"Now."
The tone in Barry's voice screamed urgency despite being low in resonance. He glared into Oliver's eyes as if there was no one else in the world but the two of them-- and his mind, nothing else mattered but Oliver. Nothing else mattered other than Barry being able to conjoin his life with the man who was his life. For months, the only thing he saw was a mission of vengeance, a fiery facade of justice crippled his mind and he could not see past it. Yet, at this moment, the only thing he could see was Oliver and him standing before their loved ones-- giving their lives to one another.
The tenacity in Barry's request sent Oliver's heart flying down to the pits of his stomach. He could feel a void beginning to form as he realized exactly why Barry was so adamant on getting married now. He was going to turn himself in. He was going to lose him again.
"No," Oliver feels a lump constrict his airways as he interjects. He shakes his head slightly before resting his hands at the top of neck. He bites his lip before chokingly restating, "No."
"You don't want to marry me?" Barry asks, trying to deflect from the inevitable revelation of his plan to admit to his crimes.
"I don't want you to go to prison, Barry!" Despair seeps through the pain in Oliver's scream. His hands moved off of his neck as he had thrown them in Barry's direction for emphasis. Liquid slowly build in his eye lids and he immediately tries to fight them by clenching the muscles in his cheeks.
Barry softens his gaze on Oliver, although feeling every eye in the room on the two of them, he kept his sights set on the man who was staring intensely into his soul. An apologetic smile begins to shine through the tension and he walks towards him. He takes his trembling hand into his own. "I don't have a choice in that. But the one thing that I can choose who I want to spend my life with. And that's you."
"What's the point, Barry?" Oliver wears his broken heart on his sleeve as he begins to plead. "What's the point of getting married if you're going away to prison for God-knows how long?"
Barry caresses his chiseled cheeks into the palm of his hands in an attempt to calm him down. The skin of his face was saturated from the tears that had been falling. It tore away at his heart to see Oliver, once again, so broken because of him. He wanted to pick up the pieces like he did at the beginning of their relationship.
But he couldn't. He was stuck in the repercussions of his vendetta and Oliver was paying the price. So he chose to try to be strong for him. Be an anchor as he slowly fell into the deep, lonely waters that awaited him in his life with Barry in prison. It was the last thing he could ever do for him.
"Because knowing that I'll have you, for the rest of my life," his lip quivers as he continues, his palms adding more pressure to Oliver's face. "That will give me the strength to push forward. So please, marry me now."
Oliver bites his lip as he shakes his head. A sparkle glimmered slightly in his eyes as he slowly began to smile. "How could I say no?"
Barry pulls Oliver in for a quick kiss. He began to prepare himself to face the room of people staring at him, knowing that they would have the same interjections as Oliver did. He takes Oliver's hand as he slowly turns to face them physically. Iris' face was stained by trails of tears cried for Barry. Joe had an arm around her shoulders as he pulled her in for solace. Both Laurel and John stood in the corner of the room, arms crossed with glassy eyes as they felt empathy for their friends.
"You guys have to let me do this. If I am every going to get released from my penance, I want it to be the right way." Barry looks to Laurel with desperation as he pleads with a sense of calmness. "I trust that you will find a way." She nods as a single tear falls down her cheek. "I'm not going to run from my crimes."
Joe walks up to Barry, pulling him in tightly for an embrace. As soon as Barry lets go of Oliver's hand, Iris walks quickly to Oliver and allows herself to sob into his chest. Oliver encloses her in his arms, stifling the loud cries that were escaping from her system. Barry could not see her, yet he heard the cries that came from her. He tightens his grip on his adoptive father as the heartache of his best friend's despair was unbearable. He digs his forehead into Joe's shoulder as everything he was trying to hold in came out in full.
"You're the same hero you always have been, Bear." Joe consoles the unraveling son in his grasp. "This city will always need The Flash. They believe in you. It will all be okay."
Barry pulls away from Joe's embrace and begins to wipe away the puddles of liquid that had formed above his cheekbones. He forces a smile. "I hope so."
Barry turns to Iris, who was staring at him hopelessly with her head against Oliver's chest. The smile, even if slightly manufactured, was enough to strike a small glimmer in her eye as they made contact with his. She slowly makes her way towards him, nearly jumping in his arms once she got close enough. Barry holds her tightly, not wanting to let go.
She was his best friend. Despite their broken off engagement and failure of a romantic partnership, the love that they had for each other never diminished. They were not whole without one another-- even if was in a platonic sense. No matter the hurt and pain that Barry brought upon Iris as he chose Oliver over her, he was still one of the most important people in her life. Even though Iris was not the one for Barry, he could not live with out Iris West by his side.
She was his best friend. He couldn't say goodbye-- but he had to.
"I'm so sorry, Iris." Barry cries into his shoulder, feeling the weight of his words crash onto his heart.
She squeezes tighter. "You're going to be okay."
"Not without you."
She pulls away, keeping her arms around his neck as she musters up as much assurance as she can. "You're never without me." He smiles, she smiles back. "Now go marry the love of your life."
••
Oliver looks into the mirror in front of him. A mirror he has stared into so many times over the course of the last year. For the better part of this year, he stared into it with so much bitterness and loathe towards the man that was staring back at him. Whether it be while he wallowed in the self-pity of what he thought was an unreciprocated love, or an unapologetic glare of disdain as he looked upon a man who cared more about liquor than his well-being.
But today, he wore a sharp tuxedo. Today he wore a smile on his face-- a real, genuine, eye-crinkling smile. His eyes were not darkened from sleep-deprivation. The color of his cheeks wasn't flushed out from being dehydrated from the inevitable hangover of a long night drinking-- they were bright red and full of life, just as he was.
Today, he was marrying the love of his life. He tried to focus on what was approaching him and not what was soon to follow not long after they say their vows. He and Barry along with Joe, Iris, and Barry's team at S.T.A.R Labs jumped on a plane to Star City only hours after Barry initially asked Oliver to marry him. John and Laurel also obviously followed suit to return home.
Barry wanted to have a small wedding at Oliver's mansion. He knew Central City would be in a frenzy with The Flash going "rogue" and the police sending out a search warrant for him. But he also wanted Oliver to have a positive memory in this home of his, that he hoped one day they could share. So he put his family and friends on a plane with him to not only witness the wedding, but have the oppurtunity to spend a few final moments with Barry. Oliver had his team-- John, Laurel, and Felicity-- present along with his sister, who had been away at college for months. They had the most important people in their lives there.
Oliver looks into the mirror one more time, smiling at the man he'd become before heading back into his bedroom. John and Laurel were waiting for him, reciprocating his grin with smiles of pride of their own.
"I'm so happy for you, Ollie." Laurel tells him as she pulls him in for an embrace.
Oliver happily returns the favor, smiling at her as he pulls away. "I wouldn't have gotten to this point without you."
"What?" Laurel smirks as sarcasm begins to escape her lips. "You couldn't get married without insight from your trusted ex-girlfriend?"
Oliver chuckles slightly as he keeps a hand on her shoulder. "I couldn't have done anything without my good friend." Laurel smiles. "Thank you. For everything."
"Of course." Laurel gently traces Oliver's cheek with the outside of her palm. She looks back at John, who is patiently waiting for his opportunity to have a final chat with Oliver before everything starts. She brings her attention back to Oliver with a sincere grin. "I'll let you guys have a minute." She takes a quick grasp of Oliver's hand as she turns, letting go as she walks out.
Oliver shoves his hands into his pockets, smiling knowingly at John as he walks towards him. Plastered across John's face is an expression that Oliver knew all too well-- it was an "I-told-you- so" look of playful arrogance.
"So, after years of you saying you could not have a normal life," John begins with a smirk. "Here you are, getting married."
Oliver purses his lips through a smile before jerkingly shaking his head once. "Still not very normal, John. He's about to get tried for murder."
"Yeah, but he'll get out." John tells Oliver hopefully. Oliver tries to grasp on to the assurance that John was giving him. It was the only thing that was preparing him for the inevitable goodbye that loomed above he and Barry's heads. Oliver nods in acknowledgement. "And you'll have the rest of your lives to be normal."
Oliver bites his lower lip. "I hope you're right."
"It's the growth that counts, Oliver." John reminds him. After years of watching Oliver sink deeper and deeper into the hole that was his disparity of loneliness and alcohol, it was for affirming for John to see Oliver come out the other side as strongly as he did. Oliver felt that. He could feel the satisfaction that John had for who he had become.
More than anything, Oliver was happy that he had finally become the man that he wanted to be. He had become the man that Barry Allen deserved. Not that it was a title that he had to work to deserve neccesarily, but Oliver actually believed it. There were no self-deprecating thoughts circling throughout his mind about just how much he deserved Barry. He knew that he was deserving of the kind of love that Barry gave him. And he relished in every moment of it.
John initially reaches his hand out to Oliver for him to shake, but instead, Oliver opens his arms up. They quickly embrace, patting each other on the back as they pull away.
"Guess I need to go get married, huh?" Oliver jokes, getting a chuckle out of John as they walk out of his bedroom. They walk through the hallway, walking to the stairwell that oversees the entrance of the mansion. Oliver stops, as if on cue, winking at John as he leaves to go to the main living area. He was the only person both Barry and Oliver knew that was ordained, so he would be waiting for them at their makeshift altar.
Oliver notices Iris walking from the other side of the hallway, near the staircase that stood on that side. She makes her way towards him, checking him out up and down with an exaggerated look of awe on her face.
"Damn," She tells him expressively, scaling his body with her eyes once more. "You're looking good, Queen."
Oliver imitates the overplaying of awe as he scans Iris in the same way she did him. "You clean up nice yourself, West." He pulls her into his side for a short but sweet embrace. Even if it sounded and looked as if he was overstating his compliments, he was completely sincere. She looked beautiful.
"I'm still a little bitter that you ruined my wedding day," she jokes, flashing Oliver a smile to signify her wit.
"I know you are joking, but you absolutely have a right to be," Oliver tells her with sincerity.
She smiles. "All that matters to me is that Barry is happy. He is happy. Happier than I have ever seen him." Her warmth cuts through Oliver, almost making him feel even more guilty about how the events of her wedding weekend went down. But then again, there was such earnestness in her tone that he fully believed the words that left her mouth. Iris West truly is one of a kind.
"I'm glad that you are the one marrying him."
She finishes and Oliver cannot help but pull her in for one more embrace to show his gratitude. "Thank you." He tells her softly.
"No. Thank you."
She pulls off of him before gracefully walking down the stairs to join the others. Oliver pulls up the sleeve of his tuxedo to check the time. 2:58. It felt as if Oliver's heart had stopped. Barry was supposed to be meeting up with him at this time. They were going to walk down the stairs together, to the main area where they would walk down a makeshift "aisle." It wasn't anything elaborate. They were both simple men. Initially, they just wanted to dress in business casual and say their vows in the front lawn of the mansion. But the women in their lives insisted on something more special. Something more conventional, since most of the wedding was unorthodox enough as it was.
Oliver carved the rings himself. As soon as they got back to Star City last night, he and Barry spent a long period of time in the bunker. Firstly, Barry had a debt to pay Oliver, which was the first order of business. But it was more than a debt. It was compensation for the level of intimacy most couples get the night of their wedding. But since Barry was more than likely going to spend the night of his wedding in handcuffs, not in a sensual manner, they figured that they would take advantage of the time that they had.
After that, Oliver took the metal that he used to make his arrows and crafted two perfectly fitting rings for Barry and him. It wasn't that neither of them could afford to buy rings-- it was something that Oliver wanted to do. And in the time frame that they had to get this wedding together, it was the most plausible way to get the rings made.
In the midst of this insanity, Oliver never really took the time to come to terms with his emotions. Of course he was ecstatic. Of course he was heartbroken about what was to come afterwards. But for the first time since Barry asked him the question not even twenty four hours ago, he felt nervous-- the nauseas, sick kind that he was not used to feeling.
Ultimately, he was just ready to see Barry.
And there he was. As Oliver first sees him, he reminisces back to the last time he saw him in a tuxedo. They were fitting for his wedding-- the one that did not happen of course. But that moment had so much pain and feelings of guilt and loss that Oliver never allowed himself to be in awe of the person he saw in it. But now, he had every goddamn right to see the man in the suit how he saw fit.
The sunlight seeped through the window, shining a bright light against the side of Barry's face and forcing his dark eyes to illuminate into his. A bright smile glistened from his cheeks as he saw Oliver for the first time. A glassy film formed in Barry's eyes as they met with Oliver's. Neither of them could fight their jaws from gawking at the sight. They were both in complete awe of one another.
It was not necessarily an awe of infatuation-- of course, they were attracted to one another. But no, it was an awe of the person that they saw ahead of them. It was the notion that they were about to profess their love to each other, in front of their loved ones. It was the idea that they were promising their lives to one another, no matter what life were to throw at them.
It was an awe of who the person in front of them was. Barry was the man that Oliver never believed that he could have. Oliver was the man that Barry never stopped believing in. To each other, the other man was this impossible attainment that never in this godforsaken time did they ever think they would get. But here they were-- the luckiest men alive.
"Would it be wrong of me to kiss you right now?" Barry asks as he approaches Oliver, self-control being non-existent once again in his mind.
Oliver nods. "I think we may need to wait a few minutes for that." They both begin to laugh, not necessarily because what Oliver said was humorus, but because they were so overwhelmed with joy and bliss that their bodies had no other choice but to chuckle. After so many months of torment, so many months of feeling as if they'd never get to this moment— they were here, full of a happiness that they had never felt in their lives.
"I know that since we're about to, you know, get married, this may seem not surprising but—" Barry begins, grasping Oliver's fingers into his own as he nervously trails off. A tear falls gently down his cheek before he finishes.
"I love you," he tells him under a shaky breath.
Oliver brings his other hand to Barry's face, swiping the moisture from his cheekbone with his thumb. He smiles as he replies wittingly, "You're not supposed to be crying yet, Bear."
"I know, I know," he lets out another chuckle. "Can we go get married now so I can unleash this waterfall I'm holding back?" Oliver caresses his check, soaking in this moment of tranquility that they had with one another.
He steps away from Barry, holding out his hand for him to take to they could begin their walk to the ceremony.
"I have been holding mine back all day." He takes Barry's hand, smiling at him as they are conjoined. "And for the record, I love you too."
They grin at each other with excitement as they slowly begin their trek down the stairs. The butterflies in both of their stomachs only became rampant each time their feet touched the next step. They'd faced some of the toughest terrors this world had ever seen— evil speedsters, tyrannical leaders of criminal organizations, aliens— but marrying the person who made them complete was a scarier thought than them all. Yet the grip on the other's hand tightened as the flutters got worse. Because they had each other— and that's all they'll ever need.
They watched as their friends and family saw them enter what was typically the main living area of the Queen's mansion. Seats had been set in rows and a space was set in between, enough room for Barry and Oliver to walk with one another.
Barry sees the tears set firmly in Joe and Iris' eyes as they looked into the overjoyed eyes of this man they loved. This man they'd seen go through hardship after hardship, who had every right to hate the world— they saw him smiling brighter than he ever had, happier than he ever was. He was getting his happy ending.
Oliver feels the smiles radiating from Laurel, Felicity and Thea- gleams that signified their satisfaction in Oliver realizing how worthy he was of love. Smiles that emulated the vivacity shining from Oliver, something that the had never seen from him in the last five years.
Everyone in the room knew exactly where this joy came from and it came from the reason they were all here— the love that Oliver and Barry shared for one another.
They stop only feet away from John, smiling tenderly as they turn to face one another. They begrudgingly let go of each other's hand. There's a slight bit of relief as they know that the next time they feel the touch of the other's skin, they'd finally be pledging and unifying their lives together as one. They cross their trembling arms over their waists as they wait for John to begin speaking.
"Oliver told me to keep this short and sweet," John begins, swapping prideful glances at the two men before continuing. He smiles smugly. "But he should know me better than to take his advice." He instigates a chuckle from Barry and the crowd. Oliver shakes his head while grinning slightly.
"Oliver swore to me that he would never have a normal life. He'd never have the luxury of settling down with someone because of the life he lived," John smiles as he brings his attention from Oliver to Barry. "But he never took into consideration that he would cross paths with someone who lived that same life— and believed that he could love."
He looks to the crowd. "So I watched as Barry slowly chipped away at those walls Oliver tried so hard to build. And now here they both are, willing and ready to give their lives to each other."
Oliver and Barry cannot help the giddy smiles escaping their lips, thinking about the words he said along with the excitement they felt for what was coming. Oliver notices a small tear fall down Barry's check and it causes a few tears of his own to fall. At that moment, he knew he was fucked. He wasn't going to make it through the vow exchange without showing the entire room that he was full of emotions.
They had written their own vows, so John quickly wrapped up his opening remarks and cued them to start saying what they had written last night.
Barry wrote his in about five minutes— in normal time that is. To him, it felt like hours of racking his mind for the best words to say to Oliver. Even after he finished, he was worried that it wouldn't be enough.
"I spent my entire life searching for the impossible," Barry begins as he stares deeply into Oliver's eyes. "I had seen the impossible and no one believed me. I would tell people the truth until I was blue in the face yet they still thought I was crazy. And then I told you, Oliver. I told you and I watched as your eyes softened with empathy. You believed me. I felt that and carried it with me."
His voice cracks and tears slowly fall steadily as he continues. "And then I was struck by lightning and became the impossible— and you believed in me. You believed that I could be the best version of myself as The Flash. And time went on and I realized that being The Flash wasn't the best part of me." His lip quivers as his voice continues to get weaker and Oliver's emotions overtake him.
Barry nods in Oliver's direction. "You are the best part of me. You brought out something in me that didn't exist unless I was around you. You made me a better man. You make me a better man." He clears his throat, trying to rattle out the lump that was ever so present in his throat. "My search for the impossible ended the day I met you, Oliver Queen because you are my impossible. You're the love of my life. And I cannot imagine sharing my life with anyone but you."
"I promise I will love you with every cell in my body, for the rest of my life." He takes the ring that he had been holding and places it on Oliver's fourth finger on his left hand. He lets out a nervous laughter, as he cannot believe what the pair are about to complete.
Oliver smiles through the tears falling down his cheeks. Every word that Barry said resonated deeply within his soul. He felt every single ounce of it. He only hoped that he could make Barry feel even a quarter of the love he felt for him at this moment. He had stayed up all night writing and rewriting his vows. Like Barry, he overthought every word and every sentence. He soon realized that at the end of the day, it didn't matter what he said. He knew that Barry knew just how much he loved him. He knew that Barry understood the depths of his love and these worlds were simply a trivial thing. So he wrote from his heart.
Oliver takes a deep breath, a trembling one at that, as he stares into Barry's tearful eyes. He was ready.
"Not long after you and I first met, you saved my life. You thinned my blood with rat poison," Oliver lets out a chuckle, getting one in return from the crowd and a chesty giggle from Barry. "And although I thought you were insane, I realized that you were different than anyone I'd ever met in my life. So I spent the better part of four years slowly falling for everything that you were."
They both smile at one another. Oliver goes to take Barry's hands, not caring if it was the conventional way to exchange this words of promise to the man he was marrying. All he needed was to touch and feel Barry as he said these words.
"But when I couldn't be with you, the man I knew I loved, it slowly killed me. I restored to things that I shouldn't have. But just like you did when we met, you saved me— except this time it was from myself."
Oliver presses his lips together as he stares into Barry's eyes, continuing to allow the tears to fall rampantly from his eyes. He didn't care that there were people watching. To him, it was just the two of them in this room together. He pushes forward to the last segment of his vows.
"And you, Barry Allen, allowed me to feel alive again. You make me feel whole and complete— and I want to hold onto this feeling for the rest of my life." He takes out the ring that had been sitting in his pocket and places it on Barry's ring finger. "I promise to never, ever lose sight of this. I am giving the rest my life to you."
They squeeze each other's hands before pulling away. John looks at the pair with awe and pride— mostly due to the fact that he had never seen Oliver so open and honest about his feelings. It touched him, just as it touched every single soul in that room.
"It is very clear and obvious that these two are ready to kiss and make it official," he jokes, not interrupting the intense stares Oliver and Barry were giving one another. They did smile however. "I guess it's my honor and privilege to share with you,
The Allen-Queens."
Without a cue, Barry leans in and takes Oliver's face into his hands. Their lips crash against one another's with an intensity that they never had. Feelings of warmth radiated throughout their bodies as they shared this moment of unity and eternal connection. For the rest of their lives, they would be each other's rightful partner. No matter how much time Barry spent in prison, Oliver was his husband. He was his forever.
It was a love that transcended the magnitude of the sentiment they ever believed was possible. It was a level of trust that only they knew with one another. It was a confinement to each other that they welcomed and embraced.
When the world was so keen on reminding them of who they'd become if they couldn't be with the one they loved, they still managed to stand in this moment together— finally, as a married couple.