There used to be more moments like these in Arlene's past, moments which, unknown to her, would soon become rarer and rarer, moments were everything felt right, moments were even though there was plenty of sadness to go around, there was also plenty of joy.
It was an odd feeling of sorts, the kind that hits you in seconds and leaves a warm afterglow, the stomach butterflies, the nostalgic pangs and floaty bliss all at once. No drug in the world could ever be as instant and as euphoric as those moments.
And that's what Arlene felt that afternoon when Hermione kissed her. At first it was shock, then it was pure euphoria, her heart started to beat faster with an acceleration that shouldn't have been possible, she was sure this was Hermione's first kiss, but she kissed with the same passion that she had for righteous causes and dusty books, a passion that made Arlene's knees go weak and her lips numb.
She didn't know how long the kiss lasted, it somehow felt like hours and seconds at once –both too long and not long enough- and once they finally pulled apart Arlene wanted nothing but to lean back in.
Neither of them spoke, not due to lack of trying though, Arlene didn't know what Hermione's excuse was, but hers was whenever she came close saying anything, Hermione's eyes wipe it all away and leave a string of words too mismatched to form a proper sentence.
Pretty, Smart, Talented, Amazing,
Coincidently, they were all words she'd use to describe Hermione.
Finally, she cleared her throat "So,"
And then they kissed again.
"You and Granger? Wow."
Arlene sat with Draco and the others in their usual compartment as they bid farewell to their third year, she had her upper body tangling from the window, staring at the castle as she took a drag from her cigarette.
She blew out a mouthful of smoke, smashed it on the side of the train and climbed back "Wow indeed, I mean, I'd been kissed before, but never like that you know."
Theo interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them "That's so cute! Please tell us more."
"Fuck off, -and stop smoking inside!" she ordered as she dropped back into her seat next to Blaise.
Theo, who had his legs sprawled over Draco and his chest resting on Pansy –whom he was sharing a cigarette with- snorted "Right, because the prefects are definitely not getting drunk right now."
"And even if they do pass by," added Pansy "What are they going to do? Give us detention?"
Before Arlene could argue that yes, they could and absolutely will punish them, an owl took the opportunity of the open window and flew in.
For Arlene was scribbled in a chicken footprint look alike handwriting that could only belong to her mother.
She skimmed the letter quickly and turned back to the others with a smirk.
"What." Blaise finally said when it became clear she wasn't going to say anything.
She leant back dramatically into her chair, crossed her legs in the classic melodramatic fashion they were all familiar with and cleared her throat.
"You are talking with one undisowned Arlene Black." She declared.
Pansy pushed Theo off her and leaned in to peak a look at the letter "You're serious?"
Arlene's grin widened "Yup," she stuck the parchment out and allowed it to be snatched away.
Theo and Draco immediately tried to grab it, failed then opted to push into Pansy's personal space to read it. It was rather hilarious, Pansy cornered on the side of her seat with Theo on his knees behind her to look in through her shoulder and Draco standing up and holding on to the baggage bars for support.
Blaise, clearly the only one of them that showed any signs of maturity, turned to her instead "Your dad's okay then?"
"Yeah." She paused "Mum says they're finally having a proper wedding, she's planning to change her name first thing on Monday, but I can keep mine if I want."
"Do you?"
For a moment her victorious grin faltered "I mean... I fought so hard for that name right? Every time Snape called me Black or I was written 'Arlene Burke' only, but honestly? I don't see the point anymore."
Draco, Pansy and Theo suddenly ceased to find the letter interesting anymore and were now listening in "What do you mean?" asked Pansy.
Arlene bit her lip and stared at her shoes "Back on our first day this year, we passed by mum's family- I have cousins who go to school with us you know, and her parents and siblings were there and they just stared at us with these looks and I flipped them off of course, but-"
She paused and took a deep breath "I always used Black-Burke to show that I was proud of my heritage, that I didn't care that I was related to Sirius Black because this was my father's name, and Burke because it was my mother's, but what's the point now? Mum's changing it because that name means nothing but pain for her, so who will I keep the name for? The men and women who abandoned their own flesh and blood because she had a baby without having a ring first? I don't know, it just seems kind of pointless now."
"Plus," she added "I fought so hard for that name, but after everything that happened this year, it just seems like a worthless cause, I mean, why would I care about something as trivial as a name when I have all these other, way more important things to worry about? Also, we'll be the only Blacks –the ones that hold the name anyway- so I won't be judged based on someone else."
Pansy shrugged "You're overreacting, it's just a name."
She was right. It was just a name, and a name only has as much power as you allow it to.
She shook her head "Anyway," Arlene's returned with a vengeance "on more important news, we're moving into the Black Manor, in Berkshire. Also dad and Sirius are getting checked out from the hospital tomorrow, mum says they'll be registered as animagi, and the Ministry's issuing a public apology, Peter's trial is next week , what else? Oh and she wants me to give this owl to Ron. Apology gift for sending his rat to prison I guess."
"Why are they giving Pettigrew a trial?" Questioned Draco "I mean, wasn't your mother publicly ostracized for years for demanding Black get one"
Theo threw his legs back up on Draco's and lit another cigarette "Ministry's corrupt," he announced "we should know, our parents work there."
"At least it's a happy ending." Shrugged Pansy, snatching away the cigarette and ignoring his protests as she took a drag "Flint's getting recruited for Puddlemere, Astoria's dating that fifth year from Ravenclaw, my parents are letting me spend the entire summer with the Malfoys-"
"In hopes of you two realising you're in love and are soulmates of course." Theo teased.
Draco rolled his eyes "She's right though, Miles and Peggy are dating, Jade says she's going to muggle collage which I find stupid but whatever, Arlene's finally broken off her friendship with that annoying Hufflepuff girl-"
"I don't know who any of these people are." Pansy dismissed in a bored tone.
"Our quidditch team? And me and Sage are still friends by the way just because we don't have the same friend group and are in different social circles doesn't mean that-"
"Also Theo's deeply deranged father agreed that he come over as well -not the whole summer though," Draco continued, ignoring them both "And I don't suppose Blaise's mum would have an issue with it, Arlene yours won't mind would she?"
"I suppose not-"
"Perfect!" We'll have a huge party then, firewiskey and everything,-"
"Alright!" Arlene interrupted "as much as I would love to talk about everyone's happy endings and whatever this" she gestured at Draco who had spontaneously planned out their entire summer "is, unfortunately I do have to give this to Ron. Bummer."
She grabbed the owl and left them to their own devices, ignoring Theo's "You just want to go make out with Granger." Which was not necessarily untrue.
Pansy was right though, about happy endings. It wasn't an ending per se, since life has only one true beginning and one true ending, and she was sure that that year wasn't the first nor last time that any of them would experience heartache, but it would have to do for now.
And Arlene truly was happy, not just for herself, but for Ron who's finally getting a proper pet, for Neville who was finally going to stop struggling in class because he was finally getting a new wand, for Harry who was finally getting a parent figure and for Lupin who's finally not going to be alone anymore, for every single classmate who got that A they wanted and every first year who got the Chocolate frog card they hoped for.
She knocked on Hermione's compartment and felt her heart melt when the other girl smiled at her. Because maybe there were bad things too, there always was, Theo's dad was still a git, her mum's side of the family were still assholes, Harry was still living with his terrible aunt and Hermione was keeping the relationship secret from her parents, and maybe it wasn't a happy ending at all and it was just Arlene that decided to focus on the good things.
But it had been a long, long year, she figured she deserved that much.