SHIZ I'M GOING TO BE LATE!
I was speeding walking down the sidewalk, my giant, brown bag slung across my body and bouncing off my hip with every step I took. My glasses were sliding down my nose and my hair was probably a mess but I could fix that once I got there. I checked my watch, trying not to spill the two crates of coffee in my hands.
8:58? OH SHRAP I HAVE TWO MINUTES
I picked up my pace, trying to bump into the least amount of people as I could while at the same time, balancing the coffee in my hands WITHOUT tripping, falling, and spilling everything over myself. I gazed up and saw the place I was rushing to get to. All of my thoughts were muddled up in my brain and I was all over the place, stressing out, and just a complete mess.
Oh my gosh, I can't blow this! This is my first day and being late is just not a good impression. What if I forgot my file? No, I got that... Omg what if I didn't bring enough coffee for everyone? Dammit I can't blow this! What if I screw up?? What if the CSI there hates me? What if-- Oh I'm here!
I gazed up at the sign.
CCPD
Okay, here we go.
2 years and 6 months ago:
I woke up to the sound of a loud beeping next to me. I slowly pried open my eyes but quickly shut them due to the bright white light shining through some light source to my right. I tried to sit up but my head started pounding. I groaned loudly and brought my hand up to my head.
"Oh! Honey, you're awake?" I heard a startled but soft, female voice coming from my left. I opened my eyes again to look at her, blinking a couple of times to adjust my eyesight. She was a nurse who looked around 30. I looked around and realized this was a hospital, based on the drab, dull, cool grey color of the walls. "You should lie down! You just woke up from a coma. We don't know if you are okay..." she rambled, trailing off in the end.
I hummed in response and rested myself back down onto the hospital bed. The nurse fiddled around with the IV bags and the equipment next to me. It was awkwardly silent and I had so many questions. I decided to ask the one that I wanted to know the answer to the most.
"What happened?" I asked quietly. The nurse froze.
"I...Uh...It's quite a lot...." she stuttered unsurely.
"Please, I have to know. My sister and Kara and Hartley and... and my boyfriend and Ronnie? What happened to them?" I asked her. "What happened...to me?" I looked at the nurse. She paused, staring at me, and sighed.
"Fine," she stated, sitting down in the chair next to me. She took a deep breath and looked at me, her eyes full of sympathy. I looked at her confused.
"Honey... you.. you and your friends were in an accident."
I tensed.
"An a-accident?" I asked her.
"Yes, an accident. Almost 2 years ago, the particle accelerator exploded."
"Wait...that's the thing my sister, Ronnie, and Hartley were building at Star Labs. Oh my god please don't tell me-"
"Your sister is fine. Her fiance, however..." she trailed off.
I teared up. Ronnie was...dead... and I wasn't there for my sister...I left her alone to cope with her pain. I felt so, so bad. I drew a shaky breath.
"The particle accelerator released dark matter and that made what we call metahumans. Basically humans with superpowers. It also created the Flash. He fights against metahumans that use their powers for bad," she explained. "The explosion killed... quite a lot of people and sadly, your sister's fiance was one of them."
"And...Tony? My boyfriend, Tony Woodward." I asked. If anything happened to him, I don't know what I would do.
"Ah, Tony Woodward. He... He died too. He was a criminal after the explosion. The Flash captured him and.. a couple of months later, he died."
"A-and... Hartley?"
"Hartley Rathaway? He's a criminal and he's in the custody of the Flash. "
I was in shock. I couldn't breathe. I was so scared. I had lost my boyfriend and my future brother in law and my best friend was a criminal. I lost the only people keeping me alive. The only person who told me that I was worth something and now he was gone. Tony was gone and Hartley was gone and it was my fault. I should have told Hartley to tell the crew about whatever he found out about the particle accelerator. I should have given him better advice. I should have told Tony to go see his sister out in Star City. I told him to stay for dinner that day and I killed him. I killed all three of them. If I had told Hartley to tell them whatever he found out, they would have left star labs and Ronnie wouldn't be dead, Tony wouldn't have become a criminal and died and... and Hartley would still be my nice, caring best friend.
"What about... what about Kara?" I asked, hesitantly.
"She... she was hit by a car...and the explosion... It killed her. I'm sorry honey," she whispered, sadness laced in her voice.
I covered my mouth in a feeble attempt at masking my sobs. Tears streamed down my face. She was gone and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I didn't get to tell her how much I loved her. I didn't get to tell her... that she was the bestest friend that I could have asked for.
"I should... I should call your sister and...uh... and the doctors... We need to run some tests on you." Uh... no, thank you.
"Please...don't call my sister... or the doctors... I feel fine. I can leave now. I'm okay." I muttered quickly, pulling the needles and wires out of my arms and getting out of the bed. I wiped the tears off my face while looking at the ground.
"No no, no honey I have to I-"
"PLEASE! I... I can't face my sister right now. I just want to disappear. I don't want to be here. Please understand. I have to go." I pleaded. She stared at me, obviously thinking hard.
"I don't know. It's not safe and-"
"Please?" I whispered, my eyes tearing up again. She took a deep breath and sighed.
"Okay. Your clothes are on that chair. And... I'll tell them you were gone by the time I got here." she said unsurely.
I breathed out in relief.
*TRIGGER WARNING!!*
"Thank you so much," I said quickly, grabbing the clothes and putting them on. It was a simple pair of white sneakers and black jeans with an oversized, dark green sweater, but it will do. I climbed out of the window and onto the tree next to it. I looked at the nurse and mouthed a thank you and she nodded back as I climbed down the tree. I jumped off the last branch and landed with a thud. I felt tired but I couldn't live like this. I just can't. I had nobody who cared about me and my sister probably hated me. I just wanted to die. Just like I did years ago. The people keeping me from it were gone now and it was my fault. My sister probably would be happy if I was gone.
I ran as fast as my feet would take me, the wind blowing my hair behind me. Soon I wouldn't have to feel the pain. Soon, I could do the thing I wanted to do years ago. Soon, I could be free.
I ran to my favorite spot. The bridge over the river that I loved going swimming in with Kara and Hartley. I stood at the edge and gripped the railing and inhaled the fresh breeze. The smell of the trees and the river. I closed my eyes. I leaned forward.
I'm sorry, Kara. I couldn't protect you. I was a horrible friend and I killed you. I should have stopped you from crossing the street. I should have died instead. I didn't deserve you, I was just a burden to you. And for that, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry Caity for being such a terrible sister and for not being there for you. I'm sorry Tony, for making you put up with all of my bull. I'm sorry mom, for being such a disappointment. I'm sorry dad, for not making you happy while you were here. Now, I can join you. You can be happy without me dragging you down. Now, I can be free.
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I took a deep breath, getting ready to jump.
Goodbye.
I leaned forward a bit more. But... I didn't feel anything. No water. No air. Nothing. Just two arms, gripping my arms and pulling me back. And then I heard a voice behind me.
"Hey! Hey! What are you doing?"
???'s POV
I was walking in the park next to the bridge over the river. I kicked some rocks on the ground and watched as they rolled away on the pavement. I finally looked up off the ground and saw that the bridge was not so far from me. I continued to walk towards it when I saw something. More like someONE. It was a girl with H/L, H/C hair leaning over the railing. I stood there watching her. Okay I know that sounds weird and sketchy but I have never seen someone here before. I mean... It was sort of my spot. She seemed...at ease. I was just about to walk away when she suddenly made a move to jump off the bridge.
OH CRUD!
I panicked and looked around me to see if anyone was here, and when I didn't see anyone, I sped towards her and grabbed ahold of her arms before she could jump off. What was she doing?
"Hey! Hey! What are you doing?" I asked her breathlessly.
"Dammit," she cursed under her breath.
"Why were you...about to jump?" I questioned. I was really confused. What could be so wrong in her life that she wanted to die?
"I-.... uh... yes I was," she stuttered. "Please let me go. Just... Let me jump."
"I'm sorry but I can't do that," I told her. I let go of her arms but stayed close enough to her that I could grab her if she tried anything.
"You don't understand! I'm just a burden to everyone around me and GOD why didn't I just..." she yelled, pulling at her hair, clearly exhausted and frustrated. "You don't even know me so I don't understand why you care. The people who actually know me don't care so why do you? I don't even deserve your care so please just go," she begged. Her voice cracked and she just looked at me, her eyes pleading. I couldn't believe she thought that of herself.
"Hey, look, don't say that! I'm sure that you have many people who love you and care about you and couldn't live on without you so why would you do this? Killing yourself is just... So selfish! If you don't care about yourself, think about the people who YOU care about. Think about how they might feel. You might be set free if you die but you would just be passing your burden onto them. Look, killing yourself isn't the option. Trust me. Please, don't do this." I looked into her eyes as tears streamed down her face. She looked... broken. She just stared at me and I stared at her. It felt like hours when she finally spoke up.
"Okay..." her voice came out as a whisper. "I won't jump."
I let out a small sigh of relief. "Good," I breathed out, running my hand through my hair.
"I-I'm sorry I-I just didn't know what to-to do. I'm so... so l-lost," she sobbed, her tears flowing more rapidly. I know that she's practically a stranger, but... For some weird reason, seeing her cry hurt me too.
"Hey, it's okay, come here," I said softly, pulling her into a hug. I saw her flinch a little but she soon hugged me back. She started crying in my shirt and I pulled her closer. We just stood there for a couple of minutes and soon I felt her calm down. She pulled away, sniffling a little bit, her eyes puffy and red from all the crying. I really felt bad for her.
"You okay now?" I asked her.
"Uh... Thank you," she mumbled.
"I hope this isn't weird but... What's your name?" I asked her.
"Y/N," she said plainly, looking at the ground.
"Y/N... Y/N what?" I teased, trying to lighten up the mood.
"Just Y/N," she stated monotonously.
"Well okay 'Just Y/N.' I guess I should be going then." I said quickly, turning around and walking away. I was almost off the bridge when I heard a voice behind me.
"WAIT! What's-- uh What's your name?"
I turned around and smiled at her.
"Barry. Barry Allen."
NOW
Your POV:
I took a deep breath and entered the building. I looked around and saw many people walking around. CCPD was a busy place. I looked around and went to the lady at the reception area.
"Hello! How may I help you?" a kind-looking lady asked me.
"Hi! Uh, do you know where Captain Singh's office is?" I inquired.
"Yes, I do! It is upstairs so you should take the elevator right over there," she said, pointing to the elevator, "and the people there should point you to his office."
"Thank you so much! I really should be going." I said, smiling at her the best I could.
"Oh wait, what is your name? You know how it is, you can never be too careful with all these metahumans running around. I mean, it's better now that the Flash is back and all. He was missing for quite some time."
"My name is Y/N Snow," I told her.
"Oh! The new CSI? Welcome to CCPD! We're glad to have you!" she said enthusiastically.
"Thank you! I'm glad to be here. I um... I'm late so I really should get upstairs." I said to her quickly.
"Oh yes, I'm sorry. Good luck on your first day!"
"Thank you!" I said to her, running into the elevator.
I nervously stood there, waiting for it to get to the floor above. My heart was beating so fast. I not only had to keep this job, but... I wanted to meet my sister today. Some friends of mine that I made over the past 2 years talked me into visiting her and moving back to Central City.
DING!
The elevator doors opened to reveal a room with even more people than before. I looked around in amazement before stepping out of the elevator. I went up to the front desk and set the coffees down onto the table.
"Hi I'm Y/N, the new CSI here. Um is Captian Singh free?" I asked nervously.
"Yes he is, you can walk right into his office. Thanks for the coffees by the way." the man smiled at me.
"Thank you and your welcome haha," I said happily, going to where the man pointed was the Captain's office. I saw a door with a label saying "Captain Singh" on it so I walked up to it. I took a deep breath and knocked twice. A voice called out from inside telling me to come in. I slowly opened the door and peeked inside. A man looked up from his papers and smiled, looking at me.
"Ah! Miss Snow! Welcome. I hope you are ready for your first day?" he asked.
"Yes, I am. " I managed to say, holding in my excitement.
"Okay, here are your IDs and everything," he said, handing me a couple of things, "and the lab should be right upstairs."
"Okay! I said giddily, smiling at him.
"Of course. Our current CSI should be up there and there are probably a couple cases waiting for you. If you need anything, just ask him." he said to me, smiling a bit.
"Alright! Um...Thank you!" I exclaimed excitedly, exiting the room.
I heard him chuckle behind me and I closed the door. I walked up the stairs and looked around. I saw a room ahead of me and I walked toward it. The door was wide open so I decided to walk in. I scanned the room and saw a tall, skinny man with his back turned to me. I cleared my throat and the man quickly turned around, clearly startled.
"Excuse me? H-Hi I'm Y/N Snow and I'm-" I paused, examining the face of the man in front of me. "Wait a second..." My eyes widened.
"Barry?!?"