Stay out of the light
Or the photograph that I gave you
You can say a prayer if you need to
Or just get in line and I'll grieve you
Can I meet you, alone
Another night and I'll see you
Another night and I'll be you
Some other way to continue
To hide my face
- I never told you what I do for a living by My Chemical Romance
Chapter 4 - I never told you what I do for a living
A few weeks later.
Ian watched Mickey doing some coke and didn't dare to comment on it. "You're staring at me", Mickey grinned while smoking a cigarette.
"I'm just making sure you don't die of an overdose.", Ian said, standing between the door and the couch.
Mickey laughed, "You're silly. Silly Gallagher come here.", Mickey tabbed his foot on the other edge of the couch, Ian sat down, and Mickey held the cigarette out to him, Ian shook his head. Mickey scooted over to him, so he sat on his knees next to him, "Just a cigarette, no drugs, come on, as if you never smoked before."
"I try to stop.", he looked him in the eyes.
"Good, consider this your last hit, then", Mickey said lowly and bit his bottom lip, he brought his cigarette up to Ian's lips.
The Gallagher leaned to him and took a drag from the cigarette while maintaining eye contact with Mickey. He inhaled and then blew out the smoke, Mickey watched him, nodding slightly and finally kissing him deeply. Ian sneaked his arm around Mickey's waist and Mickey crawled into Ian's lap, sitting on him on the couch.
"Fuck babe", Ian whispered, "You're so hot"
Mickey took a drag of the cigarette again and blew the smoke out towards the ceiling, "Don't call me babe, freckles"
"Why not?"
"Cos I'm not your babe", he kissed him again, playfully, took his lip between his teeth, released it again and grinned at him, "I want to play a game"
"Mickey says?"
"Different game"
"Okay, what game?"
"Truth and Dare. But it's unfair that you're not high."
"Don't you mean truth or dare?"
"No", Mickey shook his head, "Truth and Dare. You always gotta choose one in turns. Truth then dare. Truth: I get to ask a question and you have to answer truthfully. Dare: I dare you to take a piece of clothing off and you gotta."
"What if I don't want to answer a question? Do I have to take a shot or something?"
"You have to do a line", Mickey pointed his head to the drugs on his couch table.
"I'm not doing coke, Mick"
"Then you have to answer every question I suppose", Mickey said and licked over his lips, "I want to get high with you, I bet it would be fucking hot, having sex with you on a few drugs."
Ian shook his head, "You can get high and I will look after you, can't look after you if I get high too, right?"
Mickey looked down at him and smiled, "Right. Safekeeper.", he got down from him and lay on the couch again, his legs over Ian's legs.
"If you don't want to answer a question, I put one piece of clothing back on."
Ian smiled and rubbed Mickey's leg, "Okay, I'm game. Who starts?"
"I'm the boss, so I start. You choose, Truth or Dare?"
Ian put one arm on the backrest of the couch, "Dare."
"Take off your jacket. God knows why you always have to wear that fucking suit."
"It's kinda the uniform for bodyguards", Ian took his jacket off, "Now my turn?"
Mickey nodded.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth"
"Why do you want to play this game?"
"Because I like seeing you naked", Mickey grinned, "And I like knowing shit about people. Now, Truth: Why do you move like a soldier?"
Ian raised his eyebrows, "Do I?"
"Yes, it's the first thing I noticed about you. Move like military."
Ian smiled, "I always wanted to be a soldier growing up. Did ROTC and shit."
"Why didn't you become a soldier then?"
"I'm not entirely familiar with the rules, but I think you can only ask one question and it's my turn."
Mickey rolled his eyes.
"I dare you to take your shirt off."
Mickey gave him the cigarette to hold and took his shirt off, "Seems a bit unfair to me", he said, "I dare you to take your shirt off."
Ian started unbuttoning his shirt, "Actually, no, I'll do that", Mickey said, stubbed the cigarette out and sat on Ian's lap again, he started unbuttoning the shirt slowly, he pushed the shirt from Ian's shoulders and ran his hands down his pale body and the tattoo of an eagle with a gun on his ribs.
"Is there more to the story with you and this Dimitri?", Ian asked, Mickey stopped his hands and took them back from Ian's body.
He bit his lip, "No."
"You gotta say the truth Mickey, otherwise the game doesn't have a point."
"There's nothing more to it than what I told you. He worked for us, I wanted him, he wanted me, he sucked me off, jerked me off a couple of times. Then my dad found out that he was gay and had him killed."
"You had feelings for him?"
"Only one question, Gallagher.", Mickey said and got down from him, sitting back on his side of the couch, "Why didn't you become a soldier?"
"I was needed home. Couldn't leave my family. Let me take your jeans off."
Ian unbuttoned Mickey's jeans and pulled them down from the Milkovich, running his hands up and down his naked legs.
"Take your pants off", Mickey said, "Slowly."
Ian got up and slowly opened his pants up and pushed them down. Mickey watched him with a smug smile, "Yeah, that's good", he whispered.
Ian stood in front of him half naked, looking down at the equally naked man on the couch, and yet decided to ask: "Did you have feeling for him? Dimitri?"
Mickey's smile fell, "I told you we barely ever talked...", he lit up a new cigarette.
Ian took his shirt from the couch and put it back on.
"The fuck are you doing?"
"You're not being honest."
Mickey sighed, "Okay, fuck's sake, take that thing off and sit down, fucking prick.", after Ian sat down again, Mickey was close to change his mind, "I had feelings for Dimitri. Hard fucking feelings, teenage-boy-first-love feelings. Then his boyfriend found out about us and snitched to my dad and he killed him. Happy?"
Ian looked at him, "No", he said, "Not happy, I'm glad you told me though. Could you ever talk to someone about it?"
Mickey looked away from him, "It's my turn Gallagher.", he said, "Why are you here?"
"Sorry?"
"You're gay, you wanted to join the military, why on earth did you end up here?"
Ian bit his lips and looked at Mickey's legs, "It's my brother", he said, "His name is Carl. He works for your father, started off as a teenager, now runs drugs on bigger scales. My siblings worry about him, he didn't check in with us for a few months, said he would run some drugs over the border and that's the last thing we heard from him."
"You're here to find him.", Mickey said.
"Yes."
Mickey started smiling again, "You're a good person."
"Thanks"
"I'm not meeting a lot of good people in my life. I don't think I know one good person besides you."
"I think you're a good person.", Ian said sincerely.
Mickey shook his head, "I blackmailed you into blowing me, forgot that? Done it with lots of bodyguards before you too. I'm not a good person", he took a drag from his cigarette.
"I think you are. You have potential to be a good person, at least. More than most people. I think, in your heart, you're a good person."
Mickey shook his head, "The boy I loved got killed because of me, doesn't sound like a good person now, does it?"
"I thought you didn't love him."
"I might have, one day... with more time."
Ian smiled and leaned over to him and kissed his forehead.
"You might be the single best man I know, Mickey Milkovich.", he whispered and started kissing him slowly.
Mickey kissed him back, slowly, deep in memories, he was sad. He hadn't thought about Dimitri this much in years, didn't regret as much as he did now. But Ian was able to make him happier, and if even just the tiniest bit, by reminding him of Dimitri just enough to make it better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night they shared their stories was the first time Ian spent the night in Mickey's room, in his bed. They had slow, passionate sex and Mickey held on to him at night, not letting him go.
In the morning, Ian woke up with Mickey in his arms.
He was woken up by the alarm on his phone going off somewhere in the room. Mickey stirred in his sleep and turned around in Ian's arms, looking for more body contact and warmth.
Ian smiled at him and carefully pushed the man away, so he could get up and silence his phone again.
He looked back to the ridiculously big bed where Mickey lay, he looked peaceful, calm... cute.
Ian sighed while putting his suit back on, he had an hour before he had to be Mickey's bodyguard again.
"Where are you going?", a low voice came from the bed.
Ian smiled and went back to him, "Back to reality, Mickey. Work."
"Why? I won't get up for three more hours, why should you?"
"I don't know, babe"
Mickey smiled, "Don't call me babe, Army."
Ian grinned and kissed his forehead, "Go back to sleep."
Ian quietly left the room. He closed the door behind him, turned around and froze immediately.
In front of him stood Iggy Milkovich, Mickey's older brother, the second of the four children.
"Mr Milkovich, Sir", Ian quickly stood up straight, his heartbeat went out of control, panic started to spread through his body.
"Mr Gallagher, is it?"
"Yes, Sir", he said nervously.
"What were you doing in my brother's room at this hour? ... with a badly buttoned up shirt?", he observed while looking Ian up and down, the low hanging pants, the shirt being wrong buttoned and hanging out of the pants.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I was just...", he cleared his throat, "Your brother got high last night and I spent the night to...", he scratched the back of his head, "Make sure he is okay and doesn't overdose... or has a bad trip. I stayed on the couch after he allowed it."
Iggy looked at him, contemplating if he should believe him.
"Well, thanks, Mr Gallagher, he needs someone to look out for him. I heard, he hadn't been able to run away from you yet."
"That's correct, Sir."
"Good. Make sure it stays this way. We don't know where he is going, but he often comes back beaten up."
"I will do my best to keep him from being beaten up, Sir."
"Okay, that's your job. Be the first one to do it right, then I won't think further about you sleeping in my brother's room."
"O-Okay, Sir."
Iggy nodded and then left. Ian leaned against a wall and sighed deeply. He looked up at a corner where one of the security cameras hang. He wondered, if Angus Field sat behind those cameras right now, saw him coming out of Mickey's room and knew what they had been doing.
He shook the thought and quickly left the hallway.