A\N: Yall, there are many warnings for this one. Someone suggested a traitor one so... Here ya go
TW; Torture, child abuse, feels, death.
Kaminari never wanted things to turn out like this.
He didn't think it would hurt so bad. But it did. Seeing those utterly crushed looks from his classmates tore at his insides almost as much as the knife did. Wedged deep into his gut.
He was supposed to feel satisfaction, like any other villain did when their grand scheme was revealed in the end, leaving utter destruction in its wake. He was supposed to feel pleasure from seeing those he had deceived for so long give him those shattered, painful looks.
But he didnt.
Instead, deep rooted terror spread throughout his limbs, making them shake against their will. Damn. He wasn't supposed to feel so heartbroken over his own evil deeds. When had he grown to care so much? When had he learned to feel such unfamiliar feelings? They were alien to him. When was the last time someone vocalize those feelings of affection twords him?
He gave and gave to the world, but it simply never returned the favor. He gave all he had until he couldn't give anymore. Something warm oozed past his chapped lips. Kaminari was too weak to wipe it off, the energy had been sapped from his body.
When had it come to this?
Kaminari was born into the business, his parents breeding him for the very purpose of killing. He didn't have a chance the moment he was born, doomed at birth. He was considered a bad omen, a curse. The first and only time he'd seen his parents faces was at the age of five, when he acquired his quirk.
The day he received his quirk was quite possibly one of the worst ones in his life.
Leading up to the moment, it was all his masters talked about. To them it was a no brainer that he would get a strong quirk. Apparently his parents were bonded together for the soul reason, To make a weapon.
Denki, at first had no control over his quirk whatsoever, but quickly learned how to harness it with intense training. Well it wasn't much training, more of effectively scaring him into submission.
They would hold him under water just long enough for the water to burn his lungs. He learned the hard way not to cry or let out electricity while in pain. Because In that very same pool his exhausted and overcharged was dumped into, was an innocent person. Sometimes a whole family.
The electric shocks cascaded off of his burning body, immediately reaching out to girl just about his age. For the years to follow, those screams and many more would haunt his dreams.
He never had a name, or a voice.
He was a weapon of mass destruction.
The sooner he figured that out, accepting his dirty role in life, was when the training intensified. He no longer went 'dumb' as they called it, though the few times he did was when he was locked in the white room.
White.
That was the only color he saw for weeks on end. White walls, white floors, white bodysuit. He later realized that it was apparently some new method of mental torture to bully him into submission. He was surprisingly resistant to it.
That didn't matter, they would always find a way to wrap him around their fingers. Hostages were the most effective, that was, until Kaminari got rid of those pesky feelings holding him back. Compassion, remorse, pity. He was forced to let go of them in order to survive.
Denki Kaminari knew what pain was since the very moment he opened his tiny golden eyes into the unwelcome world. He grew accustomed to the fact that he would never have a name, face, voice, or thought of his own.
He excelled in undercover missions, but his specialty was interrogation tactics. His skills were thoroughly studied and manipulated over the years. At the age of twelve he gained complete control over his quirk, no easy feat for having such a destructive force of nature running through his veins.
Interrogation. Kaminari found his knack when He was playing around with his brain cells, using his quirk the alter the sensory part of brain. He just wanted to feel something. Anything. He didn't understand why they made such a fuss over it, locking him in a room with a cheap looking body builder who could easily crush his head in like a grape.
'Do the same thing to him,' They said. 'Get him to talk.'
Talk the man did. As soon as Kaminari placed his small, shaky fingers to the man's temples, sending controlled jolts of electricity to the man's control center, he was dead.
Soon after they tried it on a couple of more subjects until finally, one spoke. After a long session of writhing and foaming at the mouth, strapped down to her chair, the woman's eyes glazed over. She spilled all of her secrets in a monotone voice that reminded Denki of his own.
It scared the shit out of him
The first time he felt anything in a while.
He wanted to feel it again.
Over the years spent in that... Where was He exactly? He was allowed outside, but only for the fact that he would go blind if he never faced the sunlight and were to suddenly waltz outside. They didn't want their weapon to be broken.
Though he was never able to understand emotion, Kaminari had a natural talent for acting. There was only one time when his artificial mask broke on an undercover mission, and he would never let it happen again.
He was fifteen when he looked into a mirror for the first time.
He had blonde hair? Why was there a lightning bolt? Did his parents look like this? Did his parents even care?
He was left with more questions then answers.
Then he was sent off to some kind of hero school. Kaminari didn't even know hero's existed. He was only informed of the evil that lurked around every corner. He was that evil. Though a small thought flashed across his mind before being immediately disregarded.
If there were such things as heros, then why didn't they save him?
His name for the mission would be Denki Kaminari. Electric quirk user who went dumb after discharging too many volts. A F- student. He was okay with that, playing dumb was sometimes easier then living in his harsh reality.
He felt himself drifting off into his Kaminari headspace the more and more time he spent at UA. Why were these people so nice to him? Was that just how they normally acted? Why weren't the adults beating him for not doing his work? Were they not supposed to?
Denki's smile never faltered, though he found himself not having to force it so much the more time he spent with the class. He liked it there and he never wanted to leave. However, Kaminari's heart desired more than he could ever acheive.
The league of villains worked with the agency as a decoy to avert focus away from them. Huh. Kaminari was the one risking it all when they moved into the dorms. He's was now living with the enemy.
Over time, his mind wore on him, his emotions becoming more and more muddled. He liked it here. He didn't want to leave. He wasn't even forcing his smile anymore, it was the only thing real about him.
Then came graduation, also known as the time to strike. Kaminari was stupid to ever think he could have a happy graduation of his own, after all he really didn't own any part of his life.
So why did he do it?
If he was so resigned to his fate, then why did he jump in front of that knife?
Maybe it was the look of pure terror on that little girls face, a look as if she had already suffered enough. Eri reminded Kaminari too much of himself sometimes, and he just wanted to make her smile as much as possible.
Maybe that's why he did it.
Maybe that's why he didn't let his class into that stadium for the ceremony where the rest of the school waited in anticipation.
A bomb was planned to go off, and while their defences were down, the league of villains would take out the remainder of the hero's. Kaminari knew this, he planted the bombs himself, afterall. It may have been too late to stop the countdown now, but he would not let his class- his family - die.
They had been through too much together for him to let that happen. Even if it was all a lie. They showed Kaminari emotions, hardship, family, and the best days of his life. He never got to thank him for that, but he could only hope they got the message.
And the video that he left for them.
Explaining everything. His childhood, his quirk, his real name (weapon), and his true emotions twords them. Love. The only time he felt love in his life was when he was with them. It took him a lot of struggling to come to terms with the emotion, but eventually, he accepted it.
So yes, he would do it all again. He would lead them away from that rigged stadium, he would alert a teacher, he would surrender himself to the authority's, but most importantly, he would jump in front of that little girl. He would not make a single pained noise as he fell to the ground, only allowing a silent stream of tears to roll down his bloodied cheeks.
Those weren't sad tears.
They were happy tears.
His body weighed heavily on him as he let go, Slipping off into a euphoric sleep.
Maybe he wouldn't need to be the bad guy next time.
Maybe his friends still loved him.
And maybe, just maybe, he wasn't a monster incapable of feelings, because he sure felt many now. Emotions blurred together in his dimming vision. He allowed himself to smile one last time before finally relaxing his tired body after sixteen long years of suffering in silence.
He was the UA traitor, a weapon, a killer.
But he was also Denki Kaminari. The one who saved three whole generations of heros, the one who's video story was broadcasted for the world to see, and the one who that little girl, Eri grew up idolizing.
Kaminari was no longer seen as the UA traitor, but as the savior.