[372A High Street:]
Joyeuse: Okay. It's been an hour.
Edward: Huh?
Joyeuse: You have annoyed me enough and I have to ask: what are you doing with those scissors? You've been walking around with a pair of scissors for an hour and now I have to ask.
Edward: It's been a month and my hair's like in the movie "Harry Potter and the Year Nobody Got a Haircut".
Joyeuse: Goblet of Fire?
Edward: Goblet of Fire.
Joyeuse: Well your hair won't magically get cut if you simply walked around.
Edward: I was thinking if I should ask Futhark to do it.
Joyeuse: You've seen his hair.
Edward: Exactly why I haven't asked him yet.
Joyeuse: Why not ask Arthur?
Edward: Nahihiya ako.
Joyeuse: Ask Lance to ask Arthur.
Edward: Why not Sir Lance?
Joyeuse: When I was 10 years old and had to stay with him for a month, he got annoyed with my hair and gave me a bowl cut.
Joyeuse: He literally put a bowl on my head and traced along the bowl's rim.
Edward: We can't let Sir Lance do our haircuts.
Joyeuse: I'm patiently waiting for everything to be over to get a haircut. I don't trust any of you to give me a haircut.
Edward: Nakita ko na si Sir Arthur ang taga-gupit ni Sir Lance ng mga piraso nung ginagawang laruan ni sir. Maganda naman ang kinalabasan.
Joyeuse: Yes but I don't trust him having self-control. I'm sure he has pent-up anger against me and he'll shave my head without even breaking a sweat.
Edward: Dude ang init ng buhok ko. Gusto ko nang magpagupit.
Laevateinn: (arrives with his hair tied up by a blue scrunchie)
Edward: Lae—
Edward: I have so many questions I don't even know where to start.
Joyeuse: Start with "What the fuck?"
Laevateinn: I have other colours. (shows scrunchies on his wrist) This was supposed to be Lance's gift for Maria but Maria didn't like it. Now I'm using them.
Futhark: (arrives) Nand'yan pala kayo, anong pinagkakaabalahan n'yo?
Laevateinn: Futhark would you like the green scrunchie?
Futhark: Oh, sakto, ang haba na nga ng buhok ko.
Laevateinn: Edward, would you like the red scrunchie because you always wear red?
Edward: No, please no.
Laevateinn: Drama queen, would you like this scrunchie with a purple crown because you're a little bitch?
Joyeuse:
Joyeuse: I won't comment because everything I say will end up with me getting stabbed.
Futhark: Bakit may hawak kang gunting, Ed?
Edward: Balak kong magpagupit sa 'yo, pero bago ang lahat—is your hair choppy by choice?
Futhark: Oh, yes. I prefer the left side longer. Bakit?
Edward: So it wasn't a haircut disaster?
Futhark: No, sanay na akong maggupit sa sarili ko para makatipid.
Edward: Sanay raw maggupit, Jo. Ano?
Joyeuse: (squints his eyes suspiciously at Futhark) I don't trust him not having pent-up anger towards me, thus shaving my head whilst I put my whole trust on his hands.
Futhark: If I had pent-up anger against you, I should've spat on your food a long time ago.
Joyeuse: But you didn't, right?
Futhark: Who knows?
Joyeuse: FUTHARK.
Lance: (arrives) What are you boys doing?
Edward: Reflecting how pretty much everyone hates Joyeuse.
Laevateinn: Do you want the yellow scrunchie, Lance? I have seven scrunchies.
Edward: Sir Lance when do you plan on shaving your beard?
Lance: What's wrong with my beard?
Edward: Nothing, but every time I see you, feeling ko po maglalabas kayo ng espada para kalabanin ang Gryphon na pumepeste sa Camelot.
Lance: Like Sir Lancelot from BBC Merlin?
Joyeuse: Or Jesus Christ, there's actually a fine line.
Joyeuse: The line is that Christ would never say "Fuck you and everything you believe in" to a stranger on the internet.
Lance: HE WAS A FLAT-EARTHER AND A CLIMATE CHANGE DENIER!
Joyeuse: Still.
Arthur: (arrives) Nobody was causing a racket and the house was pretty quiet so I got suspicious and went downstairs here.
Lance: Arthur, what do you think of my beard?
Arthur: Horrendous, why?
Lance:
Lance: You didn't even pause to think.
Arthur: I didn't have to, it was pretty obvious.
Lance: Why didn't you say anything?
Arthur: You didn't ask.
Lance: Do you even love me?
Arthur:
Arthur: Hm.
Lance: WHY DID YOU PAUSE?
Arthur: Hmm.
Lance: Why are you still not answering?
Futhark: Maganda naman po 'yung balbas n'yo, Sir. Bagay po sa buhok n'yo.
Lance: >.>
Joyeuse: Don't believe him, Lance, I heard him tell the cafeteria lady she looks like Scarlet Johansson even though she's Snoop Dogg at best.
Lance: Siegfried, my dear brother, what do you think of my beard?
Laevateinn:
Laevateinn: Do you like the indigo or the orange scrunchie?
Lance: What do you think of my beard?
Laevateinn: I got scared the first day I saw it, I avoided you until I pretended you're Santa Claus's third cousin.
Lance: So that's why you didn't talk to me for a week!
Arthur: Why do you have a pair of scissors, Edward?
Edward: (throws scissors behind him) Poor life decisions, sir.