I take a seat on the stool and fake a smile as I am handed a microphone. I am about to record an acoustic cover of Lightweight which is a song that I collaborated on with Kandice for her album. Even though I released an album, Matrix which is highest selling album to date, I just don't have the same passion for music.
Music used to be my escape, my pain and my joy but now I don't have that anymore. After everything that happened to me this past year, I have had to put my focus on getting better and taking care of my children.
A couple of months ago, I agreed to start recording an album with Kandice, Elle, Violet and Nia. We are currently taking a break from filming and recording because we are clashing too much. We all come from different musical backgrounds which shows and we all have different styles which is making it hard to work together.
Recording a single is fine but a whole album is a lot since it is going to be original work. Elle is too carefree, Kandice knows fuck all about music, Nia thinks she knows it all. Violet isn't too focused because she is filming a movie at the same time and I'm too much of a perfectionist.
The slightest words you said
Have all gone to my head
I hear angels sing in your voice
When you pull me close
Feelings I've never known
They mean everything
And leave me no choice
I close my eyes as I continue to sing the song.
Light on my heart, light on my feet
Light in your eyes I can't even speak
Do you even know how you make me weak
I hear a small commotion going on in the background so I open my eyes just before I hit the chorus only to see my two year old daughter running towards me. I shake my head at my brother Christian who was supposed to be keeping her occupied while I film this cover.
Christian grimaces and I hold out my free arm for my daughter who runs into them. I cuddle her to my chest and thankfully she has the headphones on because I can get pretty loud, acoustic or not.
I'm a lightweight
Better be careful what you say
With every word I'm blown away
You're in control of my heart
I'm a lightweight
Easy to fall, easy to break
With every move my whole world shakes
Keep me from falling apart
Maya calmly sits on my lap as I sing the rest of the song. I couldn't stand up or move around as much as I would have liked because Maya is going through a clingy stage. Even though it does get annoying, I love her to bits and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Oh, I'm a lightweight
Better be careful what you say
With every word I'm blown away
You're in control of my heart
I'm a lightweight
Easy to fall, easy to break
With every move my whole world shakes
Keep me from falling apart
Keep me from falling apart
Keep me from falling apart, oh
Falling apart
"YAY!" Maya cheers as I finish the song and I give her biggest kiss on the cheeks which makes her smile. "You are amazing."
"So are you." I kiss her nose. "You're perfect."
---
After we finished up at the studio, we started making our way down to McDonald's because I really want a milkshake and Maya wants nuggets. We had security clear out the place so that we could enter and order in peace.
Once we got the goods, we started heading back to the car when I spotted a familiar face.
"Terrence." I sigh as he looks over at me. I have not seen or spoken to Terrence in over a year which is crazy because we were once engaged. The craziest part is that Michael and Terrence are good friends again but we have no connection.
"I'll take Maya to the car." Christian says as he picks up my daughter and carries her to the car.
"Hey Luxe." Terrence smiles as he approaches me.
"Hi." I rub my lips together. "I need to go now."
"Wait Luxe, please." I roll my eyes as I stop in my tracks. "I meant it when I said I was sorry."
"I forgave you, it's fine." I try to walk past him but he stops infront of me.
"I never wanted to hurt you but you have to understand things from my side." I gesture for him to continue. "With Michael in your life, we would have never made it. Regardless of all the dumb shit that he did, his love for you never left and I could see that you still loved him too."
I want to say something but I don't because Terrence is right.
"I'm sorry too." I apologise and he shakes his head.
"You have nothing to be sorry for but I do miss you." He gives me the smile that used to melt my heart. "I really hope that we can be friends again."
"Luxe, let's go." Christian says, putting an end to the conversation.
I give Terrence a tight smile before quickly heading over to the car, Christian starts driving once I'm all buckled in.
"You alright?" Christian asks and I nod my head.
"I'm fine." I look back to see that Maya is sleeping. "It was just weird seeing him again after so long."
"But he is a good guy." Christian states. "Just don't forget that you're married now. Michael is a jealous son of a bitch and we all know that. Whatever you decide to do, just tread lightly and make sure that Michael knows."
Since when did my 22 year old brother become so wise.
---
As I lay in bed with my husband, I turn to just stare at his side profile.
"What?" He chuckles as he looks over at me. "You're staring."
"I know."
"Terrence told me that he saw you today." I slightly tense up at his name. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about." I pull the covers up to my neck.
"I know that you guys have a past and everyone knows about the engagement." Michael sighs. "I just w-- if you want to talk about it then just know that I'm here for you."
"You hated me and you hated Terrence when we got together but-" I pause for a moment. "Why was it so easy for you to become his friend again after he broke my heart."
Michael bites down on his lower lip.
"What did you do?" I sit up.
"I spoke to Terrence after you guys ended your engagement and I made it known that at the end of the day, that we were going to get back together." I gasp at his words. I know that Michael probably threatened him because the Michael back then was a evil son of a bitch.
"Why the hell would you do that?" I hiss as I adjust my shirt. "Are you fucking crazy?"
"Why are you so mad for?" Michael puts his book down and looks at me confused. "This is the past."
"That altered my future." I sneer at him. "You're an asshole."
"Luxe."
I run a hand through my hair, "I understand that it's the past but this guy hurt me. I stopped talking to him because I was shocked that he could end things with me on a day that meant everything to me. Knowing that you had a part to play in that makes me feel sick."
Michael goes to say something but I turn over, facing the other direction.
"Thank you for telling me." I mumble. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."