CHAPTER TEN
DADDY ISSUES — THE NEIGHBOURHOOD
I didn't cry when you left at first
But now that you're dead it hurts
This time I gotta know
Where did my daddy go?
IF STELLA WERE to be completely honest, all she expected from the night was to trespass on private property and leave the cemetery empty handed. The last thing she expected was to find a large FedEx package stuffed in the wall of the world's creepiest mausoleum—not that she's ever broken into another mausoleum before.
Boosting Kie out of the tomb, all Stella could think about was John B and how he would react. She really hoped that the package had something of meaning inside of it, not wanting to see the disappointed expression of her best friend again.
When Kie was out, she grabbed Stella's hand and pulled her out. When her two feet were planted firmly on the grass, she turned to John B and handed him the white FedEx package they found.
Before Stella could even catch her breath, JJ pulled her by the arm and placed both hands on her shoulders. "You okay?" he questioned, looking over her figure and scanning for injuries. "No snake bites or anything? I didn't hear barking so you're good, right?"
Stella rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips curling upwards, and gently pushed his arms away. "I'm fine, J." She reached down and brought the joint he was smoking up to his lips. "Here, take a hit and relax. You look like you need it."
"Are you saying I looked stressed?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
"Because I am." JJ nodded, smoke leaving his mouth as he spoke. "You stress me out."
"You should worry less. If you keep it up, you'll get wrinkles by the time you're twenty." Stella flicked his forehead and walked off to join Kie's side.
"Sorry!" He shouted rather dramatically after her. "I didn't know caring was a crime!"
Stella's face broke out into a wide grin and without looking back, she playfully flipped him off.
JJ shook his head as he stared at her retreating figure with a fond look and took a drag of his joint. "Screaming in a tomb like a crazy person, christ woman," he muttered to himself. He turned to face the cemetery and as the cloud of smoke disappeared, his eyes widened and he turned to his friends. "Oh, shit. Code red. Code red. Square groupers!"
There was collective response, the four other teens inhaling sharply, and they scrambled to the side of the mausoleum to hide.
"Lights!" Kie ordered, crouching next to the stone wall.
Stella clicked her flashlight off and turned to the others. Her eyebrows drew together as she watched John B try to hide his lantern in his shirt. "What are you— Oh, give me that!" After taking the lantern and shutting it off, she peered around the corner. "Is it them? I can't tell."
From his spot beside her, JJ nodded his head and pulled her back. "Homie's got a gun."
Kie shook her head. "Screw this." Without a word of warning, she took off running in the direction of the van. The rest followed at a sprint and hopped over the gate.
Stella was the second to last person in the graveyard and when she looked up from the headstones she was trying to avoid running into, she saw that JJ was hanging off the fence waiting for her. "JJ, what are you doing? Just go!" She waved him away, but he didn't say anything as he climbed over the other side and helped her down from the wall.
"Guys! Guys!" They all turned to Pope, who was hanging on the side of the fence. "Guys, I'm stuck."
"Pope, come on!" JJ shouted, pulling out his gun. He pointed it at the boy and shut one of his eyes to aim. "Pope, don't move, okay?"
Stella and John B jumped to shove his arm down while Kie ran over and took a hold of Pope's waist.
"You're gonna rip me," Pope frantically stated. "You're gonna rip me!"
"You're fine." Kie pulled him off of the fence, and like Pope predicted, his pants ripped.
Stella laughed as she watched Pope run to the van in his underwear and sent him a teasing grin that matched the rest of her friends'
"It's a little Tootsie Roll!" JJ all but giggled.
The tires screeched before the doors shut and the five teens made their quick getaway, unaware that the square groupers they thought they saw were actually just the cemetery's watchmen.
"THAT'S GROSS, JJ."
Stella leaned against the counter of the Chateau's kitchen, watching as JJ spread jam onto a piece of moldy bread. She didn't know why he chose to eat that of all things when they had stocked John B's pantry days earlier.
"At least toast it or something."
Pope entered the kitchen and raised a brow at Stella's disgusted expression. He understood the reason for it when his attention shifted to the boy in front of her. "That bread had mold on it three days ago," he stated, silently judging the blond.
"I'll just pull off the bad parts," JJ stated with a shrug. "Plus, mold is good for you. It's just a natural organism. Right, Stel?" He looked to her for approval, hoping that she noticed his use of a scientific term.
Stella did in fact notice and offered him a small smile. "Actually, eating moldy bread could lead to respiratory problems," she revealed, eyes shifting to the door as John B and Kie walked through it. "I read a paper once about—" There was a collective groan that sounded in the air. "Hey, why are you all groaning? It's interesting stuff!"
JJ, who was slightly deterred by her correction and confused about how something natural wasn't healthy, shot her a sarcastic look. "I'm sure it was incredibly enlightening," he drawled, closing the jar of jam, "but it's summer, Stel. Do you ever stop reading?"
John B walked through the kitchen and set the FedEx package on the dining table. "Yeah, I mean, who reads research articles for fun? I don't know how you remember all of that stuff anyways."
"Probably because she has this freaky photographic memory or something," Kie snickered, bumping Stella's shoulder as she passed.
Pope's gaze lingered on Kie as she sat across from John B, earning an odd look from Stella that disappeared when he turned to her. "I, for one, am very interested," he supported. "Carry on, Stella."
The girl in question gave a meek smile and shook her head. "I probably shouldn't." Her eyes landed on the package John B was staring so intently at and she nodded towards the dining table. "Come on, let's open this thing."
She walked into the dining room with Pope following after her. He sat beside Kie and threw a look over his shoulder. "JJ, come on."
The blond looked up from his bread and placed the dirty knife he was using in the sink. "Yup, yup, yup!" he said, racing over. "Hot damn! Let's do it."
Stella tried to hide her smile as JJ took a bite out of his sandwich and gagged.
He caught her reaction and pointed a finger at her, his eyebrows raised in warning. "Not a word," he said, throwing out the rest of his sandwich before returning to her side.
Stella just shook her head and watched as John B opened the package. He pulled out a map and unfolded it to reveal a large X drawn near the middle.
"X marks the spot, right?" Pope pointed to the bolded mark.
John B's eyes ran over the paper, his fingers tracing the axes. "Longitude, latitude." He glanced at the package. "Wait, there's something else in there." He put his hand in it and pulled out an old tape recorder.
"What's that?" JJ questioned.
Kie gave him a side glance. "It's a tape recorder, dumbass."
JJ recoiled, throwing his hands up in surrender, and took a few steps backwards until he was standing behind Stella. When his arms lowered, his hands landed on her shoulders and he gave her a light squeeze. He leaned forward so he could rest his chin on the top of her head as John B pressed the play button on the recorder.
A few seconds later, a familiar voice travelled through the air.
"Dear Bird."
"Who's Bird?" JJ asked.
John B let out a shaky breath. It had been so long that he had almost forgotten what his father sounded like. "That's what my dad called me."
"I hate to say, 'I told you so,' but I told you so. And you doubted your old man. I suspect at this moment, you're filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight, but don't kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn't expect to find the Merchant either."
There was a sharp inhale of breath and the five teenagers shared a look of disbelief.
"You were probably right to call me out. Wasn't exactly Father of the Decade. What can I say, kid? I could smell the barn. And hopefully, we're listenin' to this in our brand new sugar-shack down in Costa Rica, livin' off passive investments and pulling on permits. If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well, that's what the map is for. There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If somethin' happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn't always act like it. I'll see you on the other side."
There was a click that signified that the recording was finished and John B let out a sigh. His father was right about one thing: guilt and self-loathing was all he was filled with at the moment.
He stood from the table, walking away so he wouldn't cry in front of his friends, but he only made it about three feet before collapsing against the wall with his body raking with sobs.
"Holy shit, he did it!" JJ exclaimed excitedly, failing to read the room. "Big John— He found the Merchant—"
"JJ," Stella chastised with a disapproving shake of her head.
Kie was looking at him in disbelief. "Can you... can you please?" She shot him one last look before walking over to John B and wrapping her arms around him.
They didn't know what they were going to do. Big John left them everything they needed to find the Royal Merchant, and while that should've been the thing they were most concerned with, all they could worry about was their best friend as slowly unravelled before their eyes.
LATER THAT NIGHT, the five teenagers found themselves on the dock in John B's backyard. Kie was lightly strumming her ukulele while the others sat in silence, swimming in their own thoughts and cheap beer.
"How much was it again?" JJ asked suddenly, throwing a pebble into the water.
"Four hundred mil," Pope answered, causing Stella to let out a low whistle.
"Alright, let's talk the split."
JJ swung his leg over the railing so he could properly face his friends, nearly hitting Stella who was sitting on the bench in front of him. "Now, before we say 'evenly,' may I remind you that I am the only one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us." He pulled the stolen gun from his waistband and held it up for everyone to see. "Protection? Not cheap, okay?"
Pope turned to JJ with a flat expression. "You haven't trained," he stated. "You've done zero training."
"YouTube, bro! That's at least a five percent bump right there." JJ leaned forward so he was closer to Stella and quietly asked her, "What's five percent of four hundred mil?"
"Twenty million," she replied.
"Yup," JJ said, turning back to Pope. "Five percent bump, that's my offer. Take it or leave it."
"You haven't—"
"Any objections?" Both Stella and Kie raised their hands, but JJ chose to ignore them. "Didn't think so."
"Yeah," Pope huffed, rolling his eyes.
"I don't hear any, so..."
Kie shook her head and faced Pope. "What are you gonna do with your eighty mil, Pope?"
"Pay for college in advance," he answered after a moment of thought. "And also, textbooks. Those are expensive."
"What about you, Kie?" JJ asked glancing over at her. His hands fell and he started to play with Stella's hair.
"Yeah, what does a socialist do when she's rich?" Pope teased.
Kie chuckled before shrugging. "Just wanna make a double album," she stated, staring at the lantern in front of her with a twinkle in her eyes. "About OBX, the Pogues. You know, the way Catch a Fire is about Kingston. Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing."
Stella glanced up. "Isn't Peter Tosh—"
"Peter Tosh is dead. I know." Kie nodded. "But the spirit of Peter Tosh will never die." She smiled at Stella before asking her what she'd do with her share of the money. All but one expected her to say the same thing as Pope.
"Travel," she answered with a dreamy far off look. "I'd travel the world. Meet her people, try her food. Climb some mountains in Asia, surf some waves in South America and just... live."
It was safe to say her answer was far from what John B, Kie, and Pope expected. Stella had been dreaming about being a doctor since they met her.
"What about medical school?" Pope questioned, watching as JJ attempted to braid her hair.
Stella shrugged. "School will always be there when I get back. The world is calling and I have to see it before I can change it, right?"
JJ smiled softly and looked down at her like she hung the stars in the night sky, like the tide followed her and not the moon, like she was the force of gravity that kept him in place.
Though he regarded her with such fondness, he wasn't surprised by her answer because it was actually quite fitting.
Not many people knew the real reason behind Stella's choice in career path. Most people thought she wanted to be a doctor because her mother was and if they asked her, she'd say that saving lives would be a beautiful way of spending the rest of hers. Both were true of course, but JJ knew that at the heart of all her ambition—all the lengthy research articles she read, all the volunteer hours at the hospital, and all the perfect grades that graced her academic transcript—was the desire to leave her mark on the world. She wanted something tangible that proved she lived, that proved she wasn't just a face passing in the crowd.
Stella Marx wanted to matter. She wanted to see everything the world had to offer and meet as many people as she could. She wanted to be remembered. And touching a person's life in a positive way was the only form of immortality she could understand.
JJ wasn't surprised by her answer in the slightest. He was simply reminded that her soul was carefully crafted in the heavens, woven with golden thread spun from the sun above.
His adoring gaze didn't go unnoticed by his other friends as they shared a knowing look.
In his trance, JJ had stopped playing with Stella's hair, causing her to look up at him with a questioning gaze. He shook himself free from his thoughts and resumed his poor attempt at braiding, turning to the others and ignoring their suppressed grins.
"I know what I'll do," he announced. "I'm gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight and go full Kook."
They looked at him in amusement. "You're gonna go full Kook?"
"Yup," he affirmed, nodding his head. "Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I'm gonna get a koi pond. Put a bunch of those fish—"
"I'm never visiting," Kie laughed.
"Me neither," Stella chuckled, reaching her hand up so they could clink their beer bottles together.
JJ looked down at Stella with a goofy smile on his face and flicked her ear. "Bold of you to assume you won't already be there."
Stella's face flushed and she swatted his hand away, trying her best to ignore the fluttery feeling in her stomach. "Shut up, JJ."
"You can't visit somewhere you already live," he pointed out with a shrug.
Pope looked up at John B, who remained very quiet throughout the conversation. "What are you gonna do, JB?"
John B was silent for a second before the corners of his lips curled upwards. "To going full Kook." He raised his beer to the sky.
"To going full Kook!" Everyone raised their beers, cheering to the futures they thought was in their grasp.
How foolish of them to be so hopeful.
AFTER A LONG night of sharing dreams and a heavy morning filled with the silence of tired teens, the group went their separate ways with John B and JJ staying at the Chateau, and Pope and Kie going home until Stella finished her volunteer shift at the hospital. Once she was done, they would pick her up and formulate a plan that would kickstart their futures.
Stella walked through the halls of Kildare General, humming a song she had heard on the radio. She smiled sweetly at those she passed, offering a kind 'good morning' from time to time. The charts in her hands were particularly noisy today since the administration offices used hard shell plastic binders instead of soft ones like in the clinics. She preferred working in the clinics and care units upstairs as it was far less busy than the main floor where people were constantly going in and out of the building.
As she rounded corner at the end of the hall, she nearly crashed into something—that something actually being a someone.
Stella apologized profusely, struggling to grab a hold of her binders before they fell and clattered to the ground.
"You work here?"
She looked up and she swore her heart fell from her chest and onto the floor below her.
His eyes held no trace of recognition as he stared at her and he looked the exact same as she remembered.
It had been so long since they last saw each other and she couldn't exactly blame him for not realizing who she was. Her face was easily forgettable, she supposed.
But his wasn't.
Stella recognized the man instantly, just by his hardened stare and sharp-toned voice. His face was far from forgettable, because it was hard to forget a face that constantly plagued her nightmares.
When she realized that she had been silent for a moment too long, she pulled herself together and nodded. "Yeah, I'm... I'm a volunteer," she replied stiffly, any ability to talk smoothly under pressure now gone. Her hand lifted to cover her badge.
The older man gave her an odd look. "Where's the front desk?"
Her grip on the charts tightened as she hugged them close to her chest, no doubt a result of her unease.
She looked down the hall and nodded towards the area surrounded by a desolate waiting room. "It's, uh, it's right over there." She readjusted her grip and walked past him briskly, not wanting her face to be visible in case he was struck with a jolt of realization. "I can take you. I'm headed there anyways."
She walked to the front desk, leaving him to greet the receptionist on his own.
Many of the workers greeted her as she slid in behind the desk and she offered them a small, albeit fake, smile.
She knew she had two options: to eavesdrop or mind her own business.
Her curiosity got the better of her and she ended up choosing the former, taking a longer time to put away those charts than needed.
Stella stood with her back towards the older man, listening carefully as he requested the presence of Dr. Emma Marx.
She could feel her heart beating so erratically in her chest that the pounding of it could be felt in her head. Blood drained from her face and her hands started to shake, the overwhelming feeling of apprehension washing over her body like a big swell that had been building for ages. The moment the final chart had been placed in its proper place, Stella turned and walked away without a single word or glance. She needed to leave and she needed to leave now.
The walk from the front desk to the volunteer lounge was a blur and she entered the room louder than she meant to.
Her supervisor, a sweet middle aged woman who took a liking to Stella the moment they met, looked up at the noise. She had been working in her office with the door open and watched through the empty door frame as Stella struggled to regulate her breathing. The young girl hadn't noticed that she wasn't alone.
"Stella?" The older woman called, standing up from her desk. "Are you okay?"
Stella looked up and straightened her posture, nodding her head as she tried to mask any sign of inner struggle. "I'm fine," she lied, "I'm just a little tired is all."
Clearly unconvinced, the older woman raised a brow. "Are you sure, honey? You don't look too well." The colour in her face was gone and she was shaking like a leaf. "Why don't you go home and get some rest?"
"But—"
"That was more of an order than a friendly suggestion."
With a hesitant nod, Stella complied. "Alright," she submitted, "do you know where my mom is?"
"I think she's in surgery right now. There was an accident involving a fallen tree."
"Do you think I can get into the attending's lounge and leave a note in her locker?" Stella wasn't as nearly worried about herself as much as she was for her mother. She needed to warn her and knew that the longue would be the first place she'd go after surgery. "I would text her, but I can't call because the cell towers are still down and I don't want her to worry 'bout where I am."
Her supervisor gave her a sympathetic look and reached for her key card. "Of course."
Stella's presence in the hospital, and more specifically the attending's lounge, was a common occurrence after practically growing up in the building, so when the other doctors saw her scribbling on a napkin and placing it in her mom's locker, they paid her no mind.
She left the lounge quickly, rushing through the halls so she wouldn't run into the person she was avoiding. She was so focused on leaving that she hadn't noticed the blond boy charming the nurses at the front desk.
JJ excused himself from the conversation the moment he saw Stella pass by. "How you doin', sunbaby?" he questioned, following after her. There was no reply or acknowledgment, just his confusion as to why she was walking so fast. "Stel?"
The longer he stared at her, the more he could feel the waves of unease rippling from her tense figure. "Stella, slow down." He jogged to catch up with her and took a hold of her elbow, brows furrowing when she flinched. "Hey, hey, it's just me. What's wrong?"
When Stella saw that it was only JJ, her shoulders sagged in relief. "JJ?" she questioned, slowing to a stop as he moved to stand in front of her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "What are you doing here?"
"I was bored waiting our plans later so I came here to annoy you during your shift." He studied her with an analytical gaze. He knew she was upset by the sadness in her eyes and the way her brows furrowed. He knew she was anxious by the way she fiddled with the bracelets on her wrist and the way she avoided making eye contact. But what he didn't know was why. "Why are you upset?"
"I'm not upset," she denied, her eyes darting around their surroundings like she was looking for someone.
"Stella."
His tone of voice, gentle yet firm, caused her to look up at him. It was times like these where she hated how well he knew her. He could read her like an open book.
Her jaw clenched and she let out a shaky breath. "I just saw my dad."
JJ's eyes widened. "Your... dad?"
The Pogues didn't know anything about Stella's father apart from the fact that Emma had divorced him and Stella didn't like talking about him. The topic rarely came up in conversation, but when it did, Stella's entire demeanour would change and she'd change the subject.
JJ had his suspicions. He was observant when it came to Stella and after considering his experiences with his own father, he could draw a pretty good picture as to why she sometimes flinched when adults yelled around her or why she was so freaked out by the beatdown at Lana Grubbs' house.
Stella gave a weak nod. "Yeah."
If it were any other member of their friend group, they would question her further. Why was her father here? What did he want? Where in the hospital was he? Why was she so scared of him?
But JJ didn't care much for the details when the most important person in his life was standing in front of him with a frown on her pretty face. She was upset and he was going to get her out of here before doing anything else.
"Shit," he nodded, turning to look for the exit. "Okay, let's go."
The walk back to the Chateau was quiet. Stella was lost in her thoughts and JJ knew it was better to leave her alone as she processed things. Her mind was a complex maze, but she didn't need hand-holding.
It wasn't until they turned onto John B's street that JJ broke the silence.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
Her lack of a response caused him to look over at her.
"Stel, you know you can tell me anything."
Stella turned to him, her shoulder bumping his arm as they walked the uneven pavement. "I know," she replied with honesty dripping from her tongue. "I'm just not ready yet."
JJ nodded and gently elbowed her. "I'll be here to listen when you are."
If it were anyone else, Stella would've cracked a joke to hide her insecurity or invalidate her own emotions to downplay the situation. But it was JJ and he would've seen right through her.
So with a grateful nod and the faintest of smiles, she replied,
"Thanks, J."
RAE SPEAKS !
there's a little parallel to the first chapter :)
also we get to see a little bit of stella's dad, he doesn't have name yet but he'll be back.