I whistled my to Frypan to get some food in my system. Surprisingly, I feel okay. Well if you take out the part where I cry all night long and in the next morning I plaster on a fake smile and reply with "I'm okay." Then I guess you could say I'm not okay.
Newts words has been on mind. Whenever I pass by him, he either looks the other way or goes to the opposite direction. No matter what I do, he'll probably will just try to forget.
So far I haven't had a chance to run out to the Maze. Minho and Alby has been on my case. Minho mostly being like a big brother, and Alby like my father. They've been occasionally checking up on me, and asking me questions whether or not I remember things. As of now I've been giving them useless information or nothing at all. Minho would always remind me that if I'm ready to become a runner again, I could just come up to him.
How could I tell them about me being able to communicate with other people or I see these things, they'll probably think I'm some kind of spy from the Creators.
So far the only friend I have made is Chuck and Thomas. Chuck as told stories about how I used to be and I would always remind him the one day maybe the old me would come back. Thomas and I got on really well, every other days we would go up to that tree to talk and express out our feelings.
It was always nice to have someone you could actually talk to and they would listen and give some advice back. And that's how I felt about Thomas. He was okay with me rambling on how much I hated and loved Newt.
Thomas would remind me of a few memories when I was the old me. Sometimes I would get upset with the fact that they would rather have the old Talia than the new Talia.
I guess after sitting a while, it made me think about me becoming a runner again, even though I don't know anything about the Maze, Minho promised to teach me and show me the routes.
I got up from my sit and looked for Minho. The most awkward thing is having eye contact with the person you have mixed feelings with ignore you like your just some kind of ghost.
That is currently my feeling when Newt just suddenly passed me, making my heart pace fast. I shook it off and decided to focus on my needs.
Walking up to Minho was nerve racking, Must I toughened up. "Minho." I called out. Minho turns his head my way and a smile plaster on his face. I could tell he told his friends goodbye as everyone who was just talking to him left.
"Hey T, whats up?" Minho asked walking towards me.
I fiddled with my fingers, "You know that option you gave me if I would like to come back as a runner?" I bite my lip.
He nodded, "Go on."
"Well I want to be a runner, or at least come back as one. But you gotta teach me the routes of this Maze and remind me the horror outside this stupid maze."
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[ lol sorry i was lazy to write down minho and talias conversation, bye. ]
"Okay so you got it right?" Minho asks as he passed me a piece of paper with drawings, I'm guessing the Maze.
"Good that." I replied walking around a decoy building of how the maze looked like.
"So have you told Newt?" Minho wondered and I stopped my tracked, not only I wanted to tell Newt but I was hoping no one would ask me anything about Newt.
"Why should I? I'm not part of his world anymore." I replied harshly. I didn't mean to sound rude but Newt doesn't want anything to do with me and I don't want anything to do with him.
"Its just you guys we're pretty close before." Minho replied awkwardly, probably regretting asking that question.
"That was in the past. That girl is gone, don't go wishing that she'll somehow come back." I threatened.
I guess I was just annoyed with the fact not everyone likes the new Talia, they'd rather have the old me.
Tears started forming near my eyes and my hands cupped my face as I sobbed uncontrollably. I could feel Minho's hand rubbing against my back. "Whats wrong?" He asked.
"Everything. I'm trying okay? I'm trying to go back the way it was, can't everyone see that? I get that I'm a whole different person but that doesn't mean everyone has to be all googly nice to me. I'd rather have everyone be a bitch to me than have everyone be dishonest about the new me. Heck I'd rather hear them call me names than look at me like I'm some kind of threat or disease waiting to become a virus that spreads out." I rambled still sobbing.
I shook off Minho's hand off my back and wiped my face. My face was all wet and sticky probably due to my snot but who cares? I fiercely walked out of there like nothing had happened.
I guess someone heard me sniffling out my nose when I noticed Thomas was looking at me. "Hey? Whats wrong?" He asked as he walks towards me.
"I just want to go to sleep, okay?" I replied and he nodded letting me walk by peacefully and to my bed.
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2 MORE DAYS TI'LL CHRISTMAS BREAK OMFG YES