罪有应得
Zuì yǒu yīng dé
One deserves one's punishment.
The punishment fits the crime.
*~*~*~*~*~*
When I realized Captain Duan meant to tie me up with the corpse, I began to struggle again, revulsion adding strength to my limbs.
"Oh? Why so unwilling? You should have thought harder before you committed your crime." The captain laughed and threw me down against the battlements beside the corpse.
Struggling to sit up against the battlements, I looked to where Captain Duan stood above me, fiddling with the ropes that tied the corpse to the post.
The corpse swayed in the wind. In the light of the stars, I saw that its arms were stretched out of shape, distorted by the weight of their own body. Most of the hair had fallen from the head, and the scalp that showed through was weathered and dried like leather.
I could not see the chest from where I was, but I suspected from the way the ribs caved in at the waist that the birds had already picked the innards clean.
The smell of the corpse, even in the cold night wind, caused bile to rise in my throat. I quashed it. I could not afford to feel nauseous now. If I could just get away, get back to the prince, I knew Sanli would keep me from being subjected to this excessive punishment.
I looked back, along the way Captain Duan had dragged me. The door was still open, its black mouth yawning, welcoming me back down into the warm belly of the fortress. Along the the opposite direction, the battlements ended abruptly. There would be no way down there.
The battlements we stood on were less than a length wide. On the outer side, a raised wall of about a length rose, and it was this wall my back was propped against. Wind whipped over the top of the wall and down into the courtyard, threatening to pull anyone who lost their balance to the stones below.
The battlements were too narrow for me to try and push my way past the captain. And even if I managed to pass him, he would catch me and drag me back.
I felt panic and despair creeping within my insides, whispering for me to give in, to stop struggling and accept my punishment. It would be cold, and vile, and humiliating, but it would not kill me. I would survive it.
No. I will not submit to such punishment. I will not accept it.
I slid my hand down my leg, into my remaining boot.
Luckily, it was the one I kept my knife in.
"Why are you doing this?" I gasped, trying to sound out of breath and desperate. It was not hard.
"You've committed a crime. Of course, you must be punished," the captain replied, eyes still on the knots of the ropes, fingers struggling to loosen them. "Oh curses. It looks like I'll have to tie you up here with him. Hope you don't mind."
Captain Duan smiled, eyes meeting my own. He bent down and reached for me.
I drew my knife and plunged it into his shoulder, just at the gap in his leather armor.
He gave a grunt that I heard in my right ear as I dashed past him. The battlement stone was cold and rough beneath my one bare foot, and the freezing wind stung my eyes.
I had taken four leaping steps when I felt a hand catch my wrist and pull me back with a tug so forceful I was sure my arm had been pulled from the socket.
I cried out in pain and shock as the captain used his inhuman strength to swing me out over the courtyard below, my feet kicking air for a moment, and then slammed me back against the battlements below the corpse, where I had been a moment before.
Damn it. Damn it to seven hells.
I crawled backward on my hands and knees, though I knew there was no escape behind me. I watched as, calmly, slowly, as if he was doing no more than pulling a splinter from his palm, Captain Duan pulled my knife from his shoulder.
"Thank you. This will help with the knots," the man said, turning to saw away at the ropes with my knife. Then he stopped, and glanced at his bleeding shoulder. "But you know, just for that I think I'll tie you to your fellow thief here. You can enjoy each other's company for the night."
He reached for me, hand slick with his own blood, and I recoiled backwards, knowing I did not have much farther to go. The walkway dropped away only a few lengths behind me.
"Come now," said the captain. Patiently. Almost kindly. "It is just for one night."
My eyes widened. There was something wrong with him. I had intentionally sunk my knife deep into the tender flesh near a joint, and yet the captain had shown no pain as he withdrew it.
And his voice, that had been almost frenzied earlier, had grown gentle. As though he was remonstrating with a naughty child.
He is insane, I realized.
When I made no move toward him, Captain Duan's brows lowered, and the manic light entered his eyes once more. My knife glinted red with his blood in the starlight as he brandished it at me.
"Come," he growled forcefully, and stepped toward me.
I shook my head and climbed backwards, onto the battlements. I would rather risk falling from here than suffer the humiliation of such a punishment at this man's hands.
Captain Duan must have read my intention, because he darted forward with surprising speed. His fingers curled around my wrist before I could move.
"Don't move!"
The voice rang out, through the howl of the wind. I glanced frantically toward it. Kageyama was standing further along the battlements. The wind whipped his loosely tied hair around his shoulders, and pulled at his black clothing.
The kitsune's sword had appeared in one hand, and I saw a gleam of steel where he had begun to unsheathe it with his thumb.
Captain Duan's fingers tightened painfully around my wrist. "Ah, Lord Kageyama. An honor. You are just in time to help me punish this thief."
Kageyama's dark eyes were shadowed by his brows, but I thought they burned for a moment. He took a step toward us. "Release the boy, dog."
I knew then what Captain Duan was. A Daquan. A member of the Great Dog clan.
I thought of the way he had snarled against my neck earlier, of the savage gleam in his eyes, that was replaced by calm judgement mere moments later.
A mad dog.
"And will you punish him?" asked Captain Duan, gripping my wrist tighter, painfully tight. "A crime is a crime, and it must not go unchecked."
"And what crime is he accused of?" asked Kageyama. He took another step toward us.
"He took rolls from the kitchen." Then, at Kageyama's scoff, "Perhaps it does not seem much to you, Lord Kageyama, coming from the valley with all its wealth. But for us poor starving creatures out here in the plains, stealing food is the worst of offenses."
"Forgive his crime. Prince Sanli will see whatever he took is replaced," said Kageyama, stepping closer.
Captain Duan sighed. "I wish I could. Alas, I am but a loyal servant, following the orders of my superiors. Thieves must be punished." I tried to pull my wrist from his hand, but the man's fingers only tightened further, painfully grinding the bones of my wrist.
"I outrank you and your commander, as do my orders. Hand the boy over to me, now," said Kageyama, more than a hint of a growl in his own voice.
Captain Duan smiled. "No."
"Let my page go!"
The new voice rang out along the battlements, shrill in it's panic. Captain Duan stood close on the narrow walkway and I could not see much beyond him and Kageyama, but I knew it was Sanli.
Kageyama whirled, and Sanli came into view, striding along the battlements toward us. Tenzetsuto was bared and bloody in one hand, glinting under the stars. I could not see well in the dark of night but I knew from the way the prince held his hand that his seal was in the other.
The prince's face was pale in the moonlight, and it was angry.
"I told you to stay in the room with Zakhar!" I heard Kageyama snap, as the wind carried his voice my way. Then the wind whipped in another direction, and all I could do was try as best I could to read the prince's lips as he and Kageyama had a heated discussion.
A gust of freezing wind swept across the plains, buffeting us. As one, the four of us on the wall swayed in its force.
Then something strange happened. Despite the fact that Captain Duan's fingers were painfully crushing my wrist, despite the fact that my body was numb with cold and an unpleasant punishment loomed before me, I could think only of Sanli.
I thought of the prince, out here in the cold wind, with steep falls on either side of him. Falls that would certainly kill a human.
And suddenly, I did not much care what happened to me, as long as the prince got inside safely.
How strange, for such a thought to cross my selfish mind.
Without meaning to, I took a step toward the prince. The Daquan pulled me back, roughly tugging on my wrist.
Sanli stepped past Kageyama, eyes on me. "Whatever punishment my page has earned, I will take it in his ste—"
"You most certainly will not," snapped Kageyama, pushing Sanli behind him once more. "I am not freezing up here any longer over something as ridiculous as a few stolen rolls. Give me the girl!"
Captain Duan froze. "Girl?"
He pulled my wrist to his nose and sniffed it. Then, to my disgust, he licked the back of my hand.
"Let GO!" I said, trying to pull away.
"Not a bear or a mouse, but a girl," Captain Duan said with a chuckle.
He let go of my wrist. Surprised, I stepped back, gingerly rubbing my skin where the captain's grip had been.
But before my surprise could fade, the Daquan reached out and grabbed me by the neck, one large hand wrapping around my throat.
I choked, reaching up both hands to try and tug his hand away.
"Stop!" shouted Sanli, leaping along the walkway.
"Posing as a man in this fortress carries a heavy punishment," said the Daquan. Savage excitement gleamed in his eyes. He pushed me against the battlements. The wind whistled around me, and in the empty space below.
I sank my nails into the skin of the man's wrist. But he did not flinch.
"Stop, let her go!" yelled Sanli.
Captain Duan pushed me further out. "As you command, my prince." His ferocious smile gleamed in the night.
And he let me go.
At first I thought enough of my body remained on the battlements to pull myself back. Then I realized, too much of my weight hung out in space, over nothingness.
I began to tip backward.
With shock I reached out, trying to claw at the battlements. My nails skidded uselessly against cold stone. I reached for Captain Duan's arm, but he lifted it out of reach, laughter in his eyes.
I fell.
Stars twinkled above me, as though they too were amused by my plight. Captain Duan's face disappeared, and was replaced by the prince's panic stricken one.
There was nothing he could do.
As the fourth storey rushed past me I dimly thought of the other times I had fallen, from similar heights, and my resulting injuries. They had been severe.
Still I had survived the falls. I would survive this one.
Wouldn't I?
And then the panic tore through me. What if I didn't? What if this was the final injury, the one too great for Yan's seals to heal? My body would stay broken, my mind fade. I would die, a casualty of some mad Daquan's fun, with no name, no power, and no one knowing who I truly was.
Tears stung my eyes, and it was not from the cold night wind. I started to flail my arms like useless wings, as if that could slow m—
—my fall was roughly stopped by something warm and hard gripping around my waist.
"Ooooff," the air was knocked from my lungs.
"Ooofff," echoed beside me. I looked, shocked, at Zakhar, where he had leaned out the open window of Sanli's room to catch me. "There we go. Gotcha Ao."
Stunned for a moment, I stared at him. Then I threw my arms around his neck.
Warm and solid. Zakhar.
"You're all right, I've got you," said Zakhar, holding me to his chest. I gasped with relief, shaking, as he pulled me into the room.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"What were you thinking?!" raged Kageyama as he blazed back into the room.
It had been only moments since Zakhar had caught me. After drawing me carefully through the window, Zakhar had helped me on shaky legs to the bearskin rug, where I now sat as my large friend rebuilt the fire.
"Did you not hear my warnings earlier? About staying in the room? Did you think they were for show?" Kageyama berated me.
I did not respond. Ignoring Kageyama, I stared at the small fire Zakhar was kindling. I was too tired and shaken to deal with the kitsune's rage now.
"Sho Sensei, perhaps we should leave it—" said Sanli softly. The prince had closed the door behind him and drawn the long metal bolt, and now hovered at Kageyama's elbow.
"Leave it?! Her actions could have put you in danger. I am tired of her recklessness involving you too!"
I stiffened at Kageyama's words, as a similar thought had occurred to me on the battlements. But I did not want the kitsune to know he had struck a nerve.
"Oh my, protective aren't we, Lord Kageyama?" I said indifferently.
"You would be too, if you had anything you cared about," Kageyama snarled.
I stiffened further.
"Oh give it a rest Kageyama. Now is not the time," said Zakhar, blowing on his small fire. "Lecture her tomorrow on the road. Now we all need sleep."
With an angry grumble, Kageyama turned and strode to the small servants quarters next door.
The fire Zakhar had made caught. The big man stood.
"Night Ao," he said, hesitantly reaching out and patting me on the head. As though he sought to comfort me, but was unsure how to.
I held up my hand to him.
Confused, Zakhar took my hand in his own. I used his hand to pull myself to my feet and to his chest.
"Thank you," I said, wrapping my arms as best I could around his middle. My fingers barely met at his back, his chest was so broad.
Zakhar stood frozen for a moment, then wrapped his big arms around me as well. His voice rumbled deep in his large chest, like a quake shaking the foundations of the earth.
"You're alright," he said. He ran a hand down my hair, to reassure me. I wondered if he wasn't also reassuring himself as well.
"I am alright thanks to you," I said.
Zakhar drew me away from him. "You'd do the same for me, right?"
I laughed, imagining myself catching the huge man in my slim arms. "Of course."
Zakhar gave my shoulder a final squeeze, then turned and left for the small room as well.
I sank back to the bearskin. Sanli sat beside me.
"You're shaking," the prince said, reaching for my shoulder.
"I am cold, that is all," I said.
Sanli stood and fetched my bearskin from the bed, then draped it around my shoulders. He bent and inspected my legs, where my shins had been scraped, and the red skin where the Daquan had grabbed my wrist.
Sanli reached for his seal, hung round his neck once more. I shook my head.
"No need, prince. I will be healed by morning. Now all I want is warmth and sleep."
"I can perform a seal, for heat—"
"No need."
Sanli watched me carefully. "Come sleep with me then, in the bed."
"No," I said. "I will sleep here. The fire is warmer." I pulled the bearskin over me and curled up beneath it, front to the fire.
Sanli said nothing. Then he rose and went to his bed. I heard the sound of his boots dropping to the floor as he removed them, then a smooth rasp as he slid beneath the covers.
It was a long time before I heard the prince's breathing soften, as it did with sleep. Light was already starting to appear in the sky near the eastern horizon, and brighten the window.
The sunrise was approaching. I wondered if Kageyama would rise to watch it.
I did not think it possible after all that had happened, but eventually, still hungry, I fell back to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*
I woke and my body ached all over, especially my lower legs and my arm, where the Daquan had tugged on it so forcefully.
Groaning, I sat up.
The room was empty, Sanli's bed already made. Morning sunlight streamed through the window. At first I thought it unusual but did not know why. Then I realized; it had been days since the sky had been clear enough to see the sun.
I stood and went to the window.
The same scene from the night before stretched before me, but now it was lit. Even with the color of day, the scene was still as drab and discouraging, and the wind still howled the same.
I heard the door open behind me and I spun.
Zakhar stood in the doorway, holding my lost boot in one hand. "You might need this," he said.
I laughed and greeted him. "Where are the prince and Kageyama?"
"All ready to go. Your horse is saddled and waiting in the courtyard. Kageyama wanted to get an early start, but Sanli said to let you sleep as long as possible."
I accepted my boot from Zakhar and pulled it on, along with its twin. Then I tucked the bear skin about my shoulders.
"Let's get out of here," I said.
I followed Zakhar down the spiral staircase to the courtyard. As we walked by the kitchen my skin tingled at the memory of the Daquan waiting for me, leaning casually against the wall.
I shook the memory away.
Out in the courtyard our horses stood saddled, supplies on their backs. I found In'yii, tethered beside Dunya.
I realized there was an additional horse beside my one, and it wasn't the brown pack horse. A beige-dun beast, the size of Makabe, but with a sturdy build like Dunya.
I recognized the horse. Astride it sat none other than Captain Duan. He smiled at me in the morning sunlight, and nodded his head, as though greeting an old friend.
I froze. What was the man doing here, sitting astride his horse in the courtyard like he had not a care in the world? Surely he was going to be given some punishment for his brutal treatment of me the night before?
Atop Little Light, Sanli looked equally as angry as I felt. He was talking heatedly with Commander Sha, who stood beside the prince's horse. The man's silver hair glinted in the sunlight.
"I understand your concerns, my prince, but Captain Duan is the best soldier I have," the Commander said, arms folded against his chest. "If you will not allow me to send a company of men to ensure your safety, at least let me send him. Your noble brother would not forgive me if something befell you and I had not done this much."
"Your best soldier refused my orders last night, to release my page, and instead threw him from the wall!" Sanli replied sharply. "So forgive me if I doubt your intentions, Commander."
The commander shook his head. "I have heard the story already from Lord Kageyama, my prince. And the Captain has already been strictly reprimanded for disobeying you. But Captain Duan was only following orders. We have to be strict up here, with thievery, and other crimes. I know it is difficult, but please understand, for the sake of order, the special privileges you and your people may enjoy in the valley are not possible here."
"I am not asking for special privilege!" Sanli all but snarled. "Your man endangered one of my own, willingly. And now you expect us to entrust our wellbeing to him?"
The commander again shook his head, apologetically. "I am very sorry for his disobedience. But as I said, where you are going, this is the best man to have with you. And you can rest assured he will follow orders promptly from now on. The collar will see to that."
Here the commander tapped his neck, which was bare. I looked up, to the Daquan's own neck. About it was a band of metal, no thicker than a thumb, inscribed with roughly etched zih. Obey. Submit. Defer. Zih to compel obedience.
In addition to the zih for commands there were more. Twist. Burn. Hurt. Pain. Constrict. Bind. Characters to control and punish, should the orders not be obeyed.
I swallowed. For a moment I felt a sting of pity for the dog, having such a horrid thing about his neck. It was truly terrible, to have one's freedom taken. Even worse to have your own will controlled by the will of another.
But then I remembered the manic way the man had laughed, as I fell from the wall, and my vengeful nature was assuaged. I smiled smugly at the collared dog.
To my suprise, the man simply smiled benignly back, contentment on his face.
He must be mad.
"I have already agreed to Lord Kageyama's terms, that the captain travel unarmed, despite the fact that it puts him at considerable risk. If you still have complaints, I have no choice but to require that you stay here until I receive word from your Lord brother allowing you to travel on unaccompanied." The commander smiled slightly. "For your own safety."
Sanli's face was furious. Without responding, he turned Little Light and rode for the entrance.
Kageyama nodded curtly to the commander. "My Lord," Commander Sha said respectfully, bowing his head. Kageyama kicked Makabe after Sanli, toward the huge doors of the fortress that six soldiers were scrambling to open.
Zakhar helped me onto In'yii, then mounted his own horse.
"After you," the blond man said, gesturing for Captain Duan to proceed him. The Daquan turned for the entrance.
Zakhar's words were polite, but if looks could kill, Captain Duan would have toppled from his horse dead.
"It is alright, Zakhar," I said softly, shocked by the hatred on my friend's face. I did not like seeing him this way. He had not seemed so angry last night, when he had pulled me in through the window.
Zakhar shook his head. "There is madness, out here on the plains, and there are two types of men; those who fight it, and those who give in. I can't not stand those who give in." He continued to glare at the daquan's back.
I did not know what to say to that.
We took the road north, past the fortress and towards the town. The inhabitants of Changsha saw us coming. Or rather, they saw Captain Duan coming, riding atop his huge dun horse, and hurried inside their homes, closing doors.
As we rode through the dismal little town, I could feel the eyes of it watching us.
Captain Duan himself appeared oblivious to the reactions he inspired in the townspeople. He rode atop his horse, grinning like a fool. Or perhaps he was just baring his teeth.
We left the town, heading north east, toward the mountains.
I watched Captain Duan, still grinning at the morning air, and I thought of Zakhar's words.
"There is madness, out here on the plains, and there are two types of men; those who fight it, and those who give in."
I suspected that in Captain Duan's case, he hadn't just given in to madness. He had welcomed it with open arms.
*~*~*~*~*~*