproductive to your control is only the first step. Now, you need to unlearn it. It's been ingrained in you since you first became acquainted with your magic, so it's not some one session solution."
"And me fighting you factors into that, how?"
"The consequences of suppression come out when someone provokes you," I explained. "That's best shown in a fight, witch versus witch, when powers are running high. You lost it for a moment, near the end of the first trial, and again, in the third. You need to focus on breaking the link between magical dueling and getting overwhelmed."
Her forehead crinkled. "I can try, but–"
"No but's," I cut her off, shaking my head. "Trial and error, Eva, that's all there is to it. But you can't doubt yourself."
She uncrossed her arms, taking a step toward me. I suppressed a smile, realizing that she was physically readying herself.
"Let's go, Parker."
There she is, I thought with a wicked sense of exhilaration.
She tilted her head back, closing her eyes, and her red and gold aura shrouded over her body. My lips parted, but I quickly clamped them shut and focused on releasing my own power to answer her preparedness.
Eva summoned spheres into her hands and launched them forward. Clearly, she wasn't interested in any preamble.
I managed to thwart their trajectory, fizzling the magic with whorls of my own, and instantly retaliated with a motus. Throwing her off balance was key here, in order to push her as far as I could in this space and see if she maintained her control.
She slammed against the wall, gasping at the impact, and glared darkly at me.
"Too much?" I egged her on.
She stalked forward and roped strands of magic around my torso, using the leverage to yank me to her. I swallowed a curse, as she stopped my propulsion with a hand on my chest. She curled her fingers into the fabric of my shirt and tugged me down to meet her eyes.
"Not enough," she corrected with an arched brow.
She began another incantation, but I used the time to break free of the magical binds and seize her by the shoulders.
"I'll amp it up then," I breathed in challenge and she swiped my hands away, raising her other to blast me with a pain spell that radiated throughout my torso.
"Fuck," I hissed, doubling over, then laughed darkly, glancing up at her through my lashes. "Ouch. Invisique."
I disappeared from her view and saw her eyebrows shoot up, then annoyance filtered through her expression.
"Cheap move, Kai," she called out, looking around cautiously with her magic on alert.
I circled her like a predator, watching her gaze dart around, and stopped just behind her. Her shoulders were slightly heaving with the adrenaline and then she paused, starting to glance over her shoulder. Before she could, I revealed myself and grappled her into my chest, one hand wrapping around her neck.
"Boo," I whispered in her ear and marveled at the rage in her features. "You're angry. Now fight me back, without letting that anger consume you."
She reached up to grip the arm I was using to grasp her neck, in a hold that let her breathe but kept her still. Then, I felt the sensation of skin burning and cursed, wrenching my arm away.
She elbowed me roughly to free herself and turn to face me.
"That's it," I praised through a slight wheeze, rubbing my ribs. "Now-"
Before I could finish, Eva sent out a wave of magic to knock me to the floor and knelt beside me to smile triumphantly.
"Indisposed," she said, gesturing at my position. "And I didn't even have to–"
My hand lashed out to curl around her leg and I yanked it, making her fall to her back with a shocked outtake of air. I switched our positions, this time trapping her beneath my body hovering above her, and pinned her wrists beside her head.
Oh, fuck me, I groaned internally, realizing too late that the position I instinctively trapped her in was overtly suggestive. It was like I wanted to torture myself.
Her reaction only made it worse, those wide brown eyes connecting with mine and her full lips parted to release soft pants. Her gaze dropped lower and I realized she was glancing at my mouth. Which was, in no way, helping me curb the urges to turn this training session into something more interesting, because my want for this woman was turning into a fucking frenzy.
Then, I noticed her eyes fall shut, brows crinkling, and it took me a moment to realize why. Her magic was glowing brighter, in a telltale way that raised my guard. She was trying to concentrate, to prevent it, but it was only blazing with more fieriness by the second.
"Eva, don't," I said firmly, although I was grateful for the new focus. A reminder of why we were both in this position. "You were doing fine without it. Control it."
"I–" She inhaled unsteadily, shaking her head. "It doesn't-it won't listen to me, Kai, I can't."
"You can."
"No," she uttered through clenched teeth. "It fights back."
"Eva, it's not stronger than your will. Just concentrate."
"How?" She inquired desperately, opening her eyes in frustration. "I can't."
The vocalization was punctuated by a blast of red and gold, forcing me backward. I slammed into the side of the couch and skittered backward with it, until the structure hit the wall. I was fairly sure I heard a crack in the plaster.
Eva was sitting up now, staring out at the night sky through the balcony windows. Her jaw was taut.
"I told you," she said tiredly.
I got up, holding back a grunt, and walked over to her. She looked up at me through weary eyes.
I held my hand out. "Come on, Luna. Let's go again."
She eyed my hand like it was something alien, then peered at me. I saw her reluctance.
"It's part of the learning," I reminded her. "The unlearning, to be more exact. We can either try again, or give up now, and that'll be you accepting that your power rules you, and not vice versa. I know you don't want that."
"No," she said softly. "I don't."
She took my hand and let me help her up, so we could engage in another round.
Author's Note: i went into this chapter thinking it'd be a filler, and a lot shorter, but as usual, i got carried away by keva and delved into a bit of angst because it's my favorite flavor. hope you guys enjoyed (: