contains triggering material such as self harm and self-hatred ( shouting hurtful things to oneself )
be careful reading lovelys xx.
it wasn't supposed to end like this. ashton and i were supposed to talk (me doing most of the talking, of course) and get to know each other just a little more. i wasn't supposed to see this.
when i arrived at ashton's house, i was a nervous wreck. the feeling that something was going to go wrong kept crawling up my spine, sending shivers throughout my body, but i ignored it.
just like i ignored the screams coming from inside the house.
the door was cracked open, as if someone had rushed inside and not paused to properly close the door. cautiously, i entered and lurked around for about four seconds when the screams came again. but this time they came accompanied with words.
"i'm useless! i'm useless! i'm so fucking useless!" a male voice shouted angrily from ashton's room. without another thought i ran straight for the sounds of muffled sobbs and hiccups.
while i ran to ash's room, i continued hearing more shouts like before, with constant chanting of the phrase "i'm useless" follwed after. the emotions that flooded those words caused me physical pain as i pushed the door without another doubt.
"this is for being...a waste of space" he whispered. ashton was curled up in a corner of his room, fat tears running down his cheeks. he paused mid-sentance to let out a strangled sob and i couldn't help my heart as i felt it literally break. ashton held a sole metal blade between his fingertips and glided it across the opposite wrist, creating a painting with it; the skin being his canvas and the blood, his ink.
"ash..." i whispered. he looked up at me, but he wasn't there. his eyes were lifeless and nothing but vacant pools of emptiness. "what are you doing?"
"hi luke" he mumbled lowly. i couldn't help but notice how his voice wavered at cracked at my name. "i'm going to heaven today. i'm going with my mumma, i get to see my mumma!"
"ashton" i whimpered and that's when i noticed the faint sounds of a soft melodic tune playing.
'we stood on the ceiling
you showed me love was all you needed
but heaven couldn't wait for you'
no, heaven couldn't wait for you'
+
how are you guys even here this story sucks.
two more chapters until it's over.
i was thinking about making another book, not a sequel, but like this story in ashton's pov and i wanted to know if you guys would read it. if not then why bother with this.
next couple of chapters gonna be hella emotional so grab your tissues and a Hershey's bar to eat your feelings