someone asked what Kane looks like. For me it goes from Tony Goldwyn to Chris Evans but Tony would be the main one. but that's simply what helps me write, so see whoever you want ☺️.
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"Nicole can you sit down please," Kane interrupted me.
"Music," I tapered off to finish my thought. Kane sighed and moved all his piles to the side before waving two fingers towards him, as I stood behind him.
"Nicole," he started. "Clover, can you sit down for me please," Kane asked. I had a feeling he wouldn't ask again.
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"Could I get food," I asked him, slowly moving each foot behind the other as I walked back towards the pantry.
"Poptarts are hardly food now are they, Clover," he mocks me. However he stays silent so I take this opportunity to get a pack of Poptarts, much to his protest showed in a sigh.
Opting on eating them as they came, I hesitantly sat down across from him at the table as Kane rubbed the bridge of his nose. While his eyes were sealed shut in discomfort, I took this opportunity to study his face. Kane's bone structure was so strong and jarring. His face wasn't the most open to look at or wasn't necessarily comforting at all. If you looked at Kane while he was caught off guard, you'd think he was angry, and I guess that was something we had in common. But my face was cold and unemotional, Kane's face was nothing more than a man you didn't want to piss off. Me? It didn't matter what you did, I would seem irritated either way. Which wasn't necessarily untrue.
"I'm sorry," he breaks my thought. "I bark at you to sit down, only to make you wait," he chuckled at himself. "Also my frustration isn't directed at you, it's just the work. I got used to having that week off too quickly," Kane explained. I nodded in silence, my slim fingers reaching into the package of Wild Tropical Blast Poptarts.
"Just use us as an excuse to take more days off," I lightheartedly joked as a suggestion. It worked as Kane let out a stressed filled chuckle.
"That's good, that's good. I'm sure there's a lot I could use you for," he said quietly.
My eyes shot up while his head was still down, eyes shut. The wrinkles between his eyebrows went away with his laughter but I was simply taken aback. I was close to asking him to repeat himself before he spoke.
"You," he says before crossing his arms on the table and raising his head up to look at me.
"Me," I questioned as my voice raised slightly at the end. I can't help but to feel as if I pissed him off since the energy rolling off of him was not pleasant and I still didn't know what this conversation was about.
"Yeah you, your conversation with lover boy this morning. How did it go," he asked me nonchalantly. It was as if he were my friend or my dad, meddling in his teenage daughters life. I didn't want that, I didn't want that from Kane. No part of me wanted Kane to be my father. Maybe Josh wanted that but no part of me ached for a father, not from Kane. Maybe for other things or maybe not.
"We're going to the record store on Monday at 5," I tell him quietly, discarding my thoughts. Kane smiles to himself as if he knows something I don't.
"What," I said somewhat scared but his smile only got wider as my eyes started to pop out of my head. "You're going on a date," he laughed as he jerked his chin in my direction. He was mocking me. As if the idea of me going on a date with a boy was unfathomable. And with a boy, it honestly was. But he didn't know that. So to him, me going on a date was simply unfathomable.
"You act as if I can't get asked out on dates," I scoffed. Kane laughed quietly and shook his head. "No no, you can. I'm sure you can get any boy you want, I just didn't think they would get you. Or that he would get you," he continued to laugh.
"I have no idea what you mean by that, Kane."
I wasn't offended by it and I'm sure he picked up that I wasn't. I just didn't know where he got it from. It was true, that boys couldn't get me and that Anthony of all boys wouldn't get me, but when did Kane pick up on that. Why did Kane think that because I was sure, or maybe hoping, we had different reasonings.
"I don't know, Nicole," Kane shook his head. He briefly made eye contact with me before he looked away to collect his thoughts. "You're just so different from them. I mean it's obvious you are, considering what you said this morning," he rambles, half ass explaining himself.
"What did I say this morning" I questioned, my teeth biting at my bottom lip rather impatiently.
"I don't know, you tell me," his tone got darker as he spoke.
"That I'm 'rather confident'" I repeated. Kane smirked to himself as he readjusted the ring on his finger. "That's the one," he said as I continued to pick off my poptart.
"I don't understand your obsession with those things," Kane says as he points to the poptarts in my hand. Upon mention of them, I realized I wasn't really hungry but eating out of nerves and boredom, and to my knowledge, Kane had never had a poptart. I pointed the package of pastries towards him and he kindly accepted, taking the foil wrapped poptarts out of my hands. I wasn't going to finish them anyways.
"What are your plans for the future," he asked, making mindless small talk, something he knew I hated.
"Kane," I said annoyed. His eyebrows raised as he picked at the poptarts. "I know, I know. But this isn't small talk, alright," he smiled at me from across the table.
"I'm just trying to feel you out better, I haven't really been able to catch up with you in certain areas," he admitted and he was right.
I rolled my eyes and gave in. It wasn't often I let someone pick my brain and I don't even think Josh knew what I wanted to do as a career.
"I don't know, I've always been good with my words," I mentioned. Kane hummed in agreement, already done with the half of the poptart I started and was starting to eat at the second one in the package. I guess he got it now.
"So I was thinking English teacher," I threw out as I watched him enjoy the pastry. His head shot up as his face was smeared with confusion, a displeasured sound coming from his mouth.
I was waiting for that, everyone made that face or that sound. Everyone looked down on teachers.
"The pay, Clover," he said. His body turned away from me upon my announcement of future plans, legs crossed and hunched away in pure confusion.
His legs uncrossed as he swiveled in his chair toward me once more, hands facing me and moving ever so slightly as he spoke.
"Sweetheart, did you ever consider being too good for that job? I mean, youre a smart ass, so I know that's in your vocabulary," Kane said nonchalantly as my mouth was left open wide in shock.
"I'm the smart ass," I thought aloud.
"It's not like you try to hide your narcissism Nicole. I'm sure your favorite type of glass is clean and reflective," he added on.
"Nice one," I shot back. He had a way with being flattering and offensive at the same time.
"No really, babygirl, you need to think about that," my heart rate quickened for a few moments before returning to normal. "You know you could go further than that. I don't know Clove, I thought you would do something a bit more," he thought for a second. "Aggressive," he phrased as a question.
"No one is too good to be a teacher. They're important to society, extremely important," I fought back. How insulting...
"If you're so good with your words, which you are, why not be a lawyer? You love to argue," he slightly judged. I had to hold back a 'fuck you' from slipping off of my tongue. It would've been a friendly 'fuck you,' like a love tap, but still a 'fuck you.'
I open my mouth only to close it, which caused him to look down at my lips. His stare fluttered back and forth from his or my poptarts to my lips. In this silence, it made me rather insecure that there was something there, causing me to lick my lips.
Kane shakes his head and moves his eyes back to his hands. "There's nothing there," the corners of his lips barely tugging into a smile. "I apologize," he says before standing up to throw the wrapper in the trash can and gathering his paperwork to walk into his office.
I followed him, turning on a floor light which caused him to look behind. Slightly taking in the fact that I followed him into his office, he moved his papers into files over his desk.
"What are you doing," he asked, his voice going where it does only when he's defensive. I shrugged, telling him "I felt that the conversation wasn't over." He nodded but didn't look up from his desk that he stood over.
"Joshua wants to go see mom, I'm taking him," I mention. Kane seemed pleased by this, nodding in approval. "That's good that he wants to see her. He needs to want that and I'm sure she could use some company," he commented.
His papers nearly all filed, some files completely put away, he speaks again. "It's getting rather late don't you think? And I'm sure you have books to get to before the night's end," Kane mentioned in one long breath.
"Yeah, I do," my arms now crossed over my torso. Was he trying to "dismiss" me?
"How are they," he hums after his question. "They're good, I guess," I stumbled over my words as he started to turn towards me.
Kane flashed his smile at me, his perfectly white smile before lifting his chin up and crossing his arms. His biceps jumped at this action and his forearms widened as they were pressed against each other.
"You have any recommendations for me," he seemed too cocky. I don't know if Kane mistook my kindness for friendship or something, but we weren't friends. My mother still went back to deep alcoholism after he left, fucking me over. Maybe I could see Kane as a father if he would've stayed. So no, we weren't friends. My grudges couldn't keep me from feeling small in the presence of his smile, but I masked it.
I raised an eyebrow, mimicking his smile, and slowly shook my head. "I don't think it would be anything you'd enjoy," I said before turning on my heel and letting out a breath I didn't think I was holding.
I took quick and long steps to my room, way too many questions floating around in my head to keep conversing with Kane in this way. I closed the blinds in my room as it was now pitch black outside and jumped into my bed, hastily pulling the covers over myself. I laid on my side and closed my eyes as I tried to scare off the questions that roamed inside my brain.
But I had to admit as I laid in this dark room on my bed, I didn't want Kane as a father, I was completely sure about that. But an important aspect to life, one I've mastered, would be introspection, having conversations with yourself. There was this one conversation I didn't want to have, I don't even think would let myself mention that this was a conversation. What did I want from Kane? I got giddy and excited about this question. Which meant there was no way I was going to lie to myself like a fucking idiot and try saying I didn't want something from him.
Kane Jackson was like a Roman god, one of their statues. His skin was too tan and his being too rough to be described as the graceful Greeks. Everything about Kane, his nose, his chin, his arms, his legs, his body in general was too rough and rigid to be Greek. He was smart, successful, kind, and mature. That's all I wanted, was someone to be smart and mature, he was more than good enough. And, fuck, was he attractive.
I wanted to feel for myself, not just look with my eyes, to determine how rigid he felt. Was touching him like touching stone? How warm was Kane and how far could his heat go? Would his warm touch seep through my clothes and somehow leave bumps on my skin? I couldn't even imagine how good my hands would feel in his hair, clenched around his t shirt.
There was no way I wasn't going to admit to myself that what I wanted from Kane was himself. I wanted Kane.
And as my mind wandered to his words, "I'm sure there's a lot I could use you for," I decided Kane Jackson was playing a dangerous game. He was so orderly, so unaware, metaphorically never looking both ways before he crossed while I loved games.
As much as I love a good slow burn, I have to pick this up. I cant do it anymore 💀💀 I need more character development for Nicole and this is just... yeah no. Hope you enjoyed.