Spencer ||
It's now been a week, almost two, since Luke and I last saw each other. He has not been to school and it doesn't help that me or my friends don't have any contact with him anyway.
I've been worried sick about him, and my emotions are going all over my place. One minute I'll be crying my eyes out and the next I'm screaming and wanting to rip his head off.
I've been a mess without him, I feel like there is a hole in my heart that only he could fill. And it's tearing me apart.
It is now Monday night and I had just finished my homework. I was about to go down stairs to go get something to eat, when my phone lighting up stopped me. It was a text from Ashton.
From Ash:
Hey me, Michael, Joanna and my other friend are going out to eat or something, wanna come? Xx
I haven't been out of this house since last weekend, the weekend after Luke and I kissed. I just haven't felt up to anything that doesn't involve me laying around sulking.
To Ash:
I don't know Ash, I don't really feel up to it.
In an instant I was texted back.
From Ash:
You haven't been out since that asshole hurt you, you need to get out of your booger filled room and just have fun.
From Ash:
It will make you feel better.
From Ash:
I'll buy.
From Ash:
Plus I miss you and I've been sad ever since you've been sad, so we both need this. :)
From Ash:
:-----)
To Ash:
Fine!
From Ash:
Great, pick you up in 30 minutes. Love you!!!
I texted him back with a quick love you too and headed to tell my mom the plans.
I started getting ready and I actually felt like actually get ready this time. I had something building up inside of me, I was just probably excited I was finally getting out of my house.
I put on some eyeliner and some blush, very rare, I know. Then I just tousled my hair to give it more volume.
I picked out a simple black tank top and matched it with my favorite pants which were red and puffy. And topped it off with a chic plaid jacket in case if gets cold tonight.
I was kinda excited and I hoped it went as planned.
Ashton texted me alerting me he was here. I kissed my mom and brother goodbye and raced out the door.
"Hey bab- woah." Ashton stuttered.
"What?! Is it too much? That's what I thought, I'll go change." I start to climb out of his car.
"No, no, no! You look fine, I was going to tell you we were going to a nice restaurant anyway." He smiled.
I climbed back in and we drove off. The whole time we just caught up on each other and laughed as usual. We got to the restaurant and it was nice, I'm glad I had the urge to dress up.
Ashton got out running around the car to open the door for me.
"Ohhh, what a gentlemen." I say mockingly.
"Oh shut up, I'll shut it in your face just as easily." He giggles.
Ashton leads me into the restaurant where Michael, Joanna and a brown hair boy with blonde streaks were sat.
Michael and Joanna got up and gave me a hug and Ashton's friend got up to greet me.
"Oh, Spenc, this is my friend, Calum! Calum this is my best friend, Spencer." He smiled.
Calum gently took my hand and shook it giving me a shy smile which I returned right back.
I was about to go sit on the end since the only other seat was next to Calum and I figured Ashton would want sit there, that was until I was stopped by Ashton.
"Why don't you sit next to Calum?" He smiled.
I gave him a confused look which he returned with a even wider grin.
The night was going good so far, but as we got more and more into the night I noticed something strange that Ashton was doing.
We would be having a normal conversation and Ashton would somehow in any way he could relate Calum to it and basically brag about Calum to me. Calum seemed confused as well when he did this.
It wasn't until the dessert came that I realized what Ashton was doing, he was trying to set me up with Calum. I felt anger bubble up in my stomach, along with pain and sadness. I couldn't believe he was doing this. Suddenly I didn't feel like eating with the knots forming in my stomach.
"Ashton, I need to go." I mumbled.
"But dessert just got here." He pouted.
"No Ashton, we need to go." I quickly stood up thanking my friends and sending an apologetic look to Calum. I quickly ran out of the restaurant relieved when the fresh air hit me. I waited for Ashton to come out so he could unlock his car doors.
Once he did I opened the door and got in so quickly and tried to hold back the tears.
"What happened?" Ashton asked with a sad look on his face.
"Nothing, I'm fine, just please take me home." I say with a shaky voice and tears threatening to spill out.
"No, you are going to tell me-"
"Ashton please." I cut him off, not trying to come off rude but I just needed to get out of here.
The rest of the ride was silent. Which was very different from any of our others making it very uncomfortable.
We finally made to my house which seemed to take ten years. Once the car was to a complete stop, we kinda just sat there. But once again I felt like I was suffocating and needed fresh air. I quickly open the door rushing out, which Ashton did the same thing, meeting me outside on the passenger side.
"Are you going to explain to me what happened back there?" Ashton asks gripping my shoulders.
"Ashton, I don't want to talk about it."
"No you aren't leaving until you tell me what I did wrong."
"Why did you do that Ashton?" I ask with anger bubbling up. "I know what you were doing, you were trying to set me up with that Calum kid!" I shout.
"Woah, why are you yelling I don't see what I was doing wrong!" He says letting go of my shoulders.
"Ashton I'm heartbroken and you think that I want to go out and pretend like all this stuff with Luke didn't happened?! I can't do that! I'm so upset I've been literally hiding in my house for crying out loud! I can't get over it can't you see that?" I was about to finish but Ashton cut me off.
"You think I don't?! Spencer, it kills me to see you like this! I hate it so much! You think I like seeing you with your head down all the time? With no smile on your face that I love?! You think that I don't think about your happiness day in and day out?! I worry about you all the time! Seeing you sad is the worse thing I've ever experienced! You think that I don't miss you smiling everyday?! You think I like seeing you this upset?! Because I hate it! And-and I just thought if you had a night out with your friends and a sweeter boy it would make you feel better. I'm sorry I didn't know it would make things worse. I just can't see you like this anymore." Ashton whimpered.
I felt like an ass, I just yelled at my best friend when he was just trying to help. I engulfed him with a hug beginning to cry.
"Why are you crying babe? I don't know why this is bothering you so much, it shouldn't he should be nothing to you-"
"Because I love him, Ash!" I cried out.
-
After I told Ashton my confession about Luke, he understood and didn't question me. He said that he understands and if I ever need him he's there. I thanked him and give him a kiss on the cheek goodnight.
It was now Tuesday and I was sitting in my first hour after apologizing for last night to Michael and Joanna and, to my surprise Calum, I didn't even know he went here. They all accepted and we talked like nothing even happened and I love that. I was so glad Calum understood and wasn't mad at all.
I was thinking to myself how much better I feel telling Ashton my feelings towards Luke. Because not only was I admitting to someone else, but I was admitting it to myself. My thoughts were cut short when I heard my teacher say what I've been wanting and dreading to hear.
"Glad to see you back, Luke."
****
OHHHHH SHIT
Sorry for the late update, I wasn't going to but then I got this wonderful idea and decided to write it last minute, so I hope you enjoy because I'm pretty proud of this one :) love you!
And remember to leave feedback or funny comments I will read all of them I promise! xxxxx Jill