3.2k words
How did we get here, Draco?
A wand against my temple, a clear vial in my left hand and your crying eyes on my shoulder. I see a white stream following the tip of your wand. I want to touch it, but I know I shouldn't. My cheeks are wet with tear streaks, but I don't remember crying.
Why are you so sad, Draco?
You leave my shoulder and silently cry as you put the stream into my vial. I hold it out for you, helping you store the white flow of your wand. You look at me with tired eyes.
"We're almost done, love," You tried to smile.
I looked around the room and found we were in the dorms at the top of the Gryffindor Tower. Both of us were by the window, only lit by the moonlight. I smiled at you.
"You aren't allowed up here," I grinned at you. You kissed your teeth and slowly nodded at me, looking like you'd cry again. "Draco... are you alright?"
You blinked and turned so I couldn't see your face anymore. Your hand covered your left forearm and I tried to think about what you were hinting at, but I felt like I couldn't even think straight. You stifled out a cry, a tear sliding off your cheek and onto the ground beneath us. My mouth fell agape and I held out my hand to reach yours. Suddenly, the sky outside caught both of our attentions.
We turned to face the window, watching Hogwarts students and professors rase their wands at the sky, slowly building a dome around the school. I pressed my hands against the window anxiously. How could the war have slipped my mind?
"Draco, we need to go fight!" I urged you, grabbing your hand and squeezing it. I gave you an encouraging smile, which you didn't return. Tears continued to slide down your cheeks and I didn't know what to say.
"I'm going to miss you, darling," You smiled and held your wand to my temple again. I looked at you nervously, then to the wand.
I watched the tip of his wand pull a white stream from the side of my head. Suddenly I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a sharp pain from deep inside my brain. I heard muffled cries, but drained them out. I felt your hand hold mine for a moment, Draco, but soon enough I opened my eyes and you were gone.
/
I blinked again. What was I doing here? I looked around and found myself in the Gryffindor dormitory. There I was, sitting by the window, only accompanied by a small vial filled of a glowing white substance. I grabbed it and it was warm, as if someone was just holding it.
I looked outside and was mesmerized by a magical orange barrier being built around the school. I saw hundreds of students with their wands raised to the sky. The war is starting! How could I have let that slip my mind?
I got to my feet and shoved the vial in my pocket for safe keeping. I wasn't positive what it was (a potion, maybe?) but I knew it had to be important. Running down the staircase I could have sworn I had forgotten something, but I kept running down the steps anyway.
And there I had arrived at the doors of Hogwarts, preparing to face one of the most intense wizard wars there ever will be. I stared outside and through the now clear barrier, seeing hundreds of Deatheaters. I grimaced. The idea of devoting your entire life to pleasing Lord Voldemort made me feel hollow inside.
I looked around, seeing students from all houses around me and ready to fight. But I didn't see any students from Slytherin. I quickly remembered Draco. Where was Draco?
I looked around frantically and turned around from the courtyard. I ran inside, looking left and right and trying to remember the last time I saw him. How could I have been so stupid to forget where he was? Was he in trouble?
Perhaps he was sent home during the war because his parents were scared he'd hurt himself. But wouldn't I have remembered that? I slowed down and tried to think, staring intensely at the wall. But I couldn't remember anything!
"We need you at the front lines," Fred Weasley said from behind me me. I spun around to face him, and wasn't surprised to see his twin, George, beside him, giving me a look of encouragement.
"We're Dumbledore's Army," George smiled, "we can't let him down."
I nodded slowly, trying to ignore Draco's absence. I followed them back through the corridor before I cleared my throat.
"Where's Draco? Do either of you know?" I asked them before entering the courtyard. I could hear loud noises from the outside of stone golems and protection spells, which heightened my anxiety. The war was starting soon, and we needed to hurry. They both looked at each other and swallowed.
"He's probably, um," Fred began, trying to think. I assumed they were as confused as I was about his absence.
"He's probably in there somewhere," George nodded slowly. He then looked to Fred again and shrugged.
"I'm really sorry about all that happening," Fred said. "It wasn't your fault... you couldn't have prevented it."
"What?" I asked them. What on earth were they talking about? They looked at each other again.
"Are you... feeling alright?" George asked. Suddenly a large blast echoed from across the courtyard. We all jumped and spun around, staring at the spells being casted against the protecting dome around Hogwarts. We all nervously nodded to one another before running off to our positions we all assigned ourselves.
My heart beat rapidly as I tried to ignore all of the confusing signs about Draco's absence. I clutched my wand and stared at the cascading dome around us, watching the magic give out. I stared at the darkened sky and then the mountains, where hundreds of Deatheaters stood. I grimaced again. How terribly lost a person must be to ever become a Deatheater.
///
Adrenaline had flowed through my veins until I was numb. The repetitive protection spells, the tears that were shed over every lost student and the impatient waiting for Draco made me feel exhausted.
I had keeled over alone in a hallway just hours ago, sobbing over a war that felt like we had lost. Friends I had once held close to me were now laying peacefully down in the Great Hall, millions of miles away from us all. Seeing everyone mourning over bravery lost during the battle tore me to pieces. Anger shot through me as I casted into oblivion.
Harry's death had been announced when I was in the Great Hall, hugging a friend, Luna Lovegood, tightly. Neither of us had been able to sleep after Voldemort's announcement the night prior. Harry had left, Hermione told us, and we were left to secretly hope that Voldemort wouldn't hurt him or us. But that was optimistic.
I stepped out and into the courtyard to see the remainder of the Deatheaters staring back at us. Harry was laying lifelessly in Hagrid's arms. My breath hitched when I saw him, biting my lip harshly as a way to keep quiet. Hermione was right. Harry was gone.
I scanned the crowd of students silently, hoping to see Draco standing with us. I needed an explanation. I continued looking, feeling my eyes burn as I faced the reality of his absence.
Voldemort began his speech, but my eyes fell to the ground, feeling tears leak from my eyes and on to my cheeks. The world wasn't right anymore. Innocent people had died, Harry was gone, Draco wasn't here. It felt like nothing was right. Like the world had stopped spinning.
I heard someone fall to the ground. My head shot up and so did my wand, preparing myself to cast. But I saw Harry, the same Harry that was dead just moments ago, stumbling to get on his feet in front of the Deatheaters. My jaw dropped and my heart beat rapidly. I felt a weight lift off of my chest.
I looked to the Deatheaters for their reaction and found them stunned. I didn't blame them- I felt as surprised as they did. I scanned their crowd, then felt my breath stop.
Draco Malfoy was standing directly across the field from where I was, staring at me.
My head went light. He shook his head slowly and mouthed out 'sorry'. I felt myself begin to cry.
Voldemort's spell triggered everything. Harry casted back, Ron and Hermione sprinted to the bridge, Mrs. Weasley and Ginny retreated inside the castle, and I felt myself running towards the Deatheaters, and I saw Draco running back.
We crashed into each other, hugging one another tightly and crying. I sobbed into his shoulder before pushing him away.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" I cried, the harsh noises of destruction all around us.
"I was scared I wouldn't live through this," He choked out his words. "And if I didn't, you'd think it was your fault. I know you... somehow, you'd think it was your fault."
I burst out crying again before firmly wrapping my arms around him again. He hugged me back tightly. I felt a sense of peace within him flood onto me. I felt home in his arms, even when surrounded with the worst of circumstances.
"Besides," He leaned out with his arms still around me, "I did tell you."
"Draco?!" Mr. Malfoy cried from behind us. Our heads shot his way. Mr. Mafloy urged him over. Draco looked to me with worried eyes.
"The vial," He spat out, "pour it into Dumbledore's pensieve."
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small vile full of white, magical clouds. He nodded vigorously.
"Draco!" Mr. Malfoy yelled from across the courtyard. He looked to me, his grey eyes full of tears and stress, before pulling his arms around me and tightly hugging me again. I hugged him back, feeling his heavy breathing against me.
"Be careful. Please, God, please stay alive," He said breathily. "I love you."
"I love you too," I said back. He pulled out and looked at me one last time before turning and ran to catch up with his parents, who were retreating Hogwarts.
I turned around and sprinted into the castle, trying to ignore and dodge every spell that came my way. I began up the eastern steps, focusing on Draco's words, when a Deatheater casted sparks onto the ground I stood on. My eyes shot up and met with his.
"Draco's little toy," The man in a dark cloak smiled mischievously and raised his eyebrows. I felt myself stumble upon words and panic as he raised his wand. "Expuls-"
"Protego!" I shouted, casting away his spell and sprinting away from him. I heard his running from behind me, casting spells that I swished away. I spun around and aimed at a pillar. "Bombarda maxima!"
He was forced to sprint forwards or else he would have been crushed entirely. He rose his wand quickly.
"Reducto!" He shouted and flicked his wand, exploding the railing and making me stumble backwards, almost falling off the staircase.
"Confringo!" I casted, much angrily this time, and he bounced out of the way, snickering. I was shaking with anxiety. "Depulso!"
And the Deatheater was forced away from me, flying backwards and into the wall outside the Great Hall. My first reaction was to run up to Dumbledore's pensieve, but I realized quickly that the rest of the fight still needed to be fought. So I ran after him.
"Avada Kedav-" He began. I panicked and quickly casted a protection charm, watching the light from his wand dissipate. He looked at me bewildered. I had never felt so powerful.
"Sectumsempra!" I casted a spell Draco told me about without thinking. He crashed into the ground and began to shake. Blood seeped from his body and onto the ground, creating a red puddle. My breath stopped. I panicked and looked around for help. Should I help him? Or leave him to die?
I began to cry under pressure, hearing muffled commotion getting louder all around me. I wanted to tend to him, his cries growing weaker as moments passed. I never wanted to kill anybody during the war, but I just did. I could still reverse it, couldn't I?
But I slowly felt myself back away from him, watching other Deatheaters come in and notice him bleeding out. I sprinted up the stairs, before anyone could notice me, heading to the headmaster's office.
I muttered the password, my words cracking between my breaths, feeling a heavy weight of guilt weigh on my chest. His face was stuck in my mind. I never even thought I was capable of killing someone.
I entered his office and anxiously looked around. I found the bowl of candies and dug my hand into it, hearing the wall open up and display Dumbledore's personal viles and pensieve to me. I sighed heavily, my breath cascading as I reached to the vial, firmly holding it and messily unscrewing the top.
I stood in front of the pensieve and tore the cap off of my vial. I poured in the white substance, watching it flow into the water, and saw my own tear drip and hit the substance. I sniffled and wiped my face, not wanting to disrupt the process.
I breathed slowly before lowering my head into the solution. The white solution had began to flow around me to form out a room. First everything was white, but then, magically, the red of the bedsheets were added. I saw myself sitting at the top of the Gryffindor tower. The beginning was muffled and disoriented until I could see myself clearly in front of the window staring at Draco with disgust. I observed closer, interested.
"It's in my bloodline," He choked, staring at his forearm. "Both of my parents are... are-"
"Deatheaters," I watched myself say firmly, but I looked like I was going to break down. I felt my eyes widen, hearing this news I had forgotten about. "And now you... you're a Deatheater too."
"Yes," He nodded slowly, looking at the ground between us. I looked scared. "A-And, I wish I wasn't-"
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" I heard myself shout. I was staring at his bare forearm, which was branded with the Dark Mark. Even though I was watching a memory, my heart ache seeing it.
"I needed to protect you," He said breathily. "I didn't want you to have second thoughts about the war-"
"Well, too late!" I shouted at him, then quieted down. "Draco... if I'm against you... what if you die? I couldn't live with myself."
I watched myself tear up as he gripped his wand.
"I know. That's why I'm going to take this memory away from you," He held his breath, staring at me straight in the eyes.
"What?!" I watched myself jump to my feet. "You're going to obliviate me?!"
"No! I'd never!" Draco protested, ushering me to sit down. I watched myself sat down next to him as he handed me an empty vial. "I just don't want you to, um, remember that I'm on the enemy team during the war."
"Again, what if you die, Draco? What if I'm left to be confused for the rest of my life?" I choked.
"I won't die," He shook his head and held my hand. He was lying. He was protecting me with a lie. "A-And you won't either. And even though neither of us will die, you'll always have this memory stored in your vial."
"Don't make empty promises," I said through gritted teeth, tears in my eyes. He bit his lip with silence in response, then gripped his wand.
"I love you," He said suddenly. "And, alive or dead, I won't stop loving you."
"I love you too, Draco," I said back. Tears fell from his eyes before he held his wand up to my temple. "Is this gonna hurt?"
"It wont hurt you more than it will me," He said finally. I watched myself squeeze my eyes shut, then watched him begin to cry silently, slowly collecting a white stream from my memory. His head fell into my shoulder, crying, and I watched my face grow from somber to content.
Suddenly the memory dispersed into darkness and rushed into my eyes. I gasped, pulling my head out of the solution, and shot my head up. I opened my eyes, looking to the pensieve, which now had clear fluid inside. I felt my breaths slow down.
Everything fell in place again. It was Draco's family, his precious bloodline, that caused him to fight for the dark side. The memories were set in place again, as if they were always in my head. I remembered Draco's tired eyes looking at me with regret. I remembered feeling a heavy weight on my chest when he had told me.
I slowly backed away from the pensieve, collecting my thoughts. I stared at the pensieve as it was collected back into the wall. I blankly walked out of the headmaster's office, thinking deeply about Draco's life and not the war ahead of me. I walked down the staircase but stopped for a moment. Draco was just trying to protect me. And he was wrong, he lived through it. I lived through it. Will I live through it?
I slowly regained balance and prepared myself to face the war again. I rose my wand cautiously as I stepped down the broken stairs, but couldn't hear anything around me. I walked out to the courtyard.
The world was still again. I looked around me. My heart froze. Hogwarts was in ruins. Debris was everywhere, filling previously smooth pathways. I was speechless as I saw the ceilings of castles crushed in, exposing the insides of towers to the outside world.
I turned around and saw the blue sky and Harry laying exhaustedly in the center of the yard. I looked around to see other students staring at Hogwarts and the destruction. My jaw dropped, realizing what this meant.
Students around me all slowly walked to my side to watch the sky in peace. A feeling of tranquility flooded over me, even after seeing the debris of what was once Hogwarts, one of the safest places in the wizarding world. The students around me shared this same sense of calm. The war was over.
I remembered the friends I had lost and my school that was gone. I remembered the Deatheater I had killed in the face of stress. I remembered Draco doing his best to protect me.
I quickly reminisced over the last seven years of my life. I remembered the classes I took everyday in order to become a better student, I remembered meeting Draco after curfew just to talk, I remembered insisting I stayed during the war even when others encouraged me not to.
And although a part of me was destroyed with the castle and a few of my dearest friends, I knew I was still whole. Draco was right, I didn't die. And neither did he. And, even after such a horrific war and being on opposed sides, he was still out there, thinking of me, and I was right here, thinking of him.
I smiled and remembered that we would see each other very soon, and this time with no secrets involved.
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just wanted to say that you guys reading, voting and commenting on these chapters doesn't go unappreciated. we hit 200 reads yesterday (5/23/20) and that means the world to me!! thank you to every single person (no matter your house, bloodline or quidditch position) who is reading this. <3