So this chapter is longer than most and there is a reason for that and I will tell you at the end of the chapter
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I watch the clock closely, I'm waiting to get out of the nurses office. After my 'fit' I was sent here, I don't know what for. It's not like the nurse can help me, I'm just the fucking crazy kid who was shouting at the blackboard. "Alex you have been requested in the music room. Once you're are done there, you are required to go home for the safety of the students and staff." The nurse explains, I nod meekly and shuffle from the room grabbing my bag in the process.
People are watching me like I'm some sort of mad man. I guess I am, I see and hear things that aren't there. I talk to people only I can see. It's obvious why people think I'm crazy. I sigh and bow my head, moving silently through school. I sit in the back of music and wait for the room to fill with students. Jack walks up to me cautiously and kisses my forehead before sitting in the seat next to mine. "Are you okay babe?" he asks taking my hand in his. I nod and look down at my knees. "Are you read to preform your song?"
"Yeah, I just want to get it over with, ya know?" I sigh and look up at him. "Then I'm going to get the help I need." He looks up at me, confusion laced into his doe brown eyes.
"Why does that sound like a goodbye Alex?" Jack asks. I look away from him to the back of the chair in front of me.
"Because it is Jack, it is a goodbye. I don't know how long I'll be gone, fuck I don't even know where I'm going. You'll forget about me Jack, you have to. I can't leave knowing that you won't move on. I want you to be happy. Maybe we'll meet again one day, but until then it will be goodbye." I smile sadly and move my hand out of his.
"Jack, Rian, Zach, Alex. You can do your project first as Alex has an appointment soon." The music teacher says as she comes into class. Her heels make an annoying noise as she walks, I don't understand how woman can walk in those death traps they call heels. I get up collecting one of the electric guitars on my past.
"This song is called Lullabies. It was written by Alex in memory of someone close to him that died." Jack explains before sitting on the stool next to mine. Zac and Rian set up their instruments.
"Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye
It could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home I'll find you..."
I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I fight to keep them back. Right now this song has two meanings, saying goodbye to Jack and Daniel. If I can hardly live without Daniel, how the fuck am I meant to survive without the love of my life?
"Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),
Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
By the end of the song the tears have spilled and I am avoiding eye contact with anyone. "That was very deep and emotional. You all get an A+ and you may leave now Alex." The teacher dismisses me. I nod, put the guitar back and grab my bag and rush from the classroom.
"Alexander William Gaskarth! Get your ass back here so I can kiss you to death before you leave!" Jack yells at me before our bodies collide and collapse on the ground. "I love you, you fucking asshole and if you think I'm just going to forget about you that easily then you are a stupid fucking idiot. Wherever you are I will visit you as often as possible and I will text you all the time and ring you, fuck I'll even write you fucking letters because that's how much I fucking love you!"
Jack. I-I think I love you too. I think I fell head over heels for you and I don't think I'd ever be able to live without you. I love you. I fucking love you." I hold him tightly. "Come home with me." I basically beg.
"Only for you." He says picking himself up then helping me up, no letting go of my hand after getting up. I smile to myself, I have the best boyfriend in the world but I have to end it before I go away. I hope he understands.
We get to my house and I am relieved to see no cars parked in the driveway, that means neither of my parents are home. I pull Jack around to the side of my house and start climbing the tree outside my bedroom window. "What's with you and trees?" Jack asks, his feet firmly on the ground still.
"What's up with you and talking under trees I'm in? It's the third time now." Jack looks so confused so I enlighten him. "The day I met you. I climbed my favourite tree after band practise. I fell asleep there and woke up to you talking to yourself."
"You've known for ages but you didn't back away, you got closer. You are the reason I am still here today." He says stunned. "You were there in my darkest time and I didn't even know." He smiles and starts climbing the tree. I stumble into my room, landing on my soft bed. "You don't know how much I love you Alex."
"I think I can guess." I smile and start to get up but Jack pushes me down and climbs onto me. His arms wrap around me as he snuggles in closer. "Jack, I want to give you something before I get shipped away."
"What's that?" he asks, a cute little grin pasted on his face. I brush his hair out of his eyes and just study his face, remembering all of its details.
I start blushing a dark red. "I want to give the boy I love my virginity." I whisper.
"Only if I can give the boy I love, mine." He smiles before kissing me lovingly. I deepen the kiss and start tugging on his shirt. He breaks the kiss briefly to take his shirt off and attaches our lips together again. "Are you sure you want this Alex?" I nod and strip myself of my t-shirt.
"I haven't been more sure of anything in my life." I breathe, my hands reaching for his hair. I bring his lips back to mine and force my tongue into his mouth. "Question. Who's topping?" I ask awkwardly. "I don't mind being the bottom or anything, but I want to top too."
"Um okay, I'll top this time, you can top next time." Jack says, stripping me of my shirt and starts placing kiss along my exposed collarbone. I must remember that I'm topping next time, if there is a next time. I groan as Jack starts nibbling on one spot on my neck. My pants are getting tighter and tighter, if I don't get out of them soon it's gonna get painful. As if Jack can read my mind he starts undoing my pants and pulls them down swiftly.
I feel exposed in only my boxers. Jack can see every single one of me scars and I don't like it. I feel like I need to cover myself up. "Alex you are beautiful, don't listen to the voices in your head, they are liars. Scars show how strong you are, that you have survived. No matter what anyone or anything says, you are beautiful and I love you." He whispers sweetly.
Jack's hands slip inside my boxers and he strokes me. I instantly reach for his belt, wanting to be able to touch him like he is touching me. He wriggles out of his jeans and boxers. Seeing him completely naked is a major turn on. It turns me on so much that I just want him in me. "Please Jack," I whimper, hoping he gets what I mean. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something or ask something. "Bottom draw next to you." I basically whisper. I feel coldness wash over me as he moves to my bottom draw. I pout at the loss of contact.
Jack's eyes scan over me as he stands up. He bites his bottom lip and breathes out heavily. "I know I just said this but fuck you are beautiful Alex, don't let anyone tell you differently and don't ever, ever think that you aren't." My blood runs through my veins like fire, and butterflies do flips within my stomach. No it's more like fucking somersaults.
Looking upon Jack Bassam Barakat's beautiful exposed Lebanese body is a breath taking experience and I could do it all day, but I have a little problem that needs tending to that is unsurprisingly in my boxers. "Yeah, yeah I'm beautiful, you're beautiful. Now hurry up and fuck me." I basically growl. Jack smirks at me, ever so slowly walks towards me. I groan in frustration and decide to speed this up a bit. I grab his wrist and force him down onto the bed and straddle him, and in the process I somehow manage to get my boxers off without even noticing.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" he asks, resting his hands gently on my hips.
"Yeah," I smirk a little awkwardly, "I've read enough gay fanfiction and been on Tumblr enough to know what I'm doing." Jack just shakes his head giving me a goofy grin.
"I find it sexy that you've done your research, but I'm in control today." He flips us over and positions himself between my legs. I shivered in delight at the thought that soon Jack would be filling me and making me feel great. "You know it's going to hurt, right? I really don't want to hurt you Lex." Fuck he is adorable.
"It won't hurt that bad babe. I want this, I really want this. You won't hurt me, I promise." I lightly kiss his nose and train kisses down his jaw. I start working on one part of his neck, sucking and biting. I hear the cap of the lube get flipped open and then one of his fingers push into me. It doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good either. I nod for him to move, which he does slowly and cautiously. I try not to roll my eyes at him but it just happens. I push back onto his finger making him get the hint that I wanted him to go faster. He speeds up and adds another finger which makes me gasp in pain. He stops moving. "Fuck don't stop, hurry up with this prep. I need you."
A shock wave of pleasure washes through my body as he curls is fingers. I moan and push down on his fingers, wanting more. "You like that huh?" he does it again making me moan louder. He starts to scissor his fingers which leaves a burning sensation but I don't mind. He pulls his fingers out and I whimper at the loss. I look at him to see him concentrating on rolling the condom down his duck. He looks so hot when concentration. He squirts some lube onto himself and spreads it out evenly. Seeing him touching himself is freaking sexy.
"Oh god." I groan, grasping at the sheets. He slowly slides all the way into me. He pauses and waits for my go ahead. It hurt so much but I'm not going to let him know that. I kind of like the pain. "You can move now." I breathe, my hands loosen on the sheets. He only moves slowly at first and it makes me frustrated because I want it faster and harder. "F-faster." I moan. He slides in and out of me with ease. He changes his angle and starts pounding into one pot that has me moaning hysterically. Oh god Jack. Please . . . please," I moan, "harder!"
Jack grunts in response and pushes into me harder. "I'm c-close Alex. I'm close." He moans into my ear, his breath tickling my neck.
I feel a familiar warmth pooling in my stomach. "S-same, touch me p-please Jack." His hand trails sown my stomach to my urgent problem that needs attention immediately. Jack takes me in his hand and flicks his wrist to the same rhythm of his thrusting.
"I love you Alex." He moans and stalls inside me, coming to a release. He continues stroking me until I shoot my load onto my stomach with a loud moan.
"I love you too, and that's why we can't be together anymore." I sigh.
"I know. You are really tight." He comments as he pulls out of me.
"And you are so big." I smirk back
"No need to tell me, I know." He giggles, and lays down next to me. I sigh and look into his eyes and all I see is pain. "So I guess this is goodbye." He says sadly.
"No. this is goodbye for now, I believe we will meet again." I smile sadly, tears threatening to escape my eyes.
"Goodbye for now." He says and then he's gone. Tears spill and all I can do is cry, I can't even calm down. What if I don't ever see Jack again? What if he doesn't remember me or I don't remember him?
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Hey guys so the announcement I have is that this story is over. Thank you for reading it and check out my other stories if you haven't already.
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