Y/n opened his eyes and found himself staring at a white ceiling. He sat up slowly and looked around before reaching up to his face. He found a metal mask attached to his face.
He looked down and saw a scar across his chest that was more fresh than the others.
Y/n: "The hell?"
His door then opened and the woman who had greeted him upon his awakening, Da Vinci, strolled in.
Da Vinci: "Good Morning! How are you today, Y/n?"
Y/n tried to smile, but due to the mask, he couldn't.
Y/n: "Well, I don't feel like someone committed Jihad on my entire fuckin' body anymore."
Da Vinci: "Good to hear. Dr. Roman's gonna come around later and he'll give you a verdict so we can get you summoning as normal."
Y/n: "Summoning? Is there another grail war?"
Da Vinci: "Oh, no. But with Chaldea's technology we're able to summon servants outside of grail wars."
Y/n's eyes widened and he tried to stand, but he stumbled and Da Vinci caught him.
Da Vinci: "Not so fast, big guy."
Y/n: "if I can summon outside of grail wars, does that mean I can see my servants again?"
Da Vinci: "More than likely. For now, you'll need to wait for Dr. Roman."
Y/n nodded before stretching his arm out.
Y/n: "I assume you know my abilities?"
Da Vinci: "Yup! My assistant told me all about you. She seriously never shuts up about you. I suppose that's the pride one holds when you're the sibling of one of the most powerful people on the planet."
Y/n's eyes widened as she said that.
Y/n: "wait. My sibling? Is Haruna here!?"
Da Vinci smiled warmly before walking to the door.
Da Vinci: "Give me a few minutes, I'll go get her."
About five minutes later, Y/n heard someone outside his room. The door was then opened and Da Vinci walked in, a woman was stood next to her. Someone that Y/n recognised.
Y/n: "...H-Haruna?"
The woman smiled as tears started to form in her eyes.
Haruna: "Y-You're really awake..."
Y/n managed to stand with Da Vinci's help. He took in Haruna's new, more mature appearance and smiled.
Y/n: "Damn...You've grown."
Haruna: "Yeah. I have."
Y/n: "How long's it been, Haruna? Last I saw you, I was just about to go into a coma."
Haruna: "It's...been a few years. I got promoted, as you can tell."
Y/n: "Yeah. Chaldea, huh? Da Vinci tells me you don't shut up about me."
Haruna: "It's kinda hard not to. Especially given what happened."
Da Vinci: "Haruna donated one of her lungs to you, Y/n. Of course, she had a transplant immediately afterwards."
Y/n: "You gave me a lung?"
Haruna: "Yup. Your left lung was shot to hell. There was no saving it. It was a damn miracle that we got you when we did."
Y/n smirked when he remembered something.
Y/n: "Jeanne's headpiece. Where is it?"
Haruna smiled and handed him the headpiece.
Haruna: "I know you'd go on a murderous rampage if I left this behind."
Y/n: "Damn right."
Y/n placed the headpiece on the shelf next to his bed. The door was then opened and a man walked in.
???: "Ah, good. You're awake."
Da Vinci: "Dr. Roman."
Roman: "Da Vinci. Haruna, kinda figured you'd be here."
Haruna: "Of course, doctor. I wasn't gonna just leave my little brother with the biggest simp in Chaldea."
Da Vinci: "Pfft!"
Da Vinci held her stomach laughing while Roman just grumbled.
Roman: "Anyway, I'm just gonna run a few tests so we can make sure you're summon ready."
Y/n nodded and Roman sat down on a chair nearby.
Roman: "First of all, can you remember how to use your magecraft?"
Y/n: "I can do ya one better."
Y/n snapped his fingers and one of the Chains of heaven shot up from the ground.
Roman fell off of his seat as he saw it. Da Vinci examined it closely with sparkles in her eyes.
Da Vinci: "Incredible! How are you able to project something so clearly!?"
Y/n: "It's due to my origin, and this might have had a hand in it as well."
He rolled up his sleeve and revealed the point where his old arm was severed and the new one attached.
Roman: "A prosthetic?"
Y/n: "No. it's the arm of a servant, though I think Pseudo Servant would be more accurate."
Roman: "Incredible, the magic circuits throughout your body are just bursting with energy! I can see why you were considered the strongest master in the fifth grail war."
Y/n: "Wait...you don't know who I really am?"
Roman: "Should I?"
Y/n sighed before looking Roman directly in the eye.
Y/n: "My name is Y/n L/n. But that's only my mothers last name. In reality, Haruna and I are from the Einzbern family."
Romani's eyes widened to the size of plates.
Roman: "Y-YOU'RE EINZBERNS!?!?"
Haruna: "Yup. I thought I told you this before?"
Da Vinci: "Nope, you told me. You didn't tell him though."
Roman: "That doesn't make sense, Irisviel von Einzbern didn't have another child."
Y/n: "Our father was Hans von Einzbern."
With that one sentence, Roman fell silent. He had heard rumours of Hans von Einzbern in the past. The whole Einzbern family hated him for his cruelty. It took Roman ten years to find the official records of Hans' deeds.
Roman: "S-So...you're the one that he...my god..."
Y/n: "I know what he did, and I'm glad he's six feet under. But I'm not gonna let that pin me down. I'd imagine you don't know what I'm capable of either."
Roman: "Huh?"
Haruna: "The official records state that the experiments were a failure and that Y/n and I died. However, the opposite is the truth."
Roman: "You mean..."
Da Vinci: "The experiments were a success?"
Y/n: "Yeah. Hans succeeded in making me the ultimate being. My origin is designated as Limitless and I hold three lost magics. Denial of Nothingness, Heaven's feel and the fifth lost magic, which remains unnamed. Though I'm tempted to make it a JoJo reference."
Roman gazed at Y/n with awe. For such a young man, he was beyond the levels of even some servants.
The door then opened again and three people entered.
???1: "Yo, Roman!"
???2: "You got a minute?"
???3: "Apologies for the intrusion."
Roman: "Ah. Good timing, you three. Y/n, I'd like you to meet the other two masters at Chaldea."
Y/n looked at the two. siblings, obviously since they Kind of looked like one another.
???1: "Oh. Hey there! Name's Gudao Fujimaru!"
???2: "Yo! I'm this idiot's sister, Gudako Fujimaru."
Gudao: "Rude."
Gudako: "Idiot."
Roman: "Enough, you two."
???3: "I suppose I should introduce myself as well. I'm Mash Kyrielight, a Demi-Servant contracted to Gudako."
Gudako: "we played rock paper scissors for an hour to decide who gets her."
Gudao: "Crafty bitch cheated."
Gudako: "Salty prick."
Gudao: "Arrogant cu-"
Da Vinci: "Let's all calm down now. Roman, d'ya think Y/n's gonna be able to summon?"
Roman: "No question about it, he can definitely summon. Haruna, mind helping your brother walk to the summoning room?"
Haruna: "of course."
Haruna smiled before helping her brother stand.
As they walked to the summoning room, Y/n learned a bit more about what happened at Chaldea. They were out to restore human history, Y/n then realised how he managed to meet the others before they met him in the fifth grail war.
He smiled internally knowing he'd get to see Jeanne and Mordred again.
The group arrived in the summoning room where a couple of artefacts were lain out on a table.
Y/n had a look over them when one in particular caught his eye.
A pink ribbon.
Roman: "I'd suggest summoning three servants. You may need them."
Gudao: "Y/n, Do you mind if I summon first?"
Y/n: "go ahead, Gudao."
Gudao nodded and picked up three of the artefacts.
The first summon was someone that Y/n knew just by looking at him.
Y/n walked over in front of Fujimaru and the servant smirked.
???: "You crazy bastard, You're still alive!?"
Y/n: "Zip it, puppy."
???: "HEY!! I GOT ENOUGH OF THAT FROM SPARKLY DICK!!"
Y/n burst out laughing. He had been reunited with Cù Chulainn. This time, in his caster form.
Gudao: "Y-You two know each other?"
Chulainn: "Huh? Oh! You're that kid from Fuyuki. I guess you're the one who summoned me, huh?"
Gudao: "Yeah. I'm your master now, Caster."
Chulainn: "Please, just call me Chulainn. Or Cù if that works better."
Gudao nodded before summoning his next servant, this time, it was someone that Y/n didn't recognise.
A little girl in a green jumpsuit. She hoisted an axe over her shoulder before walking up to Gudao.
???: "Are you my master?"
Gudao: "Y-Yeah. That's me."
Chulainn snickered away at the back of the room with Gudako.
Y/n merely smirked behind his mask.
???: "I am the Berserker class servant, Paul Bunyan."
Y/n: "...she's a berserker?"
Chulainn: "Yeah, kinda surprising since she's so small."
Gudao sighed before making his pact and summoning another servant. Another new face. One that confused Y/n greatly.
???: "Hi there! You must be my new master, huh? Nice to meet ya! I'm the Rider class servant, Astolfo."
Y/n took one look at Astolfo and traced a sword into his hands.
Y/n: "Keep that one away from me at all times."
Gudao: "Huh? Why? She's cute."
Gudako: "Uh-"
Y/n nudged Gudako and leaned into her ear.
Y/n: "You will tell him nothing. That will be the joke."
Gudako giggled a bit before nodding.
Then it was Y/n's turn to summon.
He walked forward and placed one of the artefacts on the ground in the middle of the summoning circle. It was the ribbon.
He stepped back before slamming his hand down next to the summoning circle.
Y/n: "C'mon, Sakura..."
The light from the summoning circle turned bright blue and almost blinded everyone present.
???: "My, my. How interesting."
Y/n looked up and was met by a strange sight. The person in front of him was definitely not Sakura, but the resemblance was striking.
???: "You must be the one who calls himself my master."
Y/n: "That's right. My name's Y/n L/n."
???: "Heh. You do seem rather powerful, no, extremely powerful. I guess I can bless you with my name. I am Kamadeva. But Kama works fine as well."
Both Roman's and Da Vinci's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when they saw her and heard her name.
Roman: "A-A...A DIVINE SPIRIT!?!?!?"
Kama: "zip it, Simp."
Roman piped down immediately.
Da Vinci: "Incredible. The Hindu god of love, Kamadeva."
Y/n (quietly): "Heaven's feel strikes again."
Kama: "Hmph, indeed. Though I have no interest in Love."
Y/n: "*sigh* this is gonna be another Ishtar situation...Oh well, moving along."
Y/n then placed the next artefact down in the middle of the summoning circle, it was a piece of torn cloth, an odd symbol was sewn onto it.
Da Vinci: "That one might not be a good Idea, Y/n. I've heard about what that Servant might be."
Y/n: "Da Vinci, I have dealt with a tsundere goddess and a giant snake lady. I can handle whatever the fuck this servant is."
Y/n made the summon and a nun walked out from the light.
Kama: "Hoo, boy. This might get interesting."
Y/n: "Oh great. A nun. Lemme guess, Caster?"
???: "Huh? Ara, Ara. Aren't you quite the powerhouse?"
Y/n: "...I just got chills, anyone else?"
Chulainn: "Yup."
Mash: "Keep her far away from me."
Bunyan: "I need an adult."
???: "I am an adult, sweetie. Anyway, I'm not a caster. My name is Kiara, an Alter Ego servant."
Y/n: "...okay. Remind me to lock my bedroom every night from now on."
Kama: "You'll need it."
Kiara: "Bold of you to assume a lock will do anything.~"
Y/n: "...Imma summon my last servant now."
Y/n walked past Kiara as she walked to join Kama. He then placed the final artefact onto the ground. A Suave Hat that gave clear warning to who this servant would be.
Y/n: "A'ight. GET OUT HERE YA FRENCH FUCKO!!"
The summoning circle lit up with more intensity and a man walked out of the light.
???: "Damn. You weren't kidding when ya said we'd see each other again."
Y/n: "Edmond Dantès, you glorious bastard!"
Edmond: "How've ya been, Y/n? Doin' good?"
Gudako: "HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT!!"
Gudao: "Sis, calm the niagara falls that is your underwear right now."
Gudako: "The hell did you just say!?"
Y/n: "Kama, smack them."
Kama merely shrugged her shoulders and slapped both siblings upside the head.
Dantès walked over and clasped his hand with his masters in the manliest handshake ever, of all time.
Once that was sorted, it was time for Gudako to summon another two servants.
Gudako: "Hey, Y/n. If I get a hot chick, can we trade?"
Y/n: "I mean, only if Edmond wants to."
Edmond: "You've got a one in a million chance."
Gudako: "...I like those odds."
Gudako then placed her relic onto the floor and summoned her servant.
This was someone that Y/n DEFINITELY didn't know.
Gudako: "Hi there! Name's Gudako. I'm your new master."
???: "Guda...ko? Da. I see. I am the caster class servant Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova. Please, just call me Anastasia though, or Ana."
Y/n (Russian Accent): "NIKO! YOU WANT TO GO BOWLING!?"
All of the guys present burst out laughing. While he was a servant in the fifth grail war, Edmond had played through GTA IV.
The memories were permanently in his brain.
Gudako: "Okay. Last one!"
Gudako placed her relic again and summoned her last servant. This was a servant that Y/n recognised, just not in that form.
Y/n: "Artoria."
The servant looked at Y/n before smirking.
Artoria: "ah, I know you. You were the master of Lancer me weren't you?"
Y/n: "Yes. I'm assuming that you're not Saber."
Artoria: "Did the rifle give it away?"
Y/n: "Partially."
Gudako then shoved Y/n to one side as she had sparkles in her eyes.
Gudako: "Hi, hello! I'm Gudako. I summoned you."
Artoria: "Yes. I can tell. I suppose you'll do as my master. I am the Rider class servant Artoria Pendragon."
Kama (whispering): "I can whoop her ass any day."
Kiara: "Assassins ARE effective against Riders. Though Ana might put up more of a fight."
Kama: "She's a caster, but I can still take her."
Roman: "Alright! Now that we've got everyone's servants sorted out! It's time I tell you about your mission."
Kama: "Who we gotta kill?"
Roman: "Hopefully no-one. But, You're going to the fifteenth century. France to be specific. Our first singularity's gonna be in Orleans."
Y/n: "Jeanne..."
Da Vinci: "Y/n, We'll have to test your rayshift capabilities first. We need to know you can make the trip."
Y/n: "The fuck are we waiting for then!? Let's go!"
Da Vinci smiled as the group left for the Rayshift chamber.
It was time for Y/n to complete his first Grand Order.
Fate/Grand Shenanigans
Begin