Saturday, 22nd of July
It had been two days since Sasuke and Tsunade rescued her from the lava dimension. Sasuke came back for her... the information still didn't make sense to her. Either way she wanted to thank him but the both times she had woken up he wasn't around. It frustrated her to know that he probably won't visit her in the hospital but she kew how he was, coming here would show her that he cared and that was too much for him. She smiled... he cared and she knew it. She didn't need him to say it or be more obvious anymore.
Her mind still wandering as she had nothing else to do, she realised that she couldn't wait to get out of this boring white room. A bouquet of sunflowers were next to her facing the window. Based on what she had heard, Hinata had brought them yesterday. Sakura appreciated the support Naruto's wife gave her. They had never been really close and it warmed up her heart to know that such a sweet girl was with her best friend, Naruto deserved it as he was the sweetest man she knew. Other than the fact that he wasn't the brightest star in the village, he was caring, loving, attentionate and funny. She wondered why not more girls were into him growing up. His incredibly high level of energy... that was definitely the reason why.
A knock on the door brought her back to reality in a small jump. She looked at the door and told the person to come in. She was pleasantly surprised to see her childhood best friend.
"Sakura, how are you feeling?"
"Better Ino", replied the kunoichi. "I think I mostly need to rest after using this much chakra."
The blonde sat down on the chair next her bed. She seemed very worried about her which made Sakura wonder why. Yes she had to be rescued but she was fine. The look of Ino made her want to merge with her bed.
"Sakura, are you sure you feel ok going on a mission with him?"
The bluntness of the question made her sway.
"Y-yes. Why?"
"Before you left you were driving yourself to exhaustion using soldier pills, don't try to deny it, I saw the jar. You weren't sleeping anymore and it started happening shortly after he left the village. Are you sure it's ok for you to travel with him even after everything?"
She wondered what to reply. Did she mind travelling with him? Not anymore but she did at first. Sometimes when she was looking at him she remembered all the things that happened between the two but it didn't have the impact that it used to. She formulated an answer in her mind before she replied.
"I don't know what I feel anymore."
"You don't know what you feel? What d'you mean...?"
"I don't know Ino I want to give you an answer but I just don't have one."
"Sakura if you have feelings for him again I'll punch you until you don't. He made you suffer enough as it is. Don't go back to him."
Sakura looked at her friend. She felt annoyed at her. They were friends, they were supposed to support each other no matter what and there she was giving out to her about not getting feelings for Sasuke.
"Besides, Sakura someone like him doesn't change. Someone who fell this deep into hatred can never come back from it. He'll never be able to give you what you want, never, you get me!"
Her voice started to rise louder. Who did she think she was to say things like that about him? She didn't know him, she never did.
"He is changing," started Sakura trying to keep her calm. "I didn't want to give him another chance but his actions left me no choice. Trust me it doesn't make me fully happy that he is turning into the man that he is." She took a deep breath. "It annoys me because I spent all these years wishing that he would be that person, I spent all this time forcing myself to get over him because he was so consumed by the darkness and now that he is back, I see him brighter than ever and it annoys me, it annoys me because I was the one who was by his side the entire time, it didn't matter how deep he was falling, I was there but now some other girl will be able to have him. After all I went through, after years of running after him to bring him back, someone else will enjoy what I always wanted." she was screaming at this point, tears running down her face. "It doesn't annoy me, it breaks my heart. I saw it, Ino. He is caring in his own way... He is complicated but once you understand him you realise that he deserves the entire world and I want to give it to him but I can't because he won't let me. He is just a child who had to grow up too fast and was manipulated by adults who wanted power."
Sakura was sobbing now that she fully realised how much he had suffered. She wanted to make his future so bright that it would illuminate his past. A blinding light where he could be happy and help him understand that his past was just an ensemble of elements that led him to be what he was today, happy.
Ino's arm hugged her tightly. She hurried her face in that hug hoping that the pain in her chest will disappear. It was tearing her apart from the inside.
"You know, the more you push your feelings inside, the more violent they are when they come out."
Sakura heard her friend but couldn't reply. She knew all along that she was lying to herself but she pushed that away too thinking that if she ignored it, it'll eventually go away. She was wrong. It's always been Sasuke and it will always be Sasuke.
The door opened but she couldn't see who was there. A little cough made her look above Ino's shoulder. He was there. Her chest started to hurt a hundred times more but she was happy at the same time. Ino let go of her friend and faced Sasuke.
"What are you doing here? I don't think she should be seeing you right now."
"I'm the reason why she is in this village right now."
Sakura laughed and wiped her tears with her sleeve. Ino was going to be seriously angry if the two kept talking.
"Ino its fine, thank you for coming. I'll see you later!"
The blonde woman judged her friend with her eyes and left the room bumping on purpose into Sasuke's shoulder on her way out. Sakura shook her head chuckling. Her friend was so protective it became comical. The kunoichi shifted her attention to the man standing in the room. As she was looking at him she recalled how foolish she was two years ago. Back then she seriously hoped that he would just change in one day, discover his hidden love for her and marry her. She was so naive.
He was just standing next to the bed. She internally giggled, he was so awkward around people, it was cute to see.
She gave him another chance to speak first but she quickly realised that he wasn't going to so she made the first move.
"Thank you."
"Hn?"
"You came back and saved me, thank you."
He walked to the window without looking at her. She looked at his back while he was staring at the window. The situation was calming and she realised that it was because of him. Whenever they were alone she felt at peace.
She didn't mind the silence but she wanted to be closer to him. She stood up with a bit of struggle and walked to the window next to him. She brushed his fingertips with hers. It was so sudden that he didn't have time to push her away. They stayed like that, her fingers barely touching his, for a moment that felt like forever. Her cheeks felt so hot right now that she wondered how red they were. It felt good, all the butterflies in her belly flying everywhere. She missed this feeling.
Sasuke turned around to her breaking the contact.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better."
He didn't answer but kept looking. He seemed so far away into his mind right now that she was scared if he'll ever come back. She interrupted his train of thoughts by speaking softly.
"Why did you come back? The reasonable thing to do would've been to continue the mission. Instead you interrupted it to come back to the village, why?"
She was testing him. Of course he wasn't going to reply but this month of travel taught her how to read him without talking. And she got what she wanted. A flash of fear took possession of his eyes before he looked away. But it was too late, she had already seen it. The small smile on her lips grew bigger. So he did care.
Her hand grabbed his sleeve while she was still staring at him. He slightly pushed her away but it wasn't strong enough for her to let go.
"I don't hate you anymore."
"Hn."
She approached him and put her head on his shoulder.
"I'm proud of how far you've come Sasuke. I need you to know that."
She let her head rest on his shoulders until the closeness made him too uncomfortable. She understood it was too much when he started to move. Before she had the time to step away, the door opened on a screaming man.
"Sakuuuuuraa-chan! I heard you were awake."
"Na-Naruto, don't be so loud... we are in a hospital."
Naruto looked at his wife with a big smile before he ran up to Sakura to hug her. He held her tight against his chest. Sakura couldn't stop herself from seeing Kakashi staring at Sasuke. Did they see the two of them at the window?
Hinata's soft laugh filled the room. Sakura was so happy to see them that she answered Naruto's hug by putting her hands around him. They had been through hell together and it felt good that today they were able to feel safe and happy. Her friend finally let go of her and stepped back.
"Hey Sasuke, good to see you."
"Hn."
Hinata stepped closer and stood next to Naruto followed by Kakashi. They were pretty together and she was radiant.
"Hinata and I have something to say! Everyone... we are going to have a baby!"
She was paralysed with happiness. Naruto was going to be a dad... the Naruto who once was hated by everyone. The Naruto who suffered as an orphan was going to build his own little family. She was so proud of him. She heard voices around her and saw Naruto smile. She snapped back to reality and jumped into Hinata's arms.
"I'm so happy for you!"
All the excitement was probably too much for her fragile state and when she let go of the hug she felt extremely dizzy. Her vision became fuzzy and she slightly lost her balance. A strong arm grabbed her and carried her to bed. Once lying she started to see better.
"Stay in bed."
She looked at a confused Naruto who was staring at Sasuke. Everyone in the room probably wondered if they had heard the raven haired ninja correctly. Did he really told her to stay in bed after saving her from falling? The silence in the room was heavy and Kakashi spoke first.
"Well, it seems like Sakura needs some rest. We'll come back later."
As everyone was leaving, including Sasuke, Sakura called Hinata. The woman turned around smiling.
"Yes, Sakura-chan?"
"Thank you for the flowers."
The two girls grinned at each other before the door closed on the little group.
Sakura was left alone with her thoughts as only company. She was thinking about everything they all went through growing up. Zabuza, Haku, the missions, the chunin exam, the curse mark, losing sasuke, trying to fight to get him back, getting accustomed to the idea of never seeing him again, the Akatsuki.. everything overwhelmed her and a feeling of pain that she buried for years came back out. A feeling she pushed away for years ignoring it was completely taking over her.
She broke down crying. All the pain and the trauma was finally over, things were falling back into place. All the regrets she felt vanished away like they never existed followed by the anger she had towards herself. The truth was, she had never been mad at him, she had been mad a herself all along but couldn't handle the anger so she directed it towards him.
The guilt of not being able to stop him years ago blew out of her chest, the guilt of not being good enough, the guilt of not being important enough... one after the other the buried emotions surfaced. Today, for the first time, she wasn't mad at her younger self anymore. She told her that it had never been her fault, unwanted circumstances were at fault here. Things had to go the way they went.
Maybe if Sasuke had stayed then she wouldn't be as strong as she was today. She wouldn't have needed to get stronger. All the struggle she faced while he wasn't around made her who she was today and she was proud of herself. Things happened the way they were supposed to even if that wasn't what she wanted back then. Maybe, if Sasuke had stayed, he wouldn't have opened up like he had. Maybe he would've had a sour feeling of unsatisfied revenge in his mind.
Her chest was so tight which made her sobbing even stronger. She was starting to have a headache. For the first time in years she was finally at peace. Sasuke was the right choice all along, him and her were right, it just wasn't the right time.
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Sasuke walked away from the hospital looking at it one more time. The memory of Sakura's fingers on his was so vivid in his mind that he could still feel them. When she told him that she was proud of him it made his heart stop. He couldn't remember the last time someone had said something like that to him. She probably didn't even realise it but that was exactly what he needed to hear right now, especially since he was trying to be a better person and change. Someone was proud of him.
She was different, so different than when they were young but he liked this older version of her. She always had a special place in his heart as they went through near death experiences together but now she was taking over more space into his heart. He didn't know what it meant, well he had an idea, but wasn't sure if that was it.
He recalled the conversation he had heard just before he opened her bedroom door. He recognised the irritating voice of Ino. She was right on one point: someone who fell this deep into hatred could never completely come back. The hate had left his body but he was still struggling with understanding his own emotions. Based on what she replied to Ino he couldn't giver her any of that, especially since he didn't even know the reason why he ran back to Konoha to get Tsunade. The only thing he was sure of was that he didn't want her to come back on mission with him, not after he nearly lost her.
"Flowers, flowers seem to be something to offer when someone is in the hospital." he thought to himself recalling her thanking Hinata.
As he was walking towards Ino's shop he stopped and asked someone to run inside and buy a bouquet of peonies. Being nice was a thing but he didn't want her best friend to see it and he didn't want to talk to her either especially now that he knew how she felt about him.
While he was waiting for the person to come back, he wondered how he was going to handle the situation with Sakura. He was only close to two people and it was her and Naruto... maybe Kakashi but Kakashi had no knowledge when it came to relationship and how to handle them. He settled on the idea of talking to Naruto. After all he was the more mature one when it came to speaking to people.