The word was a sword through my heart. Dad tried to argue, but Reverend Dave had made up his mind. All I could do was just…cry. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. I was broken. The entire foundation of my life had been ripped out from under me. Mackenzie gets a two week suspension. Mackenzie, the one who came after me, lied to my friends, and did drugs, gets a two week suspension. While me, Freya, the innocent Christian girl who gets straight A’s, is the president of her class, never got into trouble in my life, gets expelled. Expelled.
At ten forty, I hobbled back upstairs. My backpack was brought down to the front office for me, but I still needed to empty my locker and get my lunchbox out of homeroom. My knee still hurt, my eyes were burning from tears−I was an absolute mess. Yet, I managed to limp up to my locker. Mom offered to come with me, but I told her and Dad to just wait for me downstairs. I’d rather just do this alone. When I finally got there, it didn’t take me long to empty my locker. It’s not like I had to waste any time un-taping any of my pictures. My textbooks were to be returned to the front office. All I had to do was pack up my notebooks. Mackenzie smashed my green mirror too, so that I didn’t have either.
I tried to compose myself before staggering into homeroom. My class was in there for English, but I’m sure that none of them were able to focus after what they had witness anyway. Now, I was dizzy. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. I opened the door to homeroom with caution. I didn’t want to disturb their lesson, but everyone stared. Mr. Basil had stopped teaching, and grown silent to stare with them. I looked out over the small sea of people; some who I’ve known for a year or two, some who were at my table in kindergarten. I’m going to miss them all so much. Please, someone tell me that this is just a joke.
Somberly, I went over to the shelves on the left side of the room where we kept our lunches. I picked out my yellow lunchbox and put the strap over my shoulder. I turned to leave, fighting back tears the best I could. Before I opened the door, I looked at my class one last time and waved.
“Bye guys…”
All at once, thirty-three people got up from their seats and rushed over to me. Ginger hugged me and started crying. Jana did the same. Hayden, Jasmine, even some of the guys got teary-eyed. They all knew. Somehow, they all knew that I was out of here for good. Even Mr. Basil came over and hugged me. He said “I can’t believe this is happening…it’s fair and it’s not. Don’t to the crime if you can’t do the time. But you don’t deserve this Freya.” They all said things like “We love you Frey-Frey!” and “We’ll miss you!” Some people even said “We’ll fight for you! We’ll get you back here!” I’ll admit that it was a nice gesture, but an impossible dream.
After standing there for ten minutes hugging and crying with everyone, I figured that Mom and Dad would be getting impatient. “I have to get going.” I told them. But they disagreed. Jana said “Let us go with you.” Mr. Basil stayed behind, and all thirty-three of my classmates walked through the school, to the main office with me. Mom and Dad looked just as surprised as I was when they saw the whole class with me. My body had begun to shake again. I felt like there was no way I’d make it out that front door. I couldn’t do it. My whole self wasn’t going to handle it.
I said my goodbyes one last time. My parents escorted me out the front door and I stepped out into the sunlight of a sixty-degree day. The sun may have been shining, but I was having the darkest day of my life. Each step we took towards the car became more and more difficult. It wasn’t just the pain in my knee holding me back, but my body kept telling me not to go any further. Mom and Dad we almost at the point of dragging me forward. I couldn’t breathe. No! I’m not expelled! I’m not! I’m not! This isn’t happening to me…Now; I would tell you what happened once I got to the car, the problem is, I didn’t make it to the car.
About twenty feet from the our green SUV, I collapsed in the parking lot. My theory is that the situation was just too much to handle, and I fainted−another thing that’s never happened before. All the wonderful horrors just keep on racking up today. So, I was pretty freaked out when I woke up on the ground. My classmates saw the whole thing and came rushing out. They had the nurse come out and look at me. Apparently, I was out cold for about two minutes. My parents were recommended to take me to the hospital, which was where we were going anyway because of my knee.
My friends helped me get up and into the car. I said goodbye again, which also made me start crying, again. I was helped into the back of the car. Mom would take me to the hospital in that vehicle, and Dad was going to drive my car back to the house, before going back to work. At eleven thirty, we left the parking lot of the school. Something I thought would only take a few minutes had taken me almost an hour, just to pack up and leave.
Eleven forty-five. We arrive at the hospital. Mom helped me out of the car and we I made my way inside at my own pace. I could swear that I saw a snail on the sidewalk speeding past me at one point. When I stumbled in the waiting room was empty, but I figured I’d have a long wait anyway. Two years ago we had to bring Faith in because she fell and cut her head. It took them two hours just to see her. It was one in the afternoon when we brought her in. We left at five thirty. God knows how long I’d be stuck there today.
One fifteen, I was brought in to get an x-ray of my knee and a few simple tests done to see why I fainted. They took my blood pressure and such. Then they brought me into some examining room, where I spent most of my waiting time. Over this entire thing, I felt like I was being ripped apart. What hurt even more was that I could tell Mom felt the same way. She told me over and over again “My poor Freya, look what happened. Look at what that witch did to you,” I couldn’t agree more. By the time I was in the examining room, my eyes had dried up from tears. I couldn’t cry anymore. The only thing that was keeping me sane was that now there was a good chance I’ll never have to see Mackenzie again.
Two thirty. A doctor finally comes to see me. He said I didn’t−Mackenzie didn’t−break my knee, it just has a serious bruise. I should stay off of it for a few days; do the whole thing with putting ice on it. I was pretty relieved about that considering how I had imagined the worst. I was so terrified that I’d need to be on crutches for months. As for my fainting: “Mental strain. Nothing serious at all.” Mom had told me she thought the same thing. I was too overwhelmed. So, for all the time we were waiting, the doctor saw me for maybe…ten minutes tops? I was a little annoyed, but I was expecting it. Hospitals are an all-day affair nowadays.
Three fifteen. I arrive home around five hours after my expulsion. Had the fight not happened this morning, I would’ve been just getting in the door now. Mom dropped me off, then went right back out to pick up the kids. This was one of those rare moments in my life where I had the house to myself. With a family of seven, it was rare that it would last longer than an hour or so. I headed over to the kitchen. Seven am. That was the last time that I’d eaten. There was no food in the hospital. They told us there was a vending machine, and mom got me all that was there: a peanut bar. You think they’d at least have a bag of chips or something to actually fill you. But no−let’s just fill the vending machine with beef jerky and peanuts. I think I mentioned my vegetarianism a while ago. That was why I opted out of the jerky, even though Mom kept arguing that “you can’t get a Caesar salad out of the vending machine Frey,”
I had to make myself something. On my aching leg, I leaned over the stove for support and made some rice. Ten minutes can be agonizing when you’re starving. That’s all today was: waiting. Waiting in the main office, waiting in the nurse’s office, waiting at the hospital. My patience had been thinning since this morning. Now, I had to wait for Dad to get home from work. I kept asking Mom what we were going to do in the hospital. What do we do? How do I graduate? Where can I go? What about my college? She at least reassured me that I won’t be unaccepted from my current school. I don’t think they’ll just drop me. Why lose out on a twenty-thousand-dollar tuition?
“Wait until your father gets home. We’ll discuss it then.” Mom has always been an honest person. She voiced over and over again “I have no idea what we’re going to do.” Of course, I don’t. By the time I was home I had decided come to terms with what happened. I forced myself to believe it. No more Mercy. No more Mackenzie. As distraught as I was, there was still that little inkling of happiness. I never have to wake up and worry ever again, “Oh, great. I have to deal with Mackenzie today.” Now, the problem is that I have a million other things to worry about that are a lot more important.
At the moment the main focus was Dad. He’s always been kind of strict. He was furious at school. Not so much as with me, but with Reverend Dave. I asked Mom if he upset with me while we were waiting for an eternity at the hospital. Her exact words were: “A little. He’s disappointed in what you did. But he’s more upset with the school.” Mom said he even told her that he wanted to press charges on Mackenzie for assault. I want no part of it. I never want to see her face again. Why would I want to go deal with her in court? I was more worried that her family would press charges on me. I think I did a lot more physical damage to her than she did to me.
I was lying down on the couch watching tv when the kids came in. I know Mom told them what happened in the car. Frankie went straight up to his room and Fox sat down in silence at the kitchen table, picking at a plate of sugar cookies. I think they thought it was best just to avoid me. That hurt even more. What do they think of me? I’m the biggest failure ever. Yet instead of running away, Faith did the exact opposite. The minute the door opened, I heard her call my name and run in to search for me. When she found me, she scampered into the room and fell onto my lap, which made me smile. Thank you Faith. She looked up at me, beaming. Oh, I see. Mom told them how upset I was and now she was trying to cheer me up. I don’t know how people can say that hate their little siblings. I have no idea.
“Freya, if you can’t come to school, then I’m not going to school either. I’m going on strike against that stupid Reverend Dave,”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or be serious. She’s so adorable… “Faith, don’t say that about Reverend. And besides, you know Mercy is a good school. You don’t want to leave all your friends, do you?”
She put her head down. “No…”
“You need to stay in school. Just because I’m not, doesn’t mean you can stop going. I’m going to be in a lot of trouble…I don’t know how I’m going to graduate.”
She looked up and crossed her arms. “But I don’t want you to graduate! Then you’re going to leave like Fran.”
I think that would break anyone’s heart. How do you respond to that? “Don’t worry too much about it. If I don’t figure something out, I won’t be.”