Chapter Twenty-Three
It was easy to get wrapped up in the bliss of summer.
One warm morning I dressed in a white, flowy sundress and an old pair of sneakers before riding my bike across town to surprise Jared at his apartment. I practically ran up the stairs, tapping a set of freshly painted nails against my thigh as I waited for him to answer the door. For a few seconds, I stood uselessly outside, wondering if he wasn't awake yet.
Thankfully, before my brain could slip into irrational thinking, hands slid around my waist from behind and pulled me up off my feet, familiar lips peppering my jaw with kisses.
"Put me down, Jared!" I giggled, kicking my legs.
He obliged, smirking when I turned to face him. His hair was stuck to his forehead and his cheeks were bright red. He was out of breath, shirtless, and standing in front of me looking wickedly sexy.
"You stink." I crinkled my nose for emphasis.
Jared gave an indifferent shrug. "I just ran five miles and it's summer, so I'm sweating."
I stepped back, making a face. "You need a shower."
"Is that a proposition?" He raised an eyebrow. "I would love to shower with you."
I shamelessly stole glances at his shirtless form when he wasn't looking at me. "I already took a shower this morning."
He scoffed as he fumbled for his keys. "Like that's ever stopped us."
When we got inside his apartment, he went into the kitchen and returned with a cold water bottle pressed to his forehead, another in his hand for me.
I took it gratefully. "I rode my bike here for you. In a dress, no less."
"I could have picked you up," he said. "I would have picked you up."
"I wanted to surprise you," I replied.
The way his face lit up melted me. People talk all the time about how women like romantic gestures, but I think that speaks true for anyone in a relationship. I didn't tell him that part of the reason I had been acting this way was that I felt like, at some level, I had failed him all those months ago. Obviously, he had taken me back, ready to offer me all the love in the world, yet I still felt like I owed it to him.
"Uh-oh," Jared said playfully, in between gulps of cold water. "You've got that thinking face on again. What are you thinking about, baby?"
Oh, just the fact that our sort of break-up has been bothering me for a long time. "Nothing really, just that I want to kiss you but you're all sweaty."
"I've kissed you when you were sweaty," he reminded me. "Ergo, I think you should just kiss me anyway."
"Take a shower," I said again. "I mean it."
He sighed before dragging his feet into the bathroom. I watched him disappear before settling on his couch, waiting.
A few minutes passed before he practically ran out of his room is nothing but his boxers, skin a little wet from the shower, smelling like soap and his shampoo.
"Can I kiss you now?" he asked, eyes wide.
I laughed before grabbing his forearm and pulling him down to the sofa. He pinned me under him, his touch lingering as his palms roamed over me. I was already filling with familiar heat, wanting him as the tension grew.
I kissed him firmly on the mouth, no longer patient enough to wait. He was sweet and slow with this kiss, one of his hands sliding up and down my thigh, just under the hem of my dress. I loved the feeling of his skin against mine, a new wave of warmth spreading throughout my body.
He pulled away, pecking me on the mouth again. Just a quick kiss. "I like the dress."
I pressed my mouth against his jaw, murmuring into his skin. "So take it off."
He shook his head. "No. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want to have sex with you right now."
I was obviously confused. "Your... phone begs to differ."
He ignored the comment. "It's my birthday," he blurted suddenly.
I sat up immediately. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm twenty-two today." He chewed on his bottom lip. "And so I wanted to take you up to my mom's place for the weekend and show you off. You can even meet my kid brother. I want them to get to know you. That's why I was gonna pick you up after my run."
"You want to go to Providence for the weekend?" I repeated slowly.
He nodded. "Yeah. I know it's short notice so you don't have to if you don't want to but I just figured—"
"I'd like to," I interrupted. "It's just that this came out of nowhere and I don't really know what to say. Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"
"I didn't want you to fuss over it," he answered.
"Of course I'm going to fuss over it. I care about stuff like this! I didn't get you anything, either and that's terrible—"
"I didn't get you a birthday present," he pointed out.
"We weren't even together," I argued.
"Whatever," he said dismissively. "This can be my present. Come to Rhode Island with me. Unless you don't want to. I won't make you if you don't want to."
"I love you," I said. "I want to meet your family."
He let out a breath of relief. "Oh, good."
I frowned. "What's up? You seem off."
"You're the first girl I've really dated since Alison," Jared began. "I feel like it's kind of a big deal bringing you around for them to meet. I don't want to screw this up with you, so if this is too much to ask then I completely understand. I won't push you."
I reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand, running my thumb along his lower lip. "You're serious about us, aren't you?"
"Absolutely," he whispered. "Hell, I'd marry you today if that's what you wanted from me."
"You're joking," I asserted, searching his face for any sign of amusement. I came up empty, and it baffled me.
"Does it look like I'm joking?" he asked. He leaned back onto the couch and drew me into his lap, my legs falling around his hips naturally. "I really love you. A lot. More than I've ever loved anyone else in my life."
"I'm only eighteen," I said as if reminding myself of this would ground my feelings. So far, it had no avail.
"And I'm twenty-two," he observed. "I don't mean that I want to marry you now. Okay, that's not true, I kinda do, but it's a little early for that. At this moment, I want you to meet my family because you deserve to be loved in plain sight. I want to give you that."
I felt tears well up in my eyes as I stared down at him, into the sea of blue that I got to call mine. He was so much more than I ever thought I deserved, so much more than I ever dreamed of having.
He kissed the tears away before they could come.
"Plus I met your scary dad, so I deserve an even trade," he added.
"My dad isn't scary!"
"You're my girlfriend. The universal rule of girlfriends is that all dads are scary," he said.
"Oh is it now?"
"Definitely." He looked down at himself and chuckled. "I can't believe I still haven't gotten dressed. Can you give me a few minutes?"
"Yeah, of course."
I reached for my phone and texted my mom, telling her that Jared and I were going out of town for the weekend. It felt good not having to lie anymore.
I had already left extra clothes in his drawer, folded neatly beside his. He packed our things together in the same bag. Of course, he gave me a suggestive look when he folded one of my bras and set it on top of a couple of my shirts. I flipped him off.
"I promise we'll have a whole room to ourselves later." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Don't get all sexually frustrated with me now."
I smacked him on the arm. "I really hate you sometimes."
He shook his head, index finger bopping the tip of my nose. "You love me."
"I do," I conceded. "Even if you're annoying."
He gave me a piggyback ride to the car, my legs wrapped tightly around his hips as he dropped the bag in the trunk. When he finally put me down, I pushed a hand through his curls, just because I wanted to touch him.
"You're adorable," he said as he opened the door for me.
"You're even cuter," I replied, fully aware of how sappy we were acting. Neither of us really cared, though. We had lost time to compensate for.
We listened to a CD for a band Risa had gotten us both into a while back. He insisted on singing along, even if he sounded sort of terrible. It was hilarious, and I liked being able to watch the sunlight streak through his hair and glimmer in his blue eyes. I liked thinking to myself you really love him, Laura.
"I could use a cup of coffee," he announced, rapping his knuckles against the steering wheel playfully. "Think we should run by Starbucks? I know you like frappuccinos."
"I don't need that much sugar this early," I said.
"And I don't need caffeine," he retorted. "But I want some. Do you want a frappuccino?"
"I always do—"
"Then we've settled it," he interjected. "Ready for a sugar high?"
Sometimes people do little things, small gestures that show you just how much they value you. This was one of those moments.
He held the door for me when we got into the coffee shop, dropping a small kiss into my hairline as we stepped in line to order.
"Mom is going all out with dinner," he began, obviously nervous for me to meet his family. "She's Italian, so expect lots of carbs. Just pretend to like it, even if you don't. My brother likes to burp all the time and it's really gross. So I'm sorry in advance—"
"You're babbling, Jared." I squeezed his hand. "Don't worry, I'll be on my best behavior. I'm just worried they won't like me."
"They'll love you, you're too damn hard not to love," he assured me.
I was caught up in him, his fingers wrapped around mine, so I didn't notice when the person in front of us turned to make eye contact. I hadn't seen him up close in months, not since the breakup, so you can imagine my surprise when my gaze landed on a heavyset jaw and a letterman jacket.
"Mitch?" I said softly, stunned.
"Laura?" he asked. His eyes darted between me and Jared. "Who's this?"
Jared stepped forward, protectively keeping distance between Mitch and me. "I'm Jared, Laura's boyfriend."
Mitch swallowed, eyes never leaving mine. "It's good to meet you."
It was weird, and almost nightmarish having my boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend in the same place at the same time. I tried not to let my discomfort show as I stood there.
"So, uh, how long has this been going on?" Mitch asked, trying to be polite.
"Since last fall," I answered. After I dumped you.
"I heard you got into Brown," Mitch said.
"I did."
"That must've been exciting."
"It was."
Jared knew how Mitch treated me, so he didn't bother with pleasantries or small talk. That wasn't about to happen.
"Where are you headed off to in September?" I questioned.
"Boston College," he replied. "My dad went there. Gotta keep up the legacy."
He mentioned it a few times when we were together. When he was feeling possessive, he tried to get me to follow him there. I always said no. I guess in the end, we wound up in the right places for us.
Mitch offered me an empty smile. "I'm glad you two are happy together. I know I never treated you right, Laura, and I hope that he doesn't make the same mistakes I did. It was nice seeing you again."
He got his coffee and left without so much as another glance in my direction. Jared ordered for us and brushed my arm with his shoulder as we stood waiting for our drinks.
"Baby?"
I blinked, snapping out of my trance. "Yeah? I'm sorry, I just spaced out."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I reassured him. "It's just weird running into him when I'm with you. I never felt truly happy with him, but I am with you. I dunno. I never expected I'd see him again."
"You looked scared of him," Jared observed with an edge in his voice.
"It's not what you think. He could just be cruel sometimes. I don't really want to talk about it."
It was obvious he understood where I was coming from, but he also genuinely wanted to help in some way. I knew that I was keeping information from him, nothing significant albeit, but I didn't see a point in rehashing old stuff again.
Back in the car, Mitch was still on my mind.
He threaded his fingers through mine across the center console out of habit, looking at me sidelong. "You can talk to me, baby."
"I know that." I twirled my straw in my drink to avoid making eye contact. "It's just weird telling you about my past relationship."
"How is it any different from me talking to you about Alison?" he asked.
I wondered if this was going to turn into an argument. I didn't want it to be one, but that seemed to be the direction this was heading. I did what I could to stop it.
"You've been nothing but candid with me," I said. "So I guess I'll answer any of your questions."
Jared's jaw locked, I could see it clench through his skin. "How many times did you sleep with him?"
I nearly choked on my frappuccino. "Are you serious?"
"Just asking."
"Once. One time, remember?" I tried to pretend my cheeks weren't blazing. "That's it? Is this a petty jealousy thing for you?"
"No," he said firmly. "You were together for a long time, so I wanted to ask. I didn't mean to make you upset."
"You didn't." I sounded so exasperated that it was probably unconvincing. "Is that all you wanted to ask?"
He rushed his next question out so fast I was certain I might've missed it. "Did he ever hit you?"
I shrank back into my seat the second he said those words. It seemed so stupid to flinch at a question. Mitch was never routinely abusive outside of his verbal degrading. Most of his bad days just featured cruel words made to hurt me. I was thankful Jared never talked to me like that.
His names for me rattled around inside my skull. Emotional abuse sometimes hurt more than a punch could.
A single tear slipped down my face.
"No," Jared said under his breath. He pulled the car over into the shoulder of the road and took my face in his hands. "Laura, please tell me he didn't."
"He never hit me or anything, but he would say horrible things to me. Especially when I didn't want to have sex," I choked out. "I told you I didn't want to talk about it!"
He unbuckled his seatbelt and practically rushed to my side, yanking open the door so he could hold me close to him and whisper sweet nothings to me. "Shhh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry."
"It was a long time ago," I whimpered. "Please don't hurt him or anything."
"I won't," Jared promised. "Besides, he's bigger than me. He could totally kick my ass in a fight. Remember you're with me now and you're safe now. I would never lay a hand on you and I would never say anything like that to you."
"I'm sorry for getting so worked up over this," I apologized. "I don't want to stir anything up. Jesus, I'm meeting your family soon and I'm already a wreck—"
He chuckled, shaking his head. "You're fine. You just need to calm down a bit."
"How long is the drive?"
He glanced at the clock. "About three hours. We should be there by one. Unless you need me to make a stop for anything?"
I wiped my eyes. "I'm good. See? I stopped crying. I just cry a lot and I didn't mean to worry you."
"I'm okay," he said. "I'm gonna start driving. Is that okay?"
"You don't need to ask my permission to do things, silly."
He climbed back into his seat and turned the keys in the ignition. We got back on the road and drove under clear skies and sunshine. He didn't let go of my hand, reminding me of his presence. I felt a little better admitting how Mitch had hurt me. Talking made it possible to cope.
"I like you in white," he said out of nowhere, gesturing down to my dress. "You look gorgeous."
"I wore the dress for you, but I would've gone with something nicer had I known it was your birthday."
He looked nonchalant. "Birthdays aren't a big deal. Just being with you is enough."
And with that, we continued speeding down a highway, just enjoying each other's company.
***
my sister calls laura's ex "mitch the bitch" and I think it's very fitting so I'm sharing this information with the world. we hate him. jared is a king
signing off,
mads