~inspired by the picture above!~
“Oi, Trashykawa!”
“Hm? Oh hi, Iwa-cha-AH!”
At that moment a water balloon was thrown at Oikawa’s face, knocking his balance off and making him fall to the ground. Iwaizumi, who had his camera equipped, was sure he finally succeeded in what seemed to be the impossible - taking a bad or embarrassing photo of his boyfriend. Much to his dismay, Oikawa still looked worth a million dollars.
Iwaizumi had tried taking a photo of Oikawa while he was on the ground, but his pouty face still was so perfectly gorgeous that it couldn’t be considered a bad picture. His face just didn’t and couldn’t look bad. Iwaizumi was both extremely happy and angry.
He was happy that he was the lucky one who managed to have such a beautiful boyfriend who was also his childhood friend, the one and only Oikawa Tooru.
He was mad however, that he couldn’t get a bad picture of Oikawa. Oikawa had so many embarrassing and humiliating photos of him, and he thought it was only fair. So, he began the impossible quest of trying to get a bad photo.
While he felt like he was the luckiest man on Earth to get to be with Oikawa, Oikawa always disagreed, insisting he was the luckiest man. Iwaizumi didn’t understand what was so special about himself anyways. He had average brown hair and was even shorter than Oikawa, yet Oikawa was so certain he was the best person in the world. Iwaizumi truly felt like he didn’t deserve the perfection that was Oikawa Tooru, but he thanked whoever above that listened to his prayers over the past few years and gave him his lovely boyfriend.
Oikawa’s lock screen was a picture of Iwaizumi, so was his home screen, on his phone, computer, and tablet. Iwaizumi was convinced they were all bad pictures, but Oikawa loved them so much he couldn’t bring himself to make him change it.
“Come on, Tooru. Just let me have ONE bad picture of you. You have so many of me!”
“Wah, Iwa-chan! I don’t have any bad pictures of you. Those don’t even exist!”
Iwaizumi grumbled in disagreement and he thought of a new plan. He could pie Oikawa in the face, but that would cover his face and that wasn’t what he wanted to do. He wanted a pure bad photo of Oikawa. He thought of many things, but nothing worked. His best idea was putting ghost pepper salt on Oikawa’s milk bread. It wasn’t his best idea, but he was sure he could get some reaction from it that was cringe-worthy.
So, he set to work. First of all, he had to buy the milk bread. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything to something Oikawa bought for his own enjoyment, that just seemed wrong to him. It was only $1 for two slices anyway, so as an apology he would give Oikawa a normal piece of milk bread. He still felt bad about it but he needed that picture.
The next day, he walked over to Oikawa’s house as usual. He gave Oikawa a hug, as usual. He gave Oikawa milk bread, not usual. Oikawa, of course, noticed something different about Iwazumi’s tone when he was giving him the milk bread, as well as his phone in his hand when it would normally be in his pocket, his thumb resting almost exactly where the camera button would be located. He just pretended he didn’t notice anything and opened the milk bread, instantly noticing the fine flakes of dark red on the surface. Hesitantly, he took a bite. Just as he expected, it was extremely spicy and it took all of his effort not to cringe at the taste.
Iwaizumi stared in shock. His boyfriend just ate a ghost pepper coated milk bread like it was nothing. Oikawa was too much.
Speaking of Oikawa, he thought of a brilliant plan.
“Aw, Iwa-chan. You’re the best! How did you know I love ghost pepper salt on my milk bread?”
Flabbergasted.
That was definitely what Iwaizumi was. He knew Oikawa didn’t like spice at all.
“Y-you? Ghost pepper? Milk bread? Why?”
“Haha. Oh my gosh, Iwa-chan. You should give me more credit.”
Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He couldn’t think of any new plans, and unfortunately, all he had left was asking Hanamaki and Matsukawa for help. They were troublesome, but if anyone knew what to do, it would be them.
“Hey, Iwa-chan! We still have morning practice, you know.”
“Oh, right. Let’s go, Trashykawa.”
And before they knew it, practice was going smoothly as usual. That is, for everybody except a certain ace. Said certain ace was still busy thinking about trying to get a bad photo of his boyfriend. Well, he was also thinking about how he was going to marry Oikawa as soon as they graduated, but that wasn’t all too unusual.
As soon as practice was over, Iwaizumi found himself approaching Hanamaki and Matsukawa.
“Hey, idiots. I need help.”
“Oh, how flattered I am. The Iwaizumi Hajime has asked us for help.” Matsukawa beamed.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever lets you sleep at night. Anyways, do you have any ideas on how I could get a bad picture of Oikawa?”
The two looked at each other, and nodded. Iwaizumi was very confused.
“Iwaizumi. We have the perfect plan.”
They discussed until it was time to start class again. The plan was to have Iwaizumi give Oikawa a hug, and the duo were going to totally ruin the moment. They all knew Oikawa cherished every single moment he had with Iwaizumi. Sometimes Oikawa would beg Iwaizumi for hours just for a hug, so it felt wrong only giving him a hug to humiliate him. Everyone realized that Oikawa would be getting spoiled that night since Iwaizumi was such a loving boyfriend he would be so guilty.
Everything was ready. Practice was ending and everyone was in the changing rooms, except Iwaizumi and Oikawa, who were cleaning up the gym. Everyone left the locker room, (everyone but Matsukawa and Hanamaki), and the two had just finished cleaning the gym. Iwaizumi walked up and gave his boyfriend a hug from behind.
“You did great today.”
Although he was behind him, Iwaizumi knew Oikawa would have a faint pink tint to his cheeks. He got compliments all the time, but Iwaizumi’s were special.
Just as Oikawa was about to respond, the two troublemakers of the team walked out of the showers giggling.
“Oh, and remember that time when Oikawa-”
Oikawa’s face morphed into one of pure hatred. The two were off and running, after getting a picture of course. Once everything settled down Oikawa and Iwaizumi had walked back home, Iwaizumi probably showered Oikawa in loads of affection until they had to part ways, Oikawa having to do homework and Iwazumi having to meet up with Mattsukawa and Hanamaki.
“So, now that I have a lifetime of guilt, did you guys get the picture?”
“Haha. Yeah, we sure did. Here.” Hanamaki clicks into his camera roll and shows Iwaizumi a picture of Oikawa that was far from stunning. Iwaizumi looked at the photo, clearly lovestruck.
“Hanamaki, Matsukawa. This isn’t bad at all.”
The boys standing directly parallel to Iwaizumi sweat dropped. That was a very bad photo and they weren’t going to sugarcoat it. This was, however, the first bad picture anyone had seen of him really ever, and they weren’t going to waste it. Even when the normal person would have a serious ugly moment, Oikawa was always gorgeous still.
“Oh shit. He’s in deep!”
“Well, who wouldn’t be? Look at him, for heaven's sake. He’s perfect if I’ve ever seen it, think about it. His chestnut brown hair and eyes, his perfect little pouting face, his gorgeous smiles, his jawline, his motivation, his-”
“Okay, okay. We get it. You are deeply in love with Oikawa Tooru. Anyway. This is clearly a bad picture. I don’t think his face gets worse than this.”
Honestly, the photo was bad. But compared to the regular person’s ugly selfies, it was still pretty high on the scale. It was still an accomplishment.
To Iwaizumi, however, the photo was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Oikawa was still flawless to him.
So, he set out another plan.
Speak out.
This game would make you look absolutely hideous.
Those awful things they put in your mouth to keep it open at the dentist? Those. But not in front of random 37 year old women you don’t know, in front of your friends, it was the ultimate humiliation.
And Oikawa, being competitive as he was, couldn’t say no to a challenge. That’s how he found himself in a rather large room with almost the entirety of Aoba Johsai’s volleyball team, plastic holding his mouth open, playing games at the team’s ‘team bonding sleepover’.
Too Iwaizumi, he was still flawless. Plan B.
Oikawa was sleeping, (and of course his sleeping bag was placed right next to Iwaizumi), and drool was running down from the corner of his mouth. It was dark, but Iwaizumi quickly took a photo with the flash on, but being shorter than Oikawa, he had to awkwardly reach up, so he hadn’t actually gotten to see his boyfriend’s face yet. He pulled it down and his jaw dropped.
The photo was indeed very cute.
Failure, plan C.
Failed. Plan D.
Plan E.
Plan F.
Plan G, H, I, J, K, and L, M, N, O, P.
Every one of them failed, and Iwazumi’s phone was beginning to fill up with even more cute photos of his boyfriend. He had almost 1000, including the ones he screenshotted off of Oikawa’s snapchat, (he didn’t know it gave Oikawa a notification), but that’s a story for another time.
Months passed and Iwaizumi gave up and accepted the fact that his boyfriend was just too perfect for bad pictures.
“Hey, crappykawa-”
“Iwa-chan. We’ve been dating for almost 3 years now, you know you can call me Tooru.”
“Fine. Only if-”
Oikawa sighed. He’s been trying to get Iwaizumi to call him by his first name for what feels like forever now, (it was only really 2 weeks), but Iwaizumi always gets too flustered and ends up sticking to crappykawa.
“-you give me a bad picture of yourself.”
“Fine. But you already have so many!”
“Those aren’t bad. You’re too stunning in all of them.”
“Thank you, but what defines an ugly photo to you?”
“I don’t know! Make a face or something!”
Oikawa huffed and grabbed Iwaizumi’s phone, positioning the camera right under his chin and making a goofy face. Iwaizumi looked at his phone. These kinds of photos existed?
“Oh my gosh, Tooru! You have the cutest ugly photos ever!”
Oikawa laughed, a little red from both the compliment and the fact that he finally called him by his first name.
“Thank you, thank you. Hajime.”
With a wink Oikawa hugged his boyfriend who was a giddy mess. He loved that he was the only one who got to see that kind of photo of Oikawa.
“But yours are cutter!”