CHAPTER 13
"I APPRECIATE you cooking for me, but, how about the Count?" Tanong ni Dimitri kay Cloud habang nagluluto ito ng hapunan. For some reason, last night, Cloud crashed in his place after getting drunk. Then the Count's butler woke up late, got drunk again, and now, eight hours later, Cloud's cooking them dinner. "How about Lord Jacques?"
Cloud froze for a second but Dimitri caught it.
"What happened with you and the Marquess?" Tanong ni Dimitri kay Cloud.
"Nothing." With a perfect happy smile, Cloud faced him with their dinner. "Let's eat."
Mas lalong tumiim ang titig niya kay Cloud. "Don't lie to me, Cloud. This is not nothing. Ito ang unang beses na iniwan mo ang Conde ng mag-isa. Remember your promise not to leave his side?"
Iritadong inilapag ni Cloud ang pinggan na may pagkain sa pangdalawahang lamesa. That stunned Dimitri. Cloud was always calm and collected, not ill tempered.
"I just need to breathe." Ani Cloud. "I'll go home tomorrow morning."
Dimitri frowned. "Tell me what happened."
Umiling ang kausap. "Drop it, Dimitri. I'll figure it out on my own."
"But—"
"Let's eat."
Napabuntong-hininga nalang si Dimitri saka napailing at napipilitang itikom ang bibig. Cloud was the kind of person that has impenetrable walls built around him. People has no effect on him. Only one man was able to get through that wall and made Cloud care, and that was the Count.
Dimitri stared at Cloud, studying the emotion on his face. "May nakapasok ba sa mundo mo, maliban sa Conde?"
Cloud didn't stop eating. He didn't answer him. Nothing. Cloud just ate silently, after that, Cloud went to open his refrigerator to get some cold beer, then he started drinking again.
What the fuck happened to this guy?
Napailing nalang si Dimitri, kapagkuwan ay napatingin sa cellphone niya na nasa gilid ng kama na nag-iingay.
Dimitri stood up to answer the call. It was the Marquess.
"Hey." The Marquess' tone was unpleasant as ever. "Is Cloud still with you?"
Napatingin siya sa lalaking umiinom ng beer habang nanunood ng pelikula. "Yeah. Why?"
"He's not answering my call." There was a hint of sadness in the Marquess' voice, making Dimitri frown.
"Well," Dimitri sighed. "He's not talking, but it seems like he's not in a good mood right now."
Natahimik ang nasa kabilang linya ng ilang segundo bago nagsalita. "Did, ahm, did he sleep in your place last night?"
"Yeah."
"You two share a bed?"
Dimitri was getting more confused by the Marquess' questions, but he still answered. "Yeah. Why?"
"Nothing. Ahm ... bye."
"...yeah, bye."
When the phone call ended, Dimitri was even more confused. "Hey, Cloud?"
"Mmm?"
"The Marquess just called."
Cloud tensed before relaxing, "yeah?"
"Yeah. He's looking for you. Maybe it's time for you to go home?" Dimitri suggested. "Looks like the Marquess' misses you." He joked.
Cloud snorted. "Yeah, right." Then he sighed. "Just let me stay here tonight. I'll go home tomorrow."
"Suit yourself." Sagot ni Dimitri saka bumalik sa pagkain ng hapunan. "I'm visiting a Triad HQ tonight. Coming?"
"I'll pass." Sagot ni Cloud. "My head's still spinning."
"Okay."
Dimitri stayed silent after that. He doesn't want to disturb Cloud who looks like he was thinking deeply over something. Iniwan niya ito sa condo niya ng mag-isa. He's hoping that tomorrow, Cloud will be back to normal.
When Dimitri left, Cloud was left all alone inside Dimitri's not so small but not so big condo either. It's enough for one person, two was a crowd already, but he doesn't wanna go home yet.
Cloud's mad at himself for acting like a teenager. He's nearing thirty for fuck's sake and he still couldn't control himself! Not only that, he couldn't control the pain tugging his heart last night. It's was suffocating, he needed to breathe.
Mula't sapul, alam niyang walang katugon ang nararamdaman niya. The Marquess made it clear since day one, so the blame was on him.
Cloud's thoughts were cut off when his phone rang again. It was place in the center table, and he could see the caller from where he was sitting.
Lord Jacques.
The Marquess had been calling since morning, but Cloud ignores them all. Wala naman siyang sasabihin. Hindi niya alam ang sasabihin. Cloud left to get away from Lord Jacques, but the latter keeps on calling.
Maybe I should answer ...
Ipinilig niya ang ulo. No, Cloud. Don't do it.
Inabot ni Cloud ang cellphone saka ini-off 'yon para walang makatawag sa kaniya, pagkatapos ay nilunod niya ang sarili sa alak hanggang sa malasing siya.
Cloud got drunk, slept and woke up in the couch. Nang tingnan niya ang relong pambisig, naghikab siya ng makitang alas-dos na nang madaling araw.
And just like yesterday night, Cloud's head was spinning. "Fuck..."
Cloud forcefully dragged himself to Dimitri's bed to sleep some more. And when he woke up, it was already past 8AM.
"Shit..." Cloud grunted before dragging himself to the bathroom to take a bath. After that, he looked for medicine to cure his raging hangover because he slammed his head on the nearest wall for pounding painfully.
After taking some Advil, Cloud opened Dimitri's closet to look for something to wear. He can't wear the same clothes because it stinks already.
Napailing nalang si Cloud ng mapansing pare-pareho ang damit ni Dimitri. Lahat kulay itim, at lahat faded ripped jeans. Dimitri's fashion was similar to Cloud's so it was easy to pick what to wear. And Cloud thank God when he saw new and unused set of boxers on Dimitri's closet.
After checking himself in the mirror, to see if he's presentable enough, he put his white shoes on and left Dimitri's condo.
Tinungo niya ang sasakyang nakagarahe sa parking lot ng condominium building at kaagad na sumakay doon. Matapos buhayin ang makina ng sasakyan, binuhay rin niya ang cellphone niya at nagpadala ng mensahe kay Dimitri.
To: Dimitri A.
Thanks. I'm going home now.
Dimitri instantly replied. 'Not for free. Cook for me tomorrow.'
Cloud chuckled and replied. 'Deal'.
Cloud, then, throws his phone to the passenger seat before manoeuvring his car towards the Bachelor's Village.
It took him thirty minutes to arrive at his destination. Bago siya lumabas ng sasakyan, tinawagan muna niya ang boss niya na ni minsan ay hindi siya ginulo sa dalawang gabi na hindi siya nagparamdam dito.
"My lord." Bati niya sa Conde. "I'm home."
"Good. Take a rest."
"Yes, my lord."
Nang nawala ang boss sa kabilang linya, lumabas na siya ng sasakyan at tinahak ang daan papasok sa kabahayan. Cloud was entering the living room when he saw Lord Jacques walking towards him, subconsciously Cloud's hand reached for his phone in his pocket to avoid the Marquess and he called Dimitri who, thankfully, answered.
"What?" Dimitri was grumpy.
Natawa siya. "I called to inform you that I borrow a shirt and a jeans in your closet. And of course, a boxer." Cloud respectfully bowed down his head at the Marquess to show some respect before he continued conversing with Dimitri. "And I left some food in your refrigerator. Just reheat it."
"Thanks. Anything else?" Bored na tanong ni Dimitri.
"I'm gonna refill the beer when I get back."
"Replace it with Rum instead."
Cloud laughed. "Fuck you. Not gonna happen, bastard. Anyways, I'm home. Call you later."
"Later."
Naiiling na pinatay ni Cloud ang tawag saka walang lingon-likod na dumeretso ito sa kuwarto nito, kaya hindi nito nakita ang matalim na pagtitig dito ng Marquess na nakakuyom ang kamao.
Seeing Cloud happy while talking to Dimitri was pissing Jacques off. While the bastard just bowed at him and didn't even spare him a second glance after. Jacques was so worried for the last two nights, and it's pissing him off because he doesn't even know why he was worried in the first place. He was so livid, he was shaking.
How dare that shameless prick made him worry like that and then act like nothing happened?! That asshole will have a piece of his mind today! He's done worrying and waiting for that motherfucker!
Akmang susundan niya si Cloud ng bigla nalang umikot ang paningin niya dahilan para mapahawak siya sa armrest ng pang-isahang sofa na malapit sa kaniya.
"Fuck..." Jacques breathe heavily. "What the fuck's wrong with me?"
Because Jacques couldn't feel pain, he doesn't know what's going on in his body — he doesn't know what's wrong with him. He doesn't feel anything, be it pain or discomfort — nothing. He feels nothing but why was his surrounding spinning?
Jacques didn't know how long he tried to balance himself until his surrounding stopped spinning.
Then he heard Cloud's voice. "Are you okay?"
Jacques glared at Cloud. "Fuck you." He wanted to scream at Cloud, but for some reason, he couldn't. "Fuck you..."
Cautiously, Cloud went to Jacques' side, "are you okay?" Ulit na tanong ni Cloud.
"Yes." Bumitaw si Jacques sa pagkakahawak sa sofa para balansehin ang sarili niya. "I'm fine. I don't need you—" suddenly, everything spun and he lost his balance and fell on Cloud's chest.
Instantly, Cloud wrapped his arms around Jacques, carefully supporting his frame.
"Sorry." Cloud immediately apologized, he doesn't want the Marquess' angry again. "I know you don't like it when I touch you, but, this is different, so don't be mad."
The Marquess didn't say anything, but his body was going limp in Cloud's embrace.
"You're not okay." Cloud whispered over Jacques ear, making Jacques shivers even though he's not feeling cold at all.
"Come here." Cloud helped the Marquess to sit on the sofa, his head resting on the back of the seat. "What's wrong with you?" Cloud asked the Marquess worriedly while softly caressing the Marquess' hair.
"D-don't know..." Jacques whispered. "Can't feel..."
Mahinang napamura si Cloud. Of course! How could he forget that the Marquess couldn't feel pain? That means he doesn't know what's going on in his body!
"Dadalhin kita sa Doctor." Sabi ni Cloud na kaagad na ikinailing ng Marquess.
"I—I'll be fine later." Jacques said in a weak voice. "I'm j-just hungry, I t-think."
"Hungry?" Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Cloud. "Kailan ka huling kumain?"
"T-two nights ago..."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Cloud. 'Yon yong gabi na umalis siya ng bahay! "Why the fuck—"
"I h-hate take outs. I haven't drink w-water as well. I f-forgot."
Cloud was angry at the Marquess for not taking good care of himself, but opt not to. Instead, he asked in a soft voice. "What do you want to eat? I'll cook it for you."
A smile shadowed on the Marquess lips. "Anything is fine..."
"Okay. Wait here." Cloud left and went to the kitchen to make an Electrolyte-rich Drink for the Marquess to help him feel a little better and replenish some of his energy.
"Here. Drink this." Aniya ng makabalik sa salas.
Jacques dutifully drank the drink Cloud made for him and then he went back to leaning on the back of the sofa.
"Rest." Bilin ni Cloud bago bumalik sa kusina para magluto.
Iyon na siguro ang pinakamabilis na pagluluto ni Cloud sa tanang buhay niya. It was also his first time being impatient. He's a calm person and he doesn't get worked up so easily. There's only one person who could make him worry so much like his, and that's his boss, the Count. But now, he's more worried about the Marquess' than anyone.
Maingat na inilagay ni Cloud ang pagkain sa silver tray saka dinala iyon sa salas. Thankfully, the Marquess looks a little better than before and can now move himself without feeling dizzy. The electrolyte-rich drink helped a lot.
"Kumain ka na, para maging maayos na ang pakiramdam mo." Aniya ng ilapag ang tray sa center table. "Sige na."
The Marquess nodded weakly before he started eating silently. Si Cloud naman ay nakaupo sa kaharap nitong sofa at mataman lang na nakatitig sa Marquess.
Looking closely at Lord Jacques, he has dark circle and bags under his eyes.
"Are you having trouble sleeping?" Tanong niya sa Marquess.
Sa halip na sagutin nito ang tanong niya, tiningnan siya nito ng masama. "Whose fucking fault do you think it is?"
Ah, he's cussing again. Looks like he's feeling better already.
"Pagkatapos mong kumain, matulog ka." Aniya.
Jacques just scowled and went back to eating after glaring at Cloud for nearly a minute.
Thinking of cleaning the house while Lord Jacques was eating, Cloud started to stand up, only to hear Lord Jacques' angry voice.
"Stand up and I'll throw this fucking fork at you."
Nabitin sa pagtayo si Cloud at gulat na napatitig sa Marquess. "H-huh?"
Kung nakakamatay lang ang tingin, kanina pa bumulagta si Cloud.
"Sit fucking still until I finish eating." Wika ni Jacques na iritado pa rin.
Slowly, Cloud sat back while eyeing the Marques in confusion and bewilderment. "I thought you don't like me..." he whispered.
Jacques' face darkened even more. "I just told you to fucking move on because I don't like seeing you in pain even though you're a shameless bastard. And last time I check, 'move on' doesn't have the same fucking meaning as I hate you, you moron!"
"Mmm..." Cloud hummed before smiling at the Marquess. "Don't worry, I'll move on so you won't feel uncomfortable around me anymore. That's why I left for a while, I needed to breathe so I can sort my feelings out."
For some reason, what Cloud said didn't sit right with Jacques, even though it was what he wanted. Was this because of Dimitri? Was he the reason why Cloud was able decide to move on from him this fast? Was the motherfucking Count right?
"Hey." It was Dimitri who just entered the Count's house.
Jacques scowled. Speaking of the devil.
"You're bored aren't you?" Natatawang tanong ni Cloud kay Dimitri ng makalapit ito sa salas.
Tumango kaagad si Dimitri saka hinaplos ang tiyan. "Bored and hungry. Cook for me?"
"Sure." Cloud was fast to answer making Jacques annoyed. "What do you want to eat? I'll cook it for you."
Jacques gritted his teeth, his jaw tightening. He was irritated and he was huffing in anger until he becomes livid. Jacques didn't know why, what he knew was that his anger has something to do with Cloud and Dimitri talking in front of him. And he becomes more livid seeing Cloud being happy with Dimitri.
And here I thought he likes me. What a fucking liar!
Jacques dropped the spoon and fork he was holding on the tray, the loud clang got Cloud and Dimitri's attention.
"Lord Jacques—"
"I just lose my appetite." Ani Jacques saka tumayo kahit nanghihina pa, pagkatapos ay binuhat ang tray.
Cloud immediately offered help. "Let me do that—"
"I can fucking manage." Jacques hissed at Cloud before sauntering towards the kitchen to wash his dishes. But before he could finish the task, Cloud and Dimitri entered the kitchen. So Jacques quickened his movement, so he could leave immediately."
"My Lord, let me do the dishes." Pakiusap ni Cloud sa kaniya.
Siguro kung nangyari ito noon, papayag kaagad siya. Because Jacques admits that he likes being taken care of by Cloud, but not today. He's pissed.
Tahimik na tinapos ni Jacques ang paghuhugas ng pinggan na hindi pinapansin si Cloud, saka tahimik din siyang umalis ng kusina at iniwan ang dalawa.
What was Jacques thinking believing Cloud's words anyways? Cloud was a womanizer. A philandering bastard. And now that Cloud likes men, what's stopping him from liking another man? Maybe I was just a passing fancy... someone to practice with since it's his first time liking a man.
If that was so, then that's good, right? This was what he wanted, so Cloud wouldn't be hurt anymore. Cloud's just giving him what he wants. Then why am I feeling mad and sad?
Jacques' steps halted while on his way to his room. Yes. Why I am mad anyway? Tanong niya sa sarili habang magkasalubong ang kilay. Bakit galit siya dahil masayang nakikipag-usap si Cloud kay Dimitri.
What's this feeling of anger and frustration combined? What's the name of this emotion he's feeling?
Napasabunot si Jacques sa sariling buhok at gusto niyang ihampas ang ulo sa pinakamalapit na pader. Maybe if he slammed his head really hard, he'll finally know why he's feeling like this.
With a grunt, Jacques continued stalking towards his room and he locked himself up inside 'till dinner. Lady SM was still recuperating from her bullet wound and Cloud was not bothering him anymore, while the Count was also busy, so no one notices how he was doing the whole day.
Jacques never felt this sad in his life. Not when his parents forbid him to go out unless its necessary, not when his parents used his insensitivity to pain to do their bidding, not when his mother told him to change and be the kind of son she wants, not when his mother told him he was useless every time an engagement fails, not when he saw pity on Kaius eyes, not when he was told that he's probably gonna die young because of his condition, not when he finds out that everyone in their house hates him, not when he finds out that people only gets close to him because of his money and title.
None of those things made him feel sad. Just now, and he doesn't even know why.
But he can't lash out on Cloud or Dimitri. They didn't do anything wrong. He has to play nice with them. He has to wipe out this anger and frustration inside him, but how? If Lady SM sees this, because she's a kind woman, she'll worry about him, and he doesn't want to be a bother.
How could he smile at Cloud and Dimitri when he's fucking feeling miserable because of them for some fucking reason he couldn't explain and put into words?
Just. Fucking. How?!
Jacques' phone beeped — startling him and cutting off his thoughts.
When he checked his phone, it was a text from Cloud.
From: Nube
Your dinner's in the refrigerator. Initin mo nalang kapag gusto mo nang kumain. Sorry I can't reheat it for you, I'll be busy tonight. I'm cleaning house with Dimitri. If you get sick again, please visit the Hospital and get your self check. Good night, Lord Jacques.
A wry smile stretched on Jacques' lips as he dropped his hand that was holding the phone on the bed. "So this is what it feels like to lose your attention, Nube."
Jacques closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.
It sucks.
******
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