Atmosphere's P.O.V:
I blankly stared at the colorless wall as I felt every emotion at once, but somehow at the same time I couldn't feel any of them. And I can't explain to you how that is possible.
"Here." A soft voice spoke as a small teal mug was placed in front of me.
"Thank you." I whispered, "But I don't like tea."
"I know." She lightly giggled, causing me to eye her, "It's apple juice." She whispered with a sweet wink.
"Oh." I mumbled before taking a small sip of it.
"As your friends try looking for the key, I wanted to know if I could talk to you about some personal stuff?" The witch asked.
"Sure." I said as I set the cup down.
"Yesterday, I never really got to explain myself about what I saw or heard about you, Atmosphere." She paused, taking in a deep breath, "There's something surrounding you... something dark."
"Don't have to tell me that, I already know." I sighed as I shook my head.
"But do you truly know?" She questioned me.
"What do you mean?" I eyed her.
A deep sigh left her thin lips, " I know you had a terrible upbringing. Father was an abusive alcoholic..."
I quickly cut her off, "How do you know this?" I questioned her.
"You can learn a lot about a person's past just by looking at them. The way they react to the smallest things or how they carry themselves." She explained, "You are a strong and beautiful young woman, but you're letting your past destroy your future."
"I don't have a future." I mumbled.
"Everyone has a future, Atmosphere." She said, "You are just stuck in this bad headspace..."
"Why are you telling me this?" I questioned her, with a hint of anger in my voice, "Like, why?!"
"Because I need to." She whispered, "Before you even got here, I had this feeling about you. And the funny fact is that I didn't even know you existed prior to meeting you. But you have this energy that's rare. What I mean by that is that you bring a light wherever you go."
"How can I be a light when I'm constantly surrounded by darkness?" I asked.
"That's what sucks about being the light sometimes. You're always too busy trying to be the light for everyone else's darkness that you let yourself be consumed by your own."
A deep sigh left my lips this time, "I don't know."
"You know that it's okay to be there for yourself first, right?" She asked.
"I just don't like doing that though." I admitted, "I feel selfish."
"Don't feel selfish." She said, "Remember, you have to put yourself first before anyone else, because they would do the same thing for themselves and you already know that."
My glossy eyes wandered over to my friends, "But." I whispered, my voice cracking.
"I'm not saying this is for no reason whatsoever. I'm saying this, because the brokenness that you feel inside is starting to show on the outside. No matter how much you try to hide it with that fake smile, it would always show." She said, almost warning me.
"I don't want to be broken anymore." I choked as my dark eyes met hers, "But I don't know who I am without it."
"You're afraid of losing the feeling, because that is the only thing that has ever been permanent in your entire life, correct?"
"Yeah." I answered weakly.
"Well, sometimes in life you have to lose everything, even the things that you don't want to lose in order to find who you are... who you are supposed to be in life." She explained.
"How do I do that?" I asked.
"When I say lose everything, I mean it." She said as she rested her hand on top of mine, "Go closer to the moon and talk to it again like you used to. Let Mother Nature hear your cries, and let her heal you for real this time."
I stared at her in disbelief, "How do you know about the moon?" I whispered.
"Like I said before, you can learn a lot about someone just by looking at them."
"I tried healing before, but life keeps testing..."
"Let it test you. Let it throw everything at you. It only does that, because it knows how strong you are." She said.
"But I'm not strong." I quietly whimpered, "I don't get why people keep saying that?!"
"Because we see what you are refusing to see." She whispered.
"Do you think I will ever have a happy life or ending?" I asked even though I knew she couldn't give me a truthful answer.
"People like you deserve more than just that, but I promise you things will get better." She reassured me, "You just need to keep moving forward, one step at a time."
"Okay." I breathed, "I will."
"When you get back home, I want you to get as close as you can to the moon and talk to it. Ask it one or twenty questions, I don't care. Just know that you will get the answer you always needed to hear, not wanted to."
"But..."
"Atmosphere, just please don't forget to ask it that one important question." She whispered, almost begging me.
"How do you..."
"Do I really have to explain myself again?" She asked, a weak smile tugging on her lips.
"No." I whispered, "But I will."
An awkward cough left someone's lips from behind us, interrupting our deep conversation.
"We couldn't find the key." Sam sadly announced.
"I'm sorry you guys." She apologized even though she didn't need to.
"It's okay." Sam sighed, "Thanks for letting us check though."
"No problem."
"We are going to be heading out now." Colby said, causing me to stand up from my seat.
"Thanks for helping take care of my cut." I thanked her again.
"No problem." She smiled, "You're lucky I had those butterfly closures."
"Yeah, thank God." I giggled lightly.
"Before you go..." She trailed off as she pulled out a small rock that was colored a dark green with a hint of bloody red, "This is a Bloodstone. It will help you with the healing process." She explained before handing it to me."
"Thank you." I whispered before pulling her into a tight hug.
"You take care of yourself now, Atmosphere." she whispered into my ear, but it was audible to the others.
"I will as long as you do the same."
"I will." She reassured with a warm smile.
The guys and I slowly made our way back to the car. As the boys discussed what the plan was for now, I couldn't help but stare at that beautiful rock the witch had gave me. It given me a warm feeling inside along with a sense of hope. A sense of that things will get better.
"What did you guys talk about?" My best friend asked which shook me from my thoughts.
"Just about life." I whispered before hiding my rock in my hoodie pocket.
"Just life?" He asked, eyeing me.
"Yup, just about life." I repeated as my eyes wandered over to the rear view mirror.
Colby was staring back at me with an emotionless expression which could be because he was tired, or because it was much more than that. And I think we will find out sooner rather than later, why the boy I'm madly in love with is losing his way with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our walk down the steep hill and back into the pitch black forest wasn't fun. It was terrifying every step we took, but it was even worse once we had seen what had happened to our campsite. The top of the tent was blown over and certain items look like they were messed with. I thought maybe it was because of the storm, but the others thought that either a human being or spirit messed with it.
As we all crawled back into the spaceless tent, I honestly didn't know where to go. I feel like I didn't belong in this group anymore especially after the way I acted back in the car. I shouldn't have said the things I said and I think I owe them all an apology.
"I want to apologize to you guys." My voice cracked as I tried speaking to them, "I'm sorry for what I said back in the car. I don't hate you guys, I honestly love you all. I just need to, maybe, step aside for a little bit and try to figure myself out."
"Atmosphere, you don't have to apologize, and you don't have to push yourself away from us." Corey said.
"I need to heal from what or who actually hurt me in life, because I don't want to bleed on people who didn't cut me." I explained as I wiped away a tear from my cheek, "And you guys didn't cut me, so I don't want to hurt you guys anymore."
"Atmosphere." Jake's voice cracked as he pulled me into a tight hug.
I didn't really react to his warm embrace. I just laid my head on his shoulder and blankly stared at the rest of the guys. They seemed to notice the lack of emotion that I had in me, even if they did hear that crack in my voice and saw the tears roll down my face. I was losing the internal war that was going on inside me and it was finally showing.
Jake forced me to stay over on his side, and I honestly didn't want to put up a fight with him, because I didn't have any energy to. He seemed to want me more than my boyfriend at the moment. So, I was fine with that. Well actually, I wasn't.
I was snuggled into Jake's chest, because of the lack of sleeping bags the boys had brought. And Jake's body was providing enough heat for me to stay warm. He finally dozed off while I tried to as well, but I couldn't sleep while the other three continued to talk about what had gone down tonight.
"I think this is gonna be my last video doing something like this." Corey said.
"Wait, you're not coming back?" Colby asked him.
"No." He sighed, "Not for y'all haunted stuff."
"Like even the hotel stuff?" Sam questioned him, "Like, we don't have to go to a forest."
"The last time we went to a hotel, we did a séance." Corey reminded them, "And you guys know I don't mess with that, and neither does Atmosphere." He mentioned me, and instead of saying anything, I pretended that I was asleep, "Like, whatever opens me up to the other side I want nothing to do with that." He added, "Like, look how bad it's affecting Atmosphere, guys. It's literally reminding me of when I was younger, and I don't think I'm gonna allow her to come on these trips anymore either."
"But she chooses to come..."
"No, she doesn't." Corey cut Colby off, "Dude, ever since the Stanley Hotel, Atmosphere was able to open up to me more and... she only comes for us, especially for you two." He explained, "She tells me how afraid she is every time you two go on these types of trips or have us tag along with you guys. She's worried about you guys, when she shouldn't be at all."
"I didn't realize that before." Sam whispered.
"She loves you guys a lot, especially you, Colby. But she's going through some personal things and I have been trying to be there for her, but she needs you, Colby. She needs her boyfriend."
"I-I've just been so busy lately, and..."
"No ones truly busy, Colby." He sighed at the fact that his friend used that poor excuse, "We make time for the people we love no matter what."
"You know me, man." Colby whispered, "I've just never been good with love and I don't know how to..."
"Can't use that excuse forever, brother." Corey said, "Don't lose her, Colby. She's the best thing to have ever happened to you and if you lose her..."
"I lose everything." He choked, finishing Corey's comment.
"I mean what I said when I'm gonna talk to Atmosphere about not going on these trips anymore with you guys." He said, "Because she needs to get better." He added.
"What else has she been telling you lately?" Colby asked, "It's just cause she never tells me anything anymore."
"It's cause you're never home anymore, Colby." He told him the cold hard truth, something I have not been able to say for awhile now, "But she will never really tell you that, because she loves you. And she doesn't want you to ever choose her over anyone or anything else."
"I need to talk to her." Colby whispered.
"Yeah, you do." Corey agreed with him, "Do it before it's too late."
"I will." He promised him,
"And I'm sorry for leaving this group, but I need to." Corey added.
"Maybe we took it too far this time." Sam whispered, realizing what I had warned him and the others about at the Stanley Hotel was now becoming his worst living nightmare.
"But I still want to keep doing this." Colby said, "Especially as a group." He added.
"But maybe Atmosphere was right about what she said back at the Stanley Hotel." Sam said, "What if one day this catches up to all of us, and we lose our sanity or even our lives, because of it?"
"I mean I believe her, because she hasn't been wrong about anyone or anything from the moment I met her." Corey said, "And especially how the people we met this far, who fuck hard-core with the supernatural world, who say the same thing about Atmosphere. We need to trust her more, guys."
"I feel like she is the light in our group." Colby whispered, "And I know that sounds crazy, because she's literally surrounded by darkness. But she does keep us from steering away from reality."
"Well if she is our light..." Corey's voice trailed off as I felt his dark eyes latch on me, "She can only be the light for so long until she burns out."
The sound of something tapping away on a metal pot towered over the harsh rain, which caused all the boys to silence themselves until the tapping stopped.
"Dude!" Colby gasped.
"The pot!" Corey whispered harshly.
I listened to the three boys as they stumbled out of the tent and over to where the noise was coming from.
I slowly lift my head up and turn my body slightly, seeing that the tent was completely unzipped and those boys were nowhere in sight.
Warm liquid rolled down my lips and dripped off of my chin. I gently touched it and brought my fingers in front of my eyes. I tilted my head slightly and examined my own dark blood on the tips of my fingers. I was having a random nosebleed. My first one since that last night at the Traphouse.
A bright light shines onto my face, causing me to squint my eyes and hover my bloody hand over my face.
"Atmosphere?!"
"Oh, fuck!"
"I guess I will never get better." I whimpered, "I guess I will never get better."
***** Author's Note *****
Hey buddies!
Thank you all for the sweet messages and comments, and overall for always being there for me.
Sorry that it took me forever to post this chapter, but I finally got a day off from work so I was able to edit and publish this chapter.
Remember we are only six chapters away from the end of Player 3.0 and I can't wait.
Love you all,
Ash