I thought I had my life figured out as a freshman in high school. That was when I started dating Brandon Calvillo. He was everything I wanted: smart, mature, talkative, and sweet. I had only dated him a few months before I decided that we'd get married. The years after that were just me waiting for the moment.
I did everything to make him happy. I mean, everything. He didn't like my hair long, so I kept it around my shoulders. He liked quiet girls. He liked girls who didn't party, didn't drink, only smoked with him around. He liked to feel like he was teaching you things, but if you acted too stupid, he'd get angry and think you were patronizing him. He liked girls who dressed modestly, but hot enough for everyone to recognize that his girlfriend was hot.
He didn't like girls who drew too much attention. He didn't like when I listened to my moms over him. He didn't like stupid jokes I found on the internet. He thought he was above that kind of humor. For a middle class white boy, he was most definitely an elitist.
I stayed with him, even though I had to change myself for him, until the summer after freshman year of college. I chose to go to the same college as him, even though that school didn't have my first choice major, because he wanted to keep an eye on me. Five years I spent with him, trying to be perfect for him. Five years wasted, apparently.
It was about a month before sophomore year started that I got the classic hey girl, i'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but right now i'm coming to you as a woman DM on my instagram account. Brandon was never one for social media, which meant he could get away with cheating on me... for three years.
Her name was Elena. She was pretty, long blonde hair and a sweet smile. She looked nerdy and soft, but still pretty. I guessed he wanted me to look a certain way so he didn't mix us up. That was my only explanation to how he wanted me to look so perfect for him, yet was also dating someone practically the complete opposite.
She told me she didn't know about me either until she snooped through his phone and she's so sorry that we didn't figure it out sooner. She offered to meet me, but I turned her down. When I learned that I'd wasted five years of my life toning myself down for some pretentious, wannabe writer douchebag, I decided enough was enough. I wasn't going to dwell on it another day.
I used his spare key (seriously, I had a spare key all that time and never walked in on him and Elena.) to sneak in when I knew he was out and packed up all the shit I had. It didn't take me that long. He was always very weird about me leaving things over. Now, I knew why.
I also stole his favorite shirt and took the cat litter from the box and spread it all over his bed. I would've stolen Jackie, his cat, but this was a time of transition.
I transferred to a different college two hours away. The process was not as stressful as I once thought it would be. They accepted all my credits, and transferring meant I could actually major in social work. The only thing I really had to worry about was having somewhere to live.
I had basically been switching between my moms' house and Brandon's apartment the entire summer. My parents would definitely help me pay for an apartment near school, but the trouble would be finding one with an open spot this close to the school year starting.
The registration for dorms wasn't an option any longer, so my moms and I scoured the internet for a place. They were more than supportive of my breakup with Brandon. They hated him for a long time and mostly tolerated him because I was so infatuated with him. They were glad to see him gone, even if the circumstances were horrible.
To be honest, I didn't really cry about it too much. Much less than I thought I would, at least. Though I had genuinely wasted five years of my life obsessively tending to everything he needed and it was so annoying that I allowed myself to do that, it was freeing to be gone.
I didn't even tell him, just blocked his number and taped the spare key to the door. He didn't need an explanation; he knew exactly what he had done to me.
Time was running out to find a place to stay. My parents and I discussed getting a hotel for a week near campus while they continued to search for a lease to take over in an apartment. On the last day of searching, a house popped up on the renting website.
They were "urgently seeking a new tenant" for a four bedroom house that already had three other people signed. There was no information about who I'd be living with, only that it was "near campus" and "good for college students".
I didn't really care about who I'd be living with, knowing I'd mostly keep to myself anyways, so as soon as my parents confirmed that the price was reasonable, I signed the lease. With no information and only a few pictures of the slightly ratty looking house, I blindly signed the lease.
... So it wasn't my best idea. I just had to hope it wouldn't be my worst.
Im just posting this to see who reads it lmao
xoxo abby