The Ludicrous Escapade

By YandereObsessor

1M 50.9K 44.7K

Starting in 19th century England, where will (Y/N)'s ludicrous escapade take her? Based off the animes, but e... More

The Blue Haired Boy and His Problems
The Blonde One is Planning Something
The Real Gentleman
How Unfortunate
Oh Yeah...
A Mask
Odd Behavior
The Liar
Proof
Goodbye, Joestar
We Didn't Start the Fire...Except We Did
Hamon and Cheese Sandwich
Breathe In Breathe Out
Jack Strikes Again
The Graveyard
A Few Drops of Blood
Vampire?
A Chance Has Arrived
To Battle!
Aftermath
Bittersweet Farewell
To New York We Go
Grand
A Quiet Meal is Too Much to Ask For
Just Can't Catch a Break
Nigerundayo!
Testing
A Relaxing(?) Meal
A Pillar Man Awakens
Some Slight Disfiguration
To Learn, To Teach
It's Just Pasta
What Are We Waiting For?
They No Longer Slumber
Spin Them Round
Where Did You Get That?
A Ring
The Ripple Master
Hell Climb Pillar
To Improve
Cards
Shed a Tear or Two
Relating to Another
To Get Back What Was Lost
We Meet Again
To Chase and Fall
The Buttons Have Been Pushed
Wind Gives Immunity From The Sun
Farewell, Dear Companions
A Deal
The View From Up Here
That Was Pretty Lucky
Dust
A Disappointment
Pawn
Don't Leave Her Hanging
Cute Squirrel
Fight or Flight: Why Not Both?
Plane Crash Number Two
Eruption
Whose Funeral?
Phone Calls
Stands
He's Here Anyways
Fire Vs Muscle
The Mark of a Bloodline
Should've Stayed Home
Green Tentacles
Wakey Wakey
Some Swift Sewing
The Start to Reach the End
Beetle Man
Yet Another Crashing Plane
French Man Be Hungry
Surprise Attack
The Team Grows
Stowaway
Not the Victory We Were Hoping For
Monkey Buisness
No, That's Not What I Want
Is He Really Alright?
Don't Eat That
No Weakness? Sure...
Cherry Licking Fun
Not Half Nor a Quarter
Tactical Retreat
Penny For Your Thoughts
Who Taught Him That Technique?
Unusual Hunk of Metal
On The Road Again
Vroom Vroom
A Bit Over the Edge
Uniform Renewal Service
Weirdly Quiet Bizarre Town
His Plan
Toilet Licker
Steel
Jotaro Bridge
And Your Total is...
It Ain't Worth That Much
Is It Hot in Here, or Is It Just Me?
What's So Funny?
Baby Don't Cry
Dream On
Trust That Falters
Not the Time for Tea
Breakfast, Yum!
Be Careful What You Wish For
Old Flames Being Rekindled
Give Me Those Wishes Three
Under the Sea~
Multiplying Drinking Utensils
I Sea You
We've Arrived! Sort of...
Who's a Good Boy?
Water? In the Desert?
Watch Out!
Actually, We're Not
Hospital Visit
He Gets the Point
Accidents Happen
Get Some Rest
Bringing Them Together
Where'd They Go?
Younger Than Before
Wanna Bet?
It's Not Cheating if You Don't Get Caught
Memorization
You're Bluffing, Right?
The Search Continues
A Bird of Prey
Huh, There's a Second One
Under His Orders
Enjoy the Show
Kind of an Idiot
To Avenge
Long Time No See
The Right Path
Night Has Come
Anticipation
Oh?
As Fate Foretold
Survival
Makeover
A Promise of Fifty Years
Gullibility
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Mistakenly Rejuvenated
Curiosity
It's Official
Polnareff Land!
Forgiveness? Not Quite
Author's Note
Whoop-de-doo

Not So Bad After All

7.8K 333 142
By YandereObsessor

"Shut up you bastard! Stop making up nonsense about (Y/N)!" Shouted Joseph to the Pillar Man. Joseph looked to Speedwagon, "Can you believe the stuff coming out of this guy's mouth?!" Speedwagon adverted his gaze from the Joestar, not wanting to be the one to tell him.

Your blood slid off Joseph's body, returning to the wound while Santana took a step closer. "I suppose she hasn't informed you yet of her current state. How odd. I was under the impression she could trust you."

"He's lying, right (Y/N)?" He looked at you expectantly, but you looked away. "(Y/N)?"

Hesitantly, your eyes met his, "He...He isn't wrong. I'm not human anymore, but doesn't mean I trust you any less. It was just the reason why you had never heard of me before now."

Joseph backed away from you, a hurt expression on his face. He couldn't believe you hid something this important from him. Everyone he trusted was hiding this secret, and if you weren't human, then what were you? He knew you weren't an enemy of his, you had plenty of chances to end him. He should've figured something was off when you revealed you could manipulate your blood, but since he had his own power, he just assumed it was something similar.

Since Joseph was distracted, Santana took the chance to deliver a solid kick to the brown haired man's chest. The move was too quick for you to move Joseph out of the way in time. The Joestar's body collided harshly into the wall, his breath removed from his lungs. Santana sauntered towards the Hamon user's form.

You moved inbetween the Piller Man and Joseph. You tried to fling the Pillar Man's body to ceiling with your blood but he was easily able to distort his body to avoid your attempts at stopping him. With a swift movement of his arm he flung your body into the five soldiers you had managed to save previously. You could feel their bodies smooshing between yourself and the wall upon colliding.

You stumbled out of the dent that had been made in the wall from the sheer force of the attack. Your clothes were now stained with the mushed up parts of the soldiers. You felt gross after spending even a second in the bath worth of blood. You tried to wipe blood off your face but succeeded in only smearing it more. The loud crunching of bones echoed throughout the room as you stepped back onto the ground. You looked up to see Joseph's body partially submerged into Santana's.

Your throat was clogged with the blood of another so you couldn't speak at the moment, Speedwagon screamed for you, "JoJo! Use your hamon breathing! Breathe Dammit!" From his struggling, his wheelchair lost it's balance. You were close enough to catch him and set it upright while coughing blood onto your shoulder to clear your lungs. "JoJo!"

Stroheim began to speak as well, "We're through! We have no choice but to blow the building and ourselves up!" He began running to the panel of several switches and buttons breathing heavily.  He moved his hand up into a fist above a large button, "For the Fatherland! For eternal glo-" He went to move his hand downwards but found he couldn't. He glanced up at his hand to see your blood had stopped him.

You had finally managed to clear your throat out, "Stop, Stroheim! Santana would be able to regrow from an explosion, you'd only succeed in killing Joseph, Speedwagon, and yourself!"

"And there's no need to panic!" Everyone's gaze turned to the partially submerged Joseph. "I bet big. Attacks from the outside are no good, so I'm going in! I'll blast him with Hamon while he eats."

Despite the Joestar's reassurances, Speedwagon was still frightened, "JoJo!"

"I was waiting for him to try this!" He glanced to you for a moment, "And don't worry (Y/N), no hard feelings between us!" He looked back to Santana, "This is perfect! Take this! Hamon!!" The room shined with the sparks of Hamon as Santana's body was split apart. The several pieces of his body scattering around the room and hitting the ground with a thud.

"I-I get it now. After hiding inside that horrific body of his, I figured out how he digests his victims. His cells expel digestive fluid to devour the cells of his prey. That's why it looks as if he's merging and absorbing his loot." Santana's eyes opened. "I'm only safe because I sent Hamon into him as he tried to dissolve me. How was (Y/N) immune to the effects without it?"

"But your Hamon was too weak!" Shouted Speedwagon, who had noticed Santana's still conscious form which was now beginning to move it's limbs, "It wasn't enough to destroy Santana!"

Santana flung his upper half into the air with his arm strength. Anticipating an attack, Joseph flung out his knife that was attached to a chain binding it tightly around Santana's body and then pulling it to the ground.

"So you're trying to gather your body parts to rebuild, eh! I learned from my battle with Straizo. I've come prepared!" Joseph struggled to keep the Pillar Man in place. "Von Stroheim!" Stroheim stood there, shaking in fear as the limbs moved across the floor, doing nothing to stop them. Joseph threw a hat at his head. "Pay attention! Does sunlight hurt him too?!"

While they talked, you did your best to restrain as many of the scattered parts as you could.

"Y-Yes! Joestar, it was written on the walls of the cave! He is vulnerable to the sun! He made the masks to conquer the sun!" Joseph dragged Santana with him towards the door the door, opening it slowly, "What are you doing, Joestar?! That door leads outside!"

Joesph began dragging Santana up the staircase that led to the door outside, "I'll destroy you with sunlight!"

"He's running out breath! He'll lose control of his Hamon! He hasn't rained with it, so the battle has exhausted him!" Speedwagon looked to you, "(Y/N), Can you help him?"

"I'm...I'm not sure." You slowly being pulled towards the door by the scattered parts as they tried to reconnect with the main piece of Santana.

Santana didn't take kindly to being dragged around, "Cease this foolishness, primitive!" He paused for a moment, "(Y/N), I am sure my masters will be pleased to know you aided in my reawakening, if you you end the foolishness of your acquaintances now, I am sure they will find a place for you in their plan."

"Like hell I'll help you now!"

"So be it." Santana flung his body upwards and attacked Joseph. The suddenness of the movement surprising the Joestar.

"JoJo, use your Hamon breathing!" Shouted Speedwagon once again.

"Breathe?! I've got nothing left! Dammit! I've had more than enough of you! I'm going to drag you up these stairs and burn you, you bastard, if it kills me!" Joseph continued up the stairs by pulling himself with one arm, suddenly he stopped, "What the...?! Heavy...I feel so heavy." He looked back at his legs, "Wh-What's happening? Pieces of his flesh, they're...draining me! Y-You son of a..." He extended his arm for the door. "Keep moving..."

"I never expected such a human to be born while I slumbered."

Stroheim stepped forward, he was mad at himself for doing nothing during the whole ordeal. He moved past your struggling figure and hopped quickly up the staircase to the door. "Leave the rest to me, Rudol von Stroheim! It's just this door, right? I can handle that!"

"Stroheim, you..." Joseph was shocked from the soldier's sudden courage.

Santana leaped(?) into the air once again, this time towards Stroheim. "Pathetic insects!" Some of his flesh strung though Stroheim's leg, stopping him from opening the door.

Stroheim screamed in pain, but continued reaching for it. "Just a few centimeters more!"

Santana's eyes narrowed at the soldier, "Your struggle is futile."

Stroheim glanced at you for a moment, "(Y/N), could you do me a favor?"

You had been pulled about halfway up the stairs at this point, "What do you need?!"

Joseph spoke up first, "Just shut up! I'm trying to think of a way out of this!"

He ignored Joseph's comments, "Chop my leg off!"

"Wh-what?!"

"Yes! Use your blood to chop my leg off so I can reach the door!"

"B-But...Do you really want me to do that?!"

"Just do it! Before he regenerates! You won't be able to stop the rest of his body for much longer! I'm a proud soldier of the German army! I'm prepared to fulfill my duty at any cost! I would proudly give a few legs for the sake of the Fatherland! Do it now!"

"Dammit, Stroheim! You're a much better man than I thought. I hear you loud and clear!" Your blood sharpening to slice cleanly through the soldier's limb.

The cut was smooth, but still incredibly painful and he held back a scream of pain.He clenched his teeth and leaped for the doorknob, successfully opening the metal blockade letting the bright sunlight in. Santana managed to rid himself of the chains and began blocking his eyes from the light.

"May the harshest sun bear down upon your soul!"

Joseph and Stroheim sat at the top of the staircase, watching as the Pillar Man's skin seemed to harden. "Did we do it?" Asked the German soldier.

Santana pushed himself into the air with his arms, contorting his body, "Wh-What?!" Shouted Joseph.

"He's wriggling through the wound to my insides!" Stroheim moved outside.

Joseph took an axe of the wall and tried to slice at it before it could fully enter, but was too late. However, the body parts you held onto turned to stone as they remained in the sun's light.

"How could this be?! He burrowed into Stroheim- who can't use Hamon!"

You set the now useless stone limbs aside as you and Joseph watched the soldier hobble away on his remaining leg. "Santana has taken over my body!"

"He's merciless! What tenacity! If he's sheltered within Stroheim, he's safe from the sun!"

Stroheim fell onto the ground, "S-Such horror! This is horrifying! Do you know what frightens me, Joestar, (Y/N)? My leg doesn't hurt. It feels wonderful actually!" His body sprung upwards while you and Joseph called out his name.

Both of you watched as he pulled something out, "Hold on!" Shouted the Joestar."Y-You won't..."

"You've seen what Santana, the ultimate being, can do. there's no hope for me. I'll use this to destroy both of us." The cap of the explosive clacks onto the ground. "But I must tell you something before I die. Nothing pains me more than to tell you this. We, the German army, did not awaken Santana simply for curiosity's sake." He placed the explosive in his mouth.

"What?" Questioned Joseph. "Why tell us this now?!"

"Listen! It is your destiny to hear this! Besides Santana, our army has uncovered another Pillar Man in a certain underground area of Europe!" His shirt ripped open and blood splurted from his mouth.

You recalled the red haired Pillar Man's words, "They must be the Masters that Santana mentioned earlier!"

"Wait, what are you saying?!" Joseph was still confused.

Stroheim answered, "Santana isn't alone. The German army is after the powers of these millennia-old Pillar Men. Soon, they will awaken. Sunlight alone will not be enough. If we do not find another weapon, humanity will be lost! That is why we had to experiment with Santana. Events fifty years ago have destined you to fight the Pillar Men! Joestar, your Hamon is too weak to overcome them! Go to Rome! Someone awaits you there! Speedwagon knows this person well!"

Stroheim's body moved farther from you and Joseph., "H-He's controlling my body and trying to make me hide in the well! But soon I'll blow my body open and give Santana a shot of the sun!" He pulled the pin with his teeth before spitting it onto the floor.

"Stroheim, you..."

The soldier chuckled, "Human greatness is in proudly facing one's fears. Those are the words of Greek historian Plutarch. Farewell...you damned Englishman. And (Y/N), may you one day find peace."

You and Joseph ran towards him, you couldn't see him die so soon! Neither of you managed a single step before he exploded. The force of it knocked both of you back several paces.

"That damned soldier! Trying to show off..."

You slammed your fist into the ground, "Damn it all!"

You heard a faint cracking sound and looked up to see the form of Santana's split body appearing rather indifferent to the whole scenario. Joseph shouted the Pillar Man's name as he stood up.

The Pillar Man flung himself once again at the Joestar, "Get out of my way! If you don't only death awaits you, JoJo!"

Joseph steadied his breathing and his fist made contact with Santana's. The force of it knocked the Hamon user towards the well. "Move it! You were doomed from the start!"

"Seems like your forgetting someone, Santana!" Your blood pulled Joseph out of the way. Other strands had wrapped around the Pillar Man's body and dug into the mouth of the well, keeping him suspended in the air.

"Wh-What?!" He struggled in the bindings but the sun above and the reflection of it in the water allowed for a fairly quick cook time. You carefully lifted the now petrified Pillar Man and set it onto the ground outside the well.

Joseph pulled you into a hug, his body was still shaking slightly so you rubbed his back to comfort him. At least the current threat was over. Maybe one of these days you'll actually get to eat at the places the Joestar invites you to. But for now, the two of you just enjoyed the silence. Hopefully things would be peaceful for a while.

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