It should have been a normal day.
Days like that didn't exist for the Octonauts.
Barnacles, Kwazii, Peso, and Shellington were exploring a dark ocean trench, looking for new creatures. Peso had been nervous enough from the start, although he tried not to show it.
"What's that sound?" Barnacles chuckled, turning to Peso with a calm smile. "It's just our propeller, Peso. It always makes that sound."
Peso stood shivering next to Shellington. The otter was excited to explore the area for new creatures, but he could tell Peso was nervous. It would be incredibly dark there, though not as dark as the midnight zone, and it was no secret Peso was afraid of the dark. He often tried to hide it, and, in turn, the Octonauts would try to make it easier for him.
"What about that?"
"That's just our heat tracker, matey." Kwazii responded calmly. Poor Peso trembled a little more. Shellington knelt down next to him. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Shellington knew this was a lie. "Peso, tell me the truth."
"I said I'm fine!" Shellington looked carefully at Peso. He was trembling, and he looked worried. He glanced every which-way, and jumped a tad at the slightest sound.
"Peso, if you're scared-!"
"I'm not scared!"
Shellington and Barnacles shared a quick look. They knew how hard Peso tried not to be scared of the dark. Shellington turned back to Peso. "It's okay to be afraid of the dark, you know."
"Who-who says I'm afraid of the dark?"
"Well, you are shaking."
"So what? It doesn't mean I'm scared!" Shellington knew he wasn't going to get anything else out of Peso, so he stood back up, dropping the conversation. It was impossible to convince stubborn little Peso he didn't have to be brave all the time. He was only fifteen, after all.
The last thing Peso wanted to do was let them see his fear. They'd think him a crybaby, a child, not old enough to go on missions or be trusted, not responsible enough-he couldn't bear that. He looked up to the, the captain most of all, and he'd rather die before letting them see him scared of something so childish as the dark. He was fifteen, not five!
Once they entered the trench, Peso felt his jitters going away. The darkness outside made the light in here seem much brighter, chasing the darkness away.
Of course, they had to get out.
"Try to stay close, everyone." Barnacles secured his deep-sea helmet. "We don't want to lose track of the Gup, or each other. We can't go very far." There was a chorus of approval, and Peso took a deep, silent breath. He'd be close to the others. It would be fine.
Kwazii smiled, and nudged him. "Don't worry, Peso. It'll be an adventure! Maybe we'll go toe-to-toe with some monsters!"
Kwazii wasn't the best at comforting.
He and Shellington jumped out of the hatch, and Barnacles placed a paw on Peso's shoulder. He could feel how tense he was. "I wouldn't worry, peso. Kwazii's just trying to scare you."
"I'm not worried." His voice cracked a little.
Barnacles mentally sighed, but accepted Peso's feeble excuse. He knew it wouldn't be easy to convince Peso it was fine to be scared sometimes.
Peso hopped out of the hatch, mentally scolding himself. He could school his features just fine under most circumstances. Was his fear of the dark that strong? He wanted to be just like the big, brave captain. Nothing scared him.
As he swam further, trying to catch up with Shellington, he felt the darkness growing, as if it were enclosing him, swallowing him, and he couldn't get himself to stop swimming forward. He suddenly remembered his childhood, when his father would lock him in the basement, and make noise upstairs to scare him, or jump in out of nowhere to make Peso scream, torturing him with thoughts of paranoia, and scolding him for being such a scared little child afterward.
And then the whips. To be forced to sit in the dark basement, having someone jump out at you and scream every time you let you guard down, and you saw the dark figure of your most feared enemy, your most feared parent, holding a whip, and then the SNAP! and the STING...
"BOO!"
Peso jumped from his thoughts, screaming. His stomach was twisted in knots, and his heart was beating rapidly. He half-expected to see his father behind him, holding a dreaded weapon. Then, he took notice of the water around him, and the laughter of a certain mischievous cat.
"Oh, that was priceless!" Kwazii said through laughter. "You should've seen your face!...Oh..." He trailed off, noticing something.
Peso felt anger and embarrassment rise inside him, and he did the last thing he expected himself to do. he gave Kwazii a good shove, and swam for the Gup. All he could think about was his father, and the other kids at school who would jump out and scare him for fun, laughing at his reaction, thinking it funny to see him in fear. It wasn't fair!
Barnacles was a little ways away, and didn't hear all the commotion. But, when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Kwazii looking remorseful, he knew something was wrong.
Barnacles hopped back into the Gup, and looked around. The Gup A was pretty small, and there wasn't anywhere for Peso to make himself completely invisible. Sure enough, he noticed a discarded deep-sea suit on the floor, with a dark stain in between the legs, tainting it's orange color to more of an orange-brown. And not to far from it, a little black and white creature was curled up under the dashboard, with a telltale stain between his legs. Barnacles heard sobbing, and his features softened. "Peso?"
No answer. He knelt down, and peered under the dashboard. Peso was facing away from him, but he could still see tears sliding off Peso's chubby cheeks.
"Peso, it's alright. It was just Kwazii."
"Go away."
Barnacles sighed. "Peso, Kwazii didn't mean to scare you that bad."
"Yes, he did. I hate him."
"I'll talk to him. You can come out." Barnacles felt a twinge of guilt stir in his chest. The only obvious reason for Peso's presence here was the chance someone might get hurt. But, Barnacles had brought him along in the hopes of helping him conquer his fear of the dark, which was clearly stronger than any of them thought.
He'd really have to have some serious words with Kwazii.
"Peso, it's alright. You can come out." When Peso didn't move, Barnacles scooted a little closer. "I'm not going to laugh at you. And it's no use hiding it. I can see that stain just as well." Peso shrunk in a little more, as if he were trying to shut out the world. Barnacles heaved another sigh, and reached out. He grasped Peso's sides firmly in his thick-furred white paws. Peso struggled as he was pulled out. His cold suit was dripping. Barnacles grabbed a nearby towel from a crate, and placed on the floor where it had dripped, and sat Peso down on it.
Peso couldn't meet his eyes. He felt awful. He was probably nothing but a little chick to them, and it was all Kwazii's fault! He'd get him back for this...
Barnacles voice shook him from his thoughts. "I'm very proud of you, peso."
The little Octonauts glanced up in surprise. "You...you are?"
Barnacles nodded,genuinely smiling. "Even though you were scared to death-and don't try to deny it-you still came along. I'm proud of you for facing your fear like that."
"It was nothing." Peso glanced away. Barnacles smile fell from his face. "What's wrong?"
When Peso didn't answer, Barnacles tilted his chin so he could look at him. "Peso, we live on a ship together. If you need help, you need to tell us. The only way we'll get through this is if you're open with me, and I'm open with you. The same goes for the others. I just want to help you, Peso." Peso could tell this was true. Barnacles had just given him a speech about it.
The little penguin couldn't form the words, though. SO, he scooted closer, and burrowed further into Barnacles chest, the tears starting anew.
"We need to get you cleaned up." Barnacles pressed the button on his collar. "Kwazii, Shellington, I'm taking Peso back to the Octopod for a bit. We won't be gone long." The two others sent their approval, and Barnacles, gently cradling Peso in one arm, started the Gup.
Kwazii and Shellington watched them leave. The otter quickly turned on Kwazii. "You just had to do it, didn't you?"
"What?" the cat defended himself, "I thought it would help. It was just me!" Shellington rolled his eyes. "How could startling him possibly help?!"
"I thought he'd see he didn't need to be afraid of every single noise in the ocean." Shellington caught a hint of annoyance in Kwazii's tone, and softened a little. Kwazii was starving for adventure and action, and when they had Peso with them, it was hard to answer that calling. Shellington understood that Kwazii loved Peso and wanted to help, but he also understood it was frustrating for the cat.
He put a paw on Kwazii's shoulder, and led him along. "I want to show you something."
Barnacles drew some warm water, while Peso got himself a clean cold suit. The little penguin came toddling back into the bathroom after about ten minutes, looking downcast. Barnacles checked the temperature of the water, before putting the stopper in and turning to Peso. Once again, the youngest Octonaut was facing the wall, and not him.
"Peso," Barnacles carefully placed a paw on his shoulder. "it's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I'm such a baby." Barnacles' ears perked at Peso's mumble. "Peso!"
"It's true! Don't say it isn't!" He whirled around. Barnacles eyes widened at the emotion in his face, the anger. "I'm scared of everyone and everything, I can't even hear the word 'boo' without wetting myself, I sleep with a stupid stuffed animals, and I can't walk right! I have accidents every time I'm jump scared, and don't tell me it happens to everyone, because I know that's a flat lie! Name one person!" Barnacles waited until he was sure Peso was finished, and gently lifted him into the water. "Peso, I want you to listen to me, because I'm going to tell you the honest truth." The bear gently started to scrub soap into Peso's feather, despite the younger one's protests that he could do it himself. "I'll admit, we always saw you as the baby of the team. And, we love you as such." Peso's childish behavior, and babyish features were hard to ignore. But, they hadn't known it made him so frustrated.
"That is the reason we try to help you and protect you. You're fifteen, and still very young. Sometimes, you act even younger." Peso's head lowered. They'd noticed.
"I swear, it's because of this-!" Barnacles cut him off. "Peso, we love you for who you are. No matter how you act or what you look like."
"But I don't!"
"Why not?" Peso pondered this. Barnacles frowned in sympathy. it didn't take a detective to learn that Peso had been bullied something fierce his whole life. For his baby-face, for his waddle- Shellington said Peso was chubbier than most penguins, and therefore, didn't walk like most penguins- and his childish hobbies, like playing with toys or coloring books. But, those were things the Octonauts found adorable, and loved so much about him. But, Peso didn't love himself.
"Peso, if you could change yourself, would you?"
"I don't know...maybe." The little penguin admitted.
"What would you rather be?"
Peso shrugged. "I don't know," He repeated. "Someone who wasn't bothered by small sounds in the dark...someone people could actually rely on...maybe, someone who could actually take care of himself, instead of needing constant supervision because he's small and scared."
Barnacles tipped his head, his expression calm. "You'd rather be someone caught up in other's expectations, and someone who doesn't think twice before heading into a dangerous situation?"
"I'd be someone else, so I'd think differently. But now, I say no."
Barnacles carefully worked the soap into the feathers on Peso's head. "Well, you can't exactly change who you are. And, if you could, to be all that would take a lot of practice, and a long time. And, if I'm being honest, I don't think it sounds like fun."
"I want to be like you!" Barnacles paused for a moment. He hadn't the slightest clue Peso looked up to him. What was he supposed to say to that?
"peso, I'm flattered. But, I don't want you hating who you are, when so many people love that person."
"That's not true. Not even my parents love 'that person.'" Barnacles blinked in surprise. "peso, I'm sure they do!"
"If they did, why did they always order me to be someone else?!" Peso's challenged, his eyes full of tears. Barnacles' featured melted, soft and gooey. He could see it now. Peso had learned to hate himself, because he was surrounded by people who did.
"Peso, I know you might not believe me, but we love this person."
"Yeah," Peso sniffed. "Because he's gullible and easy to trick and tease."
"No, Peso. I'm talking about love in a different way. We love having you around. And, I know you'll learn to be brave someday. But, for now, I want you to know you're surrounded by people who love you for you." He watched for Peso's reaction. The little one didn't seem all that fazed. He sighed.
"Peso, it's really okay to have an accident." he decided to change gears. "I'll admit, I don't know anyone your age who's had one, but it's basically something everyone does, just not at random times. Do you catch my drift?"
Peso nodded, slowly.
"I'm going to have a serious talk with Kwazii. What he did was very mean, and he had no right." Barnacles noticed Peso was still sad, and lifted him out of the water.
"How could you?" Barnacles tipped his head. "How could I what?"
"How could you love someone who's completely useless? I'm just here because you needed a medic, and-!"
"And when someone does need you, you're braver than any of us." Barnacles smiled at him with love and pride-Peso could see it. So different from the smiles of cruelty and mischief he got during his childhood.
Barnacles continued. "And, we love you because you're so innocent and sweet, and you don't have to pressures of the complicated world on you. We love you because you can still appreciate the simple joys in life." They wanted to protect him. He was to innocent to be hurt by the big bad world.
Peso pondered this for a moment. "But, what goo is that?"
"Peso, I'm going to be honest with you. Sometimes, the best traits in the world to have aren't very useful. But, when you're nice to someone, they're nice to you, and that can come in very handy when you need help. And, those people with traits that are wonderful but useless, they have gifts that are very useful." Peso blinked, beginning to look a little better. Barnacles lowered him back into the water. "I know someone, innocent and sweet like you, who is needed one so many expeditions because he speaks several languages. Look at you! You're one of the smartest people we know, and you're a very talented medic." Peso blushed, feeling a little better.
Barnacles started too wash his stomach, making Peso giggle. "Hey! That tickles!" The bear chuckled, and scrubbed a little faster, just for the sake of making Peso laugh. After that, Peso was all cleaned up, and he pulled the stopped out, and laid the little one on a nice fluffy towel.
"Now you understand why we love you. We have so many reasons." Barnacles wrapped him up in the towel, and cuddled him close, drying him. Peso understood now, and it made him feel very happy.
"Now, it's okay to have accidents every now and then." Barnacles nuzzled him. "It' mostly Kwazii's fault anyway." Peso was silent again, thoughtful this time. What to do?
"Peso?" Barnacles face contorted with worry. "Are you okay?"
"...Dad did this to me." Barnacles frown deepened. "Did what?"
Peso couldn't answer, so Barnacles dried him off, and helped him into his cold suit.
Silently, they went back to the Gup, and started driving back to the trench. When they got there, Peso pointed at the darkness with his tiny, chubby flipper. "He did this to me." Barnacles frowned, and took a moment to figure it out. "He did...darkness to you?" Peso nodded.
Barnacles watched the younger one struggle into his deep-sea suit. How could Peso's father do darkness to him.
"You mean he...left you in a dark place?" Peso nodded. Barnacles realized Peso was trying to tell him something important, and was doing it in his own little way because, whatever it was, it was hard to say.
Peso pointed at Kwazii. "And then, he'd do that to me." Barnacles tipped his head. "He'd leave you..."
"Lock me."
"He'd LOCK you in a dark place and...jump out at you?" Peso nodded again. Barnacles frowned. that wasn't good.
He turned to Peso. "why on earth would he lock you up and scare you?" Peso shrugged. He didn't honestly know himself. But, it was incredibly hard to think of.
Barnacles pondered for a moment. "He...did this often?"
Nod.
"...He tortured you." Peso nodded again, toddling up the the captain, and placing a flipper on his lap. Barnacles picked it up, and felt it. Soft, sensitive skin, just like a baby's...something stood out. Rough and jagged, sort of a welt...
A scar.
"Oh, Peso. He didn't." He gathered Peso into his arms. Everything made sense now.
Peso had suffered an abusive childhood. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
His father had convinced him he was nothing but a worthless, useless child. Clearly, he hadn't been the only one.
"peso," Barnacles looked Peso right in the eye. The youngest Octonauts was snuggled against his chest, and looked up at him with those big baby eyes of his.
"I am NEVER, letting anyone hurt you again. You've been through enough." Peso didn't reply. Instead, he simply lay his head down on the captain's chest, and stay there, lost in his thoughts. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep.
Meanwhile, Barnacles sat, hoping Peso's father was in some asylum or jail somewhere, where he couldn't hurt peso anymore. The awful man had left Peso a damaged child, further cursed by being trapped in the body of a teenager.
Peso needed love and guidance. he was their child now, and they'd make sure that, this time, he grew up right.
Barnacles smiled at the sleeping lump in his arms.
It was funny how a little accident got Peso so worked up, he had learned this much about him.