I'm not sure why, but ever since I left Eric my head has been in a whirl, I don't know where I'm going or what to do, there's tears running down my face and I'm shaking, and I'm lost. Maybe it's the pain of having to relive the past that I lived through for so long or the fact that someone I thought wanted me dead, was now helping me.
I end up at the one place that I thought I would stay away from for a while. But even though I'm supposed to be mad at him, something has once again drawn me back to him.
Peters apartment.
I knock on the door hesitantly, wondering whether he would be in or not. The silence of the corridor was deafening and the longer I waited the worse the silence got and the faster my heart beats. I was about to walk away when the door opens, and a rather surprised Peter was presented to me.
"Um... Taura... hey." He stutters quietly, gulping at my presence and I see the guilt in his eyes, which makes me feel guilty for earlier.
"I'm sorry, for what I did." I mumble, looking at the floor.
"No, I deserved it. I should of spoke to you." He says and I nod slightly. "Do you want to come in?" He asks with a small smile.
"Please." I respond and he lets me walk past him, closing the door behind us. I don't know why I felt so awkward, but I just stand in the middle of the apartment out of place as Peter watches me.
"Are you alright?" He asks me calmly, moving closer and I feel tears prick my eyes.
"No." I shake my head but my voice was so quiet as I feel yet more tears fall from my eyes. Peter had moved so he was directly infront of me and began stroking my left arm.
"Well what do you want to do?" He asks me, which took me by surprise. "We can do what you like, go for a walk, sit and eat pizza, get drunk whatever." He pulls a small smile to my lips and I briefly consider his options but I all I wanted to do was lay down and forget about everything.
"I think I'm just going to go to bed, I'm a bit tired." I say quietly, scraping my foot on the floor. Peter looks at me sympathetically before pulling a smile to his face which faded before pushing some of my hair behind my ear.
"Okay. You do that, do you want a drink of anything, or something to eat?" He smiles down at me, but I avoid eye contact with him, not wanting him to see me like this again. But I know that's an impossible task, he was Candor, he can see right through me.
"I'm fine, thank you though." I say before walking to his bedroom and collapsing on his bed, burying my head in his pillow, and breathing in his cologne and I instantly burst into tears. My life is an utter hell.
Peter's POV
I had left her on her own for an hour now. I felt like that's what she needed, to be left to cool off however her unusual quietness and awkwardness worried me slightly. She's not the Taura I know.
I sat at the kitchen island, drinking a bottle of water and contemplating the past events. I know I'm the reason for her change in mood, I gave the footage to Eric. Eric made her talk. And now she's like this. Sleeping everything away. I feel terrible.
My phone, that was sat in my jacket pocket began to ring loudly. I pull it out my pocket, confused because it's rare anyone ever calls me. 'No Caller ID' was written over the screen as it continues. This is even stranger.
I click the little green phone and place it next to my ear. "Hello?" I say tentatively down the phone.
"Why are you such a sick bastard?!" Came the voice down the phone, and it's easily recognizable as Four. Great. He must have found out.
"Um..." I stammer, not having chance to come up with a logical response.
"Taura came to me earlier, after both you and Raul had fallen out with her." He informed me rather aggressively. She fell out with Raul? I thought he was supporting her?
"Wait Raul fell out Taura?"
"Yes, but I'm not mad at him, quite frankly I'm not certain what it was about. But I warned you not to hurt her!"
"What did she say to you... exactly?" I ask him, making sure I start making the right excuses.
"She didn't say anything. But Eric rang me just now and told me everything."
"Look I know what I did was wrong, but you saw the CCTV footage as well –"
"Yeah I saw the footage! But I did fuck all with it! The last thing I was going to do was take it to leadership you idiot." He shouts down the phone, making me feel even more guilty.
"Alright, I already feel awful enough, you don't need to rub it in Four," I groan, "did she tell them?"
"No, she left when they started interrogating her. Thank god, the types of things they would have asked!" That's a relief. However, worries me slightly. If she's not upset about that, then what the hell has happened?
"I get it, look I apologised and we're okay now so you can stop having a go at me." I scoff, really wanting to end this lecture.
"Is she with you?"
"Yeah, she came to me." I say with slight triumph in my words.
"Is she okay?" I would have said yes so he would shut up. But this time, I probably shouldn't lie, I could do with Fours advice.
"No, not particularly." I sigh.
"She didn't tell you?" Four asked with a bemused voice.
"She hasn't really said much. It's worrying me, was she meant to tell me something?"
"I think you should talk to her. Eric told me something you're not going to like." He says more calmly, but I become more panicked.
"What is it?"
"Eric found Sam threatening Taura. He had a knife to her neck and was groping her leg. Eric got him off her but apparently she was rather unsettled, as you would expect." Fuck! I felt anger pace through me as I turned to look at the door Taura was behind. As soon as I get my hands on him, he is dead meat.
"Are you kidding me?! When will he stop?!"
"He won't. And Taura knows that. She spoke to Eric afterwards. Look, don't freak out. At least not at Taura or in front of her. She will act strong, but she's terrified of him. She won't talk to me, but she will talk to you. Just please look after her." Four tells me directly. I understand what he means, there's something much darker going on than just a sexual assault – which is already dark enough – and Taura knows exactly what is, and I can't imagine how awful that must be, knowing that someone/s have an agenda against you.
"I will." I say with a gulp before hanging up. I stand there, against the kitchen island not really sure how to feel. A mixture of anger, guilt, confusion and pain. It was awful. I wanted just to scream. I grip the phone tighter before throwing it across the room in anger, watching it skid across the floor.
"Fuck!" I curse to myself trying to let the anger out.
I let myself cool off for the next 30 minutes, knowing that I should talk to Taura and that whatever she's feeling is a hell of a lot worse than the emotions I'm feeling. And I had to remember that. I can't let her see me cave, I have to be strong for her now.
I push my bedroom door open, expecting to hear either complete silence or the quiet sounds of slumber. But I hear neither. Instead, I heard faint sobs and rasped breathing coming from the rather drained figure of my girlfriend. She was lied face down on the bed, her face buried into the pillow with her hands draped loosely above her head weakly gripping the corners of the case fabric. She wasn't under the duvet, in fact the duvet looked untouched, she just lied flat atop of the bed with her left leg slightly arched which caused my shirt to rise to her hips. Her legs were left exposed, the bruised and scratched flesh visible, making her skin look slightly dull. She was beautiful, yet a wreck. A beautiful wreck. And I felt unadulterated love yet sorrow for this girl.
I close the door behind me, and sit next to her on the bed, resting my back against the head rest, looking down at her figure, watching her shoulders shake with her sobs. She hadn't seemed to recognise my presence, not stirring or looking at me, even briefly.
"So, you're awake?" I say gently, nudging her arm with my elbow lightly. She stops sobbing suddenly, and raises her head from the pillow, allowing me to see her face. And the sight destroyed me.
Her face was red, and tear stained with strands of her black hair dampened and stuck to her face with tears. But looking into her eyes was the worst part. They weren't the emerald green I was used to, instead they were dull and emotionless, her eyelids swollen and red. "Did you sleep at all?" I ask her gently, swiping a strand of her hair off her pretty face. I learnt in Candor that sometimes the best way to approach someone about their feelings, is to first not approach them at all. Make them feel safe and comfortable.
She drops her head back onto the pillow and began sobbing more loudly this time. I end up lying down on my side facing her, rubbing her back softly with my hand, trying my best to comfort her.
"Awh babe, shhh, it's okay, you let it out." I whisper to her before kissing her ear lightly through her hair. "Guessing you never actually went to sleep huh? I'm sorry, I should of came and checked on you earlier, I thought it would have been best to let you cool off yourself for a bit." I tell her, but she doesn't respond just continues to sob which is okay, if this is what she needs then I will let her cry with no questions.
She rolled over onto her side, so she was facing me still with tears streaming from her eyes. My hand had moved from her back to the side of her waist, but I continue to gently rub her muscles. I give her a smile, the best I could master, attempting to show her that it's going to be okay, although I'm not sure how true that really is. "There's that pretty face I came in here looking for." I tell her flirtingly, brushing the rest of the hair off her face along with a few stray tears and then placing a kiss to her forehead.
"I-I-I..." she stammers, trying to find words to say to me.
"Shhh, it's okay. You don't need to say anything to me yet. Just relax Apples." I give her a reassuring smile and she wraps her arms around my chest, pulling her self against me. I do the same, I wrap my arms around her waist tightly, pressing her body further against mine, giving her the security she needed.
"I-I'm scared." She gasps through sobs rather quietly like she was embarrassed to say it. She shouldn't be, I'm not going to judge her. "I'm so scared of him." Taura repeated and I immediately know who she's talking about, but I won't assume and put words in her mouth.
"Scared of who?" I ask gently back to her.
"S-sam." She hiccups, balling my shirt into her hands and I do the same with the shirt she was wearing.
"Why's that?" I ask, but immediately mentally slap myself for asking a question with such an obvious answer.
"He-He's going to kill me." She begins crying loudly. I have to admit, that wasn't the exact answer I was expecting. What the hell did he say to her.
"Shhhh, shhh. No, he's not, not on my watch." I sooth, but even I feel little comfort in my own words.
"He is!" She says more desperately, and I realise how desperately frightened she is.
"No, Apples he's not-"
"You don't understand!" She raises her head from my chest, and I give her a confused look. "He knows my father." She says quietly before returning her head to my chest. A sudden realization hit me over the situation. This was an outside job. And Sam is their pawn.
I was about to ask her how he knew Moriarty, but then remembered that she doesn't know that I know who her father is.
"How... do you know that?"
"He was here." She says, her frail body trembling lightly again.
"Who was?" I ask.
"My dad. In this apartment." She says and I feel my facial expression change. In my apartment? It all kind of makes sense now. Sams run in with Taura that morning. The door lock. The seizure. The drugs. All to weaken her and make her vulnerable so Moriarty could get to her. Just like Raul said.
"Taura, who is your father?" I ask cautiously and she looks at me frightened.
"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone." She tells me firmly, locking eyes with me.
"I promise, no one will know." I brush a hand into her hair.
"He- He's..." she pauses to take a deep breath, "Moriarty." She presses her head back to my chest as I cradle her.
Even though this wasn't new news to me, I had to act surprised.
"As in James Moriarty?"
"Yes."
"Oh okay..." I mutter, trying my best to act shocked. Then I realised this was probably the best time to get the story out of her. "Apples, I want you to tell me everything." I whisper to her gently and I feel her body go stiff, "Listen, listen. I want you to tell me what happened when Moriarty was here, and I want you to tell me exactly what happened with Sam earlier. And, so it's fair, I will listen and not say anything until you want me to, and I'm not going to judge you or freak out no matter how bad what your going to tell me is. I'm here to help you, but you've got to let me in." I try to make her feel comfortable so she will actually tell me. She pulls herself out of my grip and rolls back onto her back, I move to lean over her slightly, so I always had my eyes on her. She seemed hesitant at first but then placed a hand on the bicep of my arm, which I kept over her waist, and gave me a week smile.
"Okay."
"He told me that he would get away with it every single time because I'm his and he can control how I act." She tells me, with now numb and dry expressions. "And the scariest thing is that he's not wrong." She looks at me, in my eyes briefly.
"Not wrong about what? That he can control you?" I ask carefully, stroking a hand over the side of her face and analysing her expressions. She nods faintly and I sigh slightly, not too sure how to respond. "I don't think he can control you."
"He knows everything, Peter. Everything." I can't tell her she's wrong, because she's not. Based on what's she's told me, he does know. Probably more than even she knows.
"I know, I know he does." I say, biting my lip.
"Maybe he won't kill me, but he has the ability to make my life a hell, ruin me and run me out this place. And that's the scariest part about it, because no one can do anything about it." It hurts to hear her speak like this. But it hurts even more to know that I'm almost powerless in this situation.
"No ones going to run you out of here. You're not going anywhere, I don't care who I have to kill." I inform her firmly, although still pull a smile. It's true, I would kill anyone if it means she's safe. Even Raul.
"I should have never come here, it was a mistake." She says, looking down at her hands.
"If you didn't come here, I would still be the same messed up perverted douchebag I was 2 weeks ago." I giggle lightly, hoping to cheer her up.
"You still are a douchebag." She raises an eyebrow with a small smirk, moving one of her hands to caress the skin of my cheek which sends shivers around my body.
"Okay, maybe, but I'm still less of a douchebag. Besides, you belong here, heart and head your dauntless. No matter what anyone tells you." I reassure her truthfully, but she gives me a funny look.
"I don't know..." she sighs.
"Oh come on, you're a complete badass!" I boast with a grin, eliciting a short laugh out of her which was good to see. I loved these moments with her, actually I love every moment with her, but those when I could tease her and make her feel good about her self and see her smile; were the best. However, moments like this don't last and it's not long until I'm reminded of the worry and concern I have for her right now. She is not herself, and clearly hasn't been for a while.
"I forgot to mention, Eric is restarting my training, as of tomorrow." She mentions almost passively but slightly more cheerfully. Restarting her training now seems a little odd, it's not been nearly enough recovery time from her seizure and if Eric's so aware of the incidents going on in her life, surely, he would know it's probably not a good idea putting her under that much pressure?
"Really, already? Are you sure you're up for that?" I ask with a worried expression.
"Yeah, I mean, Im not in any pain or discomfort from my seizure anymore and it would be a bit of a distraction from everything I suppose." She smiles, truly convinced with what she was saying. I gulp back some anxiety I had over the situation before pressing a tender kiss to her lips.
"You shouldn't push yourself too much, you need the rest as well." I say as I pull away from her, admiring her face and beauty, "but if your okay with it, then I am too. I think it's incredibly brave that your able to get back up on your feet and give Sam a big 'fuck you'." I smirk half heartedly before pressing my lips back to hers.
She pulls away from me this time, "are you working tomorrow?" She asks me.
"No, which makes my day even worse because you won't be here to keep me entertained." I pout slightly, pulling an exaggerated moody expression at her.
"Well maybe we should do something when I've finished." She suggests, which catches me by surprise.
"Like what?" I smirk, wrapping my arms underneath her and around her waist, pulling her against me.
"Why don't you leave that to me?" She smiles with a devilish look in her eyes which puts butterflies in my stomach.
"I can't tell if I like or dislike where this is going." I laugh
"You'll have to wait and see then."
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A/N:
Hope your all well :)
Thank you for reading and as usual votes and comments are appreciated :)