"..huh?"
That was the only thing that escaped his mouth, he felt stupid responding like that, but he wasn't prepared. Dipper wasn't so ready to meet the males eyes, but here he was, making eye contact with the blonde.
Was Dipper finally conscious and aware?
No.
The brunette was still a bit..fuzzy after the affection he was shown by Vincent, who left. A part of him wanted to go back to the black haired male, to forget everyone else, to be able to feel comfort, but another part of him was desperately trying to be aware of the situation. His eyes were tiredly open, he was exhausted, but it was reasonable as he did literally have a meltdown a few minutes ago..he was conscious after that. Dipper was truly himself after that, he actually liked it. He wanted it. He dreaded for control over himself, but right when he heard Vincent..he suddenly changed? He hated it. Hated how touch starved he was, hated how easily he changed, hated how everything was so loud..yet so silent to the point it killed him.
He felt the way his body trembled slightly, his legs couldn't carry himself, he knew that, but that didn't stop him from trying. The way his eyes were so close to closing, he felt like he was in a dream. A cloudy dream in which he would only feel the soft and gentle touches..Vincents touches. His gentle actions spoke louder than his own words, he could still feel the way the male showed him affection. As if it wouldn't leave his body, he liked that, he wanted more..he needed more. Maybe he could get more-
Mason immidietly shook his head softly, as if it would shake away his thoughts. He saw his process overall, he could tell he was getting worse, he knew it. That logical side of him knew this wasn't healthy, Dipper knew this wasn't the way he should be acting about others, but he felt himself barely gaining conscious. He could barely feel apart of himself finally gaining control, but it slowly disappeared. He tried his best to grip onto conscious, Dipper wanted to be in control again, he wouldn't let his touch starve self harm him in such a way..
He didn't want this.
With that, he immidietly let his arms let go of him. He knew the way he hugged himself would only make him more touch starved, he knew anyones touch would make him go marbles..he wouldn't allow it. He just couldn't! He liked the way he softened, he loved how he felt anytime he was praised in the slightest, but..he was scared. Scared that anyone could just take control of him so easily. He was terrified..yet so, so desperate.
"..Dipper? C'mon, let's get you inside. I'll get you a glass of water, okay?" Ruby suddenly spoke to him again. He stared at her movements, each inch she moved towards him, the way her face softened with each step she took. She looked as motherly as always, he knew he could trust her. He wanted to. She was really the only one that hadn't left him..she stuck by his side. No wonder he was so attached to her.
The female slowly made her way to the brunette, her gaze never averted away. She didn't know what was entirely wrong with him, she never did, but she knew parts of it. She knew the way Dipper seemed to have argued with himself mentally, with his choices, with his actions, with his entire behavior. She wouldn't call it a mental problem, but she always saw how paranoid Mason was when it came to decisions. There was the part of him that was overly submissive, terrified, almost numb at this point, barely conscious of himself, and just overwhelmed. And then there was the other part of him..the Dipper she knew. The Dipper she grew up with. He wasn't such an extrovert, but he always knew how to make someone smile. Always curious over things that could've been overlooked at, always aware of any situation, a mind like no other. He was more logical, he knew what was wrong and right. He knew how to take care of himself..but..she didn't think Dipper was even aware of his surroundings as of now. Maybe he just needed some time, but..her gaze seemed to have softened even more, a face of sympathy (maybe even pity) formed.
Right when she reached out her hand to him..he backed away. Almost like a flinch. Like an instinct.
Dipper backed away from Ruby.
The brunette stared at her with widened eyes now, he himself was suprised at how easily he backed away. He was more shocked of himself that he flinched because of Ruby? No. That just didn't sound right. He looked away from her in guilt, his facial expression seeming more scared each minute. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to snap himself out of this..stupid behavior he put on. Maybe he did need water, he hasn't stayed so hydrated.
"..okay.." He could feel the way his weak voice went up from his vocal cords, as if he could feel his entire body system. He felt a bit more aware, aware of how he worked, but not his own state. He let out another sigh in frustration, his hands formed into fists slowly. He repeated the action of his fists clenching and letting go of themselves. Trying to see if he can control himself, but, well his actions seemed a bit weaker.
With that, he slowly walked past Ruby. He didn't want to, but he knew he needed to. He needed to knock some sense into himself, he knew this entire situation was stupid. His behavior was out of place, he was literally killing himself slowly! Even his own manager told him what he was doing wasn't healthy! He didn't like admitting it in reality, but his mental state wasn't getting any better. He just was getting worse. His manager left him so helpless and desperate, he was becoming overly submissive, and he now had someome that knew how to just switch his entire behavior in one simple touch! He didn't want this- hell, he didn't even think this would happen! He knew he would starve himself, but not to this point!..he knew what he was doing. He was aware from time to time, aware of his surroundings and attitude. He just didn't know how to get himself to be aware forever. He was always losing conscious of himself, just blanking out entirely and letting his instincts take over.
The others stared as he walked past them, walking back into the shack while theh just stood in bewilderment or silent shock. Even Ruby was speechless, she didn't think Dipper would ever backs way from her. It just seemed impossible, but here she was, staring in overall fear for the brunette. She sighed to herself, knowing Dipper, she knew he and his thoughts were a bit complicated probably. She's never heard them or given an actual example, but she knew his mental thoughts pratically killed him.
She finally followed Mason, walking towards the shack as the others followed. Each were in their own train of thoughts, Bill wasn't even prepared to face Mason. He knew he could act prepared, but he sure as hell wasn't so confident in talking to him. He was worried about the outcomes, worried about how Dipper would even react. What if he couldn't be able to talk the brunette into speaking to them again? What would he do then? He shook his head softly, he didn't need to overwhelm himself. It would only make his situation entirely worse.
Each walked into the silent shack, it was a deafening silence that honestly killed them, but no one seemed to want to disrupt it. Will decided to sit on the couch for meanwhile, and Pyronica simply say on the couches arm rest. The blonde on the other hand stood, he didn't know what to do in all honesty. It was a first, he usually always knew how to take control or just what to do in such a complicated situation, but here he was. Stuck in his train of thoughts.
The brunette? Oh, he was back in the kitchen. He had already gotten himself a glass of water, he didn't want to bother Ruby for just simple water. He also was a bit nervous in all honesty, yet he still seemed out of it. He still seemed stuck in trance.
Masons soft eyes stared at the water, both his hands held onto the glass. He didnt bother to sit, he just stood in the area. His eyes observing any small detail, the way the liquid was slowly shaking as his hands trembled. He stared at the reflection of the water, seeing a small reflection of him, he looked like a mess. He never liked seeing himself, it always frightened him, but..he continued staring at it.
Who did he see?..he couldn't answer that. He didn't know who he was. He never did- well he did before all this disaster, but that was in the past. Now. He just couldn't seem to see himself in his own reflection, each second he saw himself, he found himself seeming more like a stranger. A person he barely met. He saw several people in his reflection, he saw a glance of Mabel. Whenever he was Mabel he always despised having to put on those stupid hair extensions, they were always uncomfortable. He hated even more of the fact that he had to even put on a dress from time to time, he didn't disagree with cross dressing, but it just wasn't his thing. He wanted to put clothes that made him comfortable, dresses or skirts just weren't one of those..he then would see Mason in his reflection. The Mason that his mother put him out to be, the part of him that was barely conscious. The one that just took the beating with no hesitation, the one that his mother fucked up greatly. The one that could've grown out to be himself, but his manager prevented it..he never liked the name Mason. It reminded him about how his mother said it with venom, the way his manager despised saying it. She just seemed to dislike him, but not to the point she would disown him..sometimes he wished he could hate her. He wished he would actually loathe her, but he just couldn't, he loved his manager. Cared about her. He wanted to make her happy, and he would do whatever it took..even if it meant having to get harmed in any form..
And then he would see Dipper.
Dipper was the one he wanted to be. The one he truly was, he knew that Dipper was himself. It wasn't anyone else. Dipper was someone that didn't belong to his mother, he was someone that wasn't changed by his manager, he was someone that never happened to change for anyone. He probably only liked the name Dipper, it was a name that would confuse him when he was little, but he recalled when he was told onto why it was his middle name. He had a strange birthmark on his forehead- obviously he wasn't a fan of it. He didn't hate it, but he just found it odd. His mother use to say how it made him unique in his own way- bullshit. He had to always cover it, even if he was himself. He covered it on purpose, but he had to literally cover it with foundation when it came to disguising as Mabel. That stupid birthmark would've been the biggest hint of who he was if he never covered it, but..sadly he did. He never questioned his managers actions. He always wanted to stay as Dipper, just be completely aware and conscious of himself, but it never happened. He wasnt ever Dipper for a complete day, he panicked whenever his attitude switched. It was stupid, but it was true. He hated how he couldn't completely call himself Dipper.
He just wanted to be someone.
He was someone. He knew he was. He just had to find himself harder.
He took a deep breath, sighing softly as he took in the air. He let his eyes slowly open more, he let his body finally soften, not in a bad way..more in a comfortable way. He felt his hands stop shaking slowly, he felt the way his body slowly began to be in control. He let his own thoughts comfort him, not the toxic ones. Just himself. He comforted himself. He wasn't in anyone's control anymore, his manager was finally gone. Vincent was fine. Ruby was someone he could trust. He was fine. He was finally alright.
He was back in control.
Dipper let his eyes open normally, they weren't half open or tiredly open, they were back to normal. His body was obviously still tired, but his mind was back in control. Well..for now. He knew he couldn't entirely be mentally stable, he was aware of that, but he was relieved that a part of him was still alive. Dipper was still apart of him, he was back. He wasn't gone, his logic wasn't slowly dying, his hope wasn't dead. Himself, his actual self, he was slowly becoming real again. He wasn't some small piece of hope that would easily die, he was himself, he was the one in full control over himself-
"-ipper? Mason!" A sudden voice from behind caused him to flinch and let out a small yelp, almost letting go of the glass he held, but he thankfully clutched onto it. He turned around, seeing Ruby who stared at him in worry. Raising an eyebrow as a way to say he questioned what she needed.
"Oh- sorry, but you were just..spacing out a lot? Are you..are you okay?" She seemed to have kept her distance, as if she knew where his space bubble was. He was quite thankful for that, he didn't think he was wanting to be touched. He feared that it would make his behavior switch, he feared that his touch starved self would suddenly take control.
With that, he responded in a more soft voice, "Ah-..yes. Yea-yeah, I'm alright, Ruby. Sorry if I worried you, I was just..thinking."
Her eyes widened at his tone- she knew where the tone came from. Dipper was literally the only one that had the most softest and gentle voice she has ever heard, she could probably fall asleep by it. She let a small smile form on her lips, sighing as she laid her hand on her hip.
"Alrighty. I was real worried, Dipper. I don't know what was going through your mind, but I won't question your actions. Um..I know you're not in the best state, but that Bill guy over there wants to still talk to you. You two can discuss upstairs in private if it's that important, but I won't hesitate to throw blondie out the window if he tries to pull some stunt, alright?" She smirked while leaning against the counter, but she tried her best to not seem overly worried. She knew her fears always made Dipper overthink such, he was always the type of person that didn't like people being overly concerned for him. It just made him overwhelmed, she remembered the first time she acted way too worried. They were only 14, but he literally cried because of how guilty he felt.
Dipper let out a small giggle escape his mouth, that woman always knew how to make him smile even the slightest, but his small smile immidietly faltered at the thought of having to speak to the blonde. Now he was anxious, fucking terrified. Maybe even paranoid. He wasn't scared of Bill per say, but he sure was now a bit wary over him. The brunette knew about the rule the guy gave him, he actually took it seriously. First time he broke the rule he thought he would be dead meat, he wasn't ready to face the guy, that literally gave him a command (in which he BROKE), from face to face. He never was someone to run away from any small confrontation or even something that was needed to be spoken of, but he was ready to run away in a second. It was also a bit difficult to not dislike Bill, he didn't hate him, but he just didn't trust him anymore? He knew it was bad to hide himself being apart of the Pines, so he couldn't blame Bill for hating him and full on shout at him, but..he was just more upset at how easily the blonde let go of him. How easily they left him. How easy it took to hate him. He was more upset at that. That's really it. And anyways, he just couldn't break a rule..but maybe he could just listen to Bill.
"..oh. U-uh, alright? I'll be upstairs, I guess? I-..I'll be in my room for awhile, Bill can come up whenever he's ready I supp-suppose.." With that, Dipper hurriedly drank his water and immediately set the glass on the counter. He was refreshed, but it didn't help the anxious feeling that was increasing at a fast rate. After that, he left, not even sparing a glance towards anyone. He just focused on whatever was ahead of him, he needed to take a deep breath.
With each step upstairs, he could feel his fear heightened. He wasn't ready to see the blonde, wasn't even ready to hear him, but he couldn't really control what happened. He was more worried about what Bill wanted to speak about. Was it because he broke the rule? Did he want to talk about the consequences- oh anything, but that. He's rather talk about a super uncomfortable topic then any punishments.
Bill was still stuck in his mind. He was still spacing out, meanwhile Will and Pyronica were having a quiet conversation. He was rather frustrated, confused, a bit furious. He didn't have an idea of what to say, his crew wants him to convince the guy to trust them or continue talking to them? How the hell was he supposed to do that, hell, if he sounded more furious he thinks he'll just scare the shit out of Mason. He wasn't the best when it came to "apologies" or really facing the fact that he was wrong- which he wasn't. He wasn't necessarily in the right either when it came to how he spoke to the brunette before. Was he harsh? Yes. Ruthless, but did he have reasons?..kinda. He couldn't answer that. He just wanted to get this over with. If that stupid Vincent guy minded his own business then this entire thing wouldn't have happened, Dipper wouldn't have talked to them and they would mind their own separate ways. He knew Mason literally starved himself and probably didn't even sleep, but he was confident that the guy would've gotten better if Ruby just supported him as usual. Nothing would've changed, right? He didn't know.
"Dippers upstairs if you need him..or well up in the attic? Well he's up in the attic in which his bedroom is in- gosh that was stupid..anyways, you can go talk to him whenever you're ready. Maybe give him a minute or so, I think he just needs a minute to himself probably..even though he's had way too many hours to himself." Ruby spoke up to him, muttering the last part as she let out a sigh. He only nodded in response as she walked away, the silence filling the room again- well apart from the one quiet conversation.
What could he say? He couldn't just flat out tell the brunette, "Hey, sorry I literally cussed you out and told you to never speak or look at us, but ya gotta speak to us again." Yeah, that didn't sound so good. What if he freaked the guy out? Will did tell him how terrified he looked by just his voice, that didn't sound so swell and it probably now made things a bit more complicated. He sure as hell hoped that the brunette wasn't scared shitless by them, maybe he knocked some sense to him. Would the blonde have to be aggressive? He didn't know, but he thought it was best to just go along with whatever played out.
•♡•
Bill took a deep breath, letting his worries disappear with just a sigh. He was barely in front of the door of Masons bedroom, staring at the wooden texture as he debated whether to even speak to him. He knew he would get a bashful of complaints from his crew if he didn't do so, but he also knew he would get beaten up with no mercy if he made a mistake when speaking. Was he ready? Absolutely not, but he was Bill Cipher. He was prepared for anything, right?
"..just go and speak, its not that hard, Cipher.." Whispering to himself as if it would give him some confidence, usually he was always prepared to confront anyone, but..was this really confrontation? Because he sure didn't remember it being so hard to even speak, he was a bit nervous. It was stupid and even more weird, he didn't like it, but what could he do-
Then the thing he really hoped wouldn't happened..happened. Dipper opened the door before he could even knock. Now he probably looked weird..he cursed mentally.
Their eyes met unexpectedly, the brunette backed away quickly after finally realizing who it was. Bill just stood there like an idiot.
"Uh..hey. Let's have a chat, can I come in or..?" The blonde finally spoke up, trying his best to maintain eye contact, but the male kept looking away from him. It really did feel like he was the plague, and Mason was trying his absolute best avoiding him.
Dipper only nodded softly, finally opening the door widely for him to enter, he walked towards his bed, sitting at the edge as he shuffled around slightly. He heard noise outside, or well some small muffled voice, it was barely noticeable, but he wasn't in a loud area..so it was a bit obvious. He thought he would open the door to see Ruby, he didn't expect Bill- sure he knew the blonde wanted to speak to him, but he honestly thought the Ciphers would just give up and leave. He didn't think Bill would just be..standing outside of his bedroom.
"I-..okay, so I didn't fully plan this, but here's just one thing to keep in mind. We did come here for a reason- not with bad intentions though! So just..calm down a bit." The deep gentle voice didn't really soothe him one bit, it made him more anxious. He just nodded again, what was he suppose to do? Respond? No- he wasn't allowed to the last time he checked. And if he broke a rule in front of the person that gave it, he pratically would be wishing for a death wish! He's never had someone other then his manager give him specific orders or rules to follow, but Bill was the first person to break that expectation. He actually was a bit stunned that the blonde came over to speak, even though he knew what he said to him- he was confused. A bit stressed, maybe even scared. What did the blonde want? How did his visit benefit anyone? Was he even to talk or did he come here to test whether he would even follow his command or not..so many unanswered questions that just passed his mind.
His eyes averted to where Bill stood, he was leaning against the door frame, just staring at him with emotions he couldn't really answer. He immediately looked away, afraid that he would be caught. Dipper sighed mentally. Waiting till the blonde finally spoke.
"I-..I'm here to talk about what happened back at the restaurant. The whole argument incident, " Dipper stiffened, his hands clutched onto the sheets as he sat, trying his best to not even panic, " we both may have had a bit of a..misunderstanding? Look, Mason. I'm not here to cause a fight or argue, but I'm just here to say that I didn't mean to literally avoid us like we're serial killers. I may or may have not been a bit heated while shouting, I'll say that, but my crew was a bit pissed at me after finding out what I said."
Dipper only stared at him in slight surprise, he could feel his emotions suddenly change slowly. He didn't know what to feel about following a rule that didn't even exist, what was he to do now? He's always obeyed an instruction with no questions asked, he's never broke it..kind of. He's already adapted to the order, he couldn't just forget about it! Each rule was attached to him, each one couldn't be forcibly removed. Even if the person that gave it stopped it, he just adapted to the lifestyle quickly..he couldn't forget about it in a snap. He continued to listen to Bill.
"Now, I'm sure you already know that you and Will saw eachother this morning..or early morning. And I'm not mad about it, I'm just a bit surprised? Anyways, Wills worried about you. Same goes for Pyronica. He saw how you were and immediately wanted to go back to you..for several reasons. I don't think I should really tell you some since I think you're stressed enough. Just..just talk to us, Mason. Ruby's worried shitless, and Pyronica will probably beat me up if I don't convince you to continue seeing them. Okay?"
Silence.
That's all Bill got.
Dipper..Mason- no. Gosh the brunette hated that name, he was furious. Dipper was pissed, confused, more likely stressed. He was pissed at Bill- he knew the others worried for him, but the blonde seriously only came up to tell him this for them? Both situations would've ended up horribly either way, but..Bill? The blonde was the first he's ever closed up to in his entire life, other than Ruby, he was really the only other person that comforted him..and he just didn't care? He only did this for them, not because Bill himself was worried or even gave just the slightest care, but only because everyone else told him so..
He shook his head. That was the first response he gave Bill.
"Wh- Mason, you don't need my permission to speak, just tell my why not."
The blondies eyebrows furrowed, he honestly thought what he said wasn't too bad, but maybe that was just a part of his ego telling hem so. He didn't know whether or not he would make the situation worse, but he decided to give it a try. With that, he walked towards Mason, standing in front of him to stare at him. He finally spoke again.
"Mason, my crew is worried sick and won't get off my ass. What I said to you should just be forgotten, it shouldn't be a big deal. They still want to help you, they don't hate you. Nothings going to happen if you speak to any of us, just tell me why the hell you still won't speak." Trying his best to not fume, he only let out a sigh. With each minute passing, he only got more frustrated.
The brunette only stared at him, with an emotion he couldn't describe. Dipper was..infuriated. He couldn't believe what Bill even said, he really just came up here to tell him this just so everyone would stop bothering him? He found it reasonable- but god it hurt knowing that the blonde clearly did not a single care. Why was he even here? Why couldn't Will have spoke to him about this? Why couldn't have Pyronica spoke to him about this? So what if Bill was the one the did the rule? They could've found some other way to convince him- no..he couldn't blame them. He couldn't even blame Bill. He knew they found it a bit hard to really understand his thought process, more of his behaviors were off and he's been starving for awhile. He knew it was stressful for Ruby..he knew he was making her worry, and he didn't want to make her overly concerned. He didn't want her to get any issues because of her stress, he didn't want anyone else getting harmed because of him-
Suddenly, a hand tried to reach out for his shoulder, causing him to immidietly back away. Almost laying down on his bed, but his arms kept balance on him. Immidietly he looked up at Bill in surprise, he could already see the confusion shown up on his face.
Mason..Dipper, he didn't want to change anymore. He didn't want to go back to being a lifeless toy that was only picked up when needed, he didn't want to be that stupid boy that couldn't thinks for himself..he didn't want someone controlling him again. It scared him.
He was scared.
Scared of having to be used again.
He didn't want to feel like he was drowning again, he didn't want to feel the way his air was limited, he didn't want to feel the feeling of needing to breakdown, but something was silencing him..he didn't want to be that kind of Dipper anymore. He was back, confused, but he was conscious and aware. It calmed him down, he was still here..he was still Dipper.
"..don't touch me.." He finally spoke up. His shaky voice was noticed, but not spoken of. He could already hear the small ringing getting louder, it was muffled awhile ago, but now it felt like he was trying to run away from that deafening ringing that only got closer to him anytime he felt weaker. He didn't like the noise anymore, it didn't comfort him, he didn't even want to hear it. The ringing reminded him of a death bed, when in the hospital as a patient dies, when someone pulls the plug. The ring reminded him of death, a thing he wanted, but he knew he was scared of. He didn't want to hear it anymore, but god that stupid noise always came back. He might've ripped his ears off.
"Wh-..alright, okay I won't. Just..Mason, tell me why you won't speak to them. You're allowed to now, nothings stopping you-" Bills question was immidietly interrupted by the brunette who finally snapped. He was done with having to be silenced, having to be afraid, having to shut his mouth anytime someone wanted him to. He was done. He wanted to stand up for himself, oh god he was pissed.
"It isn't that easy, Bill!" As of now, he was already back to sitting, he could only feel his stress and anxiety building up, but he didn't bother to care. He didn't bother to care about how Bill stared at him, he didn't bother to care about how he would probably get hit for snapping back, he didn't care about breaking a rule Bill gave him. The blonde didn't care, so why should he? He was too scared to even speak to the Ciphers, but Bill? Bill was the one that set the rule, so yeah..why not file a complaint?
"What the hell do you mean not easy? You're talking to me now-"
"Because you're the one that gave me the demand! I do the same thing with my manager, if I'm given a rule I can't just let go of it! I've gotten so use to that lifestyle, and you just expect me to ''let go''? I can't just stop, Bill.."
"If you can speak to me then you can speak to them! Its simple, Mason. Just stop avoiding them like the fucking plague! I was sent here for a reason, so just go for it! I don't care if you speak to them anymore, do whatever you want! Im giving you permission."
"Bullshit. It isn't siMplE, Cipher! I know that if I go and speak to them, then I would immediately panic. Im probably speaking to you because you're the one that assigned the command to me! I can't speak to the ones I'm not allowed to- and I can't just already speak to your crew like I'm living my own life! How the hell do you guys just expect me to talk to any of you after that?! You all..you all just let go of me after knowing I was apart of the Pines. All of you're opinions changed after you learned that I was a Pines. That's ridiculous.." Mason stood up, the blonde backed away slightly to give him space, but they continued going back and forth.
"You can't blame us for that, Mason! You're stupid family ruined me! Spreading false rumors as if it's a simple game, they're childish and I hate them entirely! How could I not confront you after learning you were apart of them?-"
Dipper scoffed, letting out a dry laugh as he ran his hand through his hair, "You were all being biased! You just thought that I would even trust any of you again after that? You just expect me to talk to any of you so easily? I understand that you're unknown rule is now useless, but even so..how can I still even speak to any of you if I know that you'll all just turn on me so easily?"
"Yes! I expect you to just let them talk to you! You don't need to avoid them, Mason-"
"Stop calling me that stupid name! I'm not Mason!-"
"Yes you are! What the hell are you talking about?! We found out your identity, you don't need to hide from us anymore! What I said back then, you can forget easily! It isn't that hard to do so."
"My identity is barely apart of my problems! There is so many things you don't know of, so don't speak like you know what the hell is going on with my life! And you just expect me to forget what you said so easily?! Really?! I can't just let the fact that you insulted my sister slide!-"
"What I said about you're sister wasn't a lie! I spoke the truth, and even you can't deny it. And I sure as hell do know whats going on, you literally starved yourself for two fucking weeks and I'm guessing you probably have an abusive mother, am I wrong?!"
Silence followed.
Dipper only stared at the blonde in utter fury and shock, he really did just hear that correctly. The brunette was done, he was done with having to hear Bill just say stuff about his sister so easily, he was done with the blonde and everyone in his crew thinking they knew what was wrong, he was tired with having to stay shut. He was done with just standing there and let this all happen, he was officially pissed. He couldn't just let Bill go off at him like that, as if.
"..you really think you're in the right, don't you? Bill, I can't just forget everything you said. What happened back there really affected me-"
"Which wasn't any of my intentions-" The blonde was again interrupted by the brunette who silenced him.
"Shut up for once, Cipher. The way I reacted was normal and valid, you can't just say shit like that as if it'll make everything better! You..you insulted my sister. The person I grew up with. Saying stuff like she's a brat or any of that nonsense, I don't agree with her, but she's still my family! Her actions have reasons, Bill. And I'm not going to just let your words slide so easily."
"Oh, look at that! You're only defending her because she's your family-"
"AND?! Obviously I'm going to defend her! I love her! She's my twin, how can i just hate her?! I get that she spreaded rumors, but that wasn't willingly!"
"Oh really? How would you know? That sister of yours spreaded rumors about me and then did it again and later on acted as if she never knew me! You really think I can let THAT go?!"
"When she said she didn't know you, she didn't mean to make you pissed! That wasn't my- HER intentions! I know because I'm literally apart of their business! The whole spreading rumors wasn't her choice to make, Bill."
"Well looks like we're both in the wrong! Now enough chatting about her since I'm clearly pissed, why the hell can't you just let what I said go?! It isn't that hard, you're overreacting!"
Mason only stood there, clear disgust and fury shown on his facial expression. He let out a laugh, a laugh so fake, yet filled with so much pain and sorrow. He really was outstanded, he could only feel his breathing shaken and slowly get in a faster pace. He was so close to punching Cipher, but he sighed mentally. He didn't need to go towards violence, but he couldn't just leave the blonde with no answers. That'll only make the situation look childish.
With another sigh, he looked directly towards Bill. Speaking with no hesitation. "I'm overreacting? How the fuck could you say that, Bill? You..you accused me of being sent by my manager. Even after seeing me breakdown in front of you all, even after your crew patched up my bruises, you still accused me of being a fake..you insulted my very own sister and manager as if that was meaningless. What you said may have been seen as small, but god, Bill..that really hurt. I-..I really thought I was in the wrong. I felt so horrible for just being a Pines..I blamed myself. I thought I was the one that only hurt anyone I knew. I thought I was a shitty person! And I know I kind of am, but fuck..I was scared to even speak to anyone, but then I met you. I met you're group." His eyes softened, he really did like the crew, but he sure as hell couldn't forget what happened. He continued, a small smile plastered on his face as it was the only thing he could do.
"You guys, I wanted to trust you all so much. Hell, I thought you were the one I needed to reach out to, but then..you just snapped. You made me feel horrible for something I couldn't control..Bill, I get that you don't like the Pines, but I didn't ask to be apart of the family. The Pines are fucked up in the head, we're a mess, I get that, but..that doesn't mean we wanted everything we did. I can't fix what they did to you, I didn't even know they did that. Only ones that did know would be Mabel and my manager, but I do know that my sister wouldn't want to do that. She's can be asshole, but she isn't always a shitty person. She still has a heart, I just know it. I only knew what they did after that interview.." The brunette finally took a moment to breath in. He looked to the side as he got a bit anxious from having to look at the male, but he tried his best to not seem scared.
He felt stupid now, maybe even childish, this entire argument was stupid. He didn't think it was Bills intentions to make him pissed, he needed to acknowledge that in which he did! But..he also acknowledged about this whole retarded events, he couldn't just ignore the fact that he blamed himself for so many things he never even caused just because of Bill and his choice of words..yet that still wasnt Bills fault. He knew that. His anger or fury was pointless, he should've been pissed a long time ago..now his own emotions about the entire things wad useless. He didn't need anger within him, but he didn't need to forgive the Ciphers again, right?
Maso-Dipper. Dipper let a small frown form on his lips, he didn't want it to be obvious, but he couldn't help it. Looking up at the eyes of Bill, he gently spoke. He didn't need to result into screaming again just to prove his points.
"..I'm not mad at the fact that you said those things. I know it wasn't your intentions to let those things affect me- I know that now, but..what you still did was unexceptional. I can't just forgive you after that stunt you pulled, I can't just forget what you said, and I sure as hell can't see myself forgiving you. I'm sorry, Bill, but after all that..", the brunette sighed. Walking towards his bedroom door, he passed the blonde who stayed in put. Maybe out of shock? He didn't know, but he didn't question. Dipper knew being unforgiving was an asshole move to do, but..he really didn't know who to trust anymore. Vincent was wary as hell, his own mother hated him, his sister was heavily affected by their mother, his father left him with no goodbye, he didn't know when Ruby would ditch him, and the Ciphers were biased against him. After all that. How else could he respond? He couldn't just accept that reason, hell, the guy didn't even apologize. He was so done just being so desperate for help, he was done with people suddenly leaving him, he was done with himself. He needed some space. He didn't know who to trust..
Right when he was close to the door frame, he spoke up again after the silence before closing the door and leaving Bill standing there, unresponsive to his last words to him that morning.
"Its going to be a bit harder for me to trust you all."