This is how you remind me of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've been wrong
I've been down
Into the bottom of every bottle
- How you remind me by Nickleback
Chapter 6 - This is how you remind me
A few days later Mickey wanted to go out in the evening. Before he had started blackmailing Ian, he had often gone to clubs and bars and then had tried to shake Ian and go to the gay clubs he actually had wanted to go to. This time he took him with him and made him wear normal clothes.
"You won't be able to escape me, Mickey, we both know that", Ian informed him while they walked down some streets.
"I know Gallagher, I'm taking you with me to my favourite club."
"Really?"
"Yeah", he led Ian to a parking lot, "You drive"
"Where the fuck is this club?"
"On the other side of the city.", Mickey shrugged and threw the car keys to him.
They got into the car and Mickey tipped the address of the club into his phone so it could lead Ian to a parking lot nearby.
"How do you expect us to get back home if we go to a club now and drink?"
"I guess one of us has to stay sober", Mickey shrugged, "Or we sleep in the car tonight, but I wouldn't recommend that in this neighbourhood.
They finally arrived and got out of the car. "Hidden Car in a hidden parking lot to another hidden parking lot to a hidden club, you really make some effort."
Mickey nodded, "I change club and car in an asynchronous rhythm, too. So, you won't get sober Mickey tonight, Gallagher, I don't make this effort for nothing."
"So, I have to stay sober?"
"I'm sure you can have a drink now, it's still early. But if you plan on fucking me on the toilet tonight, you shouldn't get wasted anyways, can't risk the whiskey dick."
"Who says I plan to do that?"
Mickey looked at him with raised eyebrows, "You sayin' you don't want this tonight?"
Ian looked him up and down and got a good look on his ass, he was wearing tight jeans and a black, tight top.
"No, I'm saying maybe I plan to fuck you right on the dance floor."
Mickey smirked at him, "Maybe I would even let you, you look fucking hot without the suit."
"You like the suit.", Ian smiled, "You sometimes make me keep on the tie while fucking you."
Mickey chuckled, "You look fucking hot with it."
They reached the club and soon enough had their first drinks and a shot or two down.
Mickey wasn't much of a dancer, usually he just sat around, had a drink and watched hot guys dancing, until someone bought him a drink and he ended up fucking someone in the bathroom.
But Ian forced him on the dancefloor.
"No, I'll stay here and watch you dance, Gallagher, bet that looks fucking hot."
"Forget it", Ian said and took his hand to pull him with him, "I'm your bodyguard, I have to stay close to you at all times."
Mickey chuckled and Ian started moving his body to the beat of the music, pressing their bodies as tightly as possible together. Mickey mirrored Ian's so called "dancing" which pretty quickly was just them grinding against each other.
Mickey kept doing shots between the songs and made out with Ian at the bar.
Eventually Ian got a phone call and had to stop kissing Mickey.
"You won't be able to hear anyone on the phone anyways" Mickey said close to his ear, "Just ignore it."
"Can't ignore it, it's my sister. I'll be right back, can I leave you alone for five minutes, babes?"
"Don't call me that, it'll make me want to run away."
"You secretly like it", Ian grinned at him.
The Gallagher got up and headed in the direction of the bathrooms.
Mickey checked him out while he walked away and then ordered another drink.
It didn't take long for someone taking the spot beside him and starting to flirt. Usually Mickey would be up for it, it would have been the moment he had been waiting for all evening, but today he didn't feel like hooking up with anyone besides Ian.
"Hey, handsome", the guy said, Mickey couldn't see much of his face due to the flickering lights creating deep shadows on his face, he had dark hair and an ugly nose, Mickey could tell, "I've been watching that sexy ass all night long. Would like to take it for a test drive"
Mickey pulled a face upon hearing this weird pick up line.
"If you've been watching all night, then you must have noticed that I already have someone throwing compliments my way for the night."
"But he's gone now"
"He's coming back in a minute"
"I wouldn't bet on that, every thirsty bottom queen has been all over him since you came in."
"So, you're saying that my ass is hot enough for you but not to hold him?", Mickey turned to the man.
"He's playing in another league than you and me, sweet cheeks, he will try taking as many twinks as possible tonight. Why be one of many for him if you can be mine for the whole night?"
"Oh yeah?", Mickey asked, he raised his fist and was about to punch the man in the face for insulting him like this, when a hand pulled his wrist back.
"What's going on?", Ian asked, the ginger Looked from Mickey to the other man, "Who are you?"
"This douchebag thinks I'm not hot enough to hold you for the whole night", Mickey growled.
Ian looked the douchebag up and down, " But you think you're attractive enough to even talk to him? Fuck off man"
Mickey smirked, "Yeah, tell him how hot I am"
"He's so fucking hot I'd rather fuck him the whole night than to get blown by every single queen in this club. Look around, every dude is jealous of me for being able to make out with him, including you. So, fuck off before I let him punch you."
The man finally left the bar and Ian pulled Mickey against his body and groped his ass.
"You should have let me punch him.", Mickey said.
"It's my job to make sure you don't do anything stupid that draws more attention to you than dry humping me on the dance floor, babe"
"I plan on doing much more than just dry humping. Now, restroom."
"Mick, you don't really want to fuck there, I just went there for a phone call and even for that it looked too filthy."
"But I'm horny", Mickey pushed him against the bar kissed his neck to whisper in his ear, "I want your cock in me, now, Gallagher. Or do I have to look for someone else to shove their dick up my ass?"
Ian sneaked his arms around Mickey and groped his ass.
"It's a fantastic ass", Ian said, "So fucking tight and perfect."
"Exactly, do you really want to miss out on that?"
"No, but I want to miss out on the ten diseases I get from just looking at that bathroom."
"This would be so much easier if I'd still blackmail you", Mickey sighed. Ian laughed.
"Come, have another drink, dance with me and I promise, I'll fuck you in the car. Sound good?"
Mickey pulled back and looked at him, "Alright, but you better fuck me good then, Gallagher."
"Don't I always?"
"Yeah you do", Mickey grinned and ordered two more shots.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ian helped Mickey getting to the car, it was two or three o'clock in the morning, Mickey was wasted.
Ian got him to the car, Mickey pushed Ian against the blue vehicle immediately and kissed him, "Fuck me", he said breathlessly while unbuckling Ian's belt.
"Wait", Ian tried to catch Mickey's hands, but the Milkovich just laughed and kept undoing his pants, "Mick, wait, hey", he caught his wrists and held them up, "You're too drunk."
Mickey rolled his eyes, "Fuck it, you promised"
"Mick, I'm not gonna fuck you when you're barely able to stand.", Ian said calmly.
"Lie me down and take me, problem solved.", Mickey smirked and kissed him again.
Ian chuckled against his lips. He pushed him away from him again, "I'd love to fuck you, you know that, but you'd either pass out during it or puke on my dick. I bring you home and put you to bed."
"And then fuck me in the bed?"
"No", Ian grinned, "Come on, you had enough fun for one night."
Mickey wanted to disagree, but suddenly felt sick, quickly turned away, stumbled a few steps and threw up away from the car.
Ian only pulled a face for a second then he started laughing. He took off his flannel (he had another t-shirt underneath it) and walked up to Mickey, "You okay, Mick?"
"Sure, fine, fuck"
"Still in the mood to fuck?"
Mickey spit on the ground and stood up straight again, he stumbled slightly. Ian caught him and let him lean against him, he used his flannel to wipe over Mickey's mouth.
"Let's get you home, babe.", he mumbled. Mickey just groaned in response and clutched the flannel to his chest.
Ian put him in the car and drove them home slowly, so Mickey wouldn't get sick again. He helped Mickey out of the car and brought him home, Mickey leaned against him and almost fell over a few times.
Ian eventually made it to bring Mickey up to his room unseen by anyone. In Mickey's room he undressed the Milkovich and made him lie down, he tugged him in and kissed his cheek.
"Stay here", Mickey mumbled.
"I can't, I have a meeting with Mr Field in the morning."
Mickey looked up to him, "You remind me of Dimitri", he whispered, his voice was slightly slurred.
Ian raised his eyebrows and kneeled down next to the bed to look him in the eyes.
"He was a good person, too. Didn't deserve to die. He didn't even have anything to do with the drugs... he worked in the kitchen", his lips tugged into a small smile of remembrance, "He took care of me, too. When I got high, he gave me as much food as I wanted and when I got drunk in the kitchen, he brought me back to my room."
Ian smiled and ran his hand through Mickey's hair, "Go to sleep, babes.", he whispered and kissed his cheek again, Mickey still held Ian's flannel to his chest, as if it was a stuffed animal he wanted to cuddle.
He left the room and sighed.
Mickey was amazing, he was a good person in Ian's eyes. He was a sad and scared man, traumatized by his dad in so many ways and Ian wanted nothing more than to help him, love him... fix him.
But the more Mickey talked about Dimitri the more Ian understood that Mickey must still be in love with Dimitri. And while Ian started having feelings for Mickey, this was undeniable, he was afraid Mickey would only project his feelings for Dimitri on him, if he ever would acknowledge having any feelings for Ian at all.
He wasn't Dimitri. Dimitri was dead. Ian and Mickey had made much more than Mickey had ever done with Dimitri so why was it that man that was on Mickey's mind all the time?
He felt the fear of rejection creeping up on him. He shuddered, the hallway felt much colder than it did when he walked down it with Mickey a few minutes ago.
When he looked into Mickey's blue eyes, he saw all the things that made Mickey beautiful, his good nature, his yearning for romance and a random love. When he kissed Mickey, he could only feel Mickey, felt the wish to be as close as possible to him for as long as he could. When he saw him being sad, he wanted to hold him and comfort him, he wanted to protect him from the cruel world he was living in.
When Mickey looked at Ian, what did he see? When he kissed him, what did he feel? Did he see his first teenage love? Did he see the man he could have fallen in love with if he had more time, if he hadn't been killed? Did he feel like Dimitri came back for him? Did he see Ian for Ian at all? Or did he just keep looking for similarities between Ian and Dimitri?