October.
We were all eating dinner at the Alvarez's. Schneider and Lydia had their citizenship test. "Here's to you guys. Tomorrow you guys will be American citizens. This is the last night with a bunch of foreigners at my table." We laugh and raise our cups.
"I will be as American as el pollo loco. Salud!" We clink out glasses and drink. "Hey, no drinking. You have a test tomorrow." Elena stops her. "In Cuba, we had four R's. Reading, Writing-"
Did she just say writing? "Rhythmic and Rum."
"You only need to get 60% to pass." Schneider says.
"So you're saying to become an American, you need to be a D minus student." Elena rolls her eyes. I laugh and turn to Alex, "Hey, you made it as an American." I joke. They all laugh and Alex scoffs. "Whatever."
We all finish eating and Elena's phone rings. "That's weird."
"What's wrong?" Alex and I go sit next to her. "Syd just sent me the dancing girl, salmon sushi and the prayer hands."
"Okay, don't panic. You're in an intense game of emoji chicken." Alex says. Elena seems confused. "So, should I send Syd a chicken?"
"Girl, are you cray?" Alex takes her phone and I put my head over his shoulder to see what he sends. "Okay. How about... The ghost, a ski lift and the Sweetish flag?"
"No. The Swiss flag." I say and nods. He hits send and we mimic explosions. "What does that mean?" Elena asks. "Exactly." I respond.
"I usually win." Alex brags. I roll my eyes. "Only because you send them until like two in the morning and I'm too tired to respond."
Elena squeals and hugs us. "You guys are the best! Thank you!"
•••
I was resting my head on Alex's shoulder as we waited for them to call Lydia and Schneider to do their test. "Abuelita, you're still studying?"
"Of course. I'm just avoiding proposition from all these guys." She whispers and holds her book up to her face. "The process is a breeze. There is nothing to worry about." Elena assures her and Schneider walks in with a... Very patriotic jumpsuit.
"They didn't call my name yet, right?" Schneider says out of breath. Lydia's jaw drops. "What the hell are ju wearing?"
"I'm tryna look more American. Is it not working?" He asks but then scoffs. "I should've brought a gun!"
I burst of laughing. Why is he so accurate. "Are you okay?" Alex asks him. "Nooo!"
"Pobrecito Schneider." I motion with my hands for him to come give me a hug. "Relax. You go in, they ask you some questions and fricky fracky!" She claps. "American!"
Then we see a guy walk out in handcuffs. "Oh, Lord."
An older man walks out with a clipboard. "Hello, folks. I am looking for Lydia Margarita del Carmen Inclan De Riera." I laugh a bit as I can see the anxiety buried in his face. "Oh, that's fun." Lydia stands up and smiles, following him in.
Then a grumpy lady walks up. "Listen up, people, because I'm only gonna say this once. Something Schneider, first name is a but smudged."
Oh, God. All I can say is... Goodluck, Charlie. "You'll do great!" Elena says, very unsure. "Go get em."
I pat Schneider's back. "You're gonna do amazing!" He waves to us and Elena gives him a thumbs up. When the door closes we all sigh. "I'm gonna miss him." I lay my head back on Alex's shoulder. "He's screwed." Elena sighs.
"I'm gonna take a nap. Tell me when they get out." I pull my legs up onto the seat and Alex wraps his arm around me.
I wake up to Alex shaking me. I open my eyes and see Schneider walking out with his hands behind his back. My heart drops. "Are you in handcuffs?" I ask. Schneider pulls out two small American flags. "No. I passed!"
"Yay!" We all stand up and hug him and cheer. "Congrats!" Elena squeals. A few seconds later, we see Lydia walk out, kind of scared. "What's wrong? Did you pass?" Elena asks.
"I don't know. They told me to wait out here... Maybe they make everyone wait while they figure out if you pass."
"They told me I passed in the room and then I showed her my YouTube video- Don't look for it!" Schneider turns to us. Elena goes on about how the white guy passes but Latinix doesn't. "We don't know for sure though." I try to make them feel better.
"Oh, Lydia." The man from before walks out. "Sorry. We just had a typo in your files. You passed." We all sigh of relief. "I love this country." She hugs the guy then hugs us.
•••
Alex, Elena and I walk into their apartment as Penelope is saying. "I guess Schneider told you I was thinking about having a baby!"
"What?" Me and Alex yell. "You're having a baby?!" Elena said in shock.
"No!" Pen yelled. "I guess Schneider told abuelita."
"No, no, Schneider didn't say anything. I wanted to show you this." Lydia opens her new American flag curtain. We all give her a look. "Jumping to conclusions much?" I joke.
"I took the crib out of storage for the little gordito that Schneider is babysitting." Lydia opens the curtain back up. "But, I'm saving it for you now because this is much more exciting.
"Not happening. And I know for a fact because we just broke up." Pen sighs and sits on the couch. Elena walks over and drops her bag. "I knew he was too pretty to be straight."
Well, that didn't help. "Okay, we can salvage this." Alex puts his backpack down.
"Text him a slot machine, a bowl of ramen and a circus tent. He'll come crawling back." I say. Pen laughs a bit. "It was my decision. He wants to have kids and... I've already had my kids. I don't want him to miss the chance of being a dad, because I know how amazing it is to have kids."
"I'm sorry Mami. Sounds like you did the right thing." Elena grabs Pen's hand. "Yeah." I agree.
"Plus. The last time you had a baby, you got it right." Alex points to himself and we all laugh. They hug. "I love you, dopes." Pen says and I smile. This is adorable. "I love you too, Chiquita." Pen reaches over and grabs my hand.
"We love you too." Elena says and Pen drops the one word we all hate. "Homework?"
"Ay." We all groan and I go to Alex's room with him. Before I leave, I give Lydia a quick hug, as she seemed upset.
•••
"Hey, Alex. What's this answer?" I turn my paper to show him. "I don't know." He shrugs.
I roll my eyes. "What's the point of doing homework together if you can't even help me?"
"Be honest, Bee." Alex puts his book down. "How often do we actually do homework when we come in my room."
"Shut up!" I laugh and throw one of his pillows at him. "Rude." He throws his pillow back. I giggle, but stop once I hear arguing.
"Are they arguing?" I whisper. Alex nods and sighs. "Reminds me of when my parents would argue late at night... They thought that arguing while me and Elena were 'sleeping' would make us not hear."
"I'm sorry." I lean over and kiss him. He tries to deepen the kiss and I let him. I move my hands to his neck, pulling him closer to me. He falls back on his head board and I straddle him, Alex moving his hands to my waist.
•••
I wake up in Alex's bed with his arm around me. I smile, but seconds later I feel a pit in my stomach. I lift up the cover and see I still have my pants on.
Thank.
The.
Lord.
Stop. We didn't have sex, stupid.
I start shaking Alex, trying to wake him up so I can let him know I have to get home before Penelope or Schneider wake up. I hear the sounds of Spanish music playing through out the house and I feel a small sense of home. Alex's eyes flutter open. "Hey, I have to get home."
"What, why?" He sits up. "Do you want your mom to walk in on us like this?"
Alex laughs a bit. "Okay. See you at the swearing in ceremony?"
"Yeah." I give him a quick kiss and throw my shirt on. I walk over to the fire escape, but stop when I hear Penelope screaming. "Mami! Mami!"
I turn around and see Alex looking scared. We both run out of his room and I run to Elena's to wake her up. "Call the ambulance!" Pen yells.
Ambulance?! Elena and I run out and stop at Lydia's curtain.
My heart drops.