Harleen gently tilted her head towards her left while laying in her bed to look at the time on her alarm clock which now read - 4:30 in the morning. She sighs in exasperation because she hasn't been able to get at least an hour's worth of sleep and had been wide awake this entire time. Then again having a guilty conscience can do that to a person
From the time she sent Arthur back to his cell to faking an illness and coming back home, the guilt-ridden therapist tried to forget about her encounter with Arthur earlier that day but failed miserably. Not only did she hate herself for not only kissing Arthur back and allowing him to touch her in places he shouldn't, she technically already cheated on Derek, the man she loved with all her heart
Or so she thought. How did it come down to this? Being in love with two men at the same time while already in a relationship with one of them. The other man Harleen had feelings for is highly inappropriate as far as her training in psychology went. She broke the one golden rule by developing personal feelings for a patient that goes far beyond what it should be
What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously. I'm already in a relationship with Derek, a man I love so much, and yet I'm in love with Arthur. There's no denying that now. Not after what happened yesterday, thought a conflicted and guilt-ridden Harleen
Harleen tilted her head back to the original position with her eyes looking up at her ceiling again. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. She should be able to easily treat Arthur without developing any emotional feelings for him and still be happy with Derek and not have these conflicted thoughts on who to choose and worried about her future
What made things even worse for Harleen is throughout the evening, she kept picturing herself going all the way with Arthur in her office. No matter how hard the woman tried to push back those urges and her feelings for the man whose's been vilified by mostly everyone in Gotham to the back of her mind while thinking about Derek, even that had failed her
It's like that other side to her both Arthur and herself had mentioned in the past. A dark side perhaps? Possibly. Harleen had many dark thoughts in the past about paying back the people who either did her wrong or just say Fuck the rules. I'm gonna do what I wanna do for now on. Perhaps this other side is telling her to give in to her feelings and just give up everything
To be fair though, during the early hours of the evening Harleen did try to get into contact with Derek by ringing him on his phone number and twice through Wayne Enterprises, only to either listen to Derek's answering machine or be told he's very busy and not in
Harleen is a big believer in not keeping secrets from the other in order for a real relationship to work. She knew Derek would be devastated and crushed when he finally hears that his own girlfriend has kissed a murderer, but she was willing to take the risk for fear of losing him in the process
However, there was that other secret she kept hidden from Derek, the encounter with J Man and The Jokerz in the alleyway a couple of weeks ago, and how Harleen practically had to bluff her way into returning home alive in one piece by faking a relationship with their idol
She did contemplate telling Derek about that more than once, but then she remembered the fight they had about Arthur, and by telling Derek it would just only make things worse between them. Plus, Harleen didn't think it would be a big deal considering she did her part in asking Arthur to meet with J Man and go along with her story
But kissing Arthur and having him grope and spank her ass is something Harleen had to tell if there is any part of her that still loved Derek, and saving their relationship
I'm a fucking piece of shit for doing this to Derek. What did he ever do to deserve being cheated on? Nothing. All he ever did is stayed loyal to me, love me, and helped me out when times were tough. It's going to break him, I know. But I have to tell him, otherwise, I won't be able to live with myself, thought Harleen
Harleen then pictures Arthur being hurt and confused with how she ended their session much earlier than expected. It was clear beyond a shadow of doubt Arthur is in love with her, he wanted her as much as she secretly wanted him
Oh God! What have I done? Not only have I betrayed and hurt Derek. I've also hurt Arthur and toyed with his feelings. He's told me time and time again that all he wants is for someone to love him unconditionally. How he tried reaching out to others only to have his hand slapped away. He probably hates me now. Yeah. And who can blame him
Everything is so fucked up now. How did it get to this? Is the question that's haunted Harleen throughout the night. Her job is meant to get into Arthur's psyche, get to the root cause of why he snapped, and went on a chaotic murder spree. Not fall in love with him. The only feelings she's mean to have or the person to fall in love with is the one she's already with
Harleen should have the same feelings as most of the others do for Arthur. Hate his fucking guts because he's a monster for doing what he did to those people. But as time went on between the two and she's gotten to know more about the man behind the makeup, she grew to sympathize and have empathy for Arthur
All Arthur ever wanted in his life is to have a strong emotional connection with another person that didn't treat him like an outcast or have an ulterior motive. It was the actions of society and how they treated him turned Arthur into the now infamous Joker
Arthur isn't a monster or the Devil incarnate. He's a sweet innocent man who's become the ultimate victim of circumstance. He simply had enough of being treated like a doormat and wanted to repay the world for the pain they caused. Quite honestly, who can blame him after hearing what he's been through
For the first time in her life, Harleen is now at a crossroads in her life and is forced to make a choice that will not only affect her relationships with Derek and Arthur but also her career and her future
The most logical and sensible approach is to obviously break all ties with Arthur, quit her job at Arkham, and set up shop somewhere else in Gotham. It should as easy as that but the thought of abandoning Arthur after making a lot of processes and the connection they share is too painful to contemplate
Harleen's only other options are to either continue treating Arthur while fighting off her feelings as best as she can or ultimately just give in to her feelings and start a relationship. Obviously not telling Derek regardless is out of the question, that has to happen
I think my best approach........for the time being at least is to continue pretending to be sick in order to avoid Arthur for a couple of days, while I use the time to figure things out. Oh, why does it have to be so FUCKING DIFFICULT? I should just say sorry Arthur but I can no longer be your doctor, I'm sorry but it's for the best. I should only have feelings for Derek. But I don't, thought a frustrated Harleen while she still looked up at her ceiling
Harleen has contemplated throwing everything she's worked for and her relationship with Derek away in order to be with Arthur. Whether that included keeping their relationship a secret while continuing under the false pretense treating him as his doctor or God forbid break him out of Arkham, Harleen has yet to figure it out
She knew if she did regardless of whether they made their relationship public or not, they would forever face prejudice from the public. Hell, it would make Harleen famous or infamous in her own right just by being Arthur's girlfriend
Funny smiled Harleen Even with my guilt for cheating on Derek, the thought of being with Arthur and not giving a fuck what others think about us is thrilling. Why should we care what they think when they don't understand the bond we have? Harleen widens her eyes at the thought and shakes her head side to side on her pillow in disbelief
No, no, NO! Enough with that. I'm with Derek, he's my whole world......my rock. I shouldn't be having these thoughts of betraying him
Harleen tilted her head over to her left again to view her alarm clock with the time now reading 5:00 in the morning
I might as well get up and start my day. Even if it's two hours earlier than normal, there's no way I'm going to get any sleep now
Harleen sits upright in her bed, letting out a slight yawn before turning her body towards her left. She stands to her feet, stretches her arms and walked over to her window, pulling the curtains back. Her pajamas consist of a light blue short sleeve shirt, light blue pants, and red ankle socks
She then makes her way over the ensuite bathroom to turn the knob of the shower tap on and waited for several seconds for the warm water to kick in. Satisfied, Harleen gets undressed, steps in and begins washing her body
Again visions of being in Arthur's arms, touching her body, fondling her ass and pussy begin to kick in. The charming smile he would always give during their sessions crept into Harleen's mind
Mister J
Harleen pictures herself getting naked in front of Arthur, showing off her perky tits, her curvy hips, and round ass. She pictures herself submitting to Arthur's dominance, bending over and having his cock go deep inside her
She closes her eyes, slides her hand down to her pussy and begins rubbing slowly. The thought of Arthur taking her in from behind, groping her ass, spanking it and pulling her hair back while continuously pounding her pussy definitely aroused her
Yes......yes, I'm a naughty girl. I'm a filthy slut. I belong to you and only you, thought Harleen as she continued rubbing her pussy and letting out small moans
Harleen knows this is only going to make her feel even worse by the time she's done because she's cheating on Derek again, but again she chooses not to care and allow herself to give in to her dark thoughts
It is clear being around Arthur's orbit after a certain amount of time and the influence he has, has obviously sparked something within Harleen that is both thrilling and frightening to her at the same time
Harleen now started to rub her pussy faster and faster, her heart thumping rapidly in her chest, moaning more and more as she masturbated. Fingers flicking her clit
Oh, fuck yes. Fuck me.....Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum. Fuck....fuck FUCK!
At that moment, Harleen not only reached her climax but squirted over her legs and the tile floor, while the hot water continued dripping over her entire body. She panted for several seconds before regaining her breath
Maybe I don't love Derek as much as I thought I did. I mean look what I just fucking did, thought Harleen while she resumed washing her body
How can I be so heartless? He's done so much for me, he's helped me to become slightly more confident and yet, here I am thinking about fucking my patient. Perhaps maybe I need a therapist, thought Harleen as she giggled to herself
After finishing washing her body, Harleen turns the tap off and steps out of the shower. She grabs the towel hanging across from where she is standing, wraps it around her body and steps back into her bedroom
Harleen walks over to her cheery bedroom dresser, opening the drawers and deciding what to wear since she's not going into work for the next few days. She decides on wearing on a simple grey top and black sweatpants
As she starts drying herself off and getting changed, a lightbulb goes off in her head in regards to her conflicted feelings for Arthur and Derek
Maybe I'm not totally in love with Arthur as I think I am. It could be just infatuation that will soon return to being purely platonic. I mean, there's a part of me that still loves Derek in some way and wants to tell him the truth about everything. Even my shortlived association with The Jokerz, wondered Harleen while getting changed
When she finished changing, Harleen picks up her towel, walked back over to the bathroom, hangs it up again, walks past her bedroom, and entered the main living room/ kitchen. She pulls back the curtains and opening windows up to allow both sunlight and fresh air to come in
Harleen then makes her way over the dinner table where she last left her TV remote, she grabs it and turns it on before making her way to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee before breakfast. Usually, around this time the early morning news would be on for those that had to get up around this time to go to work or whatever
The footage of the TV shows a male news reporter standing outside of an apartment building with a couple of other people standing by including policemen who were going in and out of the building. Obviously another murder has taken place in the city of Gotham
" Good morning for those that are just tuning in, I am Erik Blundetto and I'm standing outside a building where a chilling and brutal murder has taken place, late last night....."
Harleen scoffed " Heh. What else is new?" she asked while making herself a cup of coffee and casually looking back and forth at her TV screen
" The murder involved a series of stab wounds to the stomach and a smile being carved into the lips of one man, the police have now identified as Ted Wilson.."
When Harleen heard Ted's name being mention by the reporter, she stopped what she is doing and turned her whole body to face her TV, watching as more details about Ted's murder unfolded. Apparently it was a random murder involving no witnesses although the Jokerz were being named as possible suspects due to leaving their trademark smiles through spray paint
At first, she was shocked because not only did she figure out during the meeting between Arthur and J Man where they must have planned and spoken about it, but Harleen herself was an accomplice for arranging the meeting in the first place
However, that feeling soon went away when Harleen remembered the times where Ted abused Arthur and shrugs her shoulders Meh, The fucker got what he deserved. Harleen turned around and resumed making her coffee