Assalamualaikum
Hi guys
So here is the next chapter.. this is the longest chapter I have ever wrote 😰 so please don't be kanjoos to do voting and commenting on this chapter 🙄
💔 I hope you got the hint. So please grabbed tissue papers before started reading this
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Author's POV.
After coming back from his job he locked himself in his room. He tried his best to keep himself from any breakdown. That morning after Hana's another outburst he became numb. Walking out of her room he drove to his job office being lifeless. This time Hana's words wounded him to the soul. He couldn't believe that he became reasoned of hana's suffocation. And hana was desperately wanted to be free from him.
I think I can't fight for you anymore.
His broken side thought. But he Shook his head as he remembered about his child.
But I can't lose my child.
As the thought of his child losing make him shudder. Closing his eyes tightly he sat on bed gripping his head.
"It's not going to work" he heard a voice and snap his head toward the door and saw there standing Ariba with smirk on her face.
Rahmaan let out a frustrated sigh and look away.
"Oh rahem... That's rude" she pouted while walking toward him.
"What are you doing here? And why you came again in my life ariba? Didn't I told you to not come again in my life nor show me you face" he said coldly while going away from there where Ariba was.
"Nawaz bhai want me to get married.. even he found suitable proposal for me" she said huffing.
"That's great... You should think about your future Ariba" rahmaan said this time little softly.
"Nah! I don't want to marry anyone else.. rahem I came here to let you know that I want to marry you.. I love you and we can make a great couple" she exclaimed and rahmaan was looking at her like she had grown two heads.
"Are you even in your sense? I'm already married and love my wife more than anything and Inshallah soon going to be a father of mine and Hana's first child" rahmaan spoke slowly and loudly.. like she was some kind of insane person who needed time be understand each and everything.
Ariba's face fumed In anger. She clenched her jaw angrily.
"I did everything to break this relationship and your saying your still in love with her" she yelled in frustration. But when she realised what she said her head snap toward him. But to her surprised rahmaan was smiling at her.
"I..uh..um..." she didn't know what to say. She became afraid to see his reaction. And his smiled make her frightened for some reason.
"I know everything Ariba.. from the beginning" he spoke Ariba stare at him wide eyes.
"What..." Cutting her off he continued.
"How you manipulate hana... How you make misunderstanding in between us.. how you proved yourself innocent infront of me and put every blame on hana.. and all of this.. you successfully brainwashed me to denied that my child wasn't mine" he said everything in calm but his face turned into Anger in the end. Ariba eyes grew wide at his last statement.
"What... No! I didn't brainwashed you.. it's Jake..." She abruptly stopped from Saying anything further while rahmaan smirked.
"Jake! That day Jake called me when I was informed about Hana's pregnancy and brainwashed me that my child would ruin my life even I tried to reasoned him but still he did what YOU told him to do" he seethed in anger and Ariba stood there numb.
"How... How do you know?" She asked in low voice.
"Alex inform me after few days you left.. he heard you and Jake talking about this.. and told me everything... But still I didn't confront you nor jake.. since that day I haven't talked to him.. he is not my friend anymore.. I'm not blaming anyone cause if I was in my right mind and believe in my love than no one can brainwashed me.. that's why I haven't uttered a word about this to anyone else nor even hana.. that you both brainwashed me that day" he told everything and again guilt consumed him that he let them came in between him and hana.
"Now it's already done Rahem.. you can't proved yourself innocent saying this" after sometime she come back to her usuall self as she realised he can't do anything.
"I know I can't prove myself innocent but I can prove her my true love"
"Hana doesn't want! She want divorce from you! She hates you!" Ariba almost shouted in anger.
"It doesn't matter.. if she hates me or not.. I love her. And I will always love her.. I'm only hers...."
"But she's not yours anymore rahem" Ariba said smirking cutting him off. Rahmaan felt his heart clenched painfully. Cause he couldn't deny her. After this morning he almost lost every hope getting her back.
"But still I'm hers and I will always be hers.. khuda na kare ( god forbid) if we divorce in future... My heart will always belongs to her and I will always be hers.. only hers.. no one can take her place in my heart and in my life" his voice barley came out due to the pain he was feeling just to think of their divorce and his lonely life. But deep down he knew.. this loneliness is waiting for him.
Ariba stamped her feet in anger as she accepted that rahmaan was long gone from her hand and he meant it that he only hana's. Feeling dejected she storm out of the room. She didn't notice that person who was outside of the Rahmaan's room.
Hana
She stood their biting her lips trying to hold back her sob.
She was going toward kitchen when she saw rahmaan coming into the house without noticing her he headed towards his room as always she tried to ignore that but then she saw Ariba follow rahmaan to his room. Hana was again started fuming in anger. She thought rahmaan again going to cheat her that's why she hide on the door way to heard them out and to caught him doing anything red handed so she can got divorce from him without feeling guilty or regret. But as she heard them and rahmaan's love confession, her heart clenched painfully. Her tears started pooling in her eyes. She felt her heart become restless for him again.
She peek inside and saw him leaned over the window frame. His back was facing her. She was about to step in but stopped as something in her stoping her from going to him.
Maybe fear
Fear of being betrayed again by him. Maybe he didn't love her truly and all those was just his guilt. And he just wanted her to satisfy his ego. Cause hana realised her biggest fear was his ego. In his ego he kissed Ariba, in his ego he never listen to her, in his ego he hurt her many time apart from denying that their child wasn't his. Now she can think about this that he being brainwashed said that without thinking but what about others think.
So she couldn't bring herself from going to him. she took few steps back and turned around and walked away from there.
Ariba left the country next day after that day of her and rahmaan's confrontation without telling anyone. After seeing rahmaan love hana to the extent from where he couldn't came back she left hopeless.
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Rahmaan's POV
Again passed a month like this, painful days and nights plus Hana's ignorance and hana spending time with muneeb. Yes muneeb started coming here now and then to spend his time with her. He said he resigned his previous job and searching here a new job in their city.
Hana become more comfortable with him. She started smiling and laughing more often if he was around her. This all was painful for me but I'm bearing all this assuring myself that deep down hana loves me. And only me.
But as passing days my hope become lesser, Of her lovingly me. And more painfull is for me that now hana started ignoring me completely. If I went to there where hana was she stood from there and walked away. I don't know why she's avoiding me. Whenever I tried to talked to her she dismiss me rudely saying she didn't wanted to hear anything from me. And since couple of weeks I stopped going to her. She wanted to be away from me. So let it be
In all those I lost my job cause I couldn't concentrate on my work and did couple of mistakes which caused my boss to throw me out of the office. And i accepted that I'm not capable of anything. Hana was right.
I was in garden when I saw hana and muneeb's car park in porch. They both went for shopping for my baby. I chuckled at my fate. I can't even shopping for my own child.
Hana's due date is very near and I'm too excited and scared at the same time. Excited to see my baby and scared after that hana will asked divorce from me and I couldn't deny as baba promise her if I won't be able to won her before our child's birth then he will make me divorce her.
I came out of my daze as I heard muneeb's voice. He was calling hana who ran inside while wiping her face? Is she crying? I abruptly stood up and walked behind them. I saw hana going inside her room followed by muneeb. I stood there few minutes debating whether to go or not. If she became angry then.
I decided to go cause if she was crying then she needs me. Again a false hope consumed me and before I could stopped myself i walked inside her room.
But my feet rooted on their place and all the air sucks out off me. My heart stopped it's beats as I saw what in front of me.
Hana was hugging muneeb wrapping her arms around him while pressing her face in his chest clutching him tightly. While muneeb also wrapped his arms around her. Hana was crying in his chest.
"Shh.. princess please stop crying" muneeb said. His voice filled with concern.
"I don't know what to do. I'm confuse.. it too much for me to bear muneeb... All this is killing me... A storms of confusion and fear is crawling in my every nerve.. I want peace... please do something muneeb... Please do something" she was crying in his chest while he was saying soothing words while rubbing her back.
I should be angry right? If that old rahmaan was here he would have killed muneeb till now but to my surprise I wasn't feeling any kind of Anger toward both of them.
I was feeling numb and dead. I felt my soul will be leaving anytime. And I was waiting for that time but for my best luck It won't come. I was still breathing.
Seeing and hearing hana asking peace from muneeb begging him to do something for her peace. I accepted I lost her completely. Their is no way I can get my hana back. After seeing this if I continue fight for her then it will hurt my hanu even more. And I can't hurt her now.
As if sensing my presence she snap her head toward me. Her red and tear filled eyes met mine hollow and lifeless. Her eyes grew wide and she took few step back from muneeb unconsciously. Seeing her fear filled eyes a broken smiled appears in my lips. Without saying anything I turned around to leave but stopped as I saw mama and baba stood on the door way. I wasn't surprised to see my mama's eyes filled with tears seeing me but I was surprised to see my baba moisten eyes.
Did I mention that since last month baba stopped his rude behaviour towards me. He still haven't talked to me as before but still replied me. And it proves that something is changed in him toward me.
I pressed my lips together and walked out of her room.
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Sitting in my room holding my dead warrant in my hands I was staring at it praying for it to change into ashes but sadly it won't.
Divorce papers which hana gave me with her signature. I've thought to divorce her but I couldn't bring myself doing this.
Yesterday after coming out of her room I didn't went out of my room and locked myself here. i heard from mama -as she bark in my room to gave me breakfast- that muneeb left the house after that but he came back today with Marziya aapi.
All night I think about my life, every moments I spent with hana, her unconditional love, my Every sins, my betrayal, my regret, my repent my struggle to earned her forgiveness and every fights I did to get her back. And then a question started ranging in my mind.
For whom im fighting for.. the person who doesn't want to do anything with me. Who hates me. Who even said that she would be happy to see me in pain.
And In the end accepting my fate i decided to end all this. Decided to free her from this burden.. decided to give her this last happiness of my pain.
"Don't think too much beta (son).. just do it" I was in my thoughts when I head a familiar voice. I looked up and saw baba.
I was shocked to see baba in my room. Didn't i locked the door after mama left giving me breakfast -which was still placed on my bedside table-.
I was looking at him confusedly as he smiled sadly walking toward the bed where I was sitting.
Putting his hand on my head he almost whisper "let her go"
And I know what he meant. As if someone on the every cell of my emotions I broke down. My tears started falling down and lips started trembling with my body like small kid. Suddenly I felt I couldn't bear this pain. A sob escaped my mouth. Baba instantly sat beside me and hugged me tightly. Rubbing my back.
"Baba" I whisper hugging him while crying.
"Shh.. baba ki Jaan" baba whisper. And it maybe a first time baba called me with so much love.
"Baba... Baba I can't do this.. I'll die baba" I whisper in his shoulder sobbing.
"No! Your not that weak.. My son isn't a weak person and you proved it. You may made a mistakes in your immaturity but you truly did everything to make things right. Your afford didn't go unnoticed by me beta.. even Ali also informed me everything" he paused and pulled me back. I was embarrassed that I was hiccuping like teenage heartbroken girl.
"I thought you would have accept your defeat a month ago. after hana clearly told you that she want to be free from you and you make her suffocated but you again proved me wrong.. you still did everything to talk to her to win her" baba stopped his eyes were moisten. I was looking at him confused. How he knows that hana said those things to me. He must notice my confusion as he sadly smiled.
"I heard your conversation with hana that morning" baba inform me. I looked down didn't know what to do.
( A/N : bibizahra she is the only one who guess it correctly. So I thought to shouted her name😅)
"Let her go beta.. you broke her to the extent that maybe she doesn't want to come back to you.. in all those months you can't mend her then it's only few days left for her to walk out of this house and out of your life.. and trust me it would be difficult for her too.. so don't push her too much.. as she said your efforts make her feel like your forcing her to change her mind.. so don't to it and let her free.. accept that she isn't meant to be yours.. aur tumse azadi uski Khushi hai ( and being free from you is her happiness)" baba said everything softly. I felt my eyes again filled with new tears. Its not easy to accept this.
"Mai nahi jee Sakta uske bina ( I can't live without her)" I cried out. And many tears left my eyes.
Baba cupped my face wiping my tears " for her happiness beta.. you need to let her go" he said and I saw a tear escaped his eyes. Making my heart tighten even more.
"I'm sorry baba... I only gave you pain" I whispered but he shook his head.
"I'm sorry rahmaan.. this is all my fault.. I shouldn't have agreed with rafeeq bhai for your and Hana's childhood nikah... It's our mistakes that you both are suffering now... Please forgive me beta" baba was about to joined his hand infront of me while two more tears escaped his eyes but I held his hand.
"No baba.. please don't do this" I shake my head. "It our fate.. and this is my punishment" I said looking at the divorce papers.
"Your right baba... I need to let her go for her happiness" I declared. I looked at baba who was looking at me with sadness and pain. gulping down sorrowful lump in my throat I told baba what I want after that. He seems to refused but I make him understand that it necessary for all of us and in the end he agreed with my decision and as per my request he promised me that he will convince mama for me. And left my room.
Taking my mobile I called. And talked to that person and when he asked when I want this? I replied.
"Next flight"
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Author's POV
After he done with his packing he walked toward Hana's room with that divorce papers and something memorable.
Knocking on her door he waited for answer. And after a minute door open by Marziya. Marziya kept stare at him like she was in daze or she was searching something. And her eyes didn't show that regular hate which she had for him.
Flashing a small smile he asked "Can I talk to hana for few minutes?"
His voice seems to be weak and vulnerable. Marziya stare at him few moments before nodding her head and walked out of the room. He stood there few minutes thinking about why marziya behaved softly at him. But he doesn't have time to waste thinking anything else. So he walked inside.
As he came he saw hana seated on the edge of the bed hiding her face behind her palms. Lowering her head.
She lifted her head sensing his presence and her eyes instantly filled with fear. Since yesterday she was in fear that anytime rahmaan will bark into her room and started shouting at her for that cheap act she does by hugging a na-mehram (although she many time assure herself that she isn't answerable to him) But he didn't came and now seeing him suddenly she tensed.
Rahmaan notice her being tensed and before he could say anything in her fear of his anger hana stood up and started throwing her hurtful words to him.
"What are yo... You doing here? Listen if your thinking about throwing your angers at me or shouting at me then remembered one thing you have no rights to say anything to me.. and I'm not answerable to you" she declared hiding her fear. Rahman stare at her blankly for sometime before smiling at her.
Hana felt dreadful feeling filled her stomach. His weird smiled make her frightened to the core. This was the same smiled he gave her yesterday.
Walking toward her he stood closed to her. Putting his hands on her shoulder he made her sit on the bed -hana didn't protest- and he himself sat on the ground infront of her. On his knees.
They both silently stare at each other. Rahmaan was savouring her face in his every nerve cause who knows when he will see her again or maybe not as his hanu as his wife. And that thought again clenched his heart painfully that he won't be able to see her again.
While hana was staring at him still frightening waiting for his outburst but nothing cames. He only stare at her.
"You ask me something for the first time" after sometime he finally opened his mouth. Hana frowned.
"Azaadi. Azaadi mangi thi na tumne mujhese... ( You asked me to free you)" he paused and look at her with broken smiled. He couldn't help the emotions filled his face and eyes.
"Di... Di tumhe tumhari azaadi... Main tumhe ab aur ,is rishte me qaid nahi rakh Sakta.. Tum ab azaad ho... Mujhse.. is bojh bhare rishte se jisme tumhara dum ghuta hai.. kardiya tumhe azaad mere zabardasti ki Mohabbat se.. ( I gave you.. gave you your freedom.. I can't cage you anymore in this relationship.. you are free now ... from me .. and from this burdensome relationship .. in which you feel suffocated.. I set you free from my forced love)" he said in low tone and a tear escaped his eyes.
Hana felt a new fear crawling inside her. And her any fear infront of this fear was nothing. She felt a knots in her stomach and dread.
"Before I gave you three things but you just throw that things. That roses, that ring and my first salary... But I'm happy that now what I'm going to give you, you will accept this and will be happy to take this" saying this he placed that divorce papers at her palms.
"I signed it.. after your delivery you can submit this to the court and you will be free to live your life with the person who deserve you... Who can make you happy" hana felt all the air knock out of her. She was staring at that paper in her hand horrified. Hana lift her head and look at him with wide eyes.
"Your hate won... I'm leaving hana... From your life from this country so you can be happy in your life.. because I'm not strong enough to see you with someone else" he said and his pain clearly heard from his voice to hana.
"Don't think I'm here to change your mind or force you.. no! It's just that... I'm.. I'm tired hanu..." He looked at her with his tired and painful eyes and continue.
"Its not like that I cannot fight for you anymore cause I can... But yesterday I realised I'm fighting for the person who hates me.. who felt suffocated around me.. who wants me to let her go.." he paused and cupped her face.
"Main Puri duniya se tumhare liye lad Sakta Hun.. par meri Jaan Mai tumse ab aur nahi lad sakta (I can fight the whole world for you but my love I can't fight with you anymore) Knowing it would hurt you.. I can't" he said and saw a tear escaped her eyes. Shaking his head he wiped her tears.
"Don't waste your precious tears for the person like me who doesn't deserve this" he said and look down at her stomach before looking back at her.
"You know why I'm leaving before our baby's birth? Cause I couldn't leave you after seeing our baby... And maybe I will again become selfish and will try to cage you... Hanu What I did to you and to our baby I truly believe now that I don't deserve you both... And accepted that you both will be happy without me" he said and placed his hand on her stomach.
"Don't think that your papa doesn't love you... cause your papa loves you more than anything after your mama..." He gulped that burning sensation but still couldn't hold his tears back and let that fall freely.
"Hanu... Can you please do me a favor? Please never told my child that his/her father was a bad guy.. and tell our baby that I love him/her. and..." He stopped again gulping his tears as it become difficult for him to speak.
"...and please.. please let me meet my child if I... I ever come here again" he begged and took his lips between his teeth to hold back his sob. While hana was sat there numb. She didn't know what was happening.
"And please give this to our baby... It will make me feel that in some way I'm with my child" he said and took out their wedding locket which hana gave it back to him. Placing it on her hands he grabbed her hands and place a soft kiss on her hands but didn't let go of her hand and put it on his forehead breathing heavily. Praying that time would stop and he can sat there till his last breath holding her hands. But time has to pass right. It won't Stop for anyone, no matter if someone will die in the next second. If someone will got their whole world in the next second. It depends on our fate what we got in the next second. Happiness or pain. And rahmaan knew pain will written on his fate.
"Okay now I should leave... My flight is in few hours" he said after sometime and stood up. But couldn't take steps back and again fall on his knees and without wasting a second he pulled her in tight hugged.
"Please let me kiss you hanu one last time please" he pleaded and hana felt his tears in her neck. Pulling her back he stare at her face to see any rejection but couldn't see nor hana said anything so without any control he took her face in his hand and pulled her to the one last kiss he would live with.
He Kissed her slowly while pouring his love.. like savoring this moment in his heart and mind.. And for the first time hana felt his kiss wasn't a intimate or lust but a pure love. He kissed her with all his heart eventhough hana didn't response but he can sense her consent in it. Pulling back he started kissing her face. Her forehead her eyes cheeks nose and peck her lips one more time. Tear didn't stop falling from his eyes which caused Hana's face wet as well with his tears. And till now he become complete hiccups mess. Making her heart stopped their beats.
"I love you... I...i lov..love you so... so.. damn much... That's why I...i want to request on...one more thing... It's our end... It's our end hana so Please forget me... an..and move on and be hap... Happy in your life" saying this he bend to her stomach and placed linger kiss on her baby bump mumbling "papa loves you" before he could feel how hard his baby kicked he stood up and walked out of her room taking his incomplete love dreams and soul. Hana only gasp and placed her hands on her stomach as she felt her baby's kicked.
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He met his mother who was crying miserably and begging him to not to leave them but with the help of his father he make her understand. And after hugging kissing her forehead he took his suitcase and turned to leave. But stopped seeing marziya and muneeb.
Smiling he walked to them. Stopping in front of marziya he joined his hands infront of her.
"I'm so sorry for everything aapi... I never meant to hurt anyone but I eventually did..." He paused chuckling dryly " I hope you forgive me eventhough my sins isn't forgivable but still I hope you will forgive your stupid cousin. Whom you loved ones as your little brother" he waited for marziya to say something but marziya didn't said anything she kept stare at him.
Sighing he turned to muneeb. He almost felt his heart rip out of his chest as he realised after him muneeb will be the one who will get his baby, hana and her love. Gulping his painfull screamed which wanted to rip out of his mouth he smiled.
"Sorry muneeb for that day" he said looking down for second before looking at him. For some reason he doesn't want to see his face but again he got nothing what he want except a memories. A beautiful loveable memories he got from hana that will be reason for him to live.
"I'm giving you my two precious love ones.. my baby and my hanu... hope you will make them happy.. don't ever hurt my hanu muneeb.. or you know that beast rahmaan still in me." He said smiling a little with small threatened. Muneeb also didn't said anything. Rahman hug him taking muneeb off guard.
"Please muneeb use khush rakna... Bahot dards bardasht Kiya hai usne ab aur nahi... ( Keep her happy ... she has endured a lot of pain and she can't endure anymore) never think that I will come back to you or Hana's lives cause I won't. And.. if you ever felt that my child is coming between you and Hana's happiness than please don't hesitate to tell this to mama.. she won't ask you both anything and will tell me and I will come to take my baby.. but please don't neglect my child" he pleaded pulling back and abruptly turned to to door to leave to hide his tears. but muneeb voice make him stopped.
"Didn't hana say anything... Didn't she stop you?" Rahmaan blinked few times and turned on this and stare for few seconds before smiling sadly.
"I've already lost that... She might be in peace right now and that's what I want.. her happiness" saying this he went out of the house While wiping his tears. Taking his broken heart and soul with him he left from there.
And walked toward his new destination where only pain would waiting for him. Where no one will his. Not his family, not his baby, not his hanu.
The end
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Haw was that?
Okay don't think I'm cruel... Cause I'm also crying here😭
Finally he left her. Maybe some of you think he should fight but guys how long we can fight if we won't get any positive response. And with whom he was fighting,? the girl who created that impression on him that she love to see him in pain... She desperately wanted to be free from him. So there will be our mind and heart can give up. Sometimes For the one whom we love we have to give up for their happiness. That's what he did.
So tell me what you want to say about this chapter.?
And if you guys haven't check out my new story unknowingly halal (lawful) then please give it a try. It will be amazing ( Inshallah) guys trust me ☺️
Love you all ❤️