[a/n: Note that 'specials' are still part of the story. I just labeled them as 'special' in order to highlight certain scenes. PS: Medyo masakit sa ulo ang chapter na 'to because it's more about Zia's plans, analyzing the war and the enemy and also highlighting Zia's changes.]
ZIA
'The Evil Poison'
Someone planted a spell on me. They said that it's someone from UHT. I'm currently in a coma, talking to myself, but also talking to Time.
"Evil lies within you, child." Time said. Ngumiti ako at yumuko. "I know." Sagot ko at tsaka tiningnan ang kamay ko.
"Was I born evil?" I asked. Time said that I looked so innocent asking her that question. I actually didn't know how I looked. I was concerned for myself and for the future. Ngumiti siya sa akin at tuluyan akong hinarap.
"What do you think?" Tanong niya na naging dahilan para mapaisip ako. Dahan-dahan akong napayuko. What do I think? "I-I'm.. I'm a good person." Sagot ko habang nakapikit.
"Oh? Then why are you having a hard time saying that? Are you just forcing yourself to be a good person then?" Agad akong natigilan dahil sa tanong niya kaya tumingin ako sa mga mata niya. She was still smiling at me.
Nanginig ang labi ko sa tanong niya. Am I really forcing myself to be good?
"When you fought the Xions at the asylum. How did it feel?" Kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa tanong niya. I think it doesn't have much relation to what we're talking about pero napaisip parin ako kung anong naramdaman ko nung gabing 'yun.
And for a second, I was wearing a smile I couldn't erase from my lips.
"It felt great. So great." Sagot ko. Time hummed and then looked at me.
"Don't force yourself into a path you're not comfortable with. I know you were raised by Xinny to be a good child, but your true nature will show." Kamay ko na naman ang nanginig dahil sa sinabi niya.
"N-No. Mommy wanted me to be a good person—"
"I think you know by now that whatever kind of person you become, your mother will accept you and support you. Evil or not, you're her daughter and knowing your mother, she wants you to be free to do whatever you want." I don't know why but I started tearing up after hearing that Mom just wants me to be free to express and do everything.
I've been the princess that everyone saw since I was a kid. Suppressing my playful nature and being a polite and graceful child.
"Suppressing yourself only destroys you, child. If you want to fight in this war, fight as yourself. Not as someone they expected you to be." Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko habang nakikinig ako sa kanya.
"I-I don't want to be evil!" Sigaw ko sa kanya kaya nakita kong parang nalungkot siya nung sinigawan ko siya. I flinched a bit when she moved her hand but I relaxed when I felt her warm palm on my cheek.
"I am not telling you to be evil. I am telling you to be yourself." Mahinahon niyang sabi.
"Why? Do you think Reed is evil?" Kumunot na naman ang noo ko dahil sa tanong niya. Time kept asking questions that are unrelated to what we were talking about. Pero sumagot parin ako.
"Reed is Reed." Sagot ko at inangat ang tingin ko kay Time na nakahawak parin sa pisngi ko. The warmth of her hand is like Mom's. "P-Pero bakit niyo po ako tinatanong tungkol kay Reed? We're differen—"
"No, child. You and Reed are the same. You're connected." Agad na kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. What was that? Connected?
"You and the boy are both born on the same day, the same hour, same minute, same second and with the same purpose in this world." Mas lalo akong naguluhan sa sinabi niya. Time stood up, walked around me as if she was reading the temperature of the surface or more like as if she was about to say something big.
"You are connected from him from the second you were born." Aniya.
"The reason why Reed seek power when he was young was that he was yearning for you. He knew that he had to find answers. The boy felt the connection you two have. The connection that you dismissed. That connection in the reason why Reed is a member of your team now." Wala akong masyadong naiintindihan sa mga sinabi niya pero nakinig ako.
"What's.. what's our purpose?" Tanong ko. Time smiled at me. "What do you think?" She asked kaya napaisip rin ako.
"Well, pareho kaming gustong talunin si Uno." Sagot ko at dun na tumango si Time.
"Every creature is born with a purpose, child. The two of you just have a bigger responsibility on your shoulder." Aniya. I don't know why Reed was brought to the bigger picture. I thought I was the only one thinking of bringing Uno down. I thought—wait..
Agad akong tumingin kay Time na nakatingin parin sa akin.
"You get it now?" She asked.
"T-This.. this war, you knew this would happen?" Tanong ko at tumango lang siya bilang sagot.
"A-And you also know who's going to win, right? You already know the future!" Sabi ko at tsaka lumapit sa kanya. Time giggled at my excitement at tsaka hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ko. "Tell me! Please! Will we win? Will Team Alpha recover? What's our future?" Sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kanya.
Time shushed me.
"Now, child. The future isn't meant to be told. The future just comes." Sagot niya at hinawakan ang buhok ko.
"But the future of the realm depends on your decision." Agad na kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya at nagtanong kung anong ibig niyang sabihin. "Well, you have two choices. Choose wisely and a great future is guaranteed for everyone." Sabi niya at umupo sa harap ko.
Pinaupo niya narin ako at tsaka ako pinahiga at pinaunan sa hita niya.
Trees started growing around us and just when I knew it, we were on a flower field. Cold wind and Time's warm fingers brushing my hair. I don't know why she was showing a motherly affection to me. But I let it be. It was comforting.
Too comforting.
"Whose future are you fighting for, child?" Tanong niya na naman.
"My family. My team. My unborn cousin. The striving students of UHT. The loyal vampires in Archia. And I think almost every living creature in my realm." Diretso kong sagot. Time beamed a smile, stroking my hair.
"That's a big responsibility for a little girl." Sabi niya kaya tumingala ako sa kanya.
"So, what are my choices?" Tanong ko. I wanted to divert away from her talking about responsibilities because I know I might turn out to be someone who's all talk but no action.
"The first one, stay with your family. The second one, move away." Saglit na kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "Move away? Bakit ko naman po gagawin 'yun?" Tanong ko.
"Because knowing your condition, if you stay here, you'll die. If you move away, you might have a second chance to live." May malungkot na ngiti na umusli sa labi ko at tinitigan ko ang mga mata niya. I know she and the Creator are siblings. Kuya Xy told me that.
That means that these two works with fate.
"Miss Time?" I called her. She hummed as a response.
"If I was only going to die, why did you let me be born?" Diretso kong tanong sa kanya. Nakita kong natigilan siya at umiwas ng tingin.
"If you promised my Mom a good life, sana hindi nalang po ako dumating. Ever since I was born, Mommy always cried. Is that how you picture a good life, Miss Time?" Tanong ko ulit pero hindi niya ako sinagot.
"We make mistakes too, child. That's why I'm trying to fix it." Sabi niya at dahan-dahan na akong tiningnan.
"Was I a mistake?" Diretso kong tanong at dun ko na naramdamang may basang bagay na tumulo sa mukha ko. I was confused. It wasn't raining. Just then I realized, those were tears.
Time was crying. A deity is crying, in front of me.
"No, child. You're a miracle." Sagot niya at sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay niyakap niya na naman ako. "Then why are you crying?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Child, do you regret that you were born?" Tanong niya. I paused, thinking about her question for a while. And then, smiling faces popped into my head, causing me to smile. "No." Sagot ko at tumingin sa kanya.
"Even if you are just born to suffer?" Tanong niya ulit. "I don't mind." Sagot ko muli at tumingin sa paligid.
"Why? Why are you so obsessed with living when you know that you'll just suffer?" Her question made me giggle for an unknown reason.
"Because there is no such thing as eternal suffering, Miss Time. I believe that if I make the right choices, my suffering might end." Sagot ko at naramdaman kong humigpit ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin.
After that, Time told me something about my future.
The choices I might make. The events that might happen in the future and the sacrifices that I might have to do. She showed me who I might really be. That I am not just the Princess of Archia. That I could be someone more.
She told me to trust someone. Wesy.
She told me to be a Hunter. It was a future that she said that has a higher chance of us winning. Time broke nature's law by giving me hints of the future.
We ended our conversation with a warm kiss on my forehead as she smiled at me with hope and sincerity. Wishing me luck on my battles.
I am not alone in this battle. I have my team. But this poison inside me, I need to be one with it. I once had a lot in my mind. Ang dami kong iniisip gaya ng posibleng kasal nina Blu at Kharis. Iniisip ko rin kung may problema ba si Kuya Xy dahil palagi siyang walang tulog.
I'm concerned about my family. How they're going to recover and how I want my unborn cousin to be born in a realm that's threat-free. I was also concerned for Audin after seeing him cry at his village. Nag-aalala rin ako kay Shinshi, knowing that she's seeing sights of the past and the future and it's taking a toll on her body.
I'm concerned about Atlas because he's feeling inferior from anybody even though he's a male wolf. Pakiramdam niya rin na wala siyang karapatang mag may-ari ng kung ano o kung sino rito sa realm. He feels so small.
Nag-aalala rin ako kay Archer. He needs me to give him fact checks every night. To keep him sane. To keep him away from nightmares.
I'm concerned about Kuya Ash and Azura. Their relationship hasn't really been as stable as anything I've seen. I'm concerned about everything I see. I'm concerned about Blu's thoughts and feelings. That I have been rejecting what he offers me and then here I am telling him that he's mine kahit hindi ko naman kayang panindigan.
I'm concerned about the changes in Reed's character. Even though he's changing for the best, there's still my concern over his arm. His very weakness. And the curse.
And I'm mostly concerned about Lucas. He's been neglecting the vampire in him at alam kong makakasama 'yun sa kanya. I'm concerned about everything kaya minsan, nawawala ako sa plano.
And that's why I decided to be selfish. Just for once.
Na mga plano ko lang ang iisipin ko. Na sarili ko na muna ang babantayan at aalagaan ko. Because if I want to be concerned about everyone, I can do that if the war is over. So, for now, I'll be focusing on my plan and myself.
I needed to be selfish.
I need to move away from my family. Finding myself and what makes me me.
"Are you evil or are you good?" Wesy asked me while we're at the plantation. I looked at him.
"What do you think?" I asked. Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit sa akin at yumuko sa harap ko, our faces just a few inches from each other. "Be evil." He said.
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.
"You're trying to defeat evil, right?" Tanong niya at tumango ulit ako.
"Then be evil. Hindi naman kasi palagi na mabuti lang ang nakakatalo sa masama. Sometimes, you have to fight evil with evil." Dagdag niya at tsaka ginulo ang buhok ko. I tilted my head to the side and looked at him. "Ha?" Mahina kong tanong at bigla nalang siyang natawa, calling me cute and looking away.
Maya-maya ay tumikhim siya at tumingin sa akin.
"Hades is evil, right?" Tanong niya.
"W-Well, he's my Grandpa—but yes, it's his nature!" Sagot ko at umangat lang ang gilid ng labi niya.
"And demons are evil too, right?" Tanong niya at tumango ako bilang sagot.
"Then how come Hades is superior to demons when they're both evil?" Tanong niya lit.
"That's because he's more evil. More powerful." Tiningnan ko lang siya ng masama sa sinabi niya pero maya-maya ay naiba ang tingin ko sa kanya dahil naisip ko ang sinabi niya. "Sometimes, fighting evil with good isn't the only way." Aniya at pumitas ng pomegranate.
"Because that's what you're trying to do, right? Fighting evil with good." Nakangisi niyang tanong at tumango naman ako bilang sagot.
"That won't work right now, sweetie." Angat-labi niyang sabi at tinanggal ang pagkakabutones ng polo niya sabay paypay sa sarili. Well, we're in hell. It sure is hot in here. "So, I have to be evil?" Tanong ko.
"What do you think?" Binalik niya lang sa akin ang tanong ko.
"Be superior, Zia." Aniya at pinasa na sa akin ang pomegranate. Sinalo ko naman ito at tsaka tiningnan si Wesy.
"So, what do you say?" Tanong niya at naglakad palapit sa akin. I looked up to him and his hand reached for my jaw, squishing my cheeks and smiling at me. "I'll be with you all the way." He said.
What Time said came into my head, making me quiet for a whole minute. I know that I was making a huge decision. But then, just like what Mommy says, this is my life. My own decisions matter.
I bit my finger, dropped my blood on the pomegranate, and seeing how it died in front of me. With this much evil, much power. I hated it before. I feared it. But now, I'll use it to my advantage. I might turn to the dark side, but with a purpose.
I need to protect those who I love. I might change along the way. I might hurt my team and my family but at the end of the day, I'll make sure to save every single one.
I am doing all of this because I am the living poison. Wesy asked me again. "Are you evil or are you not?" And do you wanna know what I said?
"Evil."
❅ Snow ❅