(Harry's POV)
Jordyn and I have reached my bed room. The lights in here are dim. Setting the mood beautifully.
I'm nervous. Really nervous. My palms are clammy and I'm getting more awkward by the second.
Don't fuck this up Harry.
It's her first time. I want it to be everything she's dreamed of it being, more even. That responsibility comes with a lot of pressure, as you could imagine.
She's still shyly covered with the blanket when we inter my room. She let me lead the way in. I turn to face her. She's shutting the door gently, her hand lingering on the handle once it's closed.
"Thinking about making a run for it." I tease in effort to lighten the heavy mood around us.
There's that giggle of hers. Soft but audible.
She turns to face me with a smile. "No, I think your stuck with me." She smiles then sighs, leaning her head back on the door.
Fuck sake, that's sexy as hell.
"I'm just nervous." She admits as the heat visibly makes a return on her cheeks.
"Same here, love. We just have to take it one step at a time. We'll be alright, I promise."
She nods, looking up at me. My lonely hands find her face to hold. A smile curling on the corner of my lips as I feel her warm face.
"I guess the first step will be to loose the blanket." She laughs under her breath.
"That might make things a bit easier." I joke.
"Would you like me to go first?" I offer. Without receiving an answer, I pull my pants down to my ankles, smirking as her eyes follow me every movement. I step out of them, stumbling clumsily out of them. Making her laugh.
God, I could listen to that all day.
She swallows and breaths hard as she lets the blanket fall to the floor. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she keeps her eyes on anything but me. When she notices she's holding her arms across her body self consciously, she forces them to her sides uncomfortably. Her fingers fidget with the hem of her panties.
I haven't realized how see through they were before. They're just about straight lace.
I swallow hard as my eyes follow her skin head to toe.
I place my hands on her hips. Feeling the chill bumps rise in her skin under my hands when I do.
I see her chest rise up and down as she breathes. More deeper the longer my eyes don't move from this canvas that is her skin.
Stop staring idiot! Kiss her you fool!
My head snaps up to meet her eyes. Shaking my head clear, I finally kiss those lips I crave constantly. She kisses me back, snaking her arms around me. Her hands in my hair.
Fuck, I love that.
Next thing I know, I'm pushing her up against my door. Her body staying against mine, not wanting the space in between us either.
As gently as I'm able, I lift her up. Holding her bum as I hold her up. Her legs wrap around me and her lips devour my neck. A moan escapes from me, only giving her more motivation to make me let out that noise again. And I can't help it, I give her what she wants. Do I have a choice?
The answers, no.
I let her down when we reach the foot of my bed. She pulls me on her as she falls back on it. Her legs wrap around me once again. My hand slides up from her knee to her thigh. Our lips chasing each other's the whole time.
Now she's pushing me off her and on my back.
She's stronger then I thought.
She gets on top of me and kisses me all over. This feels amazing. She needs to know how amazing this feels. I attack her skin with my lips. From her neck to her chest. She lets out a small moan of my name.
Alright, that's it.
When she's settled in her previous position on her back, I lift my body on my hands over her. I kiss her everywhere. From her chest to her stomach. Lastly, I kiss her lips softly. When our mouths part, she lifts up a bit and starts to unclasp her bra.
"Can I?" I ask.
She nods, bitting her smile. I unhook the claps easily and slowly remove it from her. Chills appear on her skin as I do so.
I pull the covers over us to warm her up a bit.
Then I notice her hands on my briefs. She's staring at the hem. Our eyes meet and I nod, granting her permission. Once they're off, she meets my gaze once again.
"My turn."
Is that a smirk I see? I'm rubbing off on her.
I help her strip them off of her. We've never been naked together. It's so vulnerable for the both of us.
"Is this okay?" I want to make sure.
"It's perfect." She assures with a gentle and loving kiss. "I'm ready. Just walk me through it, okay?" She adds, nervous yet again.
I'll try my best to calm her down. It's only fair. She does the same for me. I could be in the middle of a tornado, but if she's with me, it's as if I'm in Paradise.
"Alright, we'll go slow." I promise. "Hey... I love you, Jordyn Smith." I smile warmly as my heart continues to melt.
"I love you, too, Harry st-
"Okay, you know how I feel about saying you're last name. It makes me feel like I'm not seeing you as a person or something." She explains.
"How about this... you can call me by my middle name. Yeah?" I suggest.
"Okay, only if you do the same." She offers her deal.
"Alright, Jordyn Claire." I grin.
"Okay, Harry Edward." She breaths the words on my lips before kissing them.
We took things slow. There was a lot of nervous giggling and awkwardness. I think I asked her if she was okay like a hundred times. She finally told me to just shut up and stop asking. She laughed as she gave her command, but I obeyed it anyway. Partly. I still looked at her quite a bit for permission to keep going. She would nod each time. Giving me the, "Yes"
I'm not gonna lie, it was hard not to finish right away like a horny teenager. But you have to understand, I've never wanted anyone so badly. And it's not only my body that wants her. It's my mind, heart, soul, and every other piece of myself that there is. My body reacts to her in such a way... we fit so perfectly together, it's takes some restraint not to get carried away.
But I know we needed to take things slow. And I know she needs time to get used to all these new sensations. And I'm aware the first time for women isn't usually all that enjoyable, but I try my best to make it that way regardless. And parts she did enjoy, I made sure to remember.
It was more sweet and tender then passionate. But we have plenty of time for passion in our future. So, I'm not worried. There will be plenty of opportunities for me to show her how crazy she really makes me, and I can't wait for that. But for now, she, we need slow and steady. No surprises, no matter how enjoyable they are.
Boy, she has no idea what she's in for.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna go all 50 Shades on her.
Well not at first-
No. I don't even know if I would be into that... maybe to an extend. But I have to learn her body and what she likes before I can even think about having that conversation with her.
Like I said, we've made love once. How is she supposed to know what she likes and doesn't for that matter, this soon? We need to learn each other's bodies naturally before we start to do any experimenting.
We just got out of the shower. It's about thirty minutes past 11:00 Pm. I'm sat in bed, watching Friends on the television as Jordyn finds one of my t- shits to wear to bed.
"So... I'm gonna go to bed." She tells, awkwardly standing in between the door and my bed.
"You're not staying in here?" I ask, a little offended.
Shit did I do something wrong?
"Wait, I didn't hurt you, did I-
"No! No! No, Harry." She sits on my bed and pushes her hands through my curls. "You were perfect. I just... don't want you to get sick of me or anything. It's you're house. You need your space. That's kinda why I have a room." She laughs.
"I'm not sick of you. And I don't need space. I want you right here." I wrap my arms around her.
There that smile I missed.
"Do... do you need space?" I'm afraid to ask, but need to know.
"No, Harry. It's just..." She sighs and runs her fingers through her wet hair. "I'm just scared if I sleep in your bed... then it won't be long until I'm keeping my stuff in your room and it will be like we're living living together, and what if it's too soon for that and we start fighting and-
"Hold on, hold on." I plead, taking her frantic hands in mine. "Listen to me, love... there's absolutely no pressure. You're welcome to stay in here or sleep in you're room. If one of us needs space at any time, we'll talk about it. It's as simple as that. Alright?" I tuck some hair behind her ear.
She nods, finally meeting my eyes. "I love you."
"I love you." I answer.
"I think... I'm gonna sleep in my room." She gets out the words, but the words didn't come out easily.
"That's fine."
Is it?
It feels wrong. We just made love. And now she's gonna sleep somewhere else? Alone? It makes me feel like I just fucked her and left her all by herself and that was it. But I didn't. I love her and I want her here, in my arms, on my chest, next to me.
But, if she wishes to sleep in her own bed, it's not my place to ask her not to. I did offer her her own room after all. I have to respect her. And respecting her means giving her space, no matter how much it kills me.
"If you need me, you know where I'll be." I try to give a convincing smile, hoping my charm will distract her from my true feelings about this.
"Okay, goodnight. Love you." She kisses me.
"Sleep well, love you." I answer, leaving a kiss on her forehead. And I can almost hear my heart crack as I watch her walk out of my door.
"Fuck sake." I sigh the words, pushing my hand through my hair in frustration.
I turn off the television after a few minutes and lay in the dark room with my eyes wide open. I eventually pull a pillow towards me and hug it pathetically, trying to trick my tired mind into thinking it's Jordyn.
My attempts fail miserably.
My head shoots up like a guard god when I hear my door open.
"Shit, did I wake you up?" Jordyn worries I'm a whisper.
"No, not at all. I couldn't get to sleep." I admit in assurance, my voice a little raspy.
"Oh, me either." She explains, getting under the covers and cuddling with me.
I hum as I hug her tightly to my naked body.
"Am I selfish for being glade about that?"
"If you are, I don't really give a damn." She jokes.
I chuckle softly. "You comfortable?" I question as she squirms a bit under my hold on her.
"Hold on," She takes her- well, my shirt off.
Hey, what's mine is yours.
"Okay, I'm good now. Are you comfortable?" She asks kindly.
"I am now." I hug her even tighter.
"Hm," she sings. "Goodnight, Harry." I can hear the smile in her words.
"Goodnight my little scaredy-cat." I nibble on her neck.
"Is that my new nickname, now?" She guesses.
"After I learned how scared you are of the ocean, yes. That is you're nickname from now on." I tease.
"Fine, I'm a little wimp. I hate scary movies, I'm terrified of sharks, and I still check under the bed from time to time." She explains quickly, scared that if she didn't say it all at once, she wouldn't ever get any of it out.
"You're fucking adorable, you know that?" I wonder.
"Shut up." She giggles.
Nope, she has no idea.
"Make me." I test.
"I'll make you in the morning. I'm exhausted."
And with that promise in the back of my mind and her secure in my arms, I fall asleep. The sound of her gentle breathing the last I hear.
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All the love, Mad. 🖤🌞