lara and i were now in baton rouge. we were walking out of the movie theater and towards my truck when she followed me to the driver's side, pulled me closer to her and kissed me. i put my hands in the back pockets of her jeans to steady her while her lips connected with mine. her lips tasted like the cherry drink she had and i couldn't get enough. eventually, i pulled away and placed my right hand on her shoulder and took my left hand out of the other pocket.
"so, did you like the movie?" i asked, as she grinned at me. the amc theater showed what's eating gilbert grape? since they were showcasing 90s movies every saturday this month. it was only 6pm and i decided that it was the perfect time to bring lara to see a live show at a club that wasn't too far from here.
"it was absolutely amazing."
tiger bar was the least noisy and least ticketed bar in baton rouge. it was the only under 21 club where the atmosphere was inviting and calm, making it the perfect place for me to bring lara.
we got inside without any hassle and we stood on the floor, where we waited for the act of the night to start the show. lara had a poster of this artist frankie cosmos in her bedroom and i googled her only to find that they were playing in baton rouge this weekend. i wasn't sure if lara knew about the concert but i knew i had to bring her to see them tonight.
"oh my fucking god, i love them," exclaimed lara, as the drummer began to set up.
"i figured you would like them."
"greta kline is literally the reason i picked up a guitar. i fucking love them," replied lara.
soon, the show started and lara was entranced. she knew every lyric to every song they played. the songs were short and sweet, causing everyone around us to go into a near hypnotic state. lara nodded her head subtly to the beat of each song while i stood next to her and occasionally had my hand around her waist when she wasn't moving too much.
we were at the show for about two hours. as we walked out of the venue, the sky was finally beginning to turn dark, as if the someone had painted a picture of a sunset with yellow, blue and purple but spilled black paint over the portrait.
we were now at my truck and i unlocked it so we could get in.
"what's next on the itinerary?" questioned lara, as we both buckled up and i prepared to drive off.
"well, my parents are out of town and they said it was okay for me to stay here and bring a guest. so i just have to pretend you're spencer but we can do whatever we want," i answered, shifting from reverse to drive and pulling out of the parking lot.
we made it to my place and i punched in the code for my house and opened the door. the living room looked pristine and untouched, which made sense due to the fact my parents had been in philadelphia since thursday and planned on returning sometime wednesday.
"your house is really nice. oh my god," said lara, as she discovered family portraits and pictures of me when i was growing up. she pointed to my senior portrait when i was in high school, where i had a small smile on my face and was wearing a tuxedo shirt and jacket.
"you look so different with short hair," remarked lara, alluding to the fact that my hair was now quite long with tapered sides and back instead of the caesar-like haircut i had in most of my high school pictures.
"i stopped getting haircuts as often whenever i went off to college. my mom couldn't drag me there, you know?" lara nodded understandingly.
we settled on the sofa in the living room and i instinctively reached for the remote to the television, turning it on and beginning to flip through channels, until i thought of an idea.
"hey, how about i fix us some wine and we can hang out in my room?" i offered.
"that sounds good." i got up and walked to the pantry, on the search for both wine and glasses.
lara sat on my bed, sipping her glass of rosé while i connected my phone to the bluetooth speakers in my room.
"any requests?" i asked.
"put on lana's latest album," replied lara. i searched for it and pressed shuffle. i sat next to lara on my bed, holding my glass while she seemed to take the music in.
"god, i love this album," said lara, breaking our silence. she was now finished with her glass and i gulped the rest of mine down so i could set my glass on my nightstand the night. i laid back in my bed and my hands behind my head. lara followed my cue and buried her face in the crook of my neck and placed a hand on my chest.
"this is a weird question, but i kinda wanna know the answer," began lara.
"shoot."
"how many girls have you slept with?"
"six. how many guys have you slept with?" i retorted.
"two."
"you're not the player i thought you were." lara scoffed at my joke.
"i'd rather not hit it and quit it," she explained.
"i'd rather not either. i like being in a relationship. i like consistency." her head was now on my chest, moving up and down slightly with every breath i took.
"be honest, would you be in a relationship with me?" questioned lara.
"yes."
"we should do that sometime. i like this," said lara.
"you're really nice to hold. and i like your songs. i like your face, i like your hair, i like everything," i rambled. the rosé hit just a little bit too hard.
"you're really sweet, paul. like you're genuinely sweet. you don't have anything to prove and-and you're not just doing it to get laid. why don't you have a steady girlfriend?" asked lara.
"i'm not really sure. why don't you have a steady boyfriend?"
"i just can't seem to find the right guy, you know? i wanna find the guy who i'll think about at night for good reasons, not wondering if i'm good enough for him," she explained. lara had her face buried in my chest and i craned my neck to give her a kiss on the top of her head.
"i wanna date you. i wanna have moments like this all the time, i wanna listen to you perform, i wanna bring you to events as my date, i-i wanna do it all with you," i said. lara shifted herself so that our faces were now level and she kissed me on the lips.
i poured more wine for lara while she poured out her guts. she described how scared she was of me deciding i didn't like her, how much she truly liked me and being with me and the fact that she liked having sex but she was scared that guys would find out and use it just to hook up with her.
i began to spill my guts to her too. i told her about how weird i felt after every meaningless hookup, how i felt that i had to be with georgie since it was expected not that i actually wanted it and how much i actually liked her, despite the fact that we were so different.
"paul joseph francis, you are my favorite frat boy."
"lara katherine holland, you're my favorite geed."
lara and i kept talking, and before we knew it, it was 1am and i was fucking starving. there was a pizza place that i knew was open so i consulted lara about her preferences and we settled on a vegetarian option. after forty-five minutes, the doorbell rang and i left lara in my bed so i could get it. we had both changed our clothing: i was wearing a gray lsu t-shirt with navy sweatpants and i lent lara a pair of boxers adorned with hearts and the cross country sweatshirt i had gotten my first semester of college.
i opened the door and gave the delivery guy $30, including a large tip for the late night delivery and waved at him as he left. i set the pizza on the kitchen table in the dining room and i grabbed two plates as lara came out of my room.
"hey, someone's been calling your phone," she said, handing me my phone as i checked the notifications. there were several calls from spencer and a slew of texts from both him and jesse. i checked the most recent messages.
spencer knight:
are u in br rn?
sam said he's at his parents house and he's about to kill himself
jesse and i are about an hour away but u gotta get there
i can't lose him
spencer sent me his address and it turned out to be roughly fifteen minutes away from my place. i left lara at my house for the simple fact that i didn't want her to possibly see anything traumatic or horrifying. i pulled into the driveway and quickly got out of my truck and bolted to his front door, knocking loudly.
"sam! it's paul. please open up!" i shouted, hoping he was able to answer. after a few minutes of anxiety that made me feel queasy enough to throw up on his front porch step, i heard the door open and sam appeared. his dark hair was messy as if he had lost a battle with the wind and the dark circles under his eyes made him look even paler than usual.
sam's house was the closest one could get to a mansion in a baton rouge neighborhood. without even focusing, i spotted a spiral staircase, intricate light fixtures and several portraits, including one of him and his dog, all in his expansive living room.
"i'm-i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry," began sam. he was now in front of me, his face beginning to turn red from sobbing. i grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, feeling his heaving sobs against my chest.