Last night had been terrible enough, but the agony of my hangover combined with my broken heart made the morning after even worse. I lay crumpled in a ball, wishing I hadn't woken up at all. As you can probably expect, I cried myself to sleep as soon as the car dropped me off at the guest house. I had heard the other girls return from the club at an ungodly hour, so it appeared that Siyeon had convinced them that I was okay and they should continue the night as planned. She really was a master manipulator. Heck, she had managed to pull on my heartstrings like a master puppeteer without even trying.
I was relieved that nobody had bothered me about my sudden departure yet, but I had a feeling that would soon change. Sure enough, I heard a gentle knock at my door. I remained silent, hoping that whoever it was would take a hint and buzz off. I was not in the mood to talk to anybody about last night. Besides, I'd have to lie to everyone except Siyeon, and I hadn't even told her the whole truth in the bathroom. I would sooner die than have to face her again after our conversation. I'm sure she still had plenty of unfinished business with me, and I was fine with leaving things that way. I held my breath, waiting for whoever was on the other side of my door to go away.
"Bora, I know you're in there. You're only silent when something's bothering you and you want to keep it to yourself. If you were still sleeping, you'd have groaned and told me five more minutes. Can I please come in? I'm worried about you," Minji's voice spoke up.
I sighed and got up to let her in. Minji knew me too well for my own good. At least she wasn't Siyeon. Once she made her entrance, the two of us flopped down on my bed.
"I must be getting old because this is the worst hangover I have ever had in my life. At least I'm better off than Yoohyeon. The poor thing can't even get out of bed!" Minji broke the ice before getting serious and continuing, "Anyways, I'm not here to talk about me. I wanted to check on you. It's not like you to ditch when the party's heating up. You were acting way off last night. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, really. I guess I didn't pace myself. Everything hit me and I wasn't feeling well enough to stick around. I'm sorry for ditching on your bachelorette party," I assured her, patting her hand which was resting on my thigh.
Minji furrowed her eyebrows, "You know you can be honest with me, right? I mean, we've been best friends for over twenty years! I don't want you to feel like you have to brush your feelings aside and pretend everything's fine just because it's my wedding week. I was really worried that maybe you were upset about our kiss. I know we all had too much to drink last night, and Siyeon really shouldn't have suggested that game in the first place, but it shouldn't have to change anything between us. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. You're my best friend and I don't want anything to ruin that," she pleaded.
My eyes widened at her words. Leave it to Minji to be worried about me when I was being selfish and stupid. She really was too good for me. I quickly grabbed her hands and stared at her with earnest.
"I promise that our kiss is not the reason I was so upset last night. I was probably just drunk and PMSing. To be honest, I barely remember what got me all out of sorts like that. Whatever it was, it's really nothing. You should be worrying about the details of your wedding, not about me. I appreciate the concern though. Anyways, I'm gonna spend all day putting the finishing touches on your rehearsal dinner. I want it to be perfect for you because you deserve nothing short of perfection," I assured her.
Minji smiled at me and squeezed my hands. The gesture got me to smile as well. I was content to lie my face off for her sake. After all, she shouldn't be burdened with my stupid problems when just hours ago I had been actively trying to break up her wedding. I didn't deserve her friendship, but I was going to try and redeem myself by making the rest of her wedding experience the best that I could. I wanted to come clean to her about everything, but that would have to wait.
"Bora, you're a good friend. I'm glad that we can move on from last night without making things awkward. Since we're so close, can I tell you something? I've been thinking about this ever since a few nights ago, and it's eating me alive. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I'm not really sure I should be getting married," Minji confessed, biting her lip and awaiting my reaction.
My eyes widened. The plan was working when I least wanted it to! I had to smooth things over.
"You're probably just getting nervous. That's normal for any bride. I know that things didn't always go according to plan the past few days, but you and Yoohyeon love each other, don't you?" I insisted.
Minji sighed, "Of course I love Yoohyeon, but we did sort of rush into this whole thing. I mean, I've only known her for a few months. I've been with my doctor and my hair stylist for longer than that! Besides, I was thinking that maybe all of the drama and disaster this week is a sign from the universe that the wedding should be postponed," she explained.
I shook my head furiously, "Look, things go wrong for a lot of reasons. That doesn't mean the universe is telling you not to get married. Marriages are going to have complications, and as a couple, you and Yoohyeon need to face these challenges together and work through them. I know you've had a good lot in life and things tend to come easily for you. As someone who has had her fair share of adversity, I'm here to tell you that the best thing you can do is work past it. You love Yoohyeon, and your first instinct was to get engaged to her after a magical few months together. Trust that instinct, and let everything else fall into place. I promise that from here on out things will only get better, and I will work my ass off to make sure they do," I told her.
Minji blinked, "Man, you always know exactly what to say! Okay, I'll take your word for it. I'm still scared, but having you in my corner makes me feel better. You sure are a force to be reckoned with, Kim Bora!" she giggled.
"Now, go check on your fiance! She probably needs an aspirin and with her height, she'll need enough water to hydrate the rainforest. I know she's rich, but last I checked there were no servants running about the place taking care of her so that's your job," I joked, patting her shoulder.
Minji gave me a quick hug and a thank-you before heading off to follow my instructions. I smiled as I watched her go, all of my romantic feelings leaving with her. Life sure was funny. A few days ago, I would have jumped at the chance to dissuade her from marrying Yoohyeon. Now I was the biggest supporter of their marriage. I leaned back on my pillow, staring at the ceiling. I let out a chuckle, impressed by my growth as a person.
I was not alone for long. Siyeon stormed into the room shortly after Minji's exit. She looked pissed. I could tell she had been eavesdropping on my conversation. I could care less what she thought. I was finally doing the right thing, and she would have to deal with it. I glared at her, waiting for her to start talking.
"Seriously, you're not gonna say anything to me? I feel like I deserve an explanation for this lovely mark you left on my face last night. Then I come here ready to rip you a new one, and I overhear you telling Minji that she should go through with the wedding? I'm not leaving this room until you explain yourself," Siyeon seethed, firmly planting her feet on the ground and giving me her coldest glare.
"I thought I made myself pretty clear last night that I am done helping you. That means that I actually want this wedding to happen and to see my best friend be happy. I'm sorry that you're still stuck in your childish, selfish delusion that Yoohyeon belongs to you, but I've grown up and realized the truth. Minji and Yoohyeon are in love, and if you still want to try and ruin their wedding, that's your prerogative. Just leave me out of it and let me try to become a better person," I replied in my stiffest tone as I stood up to confront her.
It killed me to watch Siyeon's hurt expression. I had no business talking to her like that when in reality I was just as selfish as she was. Still, I was too afraid to tell her the truth behind my change of heart. Her behavior made it clear that she was still determined to be with Yoohyeon. I don't think it would have helped matters if I ambushed her with my crush on her. I needed to come clean, but not like this. I would rather have her hate me than be forced to have that conversation right now. I steeled myself, trying to look like her reaction to my words didn't even phase me. Siyeon's eyes were filled with pain and her voice wavered with emotion when she was finally able to speak again.
"I may be selfish, but at least I'm not a cold hearted bitch. You have some nerve talking to me as if you're better than me. You know, it's not like I never felt guilty about what we did. Do you know how much I've slept since we agreed to do this? I just keep thinking of that night I almost killed someone for Yoohyeon. Working with you has brought back that side of me and it scares me shitless. Still, I put those feelings aside because I know I can never hide from my sins and to be honest, I don't think I can even pretend to be Yoohyeon's friend after everything I've done. You know, Minji sure won the best friend lottery with how you're running back to her, lying and pretending you've always had her back. You don't even have the guts to tell her what you've been up to the past few days. Whatever, see you at the rehearsal dinner. Try not to fuck it up. Don't worry, I won't do that for you," she spat before storming out of the room.
I was struck speechless by her tirade. Suddenly, my knees were weak and I felt sick to my stomach. I grabbed onto the bed to steady myself, my hands shaking. She hated me, and I couldn't help but feel that I deserved it. She was right about me being a terrible person. How could I face my best friend and pretend I had nothing to do with her sudden doubts about her marriage? Not to mention, the only reason I'd suddenly developed a conscience was because I was in love with someone and afraid of facing her with this information, so instead I lashed out at her. Trying to remedy my behavior would not be enough, I needed to own up to it. I owed it to Minji to tell her the truth. In fact, I owed it to everybody, including myself, to air everything out in the open and clear my conscience.
I made my way over to my laptop and fired it up. My fingers began to type furiously as the words came to me. I saved the file and quickly typed in the name "Rehearsal Dinner Toast" before finalizing the document. I took a deep breath as I shut down the computer. Tomorrow night was certainly going to be something to remember.