Amaya nervously paced back and forth in her and Muzan's bedroom as she tried to figure out what to do with the situation she had been faced with. She had asked Muzan if he could spend time with their daughter while she wrote a letter to her brother, which of course he agreed to. She was sure he wouldn't discover Hisana's immunity to sunlight in the short time that she'd be writing a letter. She had debated visiting her brother at the Ubuyashiki estate with Hisana, but felt Muzan would become suspicious if she left abruptly to go visit him without saying a word.
She decided to write a letter instead to avoid confrontation with her husband over leaving to visit Kagaya. She had been pacing back and forth for roughly a half hour though and still had no idea what exactly to say to her brother; she couldn't come up with the right words to use to describe what happened.
Tired of pacing back and forth, she sat down at the end of her and Muzan's bed, burying her head in her hands. Tears started to fall through her fingers and onto her amethyst colored kimono.
What am I going to do? The one thing I worried about my entire pregnancy has come true. I should have suspected this considering she's half human, but still, why couldn't she be like Muzan and not be able to withstand the sun?
The thought of Muzan devouring their daughter to gain her immunity to sunlight or use her as an experiment engulfed her mind and caused her to think irrationally. She wanted to tell Muzan so badly about their daughter being able to withstand the sun, but she was too afraid to. He could be very unpredictable at times and just thinking back at the first time she saw how he treated his underlings made her think of the worst possible scenario. But he's been such a good father and so loving and caring, so maybe if he did find out he would be alright and not try to harm her. She sobbed harder. I don't know what to do anymore.
In the living area, Muzan was holding Hisana in his arms as she slept. She looked so peaceful and he wondered if all babies slept as peacefully as she did. He took note of how her features would twitch every so often as if she was dreaming.
He never could have imagined being a father up until now. Well, he hadn't even imagined himself truly falling in love with someone, especially a lowly human, up until he met Amaya. He thought falling in love would be a hindrance to his goals of finding the blue spider lily and becoming a being that was not only close to perfection, but was.
Muzan especially thought he would never have his own child. He didn't even think as a demon it was possible for him to. He never really took much thought to getting married and having children back when he was still human due to his illness. He could barely get up on his own without help from his servants, let alone if he had tried to court a woman.
Yet here he was 1000 years later, in love, married, and with his own child. He looked down at his daughter who was still sound asleep, rubbing her velvety coal colored hair. You are close to perfection as am I. He smiled looking down at her, you will stand by my side one day and help me eradicate Ubuyashiki's demon slayers and anyone else that stands in my way of becoming the perfect being. If only you're able to conquer the sun....
"Muzan?"
The demon lord looked up from his daughter to see his wife peeking her head around the corner of their living area, as if she had been standing there for a while watching him with Hisana. "Amaya what is it? What are you doing? I thought you were writing a letter?" He whispered in a flat tone as she stepped into the living room. She was wearing a white kimono with a light pink haori with cherry blossom flowers on it that he had gotten for her in Asakusa the second time they went out together.
Her chocolate colored hair was tied into a loose braid off to her right side and small, loose hairs framed the sides of her face. A concerned look crossed her face as her eyes were the glimmering color of an emerald, sparkling in the light of the lamp that stood next to the futon Muzan was sitting on with Hisana.
"I was," she said, although she hadn't even started the letter yet, "but I wanted to see how you and Hisana were doing." Her eyes went from staring into Muzan's glowing crimson irises to their daughter, who was sleeping soundly in his arms and a smile spread across her face.
Muzan couldn't help, but smile back at his wife, "We're doing good. Hisana fell asleep a little while before you came out here."
"I'm just glad that she's getting to spend time with her daddy," she said in a pleased tone as she nervously fidgeted her fingers in front of her and tilted her gaze slightly away from her husband's, "Do you have to go out tonight again Muzan?"
The demon lord raised his left brow slightly as his gaze stayed fixed on the side of his wife's face while she continued to divert her eyes away from his. "I'm not sure yet, why? What's wrong Amaya?"
Amaya wasn't sure why she was so nervous to ask Muzan her next question. Maybe it was because they hadn't spent time alone together for so long? She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and looked up into her husband's plum red irises that sparkled like rubies in the lamp light. "Do you think we could go on a walk together through the garden after we put Hisana to bed? We haven't spent time alone together since she was born and I-" she stuttered over her words, "I miss spending time with you."
Muzan lowered his raised brow and his gaze softened after hearing what his wife had been wanting to ask him. He moved his left arm carefully out from underneath Hisana, running his fingers through his wavy raven colored hair and chuckled softly before turning to look at his wife, who stood nervously awaiting his answer. "Amaya, why would you think you'd need to ask me to spend time with you? Of course I will."
The nervousness that was plastered on Amaya's face faded away as a tender smile replaced it. "You have no idea how happy that makes me Muzan." She knew in her heart why she had been so worried to ask to spend time alone with her husband, but she didn't divulge that information to him.
"I'm going to go back to our room to finish writing my letter to Kagaya, so you can spend more time with Hisana."
"Master Muzan, Lady Hisana would you like me to start preparing dinner? Oh, I'm terribly sorry if I interrupted the two of you," Niko came out of the hallway adjacent to where Amaya was standing and humbly bowed in her and Muzan's presence.
"Niko, your most common habit is interrupting and showing up where you're not welcome," Muzan spat. The timid maid could feel Muzan's intimidating gaze fixed on her as she continued to bow in respect to her master.
"Muzan!" Amaya called out in shock to her husband, although she wasn't actually in shock over what he said. He was very cold-hearted to anyone except for her and their daughter. "Niko I'm sorry please ignore his rudeness," Amaya bowed her head slightly down to the maid, "it would be lovely if you could prepare dinner."
Muzan scoffed.
"As you wish my lady," Niko lifted her head up and scurried off, quickly opening and closing two shoji doors at the end of the hallway.
Amaya turned her head to glare at Muzan, her emerald eyes met his alluring plum red irises, "You're always so rude to that poor woman Muzan!"
Muzan laughed scornfully, "That old maid always shows up at times when her presence is not welcome. She needs to know her place; she should not show her face unless she is asked to."
Amaya sighed defeatedly, she knew there was no arguing with Muzan, especially when it came to how he treated Niko. He had servants throughout the 1000 years he had been alive, beginning back when he was still human. He wasn't going to change how he treated them and she knew that.
"I'm going to go back into our bedroom and am going to try to finish writing my letter to Kagaya. You can spend more time with Hisana. Can you just let me know when dinner is ready?" A smile flashed across her face at her husband.
" Of course my love."
Amaya glanced down at Hisana in Muzan's arms. She really didn't understand how she was able to sleep through almost anything that happened, but she always did. It was like she'd only wake up if she actually wanted to wake up. She turned away from Muzan and Hisana and walked down the hallway back to their bedroom, sliding open the two shoji doors decorated with elaborate flowers and then sliding them shut behind her.
With a heavy sigh, she threw herself down onto her and Muzan's bed. She stared at the Ranma panel decorated with ornate trees above the two shoji doors that led into their bedroom, while lost in thought. She still had no idea what exactly to tell Kagaya in her letter, but she needed to compose herself and try to begin it. She reluctantly got up from the bed and trudged herself over to Muzan's desk that she had been using and sat down.
She turned her gaze to the right side of his desk, looking at his notebook that had been left open. He had notes written down in it of various experiments he had conducted with certain herbs and ingredients with their results. Amaya wondered just how many experiments Muzan had done and if he were to find out about their daughter's immunity to sunlight, would she just become another one of his experiments.
She decided to shake that thought out of her mind as quickly as it got there, so she wouldn't start sobbing again. I'm not worrying about that right now, I am going to talk to him tonight. I'm going to gather up all of my strength and tell him Hisana is immune to the sunlight. I have to trust him; I have to trust that he won't do anything to hurt her. She removed the fountain pen from the crease of Muzan's journal and closed it, moving it off to the side to give her more space to compose her letter. She dipped the tip of the pen in ink and brought it onto a piece of paper, finally beginning to compose the start of her letter.
Dear Brother,
The unthinkable has happened and I believe I'm going to need to get Hisana away from Muzan. I'm going to try and talk to Muzan first, but if I'm not able to tell him for fear of what he will do, I'm going to take Hisana to the Taira family to raise her as their own. They won't know I'm coming, but my hope is that they will still agree to to take her,
Amaya set the pen down and crumpled the paper up pushing it to the other side of the desk. She didn't like how she began the letter and needed to sound more urgent to her brother. She set her head on the desk and sighed deeply.
Out in the living area, Muzan was still seated on the futon holding Hisana in his arms. A yawn crossed her face as she started to stir awake; her eyes began to open as she met her father's bright scarlet irises with her own. A bright smile crossed her face as her eyes continued to stay fixated on Muzan. She reached her fragile little hand out to him, wanting his touch.
The demon lord smiled and brought his hand down to his daughter, rubbing her velvety raven colored hair. Her glowing plum red orbs continue to stare up into her father's as he stops stroking her hair and pulls her up against his chest. He had never felt the love he felt for his daughter before. He had never felt more at peace.
***
Muzan and Amaya sat down together on the red colored bench situated under the oldest and most beautiful cherry tree blossom tree in their garden. He kept his promise of taking her through the garden after dinner and putting Hisana to sleep. She looked over at Muzan, seeing how for the first time in a long time he wasn't as dressed up. He only wore a simple black dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top and tucked into white slacks. She liked seeing him slightly dressed down and more relaxed.
Amaya watched as the gentle breeze carried cherry blossom petals through the wind past her and Muzan as they sat together. The moon cast a warm, milky glow in the sky above them, its radiance illuminated the stream that ran under the cherry blossom tree they sat next to.
Amaya reached her hand up to grab one of the flowers on the branch that was right above her head. She admired the intricate beauty of the small flower and the way the light pink outer rim blended into a magenta color in the center. Cherry blossoms had always been her favorite since she was a child. They were part of the one memory she had of her actual family.
She remembered watching the cherry blossom trees bloom in the spring with a woman she assumed to be her mother in the memory. Her mother tucked one of the flowers behind her ear, telling her that the blossoms represent the fragility and the beauty of life. They are a reminder that life is a beautiful thing, but it is also tragically short and we should enjoy every second of it that we can.
This was the only memory she had of her family before the Ubuyashiki took her in and raised her as one of their own. She didn't understand how she remembered this one moment, but not her family being slaughtered. She had always wished that she could remember what really happened, who the demon that had killed her family was, so that she could tell Muzan and he could end them.
"You've always loved cherry blossoms Amaya," Muzan said as he put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him as they sat together. He looked over at the cherry blossom patterned haori she was wearing, happy that she still wore it. "You still wear the haori I got you on our second night out together."
"Of course I do, you got it for me and it's beautiful." She smiles gently. "And that's because they are part of the one memory that I still have of my family before they were murdered. They are also exceptionally beautiful. Do you know their actual meaning?" She asked him as she laid her head on his chest, snuggling into him under the crisp moonlight.
"What do they mean?" He queried as he rested his head on top of hers.
"In the one memory I have of my family, I'm watching them bloom with a woman who I presume is my mother. She is telling me that they represent how beautiful and yet fragile life is. She says they serve as a reminder that although life is beautiful, none of us live forever and life is always cut short." She continued to watch the flowers blow through the breeze past them as she waited for Muzan's response.
"Humans don't live forever. I think what your mother meant is that human life is a fragile thing, which indeed it is. They live their lives gradually aging day by day and getting closer to death. There's no beauty in that."
Amaya lifted her head off of Muzan's chest to stare at his face. The moonlight cast a glow across his features, illuminating his pale skin and causing his crimson irises to glow a luminescent shade of red in contrast to the darkness surrounding the two of them. She wasn't necessarily surprised by his comment, but she was slightly taken aback by it.
"Muzan," she started, "human life is beautiful because it is fragile. People live their lives to the fullest everyday because they know they will not live forever. There's the possibility they won't even live to see the next day."
He scoffed, slightly rolling his eyes before directing his gaze at Amaya. "If you would let me turn you into a demon we wouldn't even need to have this conversation about human life."
Amaya was well aware of how much Muzan thought of humans as a nuisance, but it still irked her how he would always change his tone of voice to one of pure disrespect when referring to them considering she was still a human. She had no desire to become a demon unless it was absolutely necessary to save her life, despite how much she loved him and wanted to share her life beside him. She valued the fragility of her human life and she had told Muzan this numerous times in the past.
"Muzan, you know I will not become a demon unless absolutely necessary and if I am placed in a life or death situation. I love you and our daughter with all of my being, but this is what I want and I wish for you to accept that."
He turned his gaze away from her and looked up at the full moon centered in the sky, "Even if our daughter ceases to grow old one day? You do realize that that is likely to happen don't you? Considering I am her father and she is half demon it only makes sense for her to reach a certain age and stop growing older. You'll let our daughter watch you grow old and die while she continues to live on forever with me?"
Amaya thought about his question for a minute. She knew he was right and she hadn't thought about that circumstance. However, it didn't change her opinion. She wanted to stay human unless she was in a situation that required her to become a demon in order for her to survive, besides just getting old and dying. She was terrified of the thought of becoming a demon and losing her humanity. Her emotions, her love for different things. Although she was in love with the progenitor of demons, she didn't want to imagine herself as one.
"I want to stay a human unless I am placed in a situation where death is imminent. That situation does not include simply growing old and dying of old age. I want to keep my humanity. Though there are some demons who do have pieces of their humanity left, there are also those that don't. I'm worried I will be one of the ones who lose their humanity."
Muzan took his arms out from around her waist, crossing both of his arms in front of his chest. He was exceptionally annoyed by her comment and wished she would just allow him to turn her into a demon, so she could stay by his side for eternity along with their daughter. "You're being selfish. Humanity is for the weak." He said flatly, masking all signs of the previous emotion he was showing towards her with his previous comment.
Amaya's eyes widened at his comment, selfish? Is that really how I'm being? For wanting to keep my humanity? Wanting to keep my humanity is weak too? What has gotten into him? The love he shares for me and our daughter is an indicator of the humanity he has left, so he's also weak then.
She didn't say that though, for fear of causing the conversation to make a worse turn, especially when she hadn't brought up the primary thing she wanted to talk to him about yet. In an attempt to get him to turn towards her, she reached her hand up to his cheek, pushing back his coal colored hair slightly with her fingers and caressing his cheek with her gentle touch.
He slowly turned his head to face her, his luminescent scarlet irises penetrating her very being. His gaze softened slightly to her touch as he uncrossed his arms and reached his hand up to his wife's face, tucking a strand of her chocolate colored hair behind her ear. "Your beauty never ceases to amaze me Amaya."
Amaya blushed, slightly pulling her eyes away from his glowing irises and slightly forgetting his comment about her being selfish.
Muzan reached his arms around her waist and pulled her into him before she had a chance to react. Her bright emerald eyes were only centimeters away from his plum red orbs as he reached his hand behind her neck pulling her into a deep kiss. Muzan hadn't kissed her this passionately in a long time. It was soft and moist and hot and breathy, not trying to win a battle, but seeking union and closeness and the sharing of one breath, one sensation, one timeless and passionate moment.
The heat rose in Amaya's cheeks as she struggled for air from the incredibly sensual kiss Muzan had enveloped her with. He brought his lips away from a hers for a solid second before saying, "we should go back inside and finish this."
He planted his icy lips back on hers before she slightly pushed back on him a little causing him to cease the passionate moment he was trying to share with her.
"What is it Amaya?" He questioned her bluntly, slightly widening his eyes at her pushing him away.
She tore her gaze away from her, fidgeting with the sleeve of her cherry blossom patterned haori. I need to ask him now before I lose my chance to. The passionate moment we just shared was absolutely amazing after not having many passionate moments since Hisana was born, but this can't wait any longer. Amaya decided to ease into the conversation slower before outright asking him what she wanted to.
"Muzan why," Amaya started nervously, terrified of what was to come of the next conversation after sharing a passionate moment, "Why do you care so much about conquering the sun? Why can't you just enjoy your life with me and your daughter and forget about this nonsense of perfection?"
Muzan's gaze stiffened, he took his arms out from around her waist and pulled himself back away from her. His vivid crimson irises remained fixated on her as an expression crossed his face that she couldn't read. "Why would you ask me something like that after the moment we just shared together?"
"This is the conversation I wanted to have tonight to begin with, I just didn't know how to start it. I did enjoy the moment we shared though. We haven't shared a kiss that passionate since before Hisana was born. " She truthfully replied.
His face was completely void of emotion as his gaze continued to pierce through her. "Well your irritating question ruined it. And there's a very simple answer Amaya and I'm sure you already know what it is. I strive to be the epitome of perfection and a truly immortal being. The sun is the one thing that prevents me from that goal, since it is the one thing that can kill me."
Amaya grabbed onto his hand. "But Muzan, everything in this world dies. There is nothing anyone can do to prevent death, it's inevitable for every living thing."
He tore his hand away from her grasp, still staring deeply into her emerald eyes. His expression remained one that she was unable to interpret. "Oh my dear Amaya, you're incredibly naive. Not everything in this world dies."
She shook her head, "I didn't say everything, I said every living thing."
Completely ignoring her most recent comment Muzan started on his own rant. "Death was constantly accompanying me since the time I was still in my mother's womb. When I was diagnosed with an incurable illness, I wanted nothing more than to survive another day, to have a strong body, and to not have to rely on others to help me with everyday tasks I should be able to do myself. When that doctor came to me with medicine to possibly cure my illness, I of course took it without a second thought. However, after learning it was a prototype and although I was nearly invincible, the sun was my worst weakness. I was infuriated. I lived with death breathing on my neck my whole life and yet finally when I became strong, death was still there waiting for me."
"So you are actually afraid of death then?"
Muzan took his gaze away from Amaya, standing up from the bench they had been seated on and clenched his fists together. "No Amaya, I'm not afraid of death. The fact is, a being such as myself should not have to face death. I perceive myself as a natural disaster or a calamity. Something like a tornado, earthquake, volcanic eruption. Calamities exist forever, they constantly kill thousands of people and nobody tries to stop them because they can't. If I conquer the sun I will become true perfection. Nothing will ever be able to stop me. Especially not those nuisances, the demon slayers."
Amaya shook her head in disbelief, not being able to comprehend what this man, this demon she loved with all her heart was trying to say. "So this is the kind of ideology you want our daughter to grow up hearing? That she needs to be considered a "calamity" like her father and can kill thousands of people without batting an eyelash? That she should strive to be perfect because nothing else matters?"
She wasn't sure that anything mattered to him besides being a truly immortal being and was immensely frightened to tell him about their daughter conquering the sun. She wasn't sure that her or their daughter did really matter to him. Even after being the amazing father that he had been.
"Our daughter is ever so close to being perfect as am I, as soon as I find out how to conquer the sun I will make sure our daughter can too. And she will be an epitome of perfection along with me. However, nothing and I mean nothing will stand in my way of conquering the sun after 1000 years."
"Do you even love me or Hisana?"
Muzan turned around, unclenching his fists and kneeling down in front of Amaya. He sets his hands on her shoulders and she watched as his glare softened and began to show a hint of emotion again. "Well of course I do Amaya. I love you both more than anything and after I become a truly immortal being, you will both rule this pathetic world of humans alongside me. Maybe by then you will change your mind and let me turn you into a demon."
Amaya shook off his hands, turning away from his gaze as tears stung her eyes. I can't believe what he is trying to say to me. I wanted him to come out to the garden with me to tell him of Hisana conquering the sun after seeing how amazing of a father he was being, but now I realize that he can't ever know.
Amaya was terrified to mention their daughter was immune to sunlight. After hearing Muzan's ramblings, she was truly terrified of what he might do to their daughter, despite saying how much he loved both of them. With how focused he is on becoming the perfect being, he could easily turn on both her and their daughter and even kill her for her ability.
"You are not a calamity Muzan," she finally said as tears began to flow down her cheeks and drip onto her violet kimono, "You were a man who was turned into a demon by accident by a generous doctor who only wished to help prolong your life. If he had seen that this is what would become of you, he never would have given you the medicine and you would be dead."
At that moment, something snapped inside of Muzan after hearing his wife's stabbing words. She had never talked to him so harshly and in a burst of anger he raised his hand to his wife, hitting her hard enough to send her falling off the bench.
Amaya was completely in shock, every inch of her body was numb with fear as she brought her hand up to her right cheek where Muzan had hit her. It ached as she touched it. As she hovered her hand above her cheek, she slowly turned her head around to see Muzan standing over her. Clusters of veins were popping out from his temples, cheeks, and neck as a look crossed his face that Amaya had never seen directed towards her before.
His scarlet irises glowed with malice and aggression. It was the same look of pure hatred that she watched him give his underlings. Tears welled up into Amaya's eyes as she tried to prevent herself from crying hysterically. It was the first time she saw him like this towards her and it frightened her to her core. Her husband, the love of her life, was a monster.
Unedited.
Another long chapter haha...There was a lot I needed to add.
The conversation between Muzan and Amaya at the end is very important to the story and it took me forever to figure out how I wanted it to go😅
Amaya's backstory and her family's death will be revealed later on.
Oh boyyy the anguish! Hope you enjoy!🙂