I thought that I would wake up to birds chirping and maybe the smell of bacon but that's not quite how it happened. I was the last one up and instead of politely waking me the guys thought it would be funny to blast an air horn in the tent. I'm one for practical jokes and all but they're significantly less funny when you're the victim. I woke up in a frenzy, startled and scared, still thinking I was asleep.
"You should have seen the look on your face man," Nico said, "Oh wait I recorded the whole thing and have it right here!"
To make matters worse the guys had spilled water on my crotch and strategically filmed only my upper body until I stood up. So basically they had a video of me peeing my pants. This time I didn't even fight them, it was on Twitter within minutes. The last video had blown up, not quite viral but close, so maybe this one would help the crews Twitter following.
"What time is it, I feel like we just went to bed," I complained as the makings of a headache started to set in.
"It's 9:15, I have to drop you guys off and be ready for church at 11:30" Jason explained.
We packed up camp in 15 minutes, said sorry to the tree that we had abused the previous night, and were on our way. The hour trip back seemed longer than the trip there, probably because we rode in sleepy silence. We were slightly concerned about our safety, I think that Jason was still riding a buzz from last night. However, nobody else was well enough to take his place so we buckled up and hoped for the best.
Luckily we made it back to our cars safely and went our separate ways, saying our goodbyes. It was only 10:20 in the morning but my car was already a human-sized oven. I opened the door and was greeted by a rush of hot sticky air. I toughed it out and got in, cranking up the AC to the max. I sat in the car for a while as the air morphed from blisteringly hot to uncomfortably cold. Gotta love this Floridian weather I muttered to myself.
I sat there groaning for a while mentally thinking of what I was going to do today. All my friends were either tied up with their family and church or had to work. My body was beat, the last three days had been eventful and I was due for a chill day. After some quick research, I decided to hit the beach. I had found a bookstore where I could pick up some reading material for the afternoon. There was even supposed to be a food truck competition or something by the beach in a few hours. My day was planned, now it was time to execute.
Lola had to work again today but said her parents were gone and I could stop by and shower. I hadn't seen her in a day and a half and was kind of missing her but it looked like I would have to wait a little while longer. I arrived at her house and entered through the unlocked backdoor. I hopped downstairs and got the shower going. After picking out my clothes I got in the already warm shower and washed off all of the grease from the previous day.
I got out of the shower feeling clean for the first time in many, many hours. I threw on a towel and made my way upstairs. I was sifting through the fridge looking for some OJ when I got a surprise. From behind the fridge, Lola's mom emerged wearing very little clothing herself. A silk robe was draped over her body and by the way she hugged herself there was nothing else on underneath. I don't know who was more surprised to see who. We stood there for what seemed like forever, both speechless and embarrassed. She broke the silence.
"L-Lu-Luke what are you doing here?" she stammered.
"Oh, uh, I, Lola said I could wash up and that nobody was home, I'm sorry this is completely inappropriate," I said, my cheeks bright red. I was struggling to make eye contact.
"Oh no worries, I got the day off so I'm just hanging around the house, and treating myself. I've already had a couple of glasses of wine, would you like one?" She asked as she helped herself to another generous pour.
"Uh no, no thank you," I said, "thank you for the offer but I have to drive to the beach."
"That's too bad you're missing out," she said rather nonchalantly, not nearly as phased as me by the whole affair.
I hustled downstairs forgetting my glass of orange juice. I was fully weirded out. Don't think about it I kept telling myself as I threw on some board shorts and a tank. I gingerly walked back up the stairs hoping Pam had moved on to a different room. Nope, she sat exactly where I had left her, it almost seemed like she was waiting for me.
"Oh you're leaving already?" she asked.
"Yeah, I think I'm just going to go to the beach and read for a little" I responded.
"Well take some of this wine to go then, it's really quite good" she offered sticking out her glass to offer me a little taste.
It was quite good and who was I to turn down free alcohol. I gave in to her wishes with a soft shoulder shrug and she excitedly retrieved a water bottle from the cabinet. After topping it off she handed it to me with an outstretched arm. I accepted, thanking her and wishing her a relaxing day.
"Alright have a fun day Luke" she yelled as I closed the door.
I wasn't quite sure what to think so I just didn't. I cranked the music up and let my mind wander. My phone's GPS brought me up to a neat little local book shop. I strolled into the store unsure of what I was looking for. Over the years I had read a fair amount of books but never really found a niche. I power walked through the store sifting through the nonfiction, fiction, and biography section, picking one book from each.
My total came to $23.49 for the three books, not bad I thought to myself. I had gotten an informative book on the evolution of architecture, a post-apocalyptic novel, and the autobiography of Nikola Tesla. Walking out of the book store I felt pretty good about my day. The beach was only a block or two away so I decided to just walk it.
As I approached I could smell the food trucks, it was slightly overpowering, all the different types of food smelting together and creating a very strong and appetizing scent. I surveyed each truck carefully and finally settled on an Americana truck specializing in burger sliders. Now only did it sound appetizing but it had the longest line so I was hoping that its popularity was reflective of the quality of the food.
"Can I get the mini pounder sliders please?" I asked a big burly looking man as I peered over the truck counter like a little kid in a candy shop.
"No problem, would you like those fully loaded?" He asked in a deep southern accent.
"Oh, you know it," I said, giving him a sly smile.
"Coming right up bossman," he responded as we swapped cash for order receipt.
The man dinged the little bell when my sliders were done and I went up and eagerly grabbed them with a sort of food-induced lust. They had me drooling before I even bit into them. The patties were stuffed with cheese and it oozed out of the sides. They were each topped with generous slices of bacon, fried onion rings, jalapeños, fries, and doused in queso. They looked so good I didn't want to ruin them by eating them.
I eventually caved and was met with what could quite possibly be the best burger I've ever had in my short life. My mouth was flavor blasted, it could barely contain itself. The burgers didn't last long and after shoving them down I was sidelined for a few seconds with some aching heartburn. Remembering I had some of Pam's wine I decided to clear my pallet with a large gulp. It was during my time of pain and recovery that I noticed something posted on the trucks bulletin.
There was an ad by a Soundcloud rapper for a featured artist. Despite my average rapping and singing abilities I have always wanted to be a part of a rap song. I snapped a picture and set a reminder in my phone to remind me to contact the guy.
After a couple of swigs of the wine, I had finally gotten over my heartburn and walked over to the beach where I found a spot to set up camp. The wine had treated me well but it wasn't going to last me the afternoon and once I sat down I didn't intend to move for a while. I decided to give the fake ID a second trial run, craving some cold beer. I made my way to the closest snack shack and looked at their beer selection. I had no idea what I was doing but the Corona commercials with "find your beach" slogan kept popping up in my head. I walked out of the shack with a couple of coronas in hand and a smile on my face.
"I can't believe that worked" I muttered under my breath, surprised that the first time it worked hadn't just been a lucky fluke.
I returned to my spot on the beach, knocked down a brewski, put some earbuds in and laid back soaking up the sun. The sun was warm against my face but comfortably so. The blanket of warmth was occasionally interrupted by a cool breeze and created the perfect conditions for a light nap. After fighting back my drooping eyelids I finally gave way and allowed myself to slip into a sun dazed sleep.