Monday is a disaster from the start.
When I get to the girl's cabin in the morning Zoe's eyes are blood shot and most of the girls are refusing to get out of bed. Normally by the time I get to the cabin, they've been up for an hour or so and are ready for the day ahead.
"It's been the worst night," Zoe tells me as she rubs her eyes. "I couldn't get any of them to sleep until gone eleven, I think letting them have a second s'more last night was a bad idea."
"Why don't you go back to our cabin and have a nap? We'll be fine with the girls," I say to Zoe as Tabitha and Aisling try to wrestle the blanket away from Annie and Daisy.
"No, I'll be fine," she yawns. "I'll power through and then have one hell of a sleep tonight." Even now Zoe seems to have energy in her.
"OK, last one out of bed will have to spend the day with Jen and not doing our awesome activities!" As soon as the words leave my mouth, the girls are springing out of their beds and rushing to the bathroom. They may not want to get out of bed, but they definitely don't want to be left out of our activities.
"Nice, Cass." Zoe nods her head approvingly and then runs her fingers through her hair, trying to straighten it out.
By the end of breakfast the littles seem to have more energy in them, but they also seem to have some new found attitudes.
"This game sucks," Annie grumbles after Zack finishes explaining the rules of tag rugby.
"You haven't even tried it yet, Annie." I roll my eyes beside her, she's been difficult about everything so far today. She didn't want to wear any of her clothes, not even the ones Daisy suggested. She didn't like any of the breakfast choices, despite eating them all the past two weeks.
"Don't need to try it to know," she mutters back.
"OK, well you can sit out until you're ready to join in then," Zack tells her in a firm voice. From what I heard at breakfast, the boys were no better for him last night and he definitely doesn't have the energy for anymore arguments.
"That's so unfair!" Annie folds her arms across her body before stomping to a log from last night's campfire. She gives all the counsellors evils as she stews on the log.
The rest of the littles watch the exchange, eyes wide and mouths open. We haven't needed to discipline anyone up until now; it's a first for all of us, but it seems to make the littles pay more attention to Zack as he splits them into teams.
We've used sticks to mark out a large rectangle on the beach and Jonah managed to find a bag of coloured vests you can stick the velcro tags to. We explain the rules one last time, Jonah and me demonstrating, before Zack places the rugby ball in the middle of the pitch and yells, "On your marks, get set. . . Go!"
The older littles show no mercy, pulling tags from the younger ones before they can comprehend what to do when they catch the ball. It's actually a lot harder to watch than I was expecting. One by one the younger littles collapse into a fit of tears, their lack of sleep catching up with them.
Zack calls a break after ten minutes and gathers the counsellors together.
"Cass, can you talk to Annie?" I nod my head. "Thanks. Everyone else choose a little and try to get them to stop crying."
I sit down beside Annie who has been pretending not to watch the game. I don't say anything, I can sense that she wants to speak and if I start then she might just ignore me.
After a few minutes she sighs and unfolds her arms, turning towards me slowly. "I'm sorry."
"It's not me you need to say that to," I tell her gently.
Annie sighs again. "I know. It's just I don't like this game," she says quietly, her eyes suddenly turning to the ground.
Yes, you made that very clear, I think to myself, but I can tell there is more to it than that.
"We played this at school and some of the girls in my class kept tripping me on purpose when the teacher wasn't looking."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Annie." I place my hand on her back gently and she shuffles closer, still keeping her eyes on the ground. "But no one is going to trip you here. The little ones really look up to you, I think they were sad that you weren't playing."
Annie lifts her head and studies my face carefully, trying to decide if I'm telling the truth or not. She smiles at me anxiously but nods her head and pushes herself up from the log. "Let's play."
Most of the littles have stopped crying by now and are standing on the lake's shore, dipping their toes into the calm blue water with the counsellors. We join them, pulling off our trainers and socks.
The water is refreshing and staring out into the lake makes me feel peaceful. Until a memory floods back; me swimming into Ryan Jefferson's boat. Now all I can think about is the fact that I didn't text him back after Saturday night and he hasn't texted either. He's pissed and I don't really know why.
I tear my eyes away from the lake and step back feeling queasy. I'm meant to see him tonight, but I'm not sure if I want to; I'm mad too. Mad that he would imply something was going on between Alex and me, mad that he thinks I could do what he's implied and mad that he very nearly ruined a rare Saturday night out with my friends.
"Cassie?" A small voice and a tug at my shirt pull me back to reality. I shake my head of anything thoughts to do with Ryan and smile down at Nellie. "We're gonna play again." She smiles softly, taking my hand in hers.
The second game goes a lot better than the first, not that it could've been any worse, and it ends it a draw, which is probably for the best, I don't think I can handle anyone crying again.
The littles seem a bit more like themselves as we sit down for lunch. It's a choice of five different toasties today with salad, crisps and juice. They chat in their small groups as they eat. Zoe is distracted by her phone most of the time so I listen to the conversations from around the table, anything to avoid thinking about tonight.
*
In the evening, after leaving Tabitha with the practically asleep girls, I change into a pair of light blue jeans, a black strappy top and a zip up hoody, there's a chill settling in the air tonight and it reminds me that summer here will be ending soon.
I wrap my arms around myself as I make my way to Jefferson Lakes, a knot twisting in the pit of my stomach. I'm going because I'm mad, not because I want to. I use the same route we took the night of the food fight, but even walking through the green trees doesn't lighten my mood.
When I get to the edge of the car park, Ryan is already there, kicking a stone around halfheartedly.
"Hi," I say, stopping a few feet away from him. He looks up and nods his head slightly, I think it's the first time he's not smiled at me and I don't know how to feel about it.
But I guess if he's not going to say anything then I'll get my piece out of the way. "That was a really crappy thing to send me. Why would you imply I was doing something wrong? I was just out with my friends." I bite back the other things I want to say, I don't want to have a full blown argument in the Jefferson Lakes' car park.
"I know. I just, when I saw you all together I felt hurt and I just wanted to say something to get your attention. You barely even looked at me when I came over. Are you ashamed of me?" Ryan asks quietly, hurt in his voice.
I don't know how to answer truthfully. Of course I'm not ashamed of Ryan, but I am weary of the comments the guys will make if they find out about us.
"You know why I felt hurt? Because you blew me off to hang out with your friends - which is totally fine, I'm not telling you you can't hang with them - but you didn't even invite me. You invited some guy I've never seen before, but not your boyfriend."
OK. So, he may have a point. But, so do I.
"Oh, come on, you know exactly what would've happened if I'd invited you. Crash and Robbie weren't exactly welcoming you to our table, were they?"
"I don't care about Crash and Robbie. I care about you. I care about spending time with you, Cassie." Ryan shoves his hands into his pockets and sighs, his heart on his sleeve.
I could concede. I could apologise. I could promise to invite him to the group's next night out, despite knowing it could lead to my social downfall. But I don't. I'm stubborn, after all.
"And I like spending time with you. I just need to spend time with my friends too."
Ryan's eyebrows furrow, like he's trying to make sense of what I just said. "You spend all day with them at the camp, Cass!" He says it louder than before. A couple making their way to a car turn their heads towards us and I feel heat spread across my face.
"It's not the same. When we're on duty we don't stand around chatting," I tell him, exasperated. I didn't do anything wrong, but somehow this whole conversation has turned on me. I came over here to confront him about the text he sent and now it's apparently all my fault.
We stand in silence, nothing but the rustle of the trees in the wind and the lapping of the lake to fill the silence between us.
After a few minutes, Ryan steps forward, closing the gap between us. "I really like you, Cass." He takes my hands and offers me a smile. Is that it? Not even an apology?
I tug my hands from his grasp and step back, frowning. "Do you even care how crappy you made me feel, sending that text? And how you tried to make it seem like my fault? And now you want to hold my hands and make me forget all about it without even saying sorry? No. No way."
He takes a deep breath and then blows it out in annoyance. "I feel bad about the text, I sent it when I was upset. I'd just come over to the table and you guys looked like you were having fun and then you wouldn't even look at me. I just wanted you to know how it made me feel."
"OK, we're just going around in circles now. There's no justification for what you texted me, and if there were, seeing me out with my friends definitely wouldn't be it." I search Ryan's face, his deep brown eyes, looking for any sign that he understands me. But I can't tell what he's thinking.
Ryan runs a hand across the top of his head and looks at me with such seriousness that I think this is the end. "Look, Cass, if you're serious about me then I want to be included in your life. I want to know your friends, and if that means spending the evening being mocked by Crash and Robbie, then so be it. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you."
He doesn't add anything else, there's no need, we're both fully aware of how the summer is going to end. But there it is, his honest feelings about me. And maybe just maybe it's enough to let go of my hesitations, of the thoughts that this is all just a twisted plot of revenge for the food fight.
I'm taken aback, I don't really know what to say. Seconds ago I was mad at him and now it just feels like it doesn't matter. I feel kind of crappy even, for not inviting him out on Saturday, I mean, I purposely asked everyone else if they wanted to go to Old Jack's just so I didn't have to see Ryan. . . Maybe I am the one in the wrong.
"I'm sorry, I should have invited you," I tell him, stepping forwards again to close the canyon between us.
"I'm sorry that I sent you that text, I should've just told you how I was feeling." Ryan smiles sadly as he wraps one of my black waves around his finger.
Neither of us says anything for a few seconds and as I watch his eyes soften, they fall onto mine and a warm feeling spreads across my body. This is real. He moves his hand from my hair to a cheek, and the touch is electric. He pulls me closer, slowly leaning down until our faces are only millimeters apart. My heart is surprisingly steady as he closes the space between us and his warm lips press against mine gently.
And just like that all is forgiven and forgotten.