Jacob couldn't ignore the cold feeling that washed over him.
He can feel the dread settling in the pit of his stomach as the last couple of days dawn on him. He doesn't know how long she's been dead, sure, but he's been blaming all of his current blunders on this witch. He's been placing all of his faith in the fact that he'll be "back to normal" after this is done, after they force her to fix him. Things will just snap back into place and he can forget the weird feelings and strange attachments.
"Dead?" His voice sounds like it's being forced out through a straw.
She's dead. She can't be dead.
He can feel Edward shift slowly on the bed like he was afraid that one wrong move would startle Jacob.
"Hey, it's not the end of the world..." Edward's voice is all soft again, which lets Jacob know that he must look like he's going to have a breakdown, "We can keep looking for alternatives."
He could hear something in Edward's voice as well. He can't quite put his finger on what it is because he can't keep focus long enough to. The problem wasn't going to be fixed by an "alternative".
An alternative wasn't going to revert him back to a Jacob who hadn't imprinted on Edward and who hadn't somehow stirred up shit between him and Bella. 'Cause Bella was in love with Edward an unhealthy amount and nothing could change that. Especially not Jacob. Finding an alternative wasn't going to reset that dynamic.
No, what was bothering him wasn't that he was playing surrogate; It was that he now knew these emotions were his. At least they were now anyway.
"Jake?" Edward's voice is barely above a whisper now.
The attachment to this baby, that he'd only been aware of for about a month, that was all him too.
Jacob finally lifts his eyes to look up at Edward. He looks a bit like the Edward Jacob had known before he'd found himself stumbling through a forest or lying on a carpet or basically ingrained into Edward's bed. His voice was a bit empty; his eyes were guarded. It was like he was anticipating the worst.
"What are you going to tell Bella?"
He can tell that it's not what Edward's expecting based on the way his face somehow goes even more blank. Then, Jacob sees a brief flash of relief before Edward's expression is thoughtful.
"The truth." Is all he can come up with after they sit there staring at one another for about three minutes.
"Truth?"
The truth? What is the truth? How much of the truth?
The imprinting, the kissing, the stumbling downstairs naked to get cold leftovers?
Edward doesn't seem to know the amount he wants to divulge himself as his eyes flick around the room as if he's remembering what the truth actually is.
"The witch is dead, the hex can't be reversed, and we will have to start planning for the future." There was something in the way he said the last part of that sentence that caught Jacob's attention, especially the way he averted his eyes, instead choosing to glance down at the rumpled duvet.
"Future?" Jacob says it slowly, letting it roll across his tongue as if that would allow him to understand what Edward was thinking. Edward looks up at him and he has that look on his face again, like he was in a cartoon and a piano was just going to come flying through the door and hit him smack in his mouth.
"I can't keep lying."
Jacob can feel his palms start to sweat. He's not hot. He's barely even dressed, donning a flowy shirt he's been wearing for two days straight and a random pair of pajama pants he'd stolen from Edward, but he could still feel himself flush.
"Right."
Why was he nervous? Why does he care? If Edward chooses Bella, he can just hobble back home and try and pretend like the last month of his life was a fever dream. He could feel the pack's eyes on him already, looking at him all sympathetically like he should've known better. He could see them treating him like he was this fragile thing they could break if they raised their voices too loudly. If he had to hand this kid back over to Bella, he could see them going through the rituals as if he'd lost the baby during childbirth, trying to find a way to comfort him. He could see it so vividly it almost startled him.
However, Jacob knows that Edward already has his answer.
Jacob can tell from the look on Edward's face as he continues to stall by staring at Jacob.
Jacob's almost sure that's he's never going to go back downstairs again when they both hear a knock on the door followed by,
"Edward?"
It's Bella's voice wafting through the door, of course, and there goes that piano crashing into Edward's face finally.
"Fuck." He hisses quietly as he drags himself up from the bed to open the door.
Bella's standing there looking as though she knows she's about to hear something she doesn't like as she looks in between the two of them. She has this wary look as she questions them without speaking.
"Yeah?" Edward finally inquires, dragging her attention back over to him.
"Was coming up to check on you..." Her eyes flick back over to Jacob yet again, but he's started to busy himself with running a hand under his shirt. He could feel the hard mound of his stomach, but instead focused on his bandages. It was as if the feel of the gauze under his fingertips had reminded him that he was supposed to be in pain. He was stiff, yes, but he could sit up without being reminded that he was an idiot.
Jacob glanced up to see that he was still being watched. Two pairs of eyes watching him intently.
"What?" He finally grunted out, trying to ignore the concerned looks on their faces.
"You alright?" Edward asked, all traces of his apprehension gone as he watched Jacob like he was going to fall apart.
"I'm good." Then, he was back to fiddling with his bandage again. Edward stared for another couple of minutes, brow furrowed as he watched Jacob unwrap the bandages. Bella's gaze breaks away after a few seconds, eyes finding their way over to Edward, analyzing the expression on his face as he watches Jacob. She doesn't like what she sees there.
"I got a call from Carlisle..." Jacob could feel Bella perk up without even looking at her. He could see her eyes focusing back on Edward like whatever he was about to say was the only thing that mattered to her in this world.
"It's not looking good."
She deflated under the news, hopes dashed as she went back to looking wary. Her entire demeanor changed. Her shoulders slumped, her eyebrows started to lower, her eyes shifted around looking for something else in Edward's.
An alternative.
"They found her dead in the woods at 6 AM. Carlisle said that it looked like she'd been dead for about a week."
About a week.
Jacob could feel himself stiffen at that. About a week.
Edward must have known. He must've known more than he was letting on about what they were dealing with. Jacob could feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears heat up again, but he ignores it in favor of rifling through the side table for the first aid kit.
"So, Jacob's our surrogate now?" She says it like she's become accustomed to the idea already.
Jacob ignores her and the slight sting of pain he feels as he's lifting himself back up. He also doesn't linger on the fact that someone replaced their old rusty first aid kit with a new one specifically for Jacob.
"Not exactly."
If the circumstances were any different, Jacob would've laughed. He's never heard Edward like this. He sounds like a pre-teen breaking up with his first crush because his friends don't think she's cool enough. So reluctant as he tries to find the correct words to say that won't anger Bella.
"We need to talk."
This talking happens downstairs. It only stays talking for about five minutes before it escalates into outright screaming.
Jacob can feel his wolf now. It's the most he's heard from the thing in the last month, but he can feel it becoming protective. He has to protect them.
Hide.
He doesn't question it, heading towards the bathroom quickly with his first aid kit in tow. He's locking the door behind him, when Bella's voice comes out as sharp as it has since they stormed downstairs.
"It's my baby. Mine," She's not near the bathroom door, "you don't just get to take them."
Jacob starts re-bandaging his wound quickly.
"Bella, please," he can hear Edward pleading through the door, "you can't just rip it out of him."
"Watch me!" Bella yells in response and then Jacob hears loud footsteps and then the twist of the bathroom doorknob.
He can feel the beginnings of a shift as he slowly begins to scoot away from the door, back soon hitting the bathtub and stopping him from retreating any further. He can take a fight against Bella in his human form without lifting more than a pinky, but he shouldn't touch her. He shouldn't put them at risk.
Fall back.
So, he does. Bella's pounding on the door for about five minutes straight before he can hear her voice steadily fading down the stairs.
He's not sure how Edward even gets her back down to the first floor, but Jacob just sits on the bathroom floor until he hears a much calmer knock on the door.
"Jake?"
It's Edward, he sounds winded, like he'd been fighting through a storm.
"Yeah?" He calls out, finally managing to peel himself away from the side of the tub.
"Emmett has her downstairs. You can come out now."
His wolf was gone again, just like that, crawling back in the recesses of his mind.
He slowly exits the bathroom, trying not to think about how the entire pack was going to clown him for basically running away from Bella. He could already hear Edward telling the entire tale to Seth. What was he supposed to do? Apparently, even 120-pound women were a threat to him now.
He ignores the protective hand that shows up on his stomach as he shimmies around in the rumpled duvet, the two blankets he'd bled on, and the five pillows that Rosalie had most likely shoved underneath him at some point during his stay here. Edward makes himself comfortable next to him and they both just stare down into the mess for about ten minutes.
He wants to ask "What now?" but he's afraid of the answer he'll receive so he just stays quiet, choosing to not pay attention to how the hand is now choosing to massage circles quite low on his abdomen.
"Are you nesting?"
He's taken aback by the question, completely startled out of his own head.
"Am I what now?" Jacob glances around the bed a second time to see one of Edward's shirts tucked at the end. He can't remember wearing it, but why else would it be down there? He sees a pair of Edward's shorts tucked under one of Edward's legs. He can see what looks like a small plaid shirt peeking out from under one of the corners of the duvet. It looked like it belonged to Leah. When had that gotten there? She must have left it.
Is he?
"Guess so."
How does Edward know?