○•Chapter 10: My Personal Guidance Counselor•○
Its been a weeks since that day and things haven't been any better. Chris have been avoiding me and mom trapped herself; inside of her bedroom. Dad also moved out of the house so I'm assuming its official. Mom and dad are going to divorce. They've already booked an appointment to discuss about their divorcement plan and they aren't going to turn their backs on this. Can my life get any worse? I don't need all this drama in my life.
"Emily..?" Lily nudges me. I feel like all my happiness had just sucked out of me.
"Hm? " I forced a smile.
"You haven't touch your food..." She points at my plate of macorani and cheese. I hate Macorani and cheese. It looks so cheesy and it just disgusts me.
"Oh, I don't know.." I picked up my fork and started picking at it.
"Okay Emily, you can't fool me. I know something's on your mind." She may be my BFF but I didn't tell her about my parents divorce because i wasn't sure if it was official and I don't know how to tell her.
"Seriously its nothing.." I stabbed a macorani and it gushes out the cheese. Eww.
"Is it about Chris?" She askes. I don't even know myself. Am I upset about my parents divorcing or is it Chris?? I feel so confused.
"I guess you can say that.. But i'm not sure." I pouted.
"Is he still ignoring you?" She takes a bite out of her spagetti. I wish I had spagetti, better then Macorani and cheese. I stabbed another macorani.
"Yeah... but I get it. He probably doesn't want to be rejected and plus I said I wanted time to think about it .." I sighed. Finally taking a bite out of my macorani. Ugh, i hate the taste of cheese. No offense to people who does like it though.
"Awww you poor thing." She frowns and gives me a big bear hug. It feels nice to have someone comforting me. I feel like i'm not alone; if you get what I mean.
"Have you found out your feelings for him yet?" She shouts out loud.. Thank goodness we're at the park. That way nobody can hear us but still.
"No. I'm still confused...What do you think I should do Lils??" I brushed my hair out of the way.
"I don't know, you just have to listen to your heart. Do what the heart wants." She says. Listen to your heart... I don't know what my heart wants though.
"How do you listen to your heart?" I questioned. I placed my chin on my hands. Why is this so hard?
"I don't know. Its just what most people say you should do; in this kind of situation." she shrugged and carried on with her energy drink. I sighed. How am I suppose to do that? Do I need to search this up or something?
"Look, just think about him." Lily holds my hands. He's nice and insanely annoying, but when I'm with him he makes me feel special. Maybe I should give him a try? Should I? I'm scared that I'll make the wrong choice.
"How do you feel?" She looks at me.
"I feel like he really is a great guy, but I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship with him." I dropped my fork and looked down at my macorani and cheese. I think I've ate enough. The macorani and cheese is not agreeing with my stomach...
"Is that a no?" she raises her right eyebrow.
"I don't know." My stomach is starting to hurt. I knew I shouldn't have eaten it.
"Or is there someone else?" She pursed her lips. My eyes widened. Someone else?? Do I have anyone else in mind? I don't think so... What is she talking about?
"Like who? I really don't have anyone else in mind." I asked her. Now this I've got to hear.
"Uhh.. Like Jayden???" She says in a "duh" voice. She rolls her eyes. Wow, she makes me sound blunt. Yes! You finally noticed! A voice in my head screamed. What?!
"....J-Jayden?!" I almost choked on my water.
"Yes, Jayden from our Gym class." She confirmed. I do not like Jayden! It doesn't even matter, he doesn't like me back. Have you seen what I've done to the poor guy?
"I d-do not like him!" I folded my arms. She rolled her eyes.
"Yes you do." She confirms.
"No I do not!!" I got up and threw my tray into the trash can. I'm never having macorani and cheese again!
"Girl, you're like head over heels for him." She gets up and gives me my bag. What if she's right? I shook my head. No it can't be...
"Let's go, Its almost time for gym." She smirks at me and I immediately knew what she was thinking.
"I also heard there's going to be a assignment." she sticks out her tongue. She's totally implying "it". I rolled my eyes. Lily is just unbelievable.
"Let's just go, LilZ." Making the Z stand out. Hey I have a new nickname for her! I grinned at her.
"Oh so now I'm Lilz??" she askes and I nodded my head.
"Come on." I laughed.
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Turns out Lily really wasn't lying.
Here I am sitting beside Jayden Blake in the library. Hands shaking, stomach aching and still blushing. Why won't my heart calm down? If i'm this nervous, then maybe I do.... NO! I do not like him, I do not like him.
"Okay so we have to make a presentation about a drug. What drug do you want to do??" He askes me. I barely caught what he said. When I'm with Chris, I feel a lot more comfortable, but when I'm with Jayden, I literally freak out!
"Uhhh, Ecstasy..??" I muttered. I literally can't speak to this boy. I feel so ashamed of myself, I need to find a way to stop being so shy; I'm sick of it.
"Hm? What?" He leans closer for him to hear. Panic. Panic. Okay, I just need to breathe in and out. See, much better right?
"I-I said Ecstasy!" I said in a much louder voice then necessary. The people around us glared at me. Yeah, definitely was louder then necessary. I bowed my head at them and they looked away. One of them even pointed at me. Wow, tough crowd.
"Don't need to be so loud, you're going to get us kicked out..." He whispers. How embarrassing.
"Sorry...So ecstasy?" I asked him. At least I have the courage to speak now. Better then 10 minutes ago when I was constantly stuttering and fidgeting. I mentally shake my head. How do people do this?
"Mm hmm." he nodded his head and gave me a little smile. I can feel my heart beating at the rate of 135. I couldn't think straight, all I did was smile like a goofball. This is bad, somebody get me to a doctor please!! I think i'm going to pass out soon!
"Can you pass me a pencil? I left my pencil case at home." he looked at me. I see.
"Wait .Let me get my pencil case." I unzipped my bag and pulled out my grey pencil case. I handed him a blue sparkily lid pencils. I forgot that I borrowed that from Alyssa. I guess its alright if I let Jayden borrow right? He looked at the pencil for a moment but accepted it anyways. What can I do? Its either this one or the pink hello kitty one.
"Thanks." he smiles at me. This boy have got to stop smiling... I can't take it anymore. Right when I was about to get another lead pencil for myself, somebody's phone blasted music in the library.
"Party rock is in the house tonight
Everybody just have a good time
And we gonna make you lose your mind
Everybody just have a good time"
Jayden quickly pulled out his IPhone from his jeans pocket and answered it. I rolled my eyes. Does everybody love that song? Its so wrong but I guess its catchy.
"Hey mom." he said. HIs mom calls him? I thought a guy like him, would be too busy with his friends or possibly a girlfriend.
"I know, I know. I'll be back around 8." He rolled his eyes. I'm guessing she was just checking on him. Yup, I was right.
" Okay. Bye mom." And he immediately hanged up; shoving his phone into his pocket.
"Sorry about that, it was my mom." He shrugged and went back to whatever he was writing.
"Oh no, its okay." I smiled. Yeah, that's right I finally figured out how to smile in front of him.
"Doesn't your mom ever call?" he askes; still writing. Wow he's a hardworker.
"Of course she does. its just these days..." I hesitated. Ever since that day, She's been crying her heart out. Now that I think about it, I should really be more aware of her. Who knows what she'll do' now that Dad's gone who know's what she's thinking.
"If you don't want to talk about it, its fine with me. Don't push yourself into telling me." He gives me a stern look. I sighed.
"My parents are planning to divorce and she's just been... so busy that she's forgotten about me.." i started to twirl my lead pencil around. He nods. Its nice to finally get that off my chest. Odd. Out of everyone, he's the one I tell. Lily doesn't even know about this. I guess I was just desperate.
"Why are they divorcing?" He asks me. I hesitated before answering him.
"They... I mean ...My dad cheated on my mom..So my mom wants to divorce." I cleared my throat. I'm starting to choke on my words. It was silent for a moment. Maybe I shouldn't have told him about my problems; I mean its not any of his business. We should just work on our assignment, he's not Dr.Phil.
"Let's just work on the assignment, I mean my life story doesn't really matter at th-"
"It does matter." He stared at me.
"What?" I slowly asks. How does it matter? My life is just full of crap.
"You can't just keep it all in and pretend like nothing ever happened." He firmly said. He's actually trying to make a effort to comfort me... that's very sweet of him.
"Just by saying that, already makes me happy. Thank you." I smile at him. For a moment he just stares at me. Is my smile weird? Maybe being too comfortable around him, just ruined everything for me.
"You never smiled at me before." He softly said. I blinked twice. He noticed? Whenever I'm with Jayden, I always find myself being surprised. There's just so much things I don't know about him.
"Oh..." I nodded. Then I give him another smile. He looked stunned and I laughed. He laughs along with me.
"Sshhh!" The people around us shushed. We both looked at each other and we burst into laughter. I'm actually having a good time. I rubbed my eyes. Oh wow, I'm actually tearing up. Its been a while since I've laughed this much and it feels nice.
"Okay, I think we should stop laughing now." he smiles at me and I agreed. So we continued working on our assignment together.
"I think we should make a powerpoint, that way it'll be easier to present." He nodded and jotted it down.
"Hey.. What's your email address?" He asked me. I was shocked. He wanted my email?! A sudden feeling of happiness swarms in. Jayden wants my email!!
"Why?" I smiled at him; I can't stop myself from smiling.
"You know... to work on it together.." he cleared up for me. Oh. I guess I overreacted.
"Oh, okay then." He handed me his phone. I was considering if I should give him phone number too, but nah he only asked me for my email. Hey, its better then nothing right? I smiled happily, until the libarian sneaks up behind us. She started me; making me jump.
"The library will be closing in 5 minutes, so you guys better start packing up." She smiled and leaved.
"Oh my gosh, she scared me." Placing my hand over my heart. It was pacing so fast; she almost gave me a heart attack! She gives me a quick glance and walked towards the group of kids by the corner. Great, she heard me.
"Yeah same here." he says. He stuffed his binder into his black nike backpack. I better get packing too. The libarian is starting to creep me out. I looked over my shoulder and saw her watching my every move. I quickly looked away.
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"Where do you live?" he askes me. Why does he suddenly want to know where I live? I raised my eyebrow.
"Why do you ask?" I asked.
"I didn't mean it in a stalkish way." he gave me a weird look. I sigh in relief. That's good.
"Then what?"
"I just wanted to walk you home.. since you know.... its dangerous for a girl to walk home by herself.." He turned his head away from me. I couldn't help but smile. Well, isn't he a gentlemen?
"No, its okay. I can walk by myself." I said. Even though I enjoy his company, I still want to show some pride.
"Are you sure?" He looks worried. He's so caring but I just can't; I already wasted enough of his time... I nodded.
"Okay then, be careful." He flashes another smile and we both separate into different directions.
Now that he's gone I feel a little lonely. Maybe I should have said yes; I wonder what will happen if I did say yes? I look down the empty street; it was so dark that the lights flickered. How creepy! I guess I'll take the bus then, the faster I get home, the better! So I stood beside the bus stop. Wait, did I bring enough change? I reached for my wallet that was in one of my secret pocket. I zipped it open and searched for $3.75 but then I felt a droplet on my head. Is it going to rain? As in a reply, a thousand droplets splattered me from above. Dammit, I forgot my umbrella too.
"Missed me?" A guy whispered.
Who is it?? I immediately turned around, tightly holding onto my wallet. Whoever it is, they are not going to steal my wallet! Then in my surprise, I saw a sandy blonde guy in aqua blue eyes standing in front of me. He was holding a umbrella over my head and was soaked and wet.
"Jayden! You scared me!" I sighed in relief. He flicked his wet blonde hair. Man was that hot!
"What are you doing here? I thought you lived somewhere else." I asked.
"Well, I couldn't just leave you. So I followed you and good thing I did." he gave me one of his dorky smiles. The one that I love so much. Suddenly, I felt something slid down my shirt. Oh my gosh! I accidentally jumped on him and he stumbled back.
"Ahh!" I felt like I was about to cry. He stood there; surprised. I immediately let go of him, when I realized I was hugging him. Oh, why did I do that? I'm going to scared this boy away.
"I'm sorry..." I looked away. So embarrassing! I mentally slapped myself. It was just a little droplet, why did I have to overreact??
"No, its okay... I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have let you alone.." His faced was light pink. He's embarrassed?! He's so cute.
"...Thank you." I blushed. He doesn't have to be so nice to me. He's just going to make me fall for him. He stood there in front of me, swaying his feet back and forth. He seems to do that a lot, but is it weird that I find it cute?
"So do you want to get going?" he asks. I nodded. While we were walking side by side, I couldn't help but glance at him. He was dazing off into space and it makes me curious of what he was thinking.
"Is your parents going to divorce." he said. His eyes were still looking forward.
"I guess so.." I muttered.
"Do you want them to?" He asked. Do I? I'm not even sure, myself.
"I don't know... My dad did cheated on my mom and when he was in Los Angeles, He didn't call us back or payed any attention to us." I hesitated. This was so hard for me to say. Its like I am forcing myself to tell him.
"Then that's a no right?" He questioned.
"I guess you can say that." I said. He looks deeply into thought. I wonder why he cares so much about it. What's got him thinking?
"Why you ask?" I asked him. I wasn't sure if I should ask, but I guess I had the right to. He pursed his lips.
"I felt like you really needed someone to talk to." he confessed. That made my heart quivered. I've never met someone like him before. He's so different; like he cares about me and is willing to listen to me. His girlfriend does not know how lucky she is.
"You don't have to do this for me..." We both stopped for the pedestrian sign to change. I looked at him, but he just continued to look forward. His expression was unreadable.
"I just don't like to see people hurt." he said. Doesn't like to see people hurt? Does that mean he was just pitying me? I nodded my head slowly. I understand now, I was just overthinking it. For a second there, I actually thought he liked me....
"But, if you need anyone to talk to.." he hesitated. I glanced up. He looked so serious.
"Then you can always come to me..." He said. B-bump!
"What?" I asked. My eyes widened. So he's going to be like my personal guidance consellor? I smiled. How cute of him. Can he get any cuter then this??
"You can talk to me when you need someone to talk to." He blurted out. I chuckled. So cute.
"Okay, then." I smiled happily, then the predestrian sign finally flashed and we continue walking along the sidewalk.
"Your house is quite far." he said. Jefferson high is consisted of 5 different schools and my house happens to be the furthest from the school. Aren't I lucky?
"Yeah, that's why my mom always drives me and my brother to school." I explained. He raises his eyebrow.
"You have a brother??" he sounds shocked.
"Yeah. You never knew?" Of course he never knew, I never talk to him! ah, stupid, stupid!
"To be honest, I'm not really that close to you and this is like what? our 3rd time talking?" he said. I laughed.
"Touché." I said, as I nodded my head.
"Hey, its not that bad." I implyed. He shrugs.
"I guess so." He smiles at me. Buzz. I felt something vibrate. Oh yeah! I left my phone on vibrate because we were at the library. I pulled out my phone from my jeans pocket and checked who texted me. "You've got a message from Lily." She is so predictable.
"You got a text?" He askes me.
"Hm, yeah." I smiled at him and clicked on the text.
Lily: How's your study date going? :D
xoxo Lilz (and yes i actually like the nickname LOL)
I rolled my eyes. Does she have to text me every time she knows I'm alone with a boy? Can't a girl have her privacy? But then again, that makes her even more predictable. So I texted back saying:
Me: Really good ^^ He's even walking me home!! Talk to you when i get back ;) (it is not a study date!)
-Emily <3
That'll do the trick. I slid my phone into my jeans pocket and continued walking with Jayden.
"Was that your boyfriend?" he askes me; all of a sudden. Boyfriend? Does he think I have one? Well, I'm not even sure myself.. Since I haven't really given my answer to Chris yet.. But its still consider a no.
"Hmm...Not really." I said. His face became more relaxed. Is that a good sign? I smiled. I just can't get enough of this boy.
"Oh, okay then." He smiled. What was all that about?
"Why? Do you have one?" I asked him. I bet he does, how can someone as hot as him, be single??
"Maybe." He smirked at me. Wow, he won't even tell me. It doesn't matter if he has one. Like, all the girls in my classes have a crush on him, so I'm used to it. I don't know why, but just thinking of him with another girl makes me jealous.
"Fine, don't tell me then." I turn my head towards the road, If he doesn't tell me I guess there's no point on talking about this anymore. Then I heard him laugh.
"I don't." He chuckled.. Suddenly, I feel a lot more relieved; its like the jealousy just disappeared. I cracked a smile and we made a turn around the curve. Almost there.
"But why you ask?" I asked him, hoping for a good explaination.
"Why did YOU ask then?" He smirks at me. He obviously won't answer me until I give him my answer. I'm not going to tell him that I was jealous. That's too straight forward. I ignored him and continued walking until I saw my house.
"I'm here." I stick out my tongue at him and he gasped sarcastically. I couldn't help but laugh. He's hilarious!
"Thanks for walking me home, it means a lot to me." I smiled at him. Then my mom unexpectedly comes running in; holding a blue polka dot umbrella. What's she doing?! Please don't let her see me! Please! But it was already too late, she was charging towards me. She looks pissed. This is bad!
"Emily! Where were you?" She demanded a answer from me.
"I-I" I stuttered. Then she looks at Jayden and I. Oh no. She can't possibly...
"Oh I see." She winks at me and there it is. I can see Jayden shifting uncomfortabily. Ugh, mom!
"Mom! Its not what you think!" I told her, but she ignored me and turned to Jayden. Jayden smiled.
"Hi, Mrs. Johnson. I'm Jayden. Nice to meet you" he shakes her hand.
"Why, aren't you a gentlemen." she looks at me and mouths out "wow". I nodded. Yeah, I know.
"Mom let's go inside, Jayden needs to go home for dinner." I pulled on her sleeve; hoping she will listen to me. Then her eyes sparkled. Oh no, I just gave her a idea.
"Well, Jayden you can join us for dinner. I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind." She offered and gives me a thumbs up. Facepalm. Mom.. What exactly are you doing?!
"Uh, no its okay. Mrs.Johnson." he winked at me and I can feel my face go red. Awww he did that for me or he just didn't want to have dinner with me... Maybe I am overthinking this. I shaked my head, mentally.
"Well mom, there's your answer. Now go back inside." She muttered something under her breath, but I couldn't hear her clearly. She opened the front door and closed it behind her.
"I'm so sorry. My mom's like that.." I apologized. He smiles at me and I can feel something blossom inside me. He checks his phone.
"Well I've got to go now." He said. I kind of don't want him to go, I admit I like him but I'm still not sure if its in the way Lily and mom thinks it is. I bit my lower lip.
"Wait." I muttered. That just came out of no where. You know, I need to think before I speak. Note to self: Never open your mouth when you're thinking.
"Yeah?" He looks up from his phone and my eyes locked onto his. The water hits the umbrella above us and it made me feel even more tense. He raises his eyebrow; waiting for a answer.
"Um." I hesitated. He blinked his eyes.
"Nevermind." I finally said. That's all I can say. Have I gone mad? He stares at me weirdly. I can feel my cheeks getting brighter.
"Okay then. I'll talk to you once I get home. So we can you know." He says. I nodded. He placed his umbrella into my hand and pulls his hood over his head. What is he doing?
"Here. I can just wear my hoodie." He smiles at me and runs off into the rain. What?! He's going to catch a cold like that! I can't just leave him running in the rain!
"Jayden! Take it back!" I screamed. Come on. Listen to me. He turned and before I know it, he was showing off his "signature" smile. I bit my lip and he continues to run into the rain.
I touched my cheeks. Just like Chris said, they were really warm. My heart was harmonizing with the rhythm of the rain; as it hits the ground. What's this feeling? It feels warm and fuzzy. Is Lily right? Do I like him? Is that why I couldn't say yes to Chris?
I stood there in the rain feeling confused; as I watch him disappear into the fog.
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Finally done! This took me like 3 hours to write! I have to go to sleep soon, since my dad is complaining =.=
I hope you liked this chapter :) ooooh it sounds like somebody has a crush <3 Who will she choose? lol Who will you choose?
Anyways Bye bye! **
~Swirleysmoothie <3