England, 2040
As I flew over the tree roots in the dim forest, I saw the sun coming up behind me. If it had been a normal day, I would have stopped to enjoy the moment. But this day was everything but ordinary. During my run, the light hit my face and for an instant, I closed my eyes. Without me noticing, a smile lit up my face. How long had it been since I smiled, I wondered. But I knew that I had no need to speculate. I knew precisely how long it had been. It was 20 years, six months, three weeks, ten hours and seventeen minutes ago. The longest time of my existence. And the most lonesome.
Before…Him, I never had a problem with being by myself. On the contrary, there was nothing I loved more than time for me only. But as I had let Him into my life, everything had altered. I had changed. Forever. That someone I had been before Him, I had a hard time remembering and it was even harder to understand “her”. Or maybe I was simply repressing the horrible memories of the wicked creature that had been me for so long.
Suddenly I could see a clearing in the forest and that made me slow down a bit. As the speed took off I could feel my head spinning. Something was scratching me from inside my chest and I did not care for this disturbing reaction. I stayed right on my course and it didn’t take long until I saw it. The house was even more beautiful than it had been on paper. Surrounded by nothing but trees, open fields and the sky, it reminded me of another home. The home of the human Gabrielle.
For a second, the buried strong emotions took over and I felt a burning sensation deep down in my throat. I shut my eyes and cleared out my head until there was nothing but a big blank space. All I had to do was to move my feet, one foot after the other. There couldn’t be more than twenty feet left to the front door, when it suddenly swung wide open. My whole body was instantly on edge and I didn’t know whether to stay where I was or run back the way I came. Before I had the chance to make up my mind, a little boy was standing next to me.
“Hi! I’m Ben who are you?” he asked with a smile as broad as his face.
Without answering, I studied the boy closely. Even though it was hard for me to tell his human age, he did not appear to be more than ten years old. But his age was not the first thing that caught my attention. It was his brown wild hair, his tiny nose with a little tip, but most of all; his eyes. He was the spitting image of..
“Marc! Where’s Benjamin? I can’t find him anywhere inside.”
At the sound of the familiar name with so many reminiscences, I had to gasp for air. When a stronger voice, a male voice, spoke, I felt my mouth drying up like a desert.
“Take it easy Beatrice, he’s probably outside I’ll go get him.”
All of the sudden, the boy started to tug my shirt which automatically made me take a step away from him.
“You never told me your name.”
At that precise moment, He stepped out of the front door.
“Ben, who are you talking to?”
His mouth closed and he stood frozen for a few seconds on the stairs. Then his eyes started to wander, first to the boy, then to me and back again.
“Dad, this lady won’t tell me her name.”
Even though I had figured out that this was His son, the word dad made my heart flicker. He was really a father. A real father, someone who had made a child. With someone else.
”Go inside.” His voice was darker than I remembered. The boy opened his mouth as to speak but he did not have the chance to utter any words. ”Now!”
The firmness and harshness in His voice made the boy return to the house but not before glancing back at me over his shoulder. How could his eyes look exactly the same as his fathers’? He observed me closely and drew after his breath.
”You look exactly the same.”
I studied his face and could see that it certainly had traces of the years that had passed. His jaw had grown more substantial; he had stubble, which I had never seen him have, and his dark brown hair began to turn grey in some places and creep further up on his scalp. But the distinctive features were still there, like a ghost from the past. All the new feelings I had experienced during my months with Marc came rushing back in an instance as I gazed into his piercing eyes.
”And you look…old.”
He smiled but it quickly faded away.
”I always thought that I would see you again someday.” I couldn’t tell if this meant that he had wanted me to find him or that he had dreaded this day. His voice was robotic as he spoke. ”What are you doing here Gabrielle?”
Though he was not harsh as he uttered the words, they still had a painful effect on me.
”Why do you think I am here?”
I was about to grab his hand when I heard steps approaching. I looked away from Marc’s captivating eyes and saw the person possessing the female voice standing in the doorway.
”Is everything okay?”
”Of course. This is one of my students. Gabrielle, this is my wife Beatrice.”
She gave me a polite smile but I could tell that she did not care for my presence.
”I don’t think that any student have been to our house before.”
Marc put a hand on her arm and I felt my entire body turn cold.
”She had an important question about her assignment. She’ll be going soon.”
She leaned in and whispered in his ear.
”There’s something called a phone.”
”Beatrice please.”
I knew how difficult it was to say no to that voice and apparently she felt the same way since she went back into the house. I had so much to say to him and a hundred questions to ask, but as I stood in front of him after all this time, every question I had planned seemed ridiculous.
”So you became a teacher?”
”Yes.”
He appeared to be more and more uncomfortable in my company and had a hard time looking me in the eye.
”What are you teaching?”
He gave me a look I could not place and cleared his throat.
”Modern literature.”
Warmth spread throughout my body and I felt a smile on my lips.
”Why are you here?” he asked again.
”I have been searching for you ever since you left The College.”
I was trying to keep calm but I could hear how unsteady my voice became at the memory of finding Marc’s dorm deserted. It had been the worst day I had ever experienced.
”You must know why I am here.”
Marc shook his head.
”I need to hear you say it.”
I took a deep breath and went all in.
”I love you still and I want you back”, I rambled out quickly.
Sadness came over his face and even before he spoke, I knew that he wasn’t going to tell me what I wanted to hear.
”Gabrielle, it’s been twenty years. I have moved on, I have a family now.”
Not wanting to hear about his new life, I did the only thing I wanted to do. Our lips met and the heat overwhelmed me. It felt like all the heat from him came streaming into me and I never wanted the moment to end. But only after a few seconds I was roughly pushed away.
”You should not have done that.”
Without taking his words into consideration, I began to speak.
”This has been the longest years I have ever experienced during my lifetime. The years without you. You can’t honestly tell me that this did not bring out any emotions.”
He became quiet and it seemed like he was far away in his mind.
”Yes, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t feel anything.” I smiled and finally began to feel hope. There was still something inside of him that longed for me. ”Kissing you.. It made me feel nineteen again and it reminded me of how much I loved you.” The past tense made my heart slow down to minimum. ”I mean, you were my first love. But like I said before, I have moved on and I’m in love with my wife. I have been for a long time.”
The disappointment and humiliation washed over me as the words meaning sunk in. I suddenly felt a great longing to cry, a longing to show some kind of emotion before I exploded.
“Is there anything I can do or say to make you leave? Right now, with me. Leave all of this behind.”
Marc looked at me with a face that I had never seen before. It was a mixture of torment and pity.
“I have a family Gabrielle and that means everything to me. You should know that I could never do what my father did.”
I knew that I should feel bad for making him look like his father but his words only irritated me.
“You said that you needed time. I have given you plenty of time, what more do you want?”
“I want the truth. Have you killed anyone since I left you?”
I knew that I could not lie to him again.
“What did you expect? You left me!”
“I left because I knew that you wouldn’t be able to stop killing. Why do you think that I moved on? I don’t love you anymore Gabrielle and I can certainly not share my life with a murderer.”
At his words, knowing that all was lost, something inside of me snapped. The monster inside that had been asleep for so long suddenly roared to life and as I took power of his mind, all I could think was that if I wasn’t going to spend my existence with Marc, no one would. As the blood from his neck touched my lips, I felt a longing for the blood inside of him that I had never done before. In a matter of minutes, I had already drained him completely. As I let him fall to the ground, I couldn’t make myself look into his lifeless eyes. Instead I ran into the house and with a blank mind, I cracked the neck of Marc’s wife without her ever noticing me. There could be no witnesses left. As I walked out of the house, a great sadness came over me. I had not wanted it to end this way. All I had wanted was Marc but now he was gone. I bent down over his lifeless body and took a hold of his hand. I smiled as I realised that it was still warm. All of the sudden I felt extremely empty and the panic started to creep up on me. What had I done? A noise from the house made me release Marc’s hand and walk back inside. She couldn’t still be alive, it was impossible. But at least I had to check. I couldn’t leave anyone left alive. In the room in the back of the huge house, I found him.
“Where are mom and dad?”
How could I have forgotten about the son? I reached down to suck him dry but something stopped me. Maybe it was the dark hair, the helpless expression on his face or those piercing eyes but I could not harm him. I withdrew my fangs and began to think. He was still too young to transform but if he just stayed with me as a human for a few years, giving me blood when I craved it, I could eventually change him. I could already see Marc so clearly in the boy’s face and knowing I could stare at that for the rest of my existence made the anxiety vanish.
“Your parents are gone but I will take care of you. I know how it is like to be without a family.”
Even though the boy looked confused, there was still hope in his crystal blue eyes. He gave me a weak smile and placed his tiny hand in mine.