The morning of the audition had come quickly.
It had been an intense three days of role studying. I managed to watch all the first season of the show and done extensive research of noble ladies of that period. Copying and creating a believable English accent had been the most gruelling of tasks. But I managed nonetheless. I was too scared to revert back to my own Scottish accent that I stayed in English accent when talking to my family and James. It drove them crazy. But needs must.
I also studied the character I was supposed to seduce- Charles Brandon. To be honest, he seemed like a womaniser, my character wasn't going to need to do much seducing at all. The actor that played him was handsome and young- Henry Cavill. I hadn't seen him in anything before. Nor did I recognise any other of the characters. It made me doubtful of the series apparent success.
I was packed and ready to go, ten minutes ahead of schedule. Rachel was picking me up at 7am for our 10.05am flight. It would get us into London for 11.10am and give us plenty time to get to the studio for role call at 1pm.
I was waiting patiently in the living room. My mother and sister had got up to see me off.
Louise was playing absently with my hair, an envious look in her eye. It wasn't necessary. She too had beautiful hair. It was long like mine but it curled wildly and it was the same chestnut brown colour as mums.
Rachel's black Mercedes finally pulled up and stopped in front of our drive.
"Now be careful! And give it your all!" My mum said, as she pulled me in for another hug and kiss.
"Good luck, sis," Louise says, as she joins our now three way hug. I give them all a tight squeeze and kiss them both on the lips.
"Do not fear for me my dears. I shan't fail you!" I say dramatically, not dropping the English accent. They both roll their eyes at me and laugh as I make my way hastily outside.
Rachel gets out the car and puts my case into the boot. As I get in the car, she runs up to my house and hugs my mum and sister on the doorstep. My family love Rachel. Especially my mum. Seeing them together this way, makes me think of simpler times when we used to have sleep overs when Louise was just six years old. Now she's nearly eighteen, and she's taller than me and Rachel!
How time flies...
The rest of the morning and the flight passed in an easy, fleeting manner. Then suddenly it was 1pm. It was audition time.
I was sitting in the well lit lobby of the studio, with a bunch of pretty young women. The oldest looked to be twenty seven. But she was still very pretty. I shifted uncomfortably for the the hundredth time which earned a firm swat on the arm from Rachel.
"Stop fidgeting!" She hissed quietly. I childishly stick my tongue out at her in response. She tutted at me but stuck her tongue fully out, beating me at my own game. I laughed and turned my attention back to the other girls in the room. My competition.
There was fifteen of us in total, but only one would get the part. And I had to make sure it was me.
One girl in particular stood out. She'd made eye contact a couple of times with me already, but when I caught her eye this time, she smiled. I smiled back willingly. There was something about her I liked. She had short dark hair, that contrasted with her pale skin. Her face was pixie like but very pretty, and she was petite in the extreme. She must have been even smaller than me.
Just then, the door to the studio opened, and out came a smartly dressed man. He looked to be in his late forties, his posture was excellent.
"Good afternoon ladies!" He addressed us all, looking at each of us briefly. "We're ready for you. Come on in."
There was a flurry of excited whispers as the girls got up to follow the man into the room.
Rachel got up with me, she wasn't considering waiting outside an option. I smiled, as she linked her arm with mine, and we entered the room together.
It was in that room, surrounded by nervous women and curious eyes, that I seen him for the first time.
He was sitting down, but as we filed into the room, he slowly stood up. He was much taller than the others that stood next to him.
I knew he was tall from what I'd seen from the TV, but he seemed much taller in the flesh. It always made me feel strange seeing someone I had watched only from the screen. My eyes tried to search for differences between the screen version and the real. But the only thing I could see, from here, that he was somehow more handsome. If that was even possible.
"Oh my god," Rachel gasped quietly. I was grateful for her outburst. It allowed me to finally tear my eyes from him. I blushed as I realised I had been staring at him.
"I didn't know Henry was going to be here too!" She whispered to me. "Look at him! Oh Lara, please get this role!"
I bite my lip to stifle a laugh and turn my attention back to the table at the end of the hall, trying to not look at him.
There were three others that stood at the table, smiling at us. A short woman with dark hair which was put up in an elegant bun. Next to her was a tall graceful looking woman. And then man who had welcomed us into the room, stood next to him.
My eyes betrayed me and looked at him again. He was smiling at us all, nodding politely. He turned to the man next to him, whispered something, causing the man to erupt into laughter. He laughed too, showing two rows of white, sharp teeth. They were a little uneven but it was a nice smile. He turned that smile upon us then, and I heard the girls around me giggle nervously. He looked around us all slowly, and then his eyes settled on me. They lingered there a moment, his expression changing slightly, as if he'd seen something confusing. I looked away quickly, fighting a frown. I felt very much like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have.
When I looked back, he had resumed his previous polite expression. But I noticed that his eyes flickered back to mine, and then quickly away, just like I did.
"Ladies, thank you all for coming this afternoon..." I turned my attention fully to the speaker- he introduced himself as Frank. I was grateful for the distraction. I listened intently, with more focus than necessary, as he explained the events of the day. In my peripheral, I could see him shift from foot to foot, run a hand through his hair. It was a massive effort to not look at him. What was going on? I gritted my teeth and tried to block his presence out.
"Right then. Let's all get in a big circle around the room," Frank said, clapping his hands together, and we all moved into position obediently.
We had to introduce ourselves and share a fun fact. Henry was the only one from the table that joined our circle. He spoke first.
"Hello, I'm Henry," he sounded almost the same as he did on the show. Very well spoken, and all charm. "And I can speak four languages."
There were some admiring gasps from the women, and even I had to admit, it was impressive. One girl, more confident than the rest, spoke out. "What languages?"
He smiled and looked at her as he spoke.
"Well, English- of course. Also Spanish, French and Italian."
Show off. I had to stop myself rolling my eyes.
The introductions went around quickly. I wracked my brains trying to think of something diplomatic and funny. But I was out of time. All eyes were on me. I took a deep breath and smiled warmly around the circle. I looked at him and immediately regretted it. He was looking at me, and whatever I was about to say, got lost in his impossibly blue eyes.
There was an awkward pause and he cocked his eyebrows at me, but he smiled. I shook myself firmly and turned my attention back to the room. "Hi! I'm Lara," I introduced myself in my English accent. "And... I'm shitting myself." As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to suck them back in. There were a few scattered laughs and I heard his low chuckle, but I didn't look at him again. What an idiot.
I'm shitting myself? Really Lara! Could I have sounded any less professional?
Thankfully, introductions came to an end without further excitement. We were instructed to find a pair and work on a few lines, which were then to be presented to the board for judgment. As I looked around the room for a partner, the small, pixie girl from earlier was already making her way towards me. Her name was Erica. She had said something cute and funny. "Hey! You wanna partner?" She asked excitedly, as she stopped in front of me. She had big brown eyes, that looked almost black.
"Sure, thanks!" I say back.
"I liked your introduction," she looks at me mischievously. I groan loudly and blush.
"I was an idiot."
"No. You just said what we were all thinking!" She laughed. She was nice. We got along rather well. We learned our lines quickly, and spent the rest of the time chatting. I learned that she lived here in London alone. She left her parents home when she was eighteen to pursue her acting career. Now she's twenty and she's still not landed the role she wants. That, I can definitely empathise with.
One by one, the girls all took their turns acting their lines with Henry. I watched several exchanges silently. They all mostly passed identically. But I wasn't watching the girls performances. I know I should be. But instead, I was carefully watching Henry. Trying to figure out why I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off him. Sure, he was handsome. Tall, muscular, dark haired and a face that would have made a Greek god envious. But James also had all these attributes. My boyfriend was definitely more attractive.
In between girls swapping, his eyes would meet mine briefly. It was just the quickest of glances but it stirred something inside me. It suddenly occurred to me, that the reason I was staring was because I wanted him to look at me. And a part of me wanted to know if he felt it too. I enjoyed the hot flash that shot through my body when his eyes met mine.
Get a grip of yourself!
I love my boyfriend.
"Lara Williams?"
The directors voice snapping me out of my thoughts. I released my bottom lip that I'd almost chewed off in nervous agitation. I smiled at the director and made my legs move to the centre of the room. I was terrified to look at him, but I had to. He was waiting patiently for me, arms crossed in front of his broad chest. He was smiling at me.
Oh god. I can't do this.
As I approach, he extends a hand towards me.
I take a deep steadying breath, and reach out with my own sweaty hand, and shake his. My hand is completely engulfed by his much larger one. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. His hand is soft and warm. I drop my hand as quickly as possible.
"Hi Lara," he says politely. Up close, he's even more glorious. His complexion is clear and pale, the faintest shadow of stubble runs across his strong jaw and down his throat. He's wearing loose black jeans, and a T-shirt that is supposed to be loose, but the material strains slightly across his chest and shoulders. His arms are hard, muscular and thickly covered with dark hair.
"Hi." Much to my relief, I sound confident and I haven't dropped my English accent.
"Lets give them a good show," he leans into me slightly as he speaks, and I get a whiff of his aftershave. He smells wonderful. The closeness of him freezes me in the spot, and he has to be the one who takes a few steps back. I give myself a firm shake and my senses soon return to me.
Right. Let's do this. Deep breaths Lara.
I suck deep breaths in and out and close my eyes. He's just a man. A very handsome man. But just a man. Don't let him distract you.
I take a final breath and let my character take over. She hasn't been scripted a name yet but I when I portray her, I think of her as Florence.
I open my eyes, and let Florence take over.
"My Lord Suffolk. It is a pleasure to finally meet you," Florence curtsies deeply in front of him.
"My lady. The pleasure is mine." He takes my hand and kisses it lightly, just brushing the knuckles, his eyes never leaving mine. My fingers blaze at his touch. I swallow nervously, as I return to standing position. I can feel my face begin to heat, he's still holding my hand. Control yourself!
I slip my hand from his, and look at the ground demurely.
"You honour me, your grace."
He takes a step closer to me. I look up in alarm, this isn't in the script. He gently places a finger under my chin and tilts my face upwards, which forces me to look up helplessly into his eyes.
"You are very beautiful." His warm breath fans my face. It's getting hard to breathe.
"I... Thank you, your grace," I stammer, my heart pounding loudly in my ears.
"How long do I have the pleasure of your company?" He asks, his eyes boring down into mine, making my insides feel like jelly.
"Three days," I gasp. I'm really struggling for composure. Why haven't they called a stop!?
"I guess... I'll just have to make the most of our time together then." He finally releases me, and bows deeply. I stare at him opened mouthed, then I remember myself.
"My Lord," I give a small curtsy, blushing like an idiot.
Then suddenly I hear loud slow clapping. My head snaps towards the sound. Each member of the judging panel is standing, clapping and smiling. What on earth for? I was terrible.
I sheepishly look around the room, every pair of eyes were looking at me with dismay and envy.
"The chemistry between you two is electric!" The male director said delightedly. "That's the best acting we've seen so far!"
Wow... I should probably tell them I wasn't acting. But hell, I'm going to go with it. I smile politely and thank him.
"You were very convincing," Henry said, his deep voice startling me. There was a mischievous look in his eye. Did he know?
"So were you," I say, meeting his stare boldly.
It looked as if he wanted to say more, but I quickly turned, and strode away from him. Not bothering to turn back. With every step I take, I start to feel more and more like myself. Calm and in control.
I stand next to Erica who congratulates me heartily. "I feel sorry for the girl that needs to go next. You're tough competition!"
I laugh and shake my head. If only she knew what really happened.
The rest of the auditions passed almost dully, and I was secretly glad. Standing far away from him, I didn't feel affected by him at all. Maybe I was just nervous? Starstruck perhaps?
Who knows!
But I can't lose control like that again.
I won't.