As she dangled above the destroyed floor, Mariana noticed something was off. Bobby and Buck were focusing on rescuing people while Hen managed treating people. Mariana's job was to call out any movement in the rubble and to find places to stabilize any of the rocks that could potentially come tumbling down.
But something was off with the foundation of the building. She repelled down, landing softly on the destroyed stone. Bending down, Mariana picked up a piece of what looked like crumpled metal.
"Cap," she called, raising it up so he could see. Bobby plucked it from her hands and studied it for a second before glancing up at Hen.
"Is the owner here?"
"Uh, that's him right there. Why?"
Bobby immediately strode towards him and Mariana hurriedly unclipped herself from the rope, a swear pulling at her lips but never really escaping. She followed after him, knowing that he was still shaky after the events that transpired a few hours prior.
"When'd you put in the third floor?" Bobby asked the owner. "When did you put on the third floor? You think I don't know what that is?!"
He threw the metal at the man who jumped to avoid it. Mariana winced at the crashing sound and Bobby's yell, her mind flashing dangerous images. Red and blue flashing lights. An ache in her leg. It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. Flashlight in her eyes.
"Tha-that's Kal Pal! That stuff's been banned! You didn't reinforce the concrete with steel and instead you used that crap! This used to be a two story building. The floor that collapsed, that was the roof, huh? Wasn't it?!" Bobby yelled, grabbing the front of the man's shirt. Mariana snapped out of her thoughts and she began to surge forward as Hen called his name.
"You know what you did, you son of a bitch!" he roared. "You're going to jail. That's manslaughter!"
"Captain!" Mariana barked, yanking back on his arms as he pushed the man forward. Bobby spun around, shoving Mariana back and to the ground. He immediately froze, as did Buck and Hen as Mariana caught herself by twisting and landing on her hands and knees in the middle of the debris. Her breathing was ragged as she straightened out, sitting up and brushing the dust off of the front of her uniform. Buck bent down and extended his hand for her to take but she shoved him away, rose to her feet, and marched out.
"What is wrong with you?" Hen exclaimed.
"Back off, Hen," Bobby barked.
"Back off, really?! Not twenty four hours ago, you were saying "help". What happened to that?"
Bobby wrenched his arm out of her grip and stormed off, following the path Mariana took. He found the younger woman by the truck where she was pacing back and forth.
"Mariana," he muttered in the beginning to an apology. She didn't even turn around to look at him. Her next words were icy and poised directly for the heart.
"If I wanted to talk to a drunk who hit me, I would go see my uncle at the county jail," she snarled before she walked off towards the injured wedding guests.
///
"Six hours in and no severed limbs," Anna announced as she exited the trauma bay. Mariana smirked at her comment and glanced up from the chart she was working on.
"Night's still young," Leslie called as she entered the second trauma bay.
Their shift had been slow which Mariana was both grateful for and frustrated. She used work to distract herself from all the shit happening in her life. The fact that no one was being brought in by EMS and wailing about how they accidentally sliced their toes off was becoming very annoying. Instead, she had to dwell in her thoughts for hours on end which is the last place she wanted to be, if she were frank.
Shutting the folder of the chart, Mariana slid it back onto the stack and leaned back in her chair. Anna took the other chair behind the nurses station and sighed, spinning around. Leslie emerged from the trauma bay, gesturing for the cleanup crew to begin.
"I'm not going to say the dreaded word," Anna began. "But this has to be one of the...sweetest nights we've had ever."
"Sweetest?" Leslie snorted, leaning over the desk to pass Mariana her chart. "Can you be a dear and input that?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just 'cause I can type the fastest doesn't mean you all can continue to take advantage of me."
Another one of the night shift nurses, Flynn, chuckled as he passed them. "Trauma bay two and three is empty, one is being cleaned, and rooms three and four have patients waiting for a resident. Other than that, all we have is small cuts here and there. Does anyone else feel weird?"
"I welcome the relaxation. I bet Mari does too. You work like, sixty hours a week," Anna scoffed.
"Sixty to seventy-two, to be exact."
"When do you sleep?"
"The other ninety six hours. And we sleep at the firehouse. It's not me being awake the entire shift." She grimaced at the mention of her other job. Her next shift was in two days and she really didn't want to deal with Robert Nash. Was she a little harsh? Yeah. Was she sorry? A bit. Was she angry?
Oh hell yeah.
Leslie knew that she was angry. Her boss didn't question anything when Mariana asked for a ride into work today. She just picked the younger woman up and wordlessly held her hands out for her car keys. Mariana relinquished them without protest.
The dark haired latina was finishing up the chart when the emergency room doors slid open. Three huge guys walked in, a frail older woman slowly being led in by one of the guys. Mariana hopped up and waved them over.
"Yo, we found this lady down in South LA. She's super confused and don't know where she's supposed to be. Figured you could help her," the leader of the group said.
"You came to the right place. Here, why don't we get her settled in a room and I'll page a doctor and contact the LAPD for a missing persons check."
Thirty minutes later and Evan Buckley himself rushed into her emergency room with a redheaded woman. Mariana was leaving the room next to Patricia Clarke's when Buck and his friend rushed in. Athena gave them the run down as Mari slipped back into the room she was just in, pretending to scribble something down on her chart. She finally left the room and headed back for the nurse's station when Athena Grant stopped her.
"Hen told me about there being a little trouble at work," Athena hummed.
"Leslie already has my keys," she replied without looking up at her. "I get off shift at two and then she'll drive me home. I uber to the station. You don't have to worry."
"But I do worry. You've been dealt a shitty hand, kid."
"Like I didn't already know that. Thank you for the reassurement."
Athena rolled her eyes and tugged at the end of Mariana's braid. "But you sure as hell know how to play the game better than anyone. You're twenty-six and yet you face your demons with more grace than some people my age."
"You think I should forgive Bobby." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement. Like a mother would a child, Athena gently lifted Mariana's head and leveled her with a pointed but caring look.
"I think you should remember the times you have stumbled and lashed out at others. You're a strong girl and growing stronger every day, but you need to trust your team and trust yourself. Being a little open won't kill you."
"Killed a lot of other people," she quipped. Athena's eyes narrowed into a glare and Mariana smirked,
"None of those were your fault. Got it? I won't be hearing none of that anymore. You gotta start being kinder to yourself, kiddo. I haven't seen you smile since you were nineteen."
Mariana sighed, averting her gaze from the police officer. She chewed at her lip before nodding in concession. Glancing back up at Athena, a small glimmer of some hidden emotion glinted in her dark eyes.
"Where would I be if you hadn't been there that night?" Mariana asked in a light tone. There was a hint of teasing but there was a deeper meaning to it. They both knew where she would be.
"You should come by for dinner one of these nights. May and Harry miss you."
"Tell me when and I'll be there."
///
Mariana couldn't bring herself to talk to Bobby. Athena's words rang through her head and she knew she would need to speak to him at some point, but her courage and her words failed to come forward. She stayed downstairs and cleaned up the trucks, restocked the ambulance, and even shined her boots. She was about to make another lap of the apparatus bay when the bell rang. Mariana never felt so relieved for a call.
It was simple enough. Some guy got wrapped up in the car wash brushes and he had no concussion or injuries. Hen had been initially concerned about his dazed appearance and slow reaction but Mariana was quick to determine it was just a really nice high.
Hen and Mari were loading him up into the rig when Buck's laughter floated through the air. Mariana turned, spying Bobby glancing over at the gas station where the youngest member of the team was currently occupying. The three wordlessly walked towards the small building, finding Buck with the manager.
"Buck, what are you doing?" Bobby demanded as Buck continued to laugh hysterically.
"You've got to see this!" he cackled. "P-play the tape. Come on, one more time."
The manager rewound the tape as Buck jostled and bumped into them. "Wait for it, wait for it."
The tape started to play showing the employee getting wrapped up in the hose. Mariana bit her lip and shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest while Buck descended into another fit of laughter.
"Buck, that man could have been seriously injured," Bobby chastised.
"Yeah, seriously...this is...I'm sorry," Mariana chuckled. The video kept going as the guy was being spun around and around. Hen leaned on Mari, her shoulders shaking with laughter. The more she watched, the funnier it became and soon Mariana was laughing outright.
"This is so unprofessional!" Hen crooned as they descended into another bout of laughter. "I'm not laughing, I'm not!"
Mariana wiped the tears of mirth from under her eyes, her laughter falling away into soft giggles. Buck bumped his shoulder against hers and she darted her hand out, lightly punching him straight in the stomach. Buck let out a grunt and lunged for her but Mariana ducked out of the way with a shriek. The youngest members of the team dashed out of the gas station, poking and shouting at one another like a brother and a sister. Bobby and Hen shared an amused glance before they headed back towards the truck.
An hour later, Mariana found herself seated at the dinner table of the station. Bobby had made chicken and veggies with a promise of ice cream later. The joy she had felt earlier was starting to fade and her usual stoic expression made a reappearance. Bobby was trying to make conversation and was telling them little fun facts about his past while asking questions about their lives.
"Ah, Mari...I noticed you didn't drive yourself in today," he commented. Mariana had been deflecting the conversation all dinner but Athena's words came back to hit her in the gut at that exact moment. She sighed, setting her fork down and glancing at her plate.
"When I'm, uh, stressed or tired or uh, y'know, I can't drive. Well, I can. But the temptation is a bit much. I was almost arrested when I was nineteen and- sorry, I'm not making any sense."
"It's okay, Mari," Hen whispered. Mariana nodded and raised her head to look them all in the eyes.
"I started illegal street racing at fifteen. It was a way to make money, get out of the house, and connect with my papa. I didn't have a crash until I was nineteen. I was a year into nursing school and the training just kicked in. Guy was bleeding out but I guess I stopped it in time because EMS said he would have died if I hadn't acted. Athena arrested me but she saw that I was just some stupid kid who felt like she had no way out of a bad situation. The city didn't press charges thanks to her and it was wiped from the record. First time Athena Grant saved my ass but certainly not the last."
Everyone was silent but no one was staring at her with disdain or judgement. Mariana took a deep breath and looked directly at Bobby as she spoke her next statement.
"Our vices, our addictions, stem from the pain we feel from our past. They're stumbling blocks. We use them because we think they help us feel but in fact, we're just numbing ourselves to the possibility of feeling anything again. I drive because it reminds me of my papa. But I have to remember that racing isn't going to bring him back."
"Did your dad race?" Buck asked, no sign of humor or joking on his face. He was legitimately interested in her story.
"No...he died when I was five. Truck ran a red light and my papa spun the wheel so he got the brunt of the crash. DOA."
"You race because if you crashed..." Hen's statement trailed off at the end. She didn't want to finish the thought.
"Because if I crashed at least I could see him again. Know how much it hurt. He gave his life to save my mama, brother, and I. That used to be my mindset for a while. But after some serious counseling thanks to Athena, I realized that I didn't have to live my life being so angry about everything. He gave his life to save me so now I have the opportunity to do the same. Everyday I put this uniform on...it's a reminder that this is greater than me. That I have a purpose and a belonging here. With my family."
Hen reached across the table and grasped her hands, squeezing them tight as Buck pulled Mari into a tight side hug. Mariana looked up at Bobby to see him smiling at her, a proud look in his eyes. She smiled back, looking as if a small fraction of the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders.
"Does that mean I get to drive the truck from now on?" Buck asked innocently. Mariana snorted out a protesting huff and rolled her eyes.
"Until my therapy appointment tomorrow, yes. But after that, I want my seat back. It's actually kinda cathartic. No one is going to race a firetruck and I get to save people with the thing that once was a danger."
"So, if you don't drink and you don't party and you no longer drive...what do you do for fun?"
A wicked smirk spread across her lips. "It's better to show than tell."
And that is how station 118's engine and paramedic team was roped into serving dinners at a soup kitchen while a group of elderly women fawned over Buck.