Warning#1:Trash Work
Warning#2:Suicidal Mentions
Warning#3:I have no idea what my hand is typing
Song#1:For the love of a daughter (Lyrics changed)
Artist:Demi Lovato (Thanks to JosephineNP6 for telling me the artist.😊)
Song #2:Lacie Melody
Artist:?
Anime:Pandora Hearts
Jiang Cheng kissed the foreheads of his two years old twins, who can suprisingly talk already though kinda sloppy (damn i want that), as they sleep. It was already past midnight, yet the older Jiang can't seem to feel sleepiness. He wants to return to the pavillion where he sulked earlier but can't because of his twins. Who knows, maybe they'll burst out crying again.
He heaved a heavy sigh and laid next to the twins and closed his eyes. As much as he wants his twins to grow up with their real father, he just can't. Given the fact that their father is currently in seclusion and no one is allowed to disturb him. Not even the mother of his children.
(Song#1)-Start
Four years old
With my back to the door
All I could hear
Was the family war
For these past two years, Jiang Cheng didn't do anything but to love his twins. Carried them in his arms when his own father doesn't even carry him when he was still young. Played with them when his own sister can't play with him because Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan won't allow it. Praise them for little things that they achieve when his own mother only brings him down if his achievement isn't that big to be shown off. After all, all his mother see is the outcome and not the efforts. All his sister and father sees is 'A-xian'. But what about 'A-cheng'? Did they still remember him?
Your selfish hands
Always expecting more
Am I your child?
Or jut a charity award?
Jiang Cheng's father immediately held Wei Wuxian in his arms, yet Jiang Cheng? Jiang Fengmian only carried him less than five time. LESS than five times. He can't even remember a time where his father held his hand or ruffled his hair. Nor can he remember a time where his father hugged him. But he did remember this three times his father hurted him.
You have a hollowed out heart but it's heavy in your chest
I tried so hard to fight it but it's hopeless
Hopeless
You're hopeless
The first time was when Jiang Cheng was still a kid of five years. He accidentally tore his father's documents. Jiang Cheng apologized. He did. He got the forgiveness he wanted but with a additional slap.
Oh father, please father
I'd love to leave you alone but I can't let you go
Oh father, please father
Put your favoritism down for the love of your own son
The second time was when he shooed Wei Wuxian out of his room. One of the reasons he was forced to look for his adoptive brother was because his father literally pulled his hair while ordering his child to go and look for his adoptive son. And as a child, what can he do?
It's been five years
Since we've spoken last
The third time was when he left Wei Wuxian in the cave of the Turtoise of Carnage to get reinceforments. Even if he just woke up after he collapsed from exhaustion, starvation and constant bleeding, his father punched him in the face. How ironic. He and his father barely even conversed for years except for the formal greetings and he just punched him.
And you can't take back
What we never had
Why? Why does his father even afforded to hit him yet took care of Wei Wuxian with the outmost care and love he has? Was he really that worthless?
Oh, I can be manipulated only so many times
He stared at Jiang Xuan. His very energetic child who looks like he has the energy of the whole world inside him. Jiang Xuan is a little enthusiastic child who likes to cling onto his mother's legs. He always also wanted to hold his older brother's hand and would walk wherever his big brothers wants to walk. But the best part of Jiang Cheng's youngest baby boy is his smile. Jiang Xuan face is near of his father, Lan Xichen, along with his ethereal smiles and his locks.
Lan Ruon, his stone-faced son, looks like Lan Wangji who he really wants to punch. Lan Ruon rarely smiles, but if he's with his 'A-niang' or brother, he would not hesitate to show a bright smile. His face is near of Jiang Cheng's and has Jiang Cheng's nature to not smile, but overall, the twins still looks the same.
Before even "I Love You"
Starts to sound like a lie
He was happy for his little family. But he's longing for the father of the twins. He's longing for Lan Xichen. He wants to see him again. Embrace him again. Kiss him again. Jiang Cheng shook his head to dismiss the thought that would surely kill him in no time. But in this kind of state, he can't do anything but to let the blood drip again.
"Jiang Yue. Are you outside?" He called out for his right-hand man quietly which was immediately replied with a;
"Yes, Sect leader. Is there anything i can do for you?"
"Guard the twins for a moment. I want to go somewhere." He said and stood up and wore a purple silked robe that has his sect's emblem.
"Yes, Sect leader." Came the response of Jiang Yue.
You have a hollowed out heart but it's heavy in your chest
Jiang Cheng walked his way to a secluded part of Lotus Pier. A place where he and Lan Xichen only knows.
His shoes tapped on the rock made path as tears finally started to fall again.
With Sandu in hand, he looked up as a pavillion was made in view. This is where he spends his time when he wants to be alone.
And when he wants to cut his wrist to his heart's delight.
He sat on the chair and took sandu out of it's scabbard.
I tried so hard to fight it but it's hopeless
Hopeless
Blood stained the wooden table and Sandu's clear blade. The sword was shaking nonstop when his master removes it from his (JC) wrist. As if Sandu has life, he wants to get out of Jiang Cheng's grasp to prevent his master from cutting.
In the dark skies of the night, a man in white flew on his sword in a very fast pace. The blue glare that the sword emits gets brighter and brighter as Lan Xichen fasten the pace of Shouyue.
'It has been two years now, Lan Xichen. And i think you have to know this now. Who cares if Wanyin gets mad at me but your nice yet irritating skull needs to know this now. Wanyin has children now. And you are the father of the two. Wanyin gave birth to them with the blessing of the Birth god Tang ShengMian.
It is either you'll take responsibility to the twins or i'll cut your fingers off every time you approach my younger sworn brother. All you have to do is to decide. Just decide.
-Nie Huaisang
P.S.-I fcking hate you from flesh to atoms.
He has tons and tons of questions. Jiang Cheng got pregnant? And the father is Lan Xichen? Jiang Cheng is Nie Huaisang's younger sworn brother?(This ain't a true fact, ok?) Does Jin Ling know? Does his uncle know? His brother? His brother in law? His-oh no. Wait. Wei Wuxian. Right.
Lan Xichen gritred his teeth as he remembered Wei Wuxian. What is he supposed to tell his lover's adoptive older brother?
"You're hopeless." Lan Xichen refered to hiself. He is really hopeless. What if Jiang Cheng hates him now? Does he even have rights to their Twins? He still wants to marry Jiang Cheng. What now?
(Song#1)-End
This book is getting worser chapter by chapter.
Lan Xichen finally saw the residence of the YunmengJiang sect. He stopped in midair and faced the two Jiang disciples who were guarding it.
"I'm here to visit Sect leader Jiang." He informed the two shocked disciples with a bright smile.
"A-ah. Zewu-Jun! We're very sorry, Zewu-Jun, but our clan leader is currently asleep with the young masters." Lan Xichen felt his heart itch in a funny way when he heard about the young masters.
"This is something urgent. Please." Lan Xichen pleaded his bright smile earlier vanished as he squinted his eyes and furrowed his brows.
Lan Xichen looked pathetic. It looks like he just lost his wife or something. But he did. He did lost his wife two years ago and now he is given a chance to get Jiang Cheng back. He will get him back no matter what.
The two disciples looked at each other before heaving a heavy sigh. They nodded at the Lan sect leader and one of then said;
"Zewu-Jun, go behind the Lotus Pier. There is a secluded area around there and a pavillion. If you don't see our Clan leader in his room, then you can find him there." The both of them know about the secluded area. They saw Jiang Cheng walking there while crying.
"Also, Zewu-Jun." Lan Xichen who was about to leave stopped again and he faced the two.
"Please don't hurt our Clan leader again. Sect leader was more than willing to train us during his pregnancy then what? We'll let him get hurt again? We've seen enough with his crying face already. Please don't hurt him again." They just want to protect their Sect leader and they will do it. Even if it means to disrespect another Sect leader. And in that moment, Lan Xichen realized something. He is hated.
He is hated by Nie Huaisang. Probably hated by Wei Wuxian. And hated by the whole Jiang sect.
What if Jiang Cheng hates him as well? He can't do anything else other than to nod and fly away.
(Song#2)-Start
Every time you kissed me
I trembled like a child
Shouyue's blade made a ear deafening clash to the ground as the owner stood still. Not moving. Eyes fixed at the man sitting in the pavillion. Hands balled into fists when he saw the blood. When he heard about the secluded area that he knew very well, his guts started to tell him to go there.
Jiang Cheng's sword, for some reason, flew out of his hand and clashed to the ground meters away from him.
The Jiang stared at the Lan. The Lan who took his heart. Who took his virginity. The Lan he hasn't seen for two years.
Gathering the roses
We sang for the hope
"Lan Xichen. What are you doing here?" Jiang Cheng tried to cover his wrists, but what good will it bring when the blood splashed on the table says enough than a person can ever explain?
"Wan..yin.Wanyin!!" Lan Xichen's voice echoed through the area as he shouted and approached the Jiang.
"What are you even doing?! I thought i told you stop already?!" Lan Xichen yelled as he abruptly held the Jiang's shoulders.
"We have talked about this already, right?" The smile on Lan Xichen's ethereal face was gone, replaced with knitted eyebrows and eyes squinted in worry.
"Jiang Wanyin!" Lan Xichen yelled when he saw that Jiang Cheng seems to be not minding him.
Your very voice is in my heartbeat
Sweeter than my dream
"I feel alone." Jiang Cheng muttered in a low voice but since Lan Xichen has good hearing sense, he heard it.
Alone. Alone is the root of loneliness. Was Jiang Cheng feeling lonely all this time? Was Jiang Cheng feeling lonely without Lan Xichen?
"I feel like no one loves me." Tears started to stream down Jiang Cheng's cheek as he let out a sob.
After all, Jiang Cheng thought that only Lan Xichen loves him. Then Lan Xichen left him to mourn for someone, of course he'll feel like no one loves him.
"No one needs me." His voice broke as Lan Xichen hugged him tight.
We were there in
Everlasting bloom
"Wanyin. Hush, my love. Hush. Please." Lan Xichen pleaded as he held the Jiang.
"You left me! You abandoned me! You-did you even loved me?" Jiang Cheng cried, the last part almost sounded like a whisper.
"Wanyin! Of course i love you! Why would you doubt my love for you?" Lan Xichen asked, irritation laced in his voice.
"Because you chose him! You chose Jin Guangyao! You didn't even thought about me!" Sometimes, the man in the relationship also needs to break down. Also needs to cry. Also needs to weep. But you don't have to do it alone. Your lover is there. What is the use of your lover if you can't lean on them even a bit?
"You threw me out!" Jiang Cheng buried his face in the Lan's chest. The mightiest person, had the hardest experience in life. And that's true.
Roses die,
The secret is inside the pain
"Wanyin. I know that i threw you out. I know that i abandoned you. But i just wanted to protect you. Wanyin, i killed my own sworn brother, i was afraid that i might kill you as well." Lan Xichen started to explain hiself.
"I know that i wouldn't have the courage to kill you, but that's the same thing i said to Meng Yao but look at what i did. I killed him. With my own hands. My own sword. What if i bring myself to kill you as well?" Lan Xichen kissed the Jiang's forehead.
"I know you have felt lonely, but please let me fill that loneliness. I need you, A-yin. A-yin, i love you. I love you more than anything else. Please. Please forgive me." Lan Xichen kneeled on his knees, head touching the ground. Ah, how embarassing. The dignified Zewu-jun kowtowing to someone. But if you really love someone, you can throw away your pride for them.
Jiang Cheng stared at his Lan with wide eyes. Why is he kowtowing to Jiang Cheng? Isn't explaining enough? If you want to be forgiven by the one you love, you have to prove yourself to them. A simple sorry will not fix any problem. Kneel infront of them in the middle of the crowd. Kiss their feet if needed. Even a hug can solve it. The tiniest actions can change a person's mind. All you need is to be sincere. Being sincere is enough to prove yourself.
Winds are high up on the hill
I cannot hear you
"Huan. Please stand." Jiang Cheng said to the kowtowing Lan but the Lan didn't buldge.
"Lan Huan stand up!" He cried to Lan Xichen. But the Lan stayed still, the tears in Jiang Cheng's face did not ceased to stop from flowing.
"Why are you even kowtowing?! I said that i'll wait for you! I said that i'll wait till you come out! So why are you even apologizing?! Lan Xichen!" Jiang Cheng gripped his robes as tears fell down his beautiful face.
"Because i hurted you, Cheng. I hurted you. Even if you said that you'll wait, i still hurted you. I made you cry. And i ask for your forgiveness. I'm sorry." Lan Xichen said as tears also started to fall from his eyes. During his seclusion, all he held as the rope of hope was his beloved. He had hope to what Jiang Cheng said.
"You have been forgiven. I forgive you. I accept your apology. Please. Stand up." Jiang Cheng's voice is hoarse. His wrist is also numbing from the pain of his cuts.
Lan Xichen stood up and looked at his Jiang with teary eyes.
"Come and hold me close
I'm shivering cold in the heart of rain." Jiang Cheng said to the Lan and Lan Xichen approached him.
Lan Xichen snaked one arm to the Jiang's waist as the other landed on the Jiang's head, pulling him closer to him.
Jiang Cheng buried his face to the Lan's chest as his tears stained it and his blood stained the pure white robes.
Darkness fall
I'm calling for the dawn
"Hush my Wanyin. Hush." Lan Xichen comforted Jiang Cheng as he whispered soothing words of assurance to the Jiang.
After a while, both of them calmed down.
"Shall we return? We still need to attend your cuts." Lan Xichen asked with care as the Jiang nodded. Shouyue and Sandu, who landed harshly on the ground earlier(Poor swords. Only if they can talk they would have already complained to their masters.) Was commanded to fly back to their masters.
Lan Xichen smiled gently and scooped Jiang Cheng to his arms to bridal-carry him.
"Wha-hey!" Jiang Cheng exclaimed but let the Lan carry him. He likes it anyways.
Silver dishes for the memories
For days gone by
"A-yin." Lan Xichen called out to his lover as the Jiang hummed in response.
"Does the twins have their courtesy names yet? I want to name them RuoFa and XioaFeng if it's ok." Lan Xichen said as the Jiang chuckled.
"Sucks to be you. That's their courtesy names. Elder Lan knew what you wanted to name your children." Jiang Cheng smiled when he saw Lan Xichen's face light up.
"Thank you, A-yin." The Lan said and nuzzled his head to the Jiang's.
Singing for the promises
Tommorow may bring
"A-yin. Listen to me. I'm never leaving you again. Never." Lan Xichen said and kissed the Jiang's forehead as they sat on the chair of Jiang Cheng's outer chamber.
"Really?" Jiang Cheng smiled.
"Yes."
Two lips met. Tongues embraced each other as the bodies of the owners embraced one another as well.
Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng kissed like there is no longer tomorrow. Lan Xichen sucked Jiang Cheng's tongue that caused the Jiang to moan.
"Huan." Jiang Cheng breathed and pushed Lan Xichen slightly away.
"The kids are inside the inner chamber. I don't want them to hear us." Jiang Cheng panted.
Lan Xichen chuckled and brushed the Jiang's hair that is down.
"Alright, alright. But can we just stay like this? I missed you. So much." Lan Xichen kissed Jiang Cheng's ear.
"Yes. We can. I missed you too."
And the two shared their goodnight.
I harbour all the old affection
Roses of the past
Two kids slighlty poked their heads out the door to look at their A-niang who is sleeping in the arms of a man wearing the same clothes as Lan Ruon in a floor with a matress.
"A-niang?" Jiang Xuan called out.
"A-niang." Lan Ruon also said and pulled his younger brother's hands and lead them to the two sleeping males. They snuggled in between them which leads them to be hugged by Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng.
"A-die." Lan Ruon silently said as pointed his chubby finger at Lan Xichen.
"A-die? A-die!" Jiang Xuan also silently whispered and both made themselves comfortable in the arms of their parents.
Darkness falls
And summer will be gone
Jiang Yue stared at the sleeping family sleeping in the ground.
This is a dream come true. Not just for him(JY) and his Sect leader but also for the whole Jiang and Lan sect. Finally, both sect will have their Madam. Though that madam is man. Well atleast he gave birth so yeah, a madam.
And you can guess who is the Madam.
Joys of the daylight
Shadows of starlight
Everything was sweet by your side
My love
"The bed exists but they chose to sleep on the floor. I'm not taking blame when the four of you gets a stiff neck in the morning." Jiang Yue blew out air as he walked away.
Ruby tears has come to me
For your last word
I'm just here singing my song of woe
Waiting for you,
My love
Love knows no gender. No matter what your gender is, when love hits you, not even words can go and defend your sexuality.
When you love, you can forgive. But what if you can't? It means that you can't bring yourself to love and grasp the consequence of loving.
'Where there is love, there is pain.' Is what they say. And that is true. For pain is the consequence of loving.
But no matter the pain, even if it feels like you are being skinned alive, grasp it. Grasp it with all your might and accept it, for the reward of overcoming such pain is worth it.
Now let my happines sing inside my dreams
'If you trip,
There will be someone to lend a hand.
If you cry,
There will be someone to wipe your tears.
If you fall,
There will be someone to catch you.
There is someone for you, although you can't see them, they're just there. Just look behind your shoulders, and you'll see them. And i'll be there as well.'
Jiang Cheng knew that and the meaning of Nie Huaisang's words. And so he opened his eyes and saw Lan Xichen.
Not just Lan Xichen.
He saw his sons with Lan Xichen.
And then he saw his family.
The pain was worth it.
And we can also see the future Madam Lan and Madam Jiang gently named 'Jiang Cheng'. Poor thing, he was the Master of Lotus Pier, yet he ended up to become the Madam. Poor thing.
A/N:The almighty update has finally come!!! Hooray! The next chapter will be the last chapter i think. And yes, the story is about to end. But don't worry, i'm going to make a new Xicheng fanfic once this os over. Haha!
The part where i potrayed JC's childhood is nor true ok? It's just made up.I hope you enjoyed today's chapter my dears! Stay safe always! Author loves you!