Please VOTE if you like it!
Sidharth couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Misha. His eyes showed a mixture of all kinds of different emotions - sorrow, anger, love, loneliness, happiness and sadness too.
He didn't know what to do or what to say. He stood their, frozen and firm at his place. Was he supposed to say something or should he just stay there? He didn't know how to react.
Sidharth ke samne wo ladki khadi thi jisne pehle use bohot aasaani se pyaar karna sikhaya aur fir utni hi asaani se usse wahi pyaar cheen liya.
He just left the cafe without saying anything because he didn't know what should he say. He was feeling all kinds of emotions after the dance. He was meeting Misha after 8 months and he was touching her after 8 months. He was shocked beyond words and thus he just left the place. When he left, Shehnaaz came out of the background and saw Misha just looking towards the entrance and standing like a statue. Shehnaaz looked for Sid, but he was not there. Sana understood that Sidharth left without saying anything. She just pats Misha's back and ask her to go home and rest while she tries to calm down Sidharth.
Sana reaches Sid's place and calls her mother letting her know where is she. She slowly enters Sidharth's room without even making a slightest bit of voice. Sid's back was facing towards the door of his room and he doesn't need to look behind to know that Sana has entered his room. He waits for her to come to him and she does exactly that.
Sana soch rahi hai ki wo Sidharth ko ab kaise bulaye, agar wo gussa ho gya to? Par gussa hone wala kaam to kiya hi hai usne. Ab isse kaise manana hai uska Jawaab bhi Sana ko hi dhundhna padega.
Sana (thinking) - Hayeee Amma, No! Meine ni jaane iske paas, ye meri Jaan Le lega aur mujhe kachcha chaba jaega. Hayee, meri to abhi tak 12th class bhi complete ni huyi, meine abhi tak ek boyfriend bhi nhi bnaya. Hayeee ammaa, meri to abhi tak age bhi nhi hai upar baba ji ke paas Jane ki. Par ye to mujhe upar pohoncha hi dega.
Sidharth turns slowly to face Shehnaaz because it has been 10 minutes since she entered the room and she still hasn't spoken anything. He looks at her with so much intensity and sorrow. Wait! Shehnaaz didn't expect to see this look on his face, she imagined him to be super angry but he looked sad. She came towards him, this time more confidently and kept her hand on his back. A tear rolled down his left eye. It's said that if the first tear falls from your right eye then it's because of your frustration but if it rolls down from the left eye then it's because of how sad as a person you actually are.
Sana's stomach churned to see him in this situation and she mentally cursed himself for putting Sidharth through all this. Par ye sab zaruri tha kyunki agar Sana ye nhi karti to Sid aur Misha ko kabhi closure nhi mil pta. Sid suddenly felt anger rushing through his veins. His veins started popping out from his forehead and his arms. He was seething in anger. He bangs his hand on the glass table, causing it to break. Blood starts oozing from his left hand and Sana is shocked. She has never seen Sid so angry neither has she seen him harm himself no matter how angry he is. She kneels down in front of him and takes the first aid box from the drawer. She cleans the wound and applies ointment on it. Sid makes a hissing sound pointing towards the sting he felt due to the ointment. Sana blew air on his wound slightly while simultaneously applying medicine. She keeps the first aid box back on the table and takes his bandaged hand in her small hands; she then kisses above the bandage, soothing Sidharth. He feels much better after his angry break down and Sana's calming touch. He feels relaxed and opens his eyes to look at Sana. Sana grabs his face in her hands and then uses one of her hand to caress his hair softly while massaging his scalp simultaneously. He just closes his eyes. Sana makes him lie down on the bed and keeps on caressing his hair and forehead. After approximately 15 minutes, Sana hears soft snores and feels his breathing settle down in a stable manner, indicating that he has slept. She leans in to kiss his forehead but then moves back as instantly as she leaned down.
Sure she can calm him down and he is her best friend but she can not, she just can not kiss his forehead. She can not come more close to him than she already is otherwise she won't be able to take a step back and she needs to do that because he is not hers.
Shehnaaz came home and cried her hear out. She obviously couldn't cry in front of siddharth because he wouldn't have understood. Today, she was crying for herself. She lost something valuable but it's weird because she lost something which was never hers. How could she lose Sidharth when he was not hers? She was crying over something she didn't have and something that she will never have. She felt like crying a bit more. Shehnaaz couldn't even reach her bed. She was dying to cry and she couldn't do that in front of anybody, so the moment she entered her room and closed the door, she sat down leaning on the door, bringing her knees to her chest. She brought her knees as close to her chest as she could. It seemed like only her knees could protect her, when she put her head down on them and she almost immediately broke down. She cried like a maniac. It felt like she lost all her rights on Sidharth, but then again did she have any rights on Sidharth to begin with. Kya use Sidharth par kabhi bhi koyi haq tha? Nhi! To fir usne kya khoya? Kuch nhi! She didn't loose anything but that's the beautiful irony -
She lost nothing and everything in just an hour. For the first time ever, she felt like everything was over, she didn't have energy to get up and her loud cries now turned into soft sobs. She doesn't remember crying so much before that day. She never felt this exhausted in her life before. She felt emotionally drained and just wished to stay in those four walls of her room so that the walls can save her from what's awaiting her outside. She brought all this upon herself. If she hadn't gotten herself involved in all this, then she wouls still be the only girl who can come close to Sid. But how could she do do that? She didn't just like him, she loved him and it's supposed to be selfless and selfish at the same time. It is selfless because she can sacrifice all your happiness for that one person; and its selfish because the only thing that matters is that one person's happiness and you don't care about the whole world. So she did what she had to do, in order to make her love win. But did she win? She lost and won at the same time. Her love lost and won at the same time.
She didn't know what to do anymore so she just turned towards her diary which has become her best secret keeper from the time she started falling for him. She started writing -
Aksar log panne likh daalte hain,
Iss shaqs ke liye jinse wo mohobbat karte hain,
Ye panne bhar dete hain uss akelepan ko jise tum nhi bhar sakte.
Kuch isss trha shuru hua tha humara kissa,
Ki usse Sach manne mein kuch Waqt lagta,
Isiliye rukne nahi diya Humne qubool karne ka silsila,
Par tumhare samne ye qubool kaise karte,
Ki jaan se bhi zyada chahte hain tumhe aur Saari Duniya ko chodd sakte hain tumhare liye.
Tumhare liye chand taare todne ke waade to Hazaaron kiya karte honge,
Hum tumhare liye chaand banne ka waada karte hain,
Jiss trha sitare aasmaan mein chamakte hain,
Usi tra tumhari zindagi mei ek andhere ka katra bhi nhi aane denge.
Paas hoke bhi dur ho,
Apne hoke bhi gair ho,
Sab jante huye bhi Anjaan ho,
Na jante huye bhi sab jante ho,
Pyaar karte ho bohot Humse ye hum jante hain,
Par Ishq nhi karte,
Pyaar to bohot karte ho Humse,
Par mohobbat nhi karte.
Humari duniya to tumhe dekhte hi tham gyi thi,
Ab bhi wahin thami huyi hai,
Tumhe hasta hua dekh ke wo sukoon milta hai jiss sukoon ke liye hum puri duniya se ladd sakte hain,
Tum Hume samajh kar bhi nhi samajhte,
Par hum chahte bhi nhi ki tum Hume samjho,
Kyunki darte hain ye soch kar,
Ki humein jaan kar kahin Anjaan na bna do.
Humein lga ki shayad humari hi koshish mein koyi kami reh gyi hogi,
Par tum humare hokar bhi humare nhi,
Nahi samajh paye Humein,
Aur humare chote chote khwabon ko,
Nahi jaan paye tum Humein,
Aur shayad hum bhi samajh nhi paye tumhe,
Ki kyun nhi kar paye mohobbat Humse,
Kyunki Humne to puri shiddat ke sath mohobbat ki thi tumse,
Kyunki Humne to puri shiddat ke sath mohobbat ki thi tumse...
It's a super sad chapter and I know
that. I myself cried while writing about it. There is too much love and too many hearts involved.
Kisi ek ka dil to todna hi padega warna story aage kaise badhegi. Sana apna khud ka dil tod ri hai par kya pta aagey jake wo ho jo kisine nhi socha!
I know shayri shayad achchi nhi hai because
'Mein shayar to nhi, magar ae haseen
Dekha jabse mein tujhko, mujhko Shayari aa gyi'
(par meine abhi tak kisi ko dekha nhi jo dekhne layak ho, so shayri nhi aati 😂. Please bear with my failed attempt at writing the shayri)
Agar kisi ko by chance pasand aa gyi to comment mein praise kar sakte ho meri 😎😂.
Please read, VOTE and COMMENT. Keep showering your love.
I love you all and you all are my lovers 😂❤️