#NewClassicILIB
Prologue
"One of my acquaintances saw you with a woman on a lunch date earlier, Richmond." My mother's voice was ice cold as she started a conversation, which was more like an argument, with my father.
I nibbled on my lower lip. Ibinagsak ko ang aking mga mata sa aking pinggan. Hindi pa ako nakakakalahati, nawalan na ako ng gana.
"Frida, don't start it," my father calmly said as he wiped his mouth with the table napkin. "Can we just talk about this later? Zendaya and Zedrick are here. We are eating dinner."
Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Kuya Zedrick. His jaw was clenching repeatedly, probably to stop himself from butting in to our parents' argument. He's four years older than me, but we get along well, despite the differences.
"At bakit?" Nanghahamon ang boses ni mommy. "Nahihiya ka sa mga anak natin?"
"Ako ang nahihiya para sa 'yo," sagot ni daddy. "You're just being paranoid again."
"Paranoid?" Mom laughed without any hint of humor. "My friend saw it with her own two eyes! She even sent me a photo of you and your mistress!"
"That's just a client!" Dad lost his patience and raised his voice.
Sa sobrang gulat ko ay halos mapatalon ako sa aking kinauupuan. Napa-angat ako ng tingin kay daddy. The veins on his neck were protruding, while my mother was turning red because of anger. I knew they wouldn't stop any time. They were just getting started.
They would always argue. My mother accused my father of cheating. According to her friend, her reliable source, he was often sighted with women on lunch or dinner dates.
"I told you last night that I have a meeting with a client, Frida." Muling sinubukan ni daddy na kumalma pagkatapos tumaas ang boses.
"Yes! And you lied to me!" Mom finally lost all her control. The dining table rattled when she brought her fist down. "You told me it was a client, but it turned out to be your mistress!"
"God, Frida! How many times do I have to tell you that I don't have a mistress?" Daddy was already frustrated.
"Why can't you just be honest?!" Muling hinampas ni mommy at napatayo sa kanyang kinauupuan.
Napapikit ako at muling yumuko. I could feel hot tears pooling inside my eyes. I wanted them to stop fighting already.
"I am being honest, Frida!" sagot ni daddy. "Ikaw itong mas maniniwala pa sa sabi-sabi ng iba kaysa sa akin!"
"So, ano ang gusto mong palabasin? Na ako ngayon ang mali?!"
By the sound of my mother's voice, I knew she was crying out of anger and frustration. The more I didn't want to look up. I didn't want to see her crying.
"I saw the pictures, Richmond! You were so close with your mistress!" she cried, and it was breaking my heart. "Alam mo wala na akong pakialam na may babae ka, pero iyong magsinungaling ka pa sa akin? That's what I couldn't take! That's what I hate the most! I hate you! I hate you! I regret marrying you!"
As my mother walked out of the kitchen, I heard the glass shattered into pieces.
Silence had filled the room, until we heard the banging of the door from the second floor. I was holding my breath because if I'd let it out, it would surely be followed with unending tears. I didn't want to cry anymore. I got tired of it already.
"Really, dad?" my brother broke the silence. "In front me and Zendaya?"
"I tried to stop your mother, Zedrick," dad emphatically said.
"Ayusin ninyo po ang gulo ninyo," walang takot na pagsagot ni Kuya sa aming ama at saka padarag na tumayo para umalis na rin.
Kinagat ko ang aking pang-ibabang labi. Kaming dalawa na lang ni daddy ang natitira sa hapag. I heard him heavily sighed. I was already close into letting out my tears.
"I'm sorry, Zendaya..." mahinahon niyang paghingi ng tawad sa akin. "I'll talk to your mother. Excuse me."
Pursing my lips, I didn't say anything and just let him walk away. Even though he said he'd talk to my mother, I knew it wouldn't be of any use. They would just argue again. I already lost hope that my family would return to how it was before. I was on the stage on trying to accept that fact. I wanted to learn acceptance, so that it wouldn't hurt that much anymore.
I let out a deep breath as I averted my eyes on the floor, seeing the scattered broken pieces of glass and the water puddle. From my chair, I bent down to try and clean it up.
It was a bit regretful that a once beautifully crafted glass had turn into something which could wound someone. Its soft edges turned sharp. But even though I knew it was dangerous, I could still see the beauty as I stared at the different shapes and pieces of each. Nonetheless, I still had to be very careful as I picked up all the broken pieces from the floor.
"Ay nako, Zendaya! Ako na riyan at baka masugatan ka pa!"
Hindi ko pa tapos linisin ang kalat, ngunit dumating na kaagad si Manang Ruby. Mabilis siyang nakakuha ng mga gamit panglinis at pinatabi ako.
"Nasugatan ka ba?" tanong niya sa akin nang pinaubaya ko na sa kanya ang paglilinis.
Tahimik lamang akong umiling sa kanya.
Bumuntonghininga naman siya. "Bumalik ka na sa kuwarto mo at ako na ang bahala rito."
Nodding my head, I turned my heel and went out of the kitchen. However, as I was coming near to the staircase, I looked up and realized that I would need to pass by my parents' room before I get to my room. Paniguradong madidinig ko lamang ulit ang kanilang pag-aaway.
Kaya naman kaysa tumuloy sa pagpanhik, tinalikuran ko ang aming hagdanan para lumabas ng bahay. Maingat kong binuksan at sinarado ang pintuan upang hindi ako makagawa ng ingay.
My parents' wouldn't let me out whenever it was past 6PM. It was almost 8PM, but I wasn't scared of going out. Our subdivision was heavily secured. I knew I'd be safe, though I couldn't really escape the scoldings, once they found out. However, even knowing the consequences, I still went out.
The small park situated in our subdivision was just three-minutes walk from our house. Habang naglalakad sa gitna ng tahimik at walang katao-taong daan, hindi ko maiwasan maisip ang pag-aaway ng aking mga magulang.
I couldn't keep count on how many times they fought about the same thing over and over again. At first, they would still try to hide it in front of me and my brother, but later on, my mother just couldn't take it. She became bold and shamesless to talk about my father's alleged affairs, saying that we deserved to know as their children.
Honestly, I couldn't decide whether my father was really having an affair. Every time my mother would confront him, he would deny it with resolve. He would explain to my mother that those so called mistresses were just his clients. However, my mother wouldn't buy his explanations.
I had no idea if I should trust my father or not. Seeing my mother hurt, I couldn't help but to take her side and get mad at my father. I tried to talk it out with Kuya Zedrick, but he would always dodge the topic. Alam kong ayaw niya lang na problemahin ko ang relasyon ng aming mga magulang, pero alam ko sa sarili kong hindi 'yon maiiwasan. That wasn't just about their marriage or their relationship. It was about our family!
There were no neighbors when I arrived at the park. Aside from the moonlight, only a few streetlights illuminated the park. At daylight, it would be filled with people, especially children playing at the playground. But once the sun had set, only a few would choose to hangout here. I was lucky that no one was there except for me.
Mabilis akong naglakad papunta sa wooden bench na katapat ng maliit na playground. My brother and I used to sit at the same bench when we were younger. Madalas kaming umikot sa buong subdibisyon kapag nagbi-bisikleta. Bago umuwi ay tatambay muna kami rito hanggang sa lumubog ang araw. We would watch the little children play or we would eat dirty ice cream from our favorite ice cream vendor, who peddled around the subdivision.
And according to a story told by my parents before, the same park was also the place where my father proposed to my mother. Under the moonlight, with only a few stars seen on the sky―and on the swing, my father declared that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with my mother, while my mother said yes.
They loved each other, so I had no idea what went wrong. If my father did really cheat on my mother, why would he do that? But if my father was telling the truth, why wouldn't my mother listen to him?
Why does it seem like they don't trust each other, when it should be the foundation of their relationship as a marriage couple?
Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi nang maramdamang kusang tumulo ang luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan.
Mayroon akong kaibigan na naghiwalay ang kanyang mga magulang. I knew how much it affected her. Her grades dropped. She became lethargic and aloof. Pero isang beses, nang hindi niya na makayanan ang sakit, iniyak niya na lang ang lahat sa amin. Just by hearing and knowing how much she suffered, pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko kakayanin.
I have a very fragile heart. Just by thinking about my parents separating, I don't think I can handle it.
I knew I shouldn't be thinking about this yet, but it was hard not to, especially when I saw it with my two eyes on how their relationship was teetering at the edge of a cliff. It was very unstable. It was either they'd fall or the cliff would collapse―like it really couldn't be saved anymore.
Your tears are so precious
Just to let it fall on the ground
Smile and hope that someday
Things will come around
I'm singing for you,
Who's crying tonight
Smile for me
Smile tonight
Smile under the moonlight
And shine...
It felt like my tears dried up in my eyes, when I heard the strumming of the guitar and a beautiful singing voice of a man. The voice was somehow breathy, like he was just trying to whisper, but the soul on his voice was ringing in my ears.
However, it wasn't just his voice which struck me. It was the lyrics of his song. It really felt like he was singing for me.
"Did you like it?"
I gasped and covered my mouth as I looked ahead of me in surprise.
A man, holding a guitar, was walking closer. There was a faint smile on his lips. His eyes were full with emotions and sympathy. And when the moonlight hit his face, I realized that our Creator favored him so much that he was given such a physical look―perfect naturally trimmed but thick eyebrows, pointed nose, and chiseled jaw. Even with his hair slightly disheveled, while wearing just cotton shorts and printed tee, he was looking very handsome. And based on his height, I guessed that he was about the same age as my brother or a little bit younger.
But still, since he was a stranger to me, I felt scared and intimidated by his presence.
"You don't have to be scared," he assured me. "I'm not a bad person."
Hindi ko alam, pero agad akong nagtiwala sa kanya. Nararamdaman kong hindi talaga siya masamang tao na kailangan kong katakutan.
Without hesitation, he sat beside me and carefully placed his guitar in between us. It was like an invisible line separating us. Just then, I saw that he was also carrying a pen and a notebook.
I got curious, so I quickly read what he wrote on the page where the notebook was folded. I immediately recalled that the words written were the same lyrics he sang earlier.
"Y-you wrote that song?" Stuttering a bit, I asked him, my voice quiet.
"Yup, I did." He smiled, then turned his head to me. "Did you like it?"
Biting my lower lip, I nodded.
"I sometimes come here at this hour to write songs. It's my hobby," he told me. "I'm having trouble getting inspiration tonight, but then I saw you..."
My lips parted. I could feel my heart beating against my chest so hard. I had crushes with boys at my school before, but I never felt this kind of feeling, like my heart was about to break.
"Thank you..." he sincerely said and then, he suddenly gave out his guitar pick to me.
Tinitigan ko lamang iyon. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang kuhanin.
"Take it," he urged me. "It's my gift for you."
"P-para saan?"
I had no idea why he was suddenly giving me a gift. We just met each other!
"For being my inspiration," he answered. "You helped me write this song, and I think I finally found it..."
I could feel my blood going up to my cheeks. Good thing that my face couldn't be seen clearly because the place was dimmed for the lack of lights. If not, I'd be very embarrassed that I was blushing because of a stranger.
Because I was too stunned to move, he took my hand, laid out my palm, and placed his guitar pick there. It was a solid yellow guitar pick, and there were small letters written on one edge. I couldn't read it properly because of darkness though.
"Won't you be using this?" I asked him, though I actually didn't want to return it.
"Don't worry. I still have one at home," he assured me. "But wait!"
Muli niyang hinawakan ang aking kamay. My hand rested on his palm, while he removed the lid of his pen using his mouth. Nang matanggal niya ay medyo humigpit pa lalo ang pagkakahawak niya sa aking kamay. He was drawing something on his pick.
"Done!" After almost a minute, he let go of my hand and stepped back with a satisfying smile on his face.
When I looked down on the pick, I saw that he drew a smiley face on the pick. He used his ballpen, so it took quite longer.
"Smile..." he whispered and looked up to me. "That's going to be the title of the song."
Muling napaawang ang aking labi. Napababa ulit ang aking tingin sa guitar pick.
"I hope it can make you smile."
Unconsciously, a smile broke into my lips. I couldn't help but to mirror the smiley face he drew on the guitar pick.
"There..." he said, so I lifted my gaze back to him. He was also smiling. "Smiling suits you more."
I felt like I was losing my sanity as I stared at the pick he gave me four years ago. Whenever I looked at it, I couldn't help but to smile, recalling the memories of that night. The smiley face he drew was already slightly faded, but the letters, which I believed his initials, were still vivid.
I didn't see him again after that. I tried sneaking out again to the park a few times, but I didn't see him at all.
That night, I went home to my parents' and brother's scoldings, but I didn't mind. His song was playing repeatedly inside my head. I even wrote down the lyrics and recorded it on my phone, so that I would never forget.
Every time I was feeling down and lonely, I would just listen to it inside my head. I engraved in my memory how his voice sounded that night. His song could make me feel so much better than I could ever imagine. It's my kind of remedy. It makes me feel at peace. It makes me smile...
"Nababaliw ka na ba, Zendaya?"
My pleasant thoughts were interrupted by Jerlyn. Instead of smiling, I pursed my lips and kept the guitar pick on the back of my ID case.
"Kanina pa ako nagku-kuwento pero hindi ka naman pala nakikinig sa akin!"
Jerlyn is my best friend.
She's my friend ever since we were in high school. Ngayong college ay hindi na kami magkaklase dahil magkaiba kami ng school, ngunit madalas pa rin kaming nagkikita kapag parehas ng uwian. Ngayon ay nagrereklamo siya tungkol sa kanyang dina-date na taga-ibang course dahil hindi sila madalas makapagkita at mukhang mas abala sa kaibigan ang lalaki. Magda-dalawang buwan pa lang sila, ngunit mukhang hindi rin magtatagal.
"Sorry..." I sheepishly smiled at her. "May naalala lang ako―"
Heads up,
You're more beautiful than the moon
Heads up,
Your smile is brighter than the stars at night
So, listen to me...
My eyes widened and I stopped talking, when I heard a very familiar voice, which made me feel so nostalgic. I looked up to the monitor in front and saw the music video of the song playing through the speakers.
There was a scene where the girl at a different park was crying. And then, suddenly, I saw him.... After four years... I finally saw him again. Even just through the screen, I saw him again.
My heart had gone wild. I couldn't breathe properly.
Your tears are so precious
Just to let it fall on the ground
Smile and hope that someday
Things will come around
He was walking closer to the girl, while playing his guitar and singing to the lyrics of the song, which was engraved on my head.
I'm singing for you,
Who's crying tonight
Smile for me
Smile tonight
Smile under the moonlight
And shine...
During the instrumentals, it showed a band scene, like he was serenading to the girl with his bandmates.
"Zendaya! Zendaya!" Jerlyn tried to catch my attention.
I snapped out of my reverie, but I didn't pay attention to her. I quickly walked up to the counter to ask about the song.
"Excuse me po!" I approached the staff on the counter.
"Yes, how may I―"
"Smile po ba ang title ng kantang tumutugtog ngayon?" Hindi ko na siya pinatapos at agad na nagtanong. "Sino po ang kumanta?"
She looked a little bit taken aback because of my aggressiveness. She didn't know what to do at first, but then she looked down to check.
"Uh, Smile nga..." nag-aalangang sabi niya at pakiramdam ko ay lumilipad na ako sa alapaap sa sobrang kasiyahan. "New Classic ang pangalan ng banda."
My lips parted. Instead of beating wildly, my heart finally slowed down its paced as I felt the warmth spread all over my chest. I turned my head back on the screen, and I saw his face closed up, while singing the last part of the song whole-heartedly and very emotional.
At the last frame, he smiled, before it zoomed out to see all the members of the band.
Without a thought, I also smiled back.