When Kylo comes back about an hour later you hear him take off his mask and slam in down.
"Kylo?" You call out, getting up from the bedroom to see what the fuss was about.
"Hey." He turns to look at you, "did I disturb you?"
You shake your head, "I just got out of the shower." you say with a small smirk.
His stoic face breaks out into a smile and he rolls his eyes, "I was about to mention that. Our little... fiasco with the pancakes-"
"The food fight." you state.
He sighs, "the food fight, yes, well it made me look less intimidating."
"You mean they weren't scared of a giant man wearing whipped cream?" You laugh.
"You're so annoying, y/n." He says, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear.
"I'm not the annoying one here." You say matter of factly, "I find men in deserts very intimidating."
"I'm being serious, Princess." Kylo says softly, "there's a lot of things going on right now and I can't let myself get distracted by you."
"Distracted by me?" You question with a seductive smile, "do I distract you Kylo Ren?" you graze your fingers down his hand and intertwine then with his.
"That's not what I mean." he looks down at your hands, "We've been tracking the Resistance for days, it's not before long that they run out of fuel."
"That's a good thing then isn't it?"
He doesn't answer.
"Hey?"
"It is a good thing, but it just makes everything tense."
You didn't really understand what was going on in the war but seeing Kylo so tense and nervous did tell you that things were difficult at the moment.
"So that's why you need be intimidating and not be distracted." you ask.
He nods, "exactly."
"Is that why you wear this big piece of metal on your head?" You say while picking up his helmet.
He tenses as you touch it but doesn't say anything.
"Oh I see." You graze your fingers along the barred sides, "you don't wear it around here because I don't intimidate you."
He laugh softly, "you actually intimidate me a lot."
You smile and put on his mask before he could comprehend your actions and protest.
You cross your arms and stand on your tippy toes which only brings you up to his shoulders.
"Now do I look intimidating?" You ask, surprised to hear your voice sound so deep through the filter.
Kylo blinks at you and his eyes widen, "take that off."
"Why?"
"Because you're scaring me?"
His voice was laced with concern and his eyes were visibly distraught, he didn't like seeing you so much like him.
You take off the helmet and the hissing sound goes off making Kylo wince.
"Only because it looks much better on you." you say softly, placing it down on a pedistool.
"It hides you beautiful face." He tells you, Leaning in for your lips.
You smile and meet him halfway, tilting your head up, "that's why I wanted it off your face."
You feel him smile and find your arms snaking around his neck to pull him closer to you. He groans out in pleasure and slides his hands up your back to play with your hair.
"Y/n.." he says on your lips, his breathing becoming heavy.
"Hm?" you whisper.
"I-"
You interrupt him by making contact again, cutting off his words.
"Talk later. Kiss now." you tell him, he replies by kissing you again with more force.
-
For the next few weeks Kylo has been in and out of different meetings regarding the Resistance and orders made by Snoke.
But at some parts during the busy day he'd be home for a few hours in which you two would either make something in the kitchen together which usually ended up with food everywhere because he always acted like a child.
"You must have mustard on your burger!" Kylo shots at you, standing on top of the coffee table, aiming a yellow mustard bottle at you.
"No!" You shout back, "ketchup."
"I have the high ground, y/n." He exclaims, "It's over."
He gives you a lopsided smile and pours some mustard on your hamburger, shining with triumph.
"You little bastard!" You yell. "You under estimate my power."
"What power?" He asks.
You smile and show him the bottle of ketchup you'd been hiding behind your back, "a surprise attack!" You squirt it at him.
His hands flicks out in front of him and the ketchup is forced back on you, covering your face and neck with red goop.
"Cheater!" You scream.
He laughs and takes a bite of his burger.
"You can't use your magic force power for every thing, Kylo!"
He showed you his lightsaber for the first time the other day which you somehow managed to open when he was in the bathroom and ended up chopping up his private training quarter.
"How did you accidentally open my saber, y/n." He says, entering the room with wide eyes.
"I don't know." you explain, "it just went.. pshhh and boom it was red and then-"
"What's a 'pshhh'?" He asks.
"You know the sound it makes when it opens." You gasp at his adolescence.
"It's doesn't sound like that." He says matter of factly.
"Yes it does."
"No." He shakes his head, but then looks at you.
He ignites it and sure enough it went pshhh. "Okay yeah you're right."
"I told you."
You also taught Kylo how to paint.
"You have to be calm, Kylo." You try explaining, grabbing his hand and moving it to make a big circle on the canvas.
"I'm not a calm person!" He exclaims, dropping the paint brush on the floor and standing up.
"Well if you drank the wine like I told you to, you'd be calm!" you say.
"I don't drink!"
"That was your first mistake."
"No my first mistake was agreeing to paint with you." He angrily says, staring at his pitiful painting of a squiggly circle.
"Hey!" you point at his canvas, "your painting isn't so bad, mister lord Commander."
"It looks like the Death Star."
"Exactly!" you say smiling at him.
"After it was blown up."
Your smile falls and your show him your canvas which was of course a flawless oil painting of your home planet.
"You could be as good as me if you just practiced more."
"No."
Let's just say that painting day ended with two chopped in half isles in the garbage.
Some days were just spent having useless conversations.
"If I told you I had an 8 pack would you believe me?" Kylo asked you one day.
"What?" you raised your eyebrows at him.
"If I told you I had an 8 pack would you believe me?" He repeats, dead ass serious.
"Probably not." you reply honestly, a smile spreading on your lips when you see him lick his lips sub consciously.
"Well when I went undercover as a reader tech a few years ago they all said they believed it."
"Really?" You question, putting down the book you were reading.
"Yeah."
"What else did they say about you?"
"That my uniform looked like a little black dress." he replies.
You burst out in laughter at the image of Kylo in a dress.
"Hey!" He growls, his expression only makes you laugh more.
"I'm sorry!" You exclaim, getting up to hug him, "I'm sorry I just- that's really funny."
He gratefully hugs you back, smiling into your shoulder, laughing a tiny bit himself.
"But," he says quietly, "you think I'm muscular right?"
"Maybe a 4 pack." You joke.
"What!" you hear him say
"Ok ok a 6 pack." You laugh, "you don't get anymore."
"I'll take it."
Today was one of those days. A day where you were both sitting at the table, enjoying each other's company.
Kylo was wearing a white tee shirt. A color uncommon in his wardrobe but he insisted that it was only because all his black t shirts were in the wash.
You rolled your eyes to that excuse, the man had thousands of tee shirts.
You look up from your holopad to find him staring at you contently.
"Can I ask you a question?" He says in a murky voice.
"I mean do I have a choice?" You joke.
He rolls his beautiful brown eyes at you which makes you smile, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. What?"
"Do you know how to braid?"
The question took you by surprise.
"Yes."
His face flickers with different emotions and he runs his hand through his hair, "on the day I left home to go to the Jedi Academy my mother braided my padawan braid."
"A padawan braid?"
He nods, "I forgot you don't really know about Jedi, do you?"
"Not really." you look at him, "there aren't many around anymore."
"Right, sorry." he almost smiles as if remembering a time where there were many Jedi in his life, but he quickly scowls, "it's just some dumb thing Jedi in training kids do with their hair."
"Don't do that." You say.
"Do what?"
"That thing where you pretend to not care about things that had importance to you."
He doesn't reply.
"So." You smile, "go one but I don't want any scowls or dramatic mood swings."
"Fine." He says, "at the beginning of Jedi training you choose one strand of hair to never cut, we have to keep our hair short-" he clarifies seeing your confused face, "and that piece of hair is braided and eventually gets longer and longer until you are a Jedi Knight after training. Where it's cut off to symbolize your growth with the force."
You tilt your head, trying to envision Kylo with short black hair and a long braid, "what happened to your braid?" you ask, looking at his long locks.
"Snoke made me cut it off with my lightsaber when I joined the First Order." he touches his shoulder, "it was weird at first because I had it for so long."
"It was a part of you." you tell him, "Snoke had no right to cut it off."
"He had the right." Kylo said, "but I wanted to cut it off to. I was immature and cocky, I thought my training was done."
"So you cut it off to prove to Snoke you were ready for power."
"Not to Snoke," he says quietly, "to myself. I was weak and arrogant, I can see it now."
"You asked me if I knew how to braid. Why?" you dumb ass, you knew why, you just needed to hear it.
"I'm no padawan anymore, but I still have much to learn. It'll reconnect me to the force." He looked at you sadly, "I'm not a Sith Lord, I try to be, but I've been trying to be for so long and I need to come to the realization that I never will be."
He looks at his light saber and mask which was sitting across the room, "but I'm not a Jedi either."
"You are no sith or Jedi, Kylo." you tell him, "you are you. And if a braid helps you see that then I'll gladly help."
"Thank you."
You just smile warmly and come around the table so that you are standing behind his chair.
You run your hands through his hair, getting a feel of how thick and how long it was.
You knew he had hair, but you didn't know he had THIS much hair.
"Where would you like it?" you ask him.
"Padawans wore theirs on the right." He says.
"Well," you trail your hands towards the back of his right head, "what about around here so it's more hidden from Snoke and Hux?"
"Ok."
You grab a small chunk of hair and make three strands from it, "now let me tell you, I never was the best braider."
You tug tightly to start the braid which makes him flinch from surprise, "sorry." you whisper.
As you braid, Kylo closes his eyes and allows his breathing to slow, you see his lips part slightly and chest rise and fall.
The last person to touch his hair must have been Leia.
"It was." he breaks out of meditation to say in a low voice.
You weren't even mad that he was in your mind.
To end the small braid, you somehow manage to wrap another piece of his black hair around the end to tie it still, hopefully he didn't plan on taking it out any time soon.
"It's nothing fancy but." You tell Kylo.
"But it's perfect." He says, interrupting you.
"You haven't even looked at it." You point out, cupping his face with your hands, smiling down on him.
"I'm sure it's perfect." He replies with a small smile, "I know it's perfect because you made it."
"Aw."
You sir on his lap and put your legs around his waist, wrapping your arms on his neck and into his raven hair.
"How long will you keep this one in for?" You ask.
"Forever."
"Forever? That's a long time."
"When I look at it, I think of you, so forever isn't nearly enough time."
His words make your heat melt, and as you push against his soft lips you feel him smile and put his hand on your neck, deepening it.
Although you knew the Order wasn't your home, he certainly was. You had never felt so perfectly in place.
"I'm really happy with you... Ben." You whisper. Flashing your eyes up to meet his, hesitant because you called him by his real name.
His eyes scan your face and he blinks in confusion at first but then smiles, "me too."