Boy, you know you did that.
Made me feel like you had my back.
I need you to know I got you.
And you ain't never gotta doubt that.
SHAREEF
Moving had been in the works ever since we found out Jalyn had been killed. The hurt of walking past her room and knowing she wasn't in there was just too much. That shit was too much for me so I know it was way too much for Trinity and Kairi. That shit still felt surreal like there's just no way.
Jalyn being killed made me and Trinity feel like we had failed her in so many ways. Trinity and I spent so many nights talking about what we could've done different or what we would take back, but how can you prepare for something you never saw coming?
Losing Jalyn especially how we lost her hurt just as much as it would if it had been Salem. I don't think this pain ever gone go away.
She really had her entire life ahead of her. She had so much potential to be great. She just needed the love and support. Unfortunately, she searched for that love in a man that murdered her in cold blood and he still ain't confessed or shown remorse. I don't care what lies she told, she was a child. All we can do is learn from this experience and make sure nothing happens to our other two.
Anyways while all this had been going on, I had gotten drafted by the Lakers. Trinity and I came up with the agreement that her, Salem, and Kairi would stay in Louisiana while the trial was going on while I was in California house hunting.
The trial ended up lasting longer than we expected so Kairi gave birth in Louisiana which pushed the move even further back. We didn't want to move her and the baby until Kairi was fully healed and the baby was old enough to fly on a plane.
Recently, they moved into the house that I had found for us. It felt good to finally all be living in the same house again after all these months. I missed waking up and seeing my daughter every morning or giving her kisses and tucking her in before she went to sleep. Of course, I missed my baby and our other child, too.
-
I woke up and Trinity was still asleep in my arms. I slid from under her and got up to go in the bathroom. I peed and washed my hands. Then, I washed my face and brushed my teeth before going back into the bedroom.
Trinity was still asleep, but my baby was always tired. Between helping with Jalen and Salem not sleeping through the night, she was restless. We're trying to get Salem accustomed to sleeping in her own bed, but some nights she just doesn't want anything to do with her big girl bed. That little girl will literally cry all night until one of us comes and gets her. Even if we try to lay with her or rub her back until she goes to sleep, she wakes up as soon as we try to leave the room.
I try to help when and where I can, but she presses that I get my sleep so I ain't lagging at practices.
I turned Trinity softly on her back. I lifted my shirt above her waist and spread her legs. Her pussy looked so pretty. She had just got it waxed.
I felt her body tremble as I separated her lips and started to French kiss her clit.
I knew she was starting to fully wake up because she started rotating her hips and moaning. I licked my fingers before sliding them into her. I fingered her while I sucked on her clit. I smirked as she started running her fingers through my hair.
I slid my fingers out and focused on flicking my tongue on her clit over and over. As her legs tightened around my head, I wanted her eyes roll back and her jaw drop. She held my head in place as she came down from her orgasm.
When her body relaxed, I slid from in between her legs so I could take off my shorts. I took off my shorts and boxes and my dick sprung out. He was definitely ready to go.
I grabbed her by her legs and pulled her to the edge of the bed. I spread her legs and slowly slid into her. I watched her gasp like it was out first time.
I could feel her getting wetter and I stroked her. Truthfully it had been so long since I had gotten to take my time and make love to my woman that I thought I was gone nut quick as fuck. I maintained a slower stroke so that I wouldn't buss too quick. The way she was creaming on my dick and trying to suppress her moans was so sexy.
When I couldn't hold it anymore, I sped up my pace. I pulled the shirt up so that her titties were out. I was enjoying watching them bounce as a reaction to my strokes.
I took the time to show love to both of her nipples which I knew she would enjoy. Then, I started to suck on her neck.
I felt the nut reaching the tip of my dick and started pounded into her. At this point, we're both moaning.
As I nutted, her pussy started gripped my dick even tighter. It was a feeling that I couldn't explain other than it felt too good. After we had stood still for about a minute or so, I slowly slid out of her. I went into the bathroom to wipe myself off. I also wet a rag.
I took the wet rag and wiped her off. Then, I wiped the nut off the sheets. I dropped the rag in the dirty clothes and climbed back in bed beside Trinity. She snuggled up under me and gave me a kiss.
"Good morning, baby."
"Good morning, beautiful."
As if on cue, I could hear Salem crying from her room.
"I got her."
I slid on a pair of shorts and left out of the bedroom. I went down the hall to Salem's room.
When I opened the door, she looked over at me and her cries stop. She lifted her arms up for me to pick her up.
"Dada!"
I lifted her out of her crib and kissed her forehead.
"Good morning, fat mama."
She laid her head on my chest.
I carried her back into our bedroom. Trinity was changing the sheets. She paused when she seen Salem. She walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Good morning, mommy's baby."
"Tell mommy that you're daddy's baby."
Salem just giggled. Then, she started to squirm so she could get down. I put her down and she immediately started getting into shit.
"Aht aht aht. Come on. We're going downstairs. You can have a field day with your toys downstairs, but we're not making a mess in mommy and daddy's room this early."
She looked at me and poked her lip out.
"Come on."
I extended my hand and she walked over to me. She wrapped her little hand around my fingers and we walked out of the bedroom with Trinity following behind.
When we got downstairs, Shaqir had Jalen laying on his chest and Kairi was in the kitchen cooking. I sat down on the couch and Trinity went in the kitchen.
"It must be February 30th because Kairi ass in the kitchen."
"Girl, boo. Don't try and play me like I don't know how to cook."
"Your cookbook very slim."
"Baby!"
Salem ran over to Shaqir. He lifted her up onto the couch so she could sit beside him. She scooted back and held her arms out so she could hold Jalen. Shaqir laughed before laying him in her arms. Salem was as happy as can be. She kissed Jalen on his forehead. After she got some holding time in, I picked up Jalen. I sat down and held him in my arms. He looks just like Shaqir.
Shaqir sat Salem in his lap.
"I checked on you this morning. Uncle Qir proud of you for sleeping on your own bed like a big girl."
She started babbling as if they were really having a conversation.
Salem's favorite people seemed to be my dad and Me'Arah, but ever since Jalen was born, it has been Shaqir. She loves spending time with him and "baby".
When breakfast was ready, I put Jalen in his swing and Salem in her high chair. Trinity had put some food she cut up on the table of her high chair and then, the rest of us fixed our plates. We all held hands including Salem and blessed the food before eating.
"The family coming over later. We cooking or we ordering food?"
"I'm the only one in the house that know how to cook so where is the we?"
"You have no faith in my cooking abilities. My cooking probably better than yours."
"Nah. My baby be throwing down in the kitchen. Only other people got her beat is my mama and her grandma."
-
TRINITY
When I got up to get the door, of course Salem was on my heels. I sung who's at the door to myself as I was opening it.
"Nana!"
"Hey, my baby."
Mama scooped her up into her arms and gave her kisses. Salem couldn't stop laughing. Mama gave me a hung and walked into the house. I hugged everyone else as they walked into the house. Once everyone had come in, I walked back into the living room.
It was like everyone was taking turns holding Salem and Jalen.
I was just happy to be surrounded by family because this last year had been every bit of eventful and stressful. We really hadn't spent much time with the family in a while because we didn't want to spread the dark cloud = we had been sad and overwhelmed; we didn't want to spread that negative energy into our families.
We were all mourning Jalyn's death. Then, Shareef got drafted and had to go out of state to look for our new home. We couldn't go with him because Kairi was at the final stretch of her pregnancy so she wasn't cleared to travel. The family came out to Louisiana for Thanksgiving and the birth of Kairi's baby. Shaqir ended up moving in to help out since Shareef was going to be busy with basketball.
We didn't get to spend Christmas or Shareef's birthday as a family because of the constant snowing in California. I was scared that Shareef wouldn't get to be there for Salem's first birthday so I was stressed about that. Luckily, we were able to California before her birthday.
We didn't get to have the party we would've wanted for her because we couldn't plan anything due to the uncertain weather conditions. Unfortunately, this meant that Kairi, Shaqir, and Jalen didn't get to be there for Salem's first birthday because Kairi and Jalen hadn't been cleared to travel. I was definitely sad about that.
The relief I felt when we were finally all moved into the same house was unreal. I missed my man something crazy and not getting to spend Valentine's Day with him had me sad as fuck.
-
The men were downstairs and all the women were upstairs playing with the baby and watching a movie. He was truly the most precious little baby. He almost had me ready to give Salem a sibling, almost. He looks just like his daddy and so far had his daddy's personality. Jalen is a very chill baby which he had to have gotten from Shaqir because Kairi little loud ass be on 10 all the time.
Salem was snuggled up on my lap and I could tell she was falling asleep. I liked to enjoy the moments she clung to me because she was truly a daddy's girl. She gotta do everything he do and be under him all the time.
"Man, I still can't believe Shaqir is a dad."
"Me either. Qir is childish. I'm glad he matured because I wasn't so sure about him and this dad thing at first."
"Well, I knew he would be an amazing dad because he's a great boyfriend. I guess y'all just never get to see that side of him and clearly didn't think he had it in him. At least he gotta solid one on his team."
"Don't try to act like you know him better or you go harder for him because he done stuck some dick in you and gave you a baby, the fuck."
"Exactly. I said what I said. I know my brother better than he probably knows himself. Don't ever forget that blood thicker than water."
"Alright. Y'all calm down. It's not that serious."
"I gave him his first child so I hold a special place in his heart. I'm sure he would choose me over you if it came down to it. Don't compete where you can't compare."
"You're a babymama not a wife. Humble yourself mamas before you get your feelings hurt."
"So Trinity just a babymama, too?"
"Don't drag my sis into this. She gotta ring."
"Don't compete where you can't compare, remember?"
"Bitch - "
"Alright. Y'all chill the fuck out because this really started over nothing and we're not about to start no riot in front of these babies."
"Stop trying to embody your sister's personality because grieving isn't a pass on getting that ass beat."
"Big bitches, tall bitches, small bitches, all bitches can get beat the fuck up. Don't let my size fool you. I don't do all this talking in real life."
"And you've never been in a fight in real life. You wanna be like Jalyn and Trinity so bad. Little baby, you ain't got heart like that."
"Little baby? I'm older than you. You the one talking shit like you tryna see what's up."
"I dare you to put your hands on my sister. I really do."
"You're a bitch in real life. I can't wait for Shaqir to see your true colors and drop you like an egg. When he's done with you, best believe we making sure he gets full custody of Jalen."
"Ain't neither of my boys going anywhere so don't hold your breath."
"Alright the arguing is done. Hopefully, everyone got what they needed to say in because I'm tired of hearing the back and forth. Agreed to disagree. Y'all do not even have to speak to each other. We're not going to create a negative environment filled with animosity for these babies to grow up in. Amirah and Kairi, y'all are grown. Kairi, you are somebody's mother. Y'all should be setting the example."
"Kairi, just go to your room."
"Why the fuck are me and Jalyn always the ones at fault? Why do I have to go to my room? Why can't you just kick them out? This is my house!"
"It's clear you need some time to cool down so go calm down in your room."
"I'm not a child. You don't get to send me away like one."
"You're still a dependent living under my roof so yes, I have every right to send you to your room."
She snatched Jalen out of Mama's arms.
"Now, I see why Jalyn felt like she did. You're unbelievable."
"Kairi, cut the bullshit before you piss me off."
"What you gone do? Hit me with my son in my arms? Please do so I can call the police and sue you."
I laid Salem in Amirah's arms before getting up off the couch. Kairi quickly went up the stairs.
"That's what the fuck I thought."
I sat back down on the couch.
"Im really tryna like her for my brother and nephew's sake, but she really wanna get touched."
"I hope it's just her hormones readjusting post baby."
"She had Jalen 4 months ago. Them hormones realigned. She's just disrespectful."
"I'll really end her white house with a picket fence fantasy. She ain't pouring that negative ass energy into my brother."
"But did y'all see how she came and snatched the baby because she gotta attitude? If Shaqir even decided he don't wanna be with her, she's going to be acting like he can't see his son and she want all this child support."
"I'm gone have a talk with her, but let's not gaslight her. The last thing I need is her trying to run off with the baby. She ain't been right ever since she lost her sister so ain't no telling what stunts she will pull."
KAIRI
I put Jalen down on the bed and walked out of the room. I went down the steps on the other end of the house. Surprisingly, the boys weren't in the basketball court so I kept looking throughout the downstairs. I finally found them outside on the patio. Myles was DJing. Shaq and Shareef were on the grill. Shaqir was vining to the music, sitting at one of the tables. I sat down with him.
"What's up? Why you ain't with the women?"
"Because them bitches you call your sisters just tried to hang up on me for defending you."
"Watch that bitch word when you speaking on my sisters."
"I said what I said. You need to be checking them for calling you a bad father."
"Stop capping. My sisters wouldn't have said that shit."
"They definitely did though. Then, they started saying I'm just your babymama and they're going to convince you to take Jalen away from me."
"If they said I'm a bad father, why would they want me to take Jalen? You see how that shit don't make sense? Don't come out here tryna talk shit about my sisters and accuse them of talking shit when your story ain't even together."
"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"
"Kairi, get out my face before you piss me off."
"I don't like the way you're acting right now."
"That makes two of us. I'm trying to enjoy time with my family that I haven't seen because I've been trying to cater to you. At least save your bullshit until they leave."
"Shaqir Rashaun O'Neal, I know your mama ain't raise you to talk the mother of your child like you crazy."
"You been on some shit for months. Shareef keeps telling me to be patient with you because you just had a baby, but Trinity didn't act like this. Trinity wasn't a bitch before, during, or after her pregnancy."
"Trinity didn't lose her baby sister!"
"And you think Jalyn being killed entitled you to walk around like the world owes you something? I'm tired of you treating everyone including me like you do so if we didn't have a son, best believe we wouldn't be together. It's one thing to disrespect me but I don't play about my sisters."
He wouldn't be with me if we didn't have a son? The fuck?
I picked up his cup and slung the juice on him before throwing the cup at him. Before I could get my shoe off, I was grabbed by Myles and Shareef stood in front of Shaqir.
"I don't fucking need you! You ain't never gotta see my son again!"
TRINITY
We were all lounging on the couch watching tv when Shareef and Shaqir walked in from the back of the house. Shaqir was wet and he looked pissed.
"Baby, what happened?"
"Kairi come outside talking shit about MiMi and Me'Arah so we started going back and forth. I told her that her attitude lately isn't acceptable, but I'm trying to make things work for the sake of our son. She throws my drink on me and starts screaming about how I don't ever have to see her son again."
"Kairi is supposed to be upstairs in her room, calming down. What the fuck is she doing outside?"
Realizing that Kairi had been outside this whole time, I went upstairs to check on Jalen. I hadn't really heard him fussing and I was sure he was probably hungry by now.
When I opened Kairi's bedroom door, Jalen was laying face down on her bed. I quickly rushed over to him and turned him over. I tapped the bottom of his foot, but his body didn't respond.
"Shareef!"
I started giving him CPR. I started to cry because he still wasn't responding.
"Shareef!"
I heard him running up the stairs.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"Call 911! Jalen isn't breathing!"
He ran out the room and I continued to try and resuscitate Jalen. When Shareef back upstairs, he had the whole house with him. Everyone was crying and/or scared, but of course Kairi was doing the most. She had to fall all over the bed, hollering and crying. Shaqir pulled her back.
"Back the fuck up! I told you about leaving him on his stomach!"
"I wasn't thinking!"
"You never are!"
"Now is not the time for y'all to be arguing!"
I continued CPR on Jalen until the paramedics came.
"What's the child's name?"
"Jalen. Jalen O'Neal."
"How old is he?"
"4 months."
"Who discovered him laying face down?"
I raised my hand.
"Do we know approximately how long he was laying in this position?"
We all looked over at Kairi. She shrugged her shoulders before rolling her eyes and walking out of the room.
"Probably at least 20 minutes."
"Was that the mother?"
"Yes."
"Where is the father?"
Shaqir raised his hand.
"Being that he was deprived of oxygen for so long, it is unlikely that if we can resuscitate him, he will recover."
"Charge the paddles."
They shocked his little body several times, but he never came to.
Shareef pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. We held the hug for a moment before I went over to Shaqir. I just held him as he cried. Unfortunately, I knew the pain he was feeling.
We just stood there in disbelief and sadness as we watched them zip his little body into a black bag. We followed them outside as they put him in the back of the ambulance. When we walked back in the house, Kairi was sitting on the couch watching tv as if nothing had just happened. Shaqir looked like he wanted to knock her head off so I made sure they were separated before I pulled Shareef upstairs.
"Right now is not the time to be tryna be nasty."
"Boy, ain't nobody trying to be nasty with you. I pulled you in here so we can talk 1 on 1."
"What's wrong?"
"Kairi needs to be admitted to somebody's mental hospital. It's clear she's suffering from depression after losing Jalyn, add postpartum depression to that. When she realizes her son has died and she was the reason, she is going to break. We need to intervene early before she hurts herself if someone else."
-
Kairi started throwing a violent tantrum when EMS came to get her. Her behavior was so bad that they had to sedate her. The whole situation was hard to watch, but I was trying to save her from herself. It was clear that she was going through something and needed help.
"I'm not crazy! Trinity, please don't let them take me! Please!"
She was crying and so was I but it had to be done. I blew her a kiss as they carried her out of the front door. Shareef shut and locked the door behind EMS. I wiped my eyes and went upstairs. Mama was playing with Salem in her nursery. I picked her up off the floor and just held her. Mama wrapped her arms around me and I started to cry hard. She rubbed my back. Salem mimicked her and started rubbing my arm.
The nursery room door crept open and Shareef was standing in the doorway. He came in and took Salem out of my arms. He kissed her forehead before giving her to Mama. Mama took her out of the room.
Shareef embraced me into a hug and I cried into his chest.
"I keep failing at this mom shit."
"Baby, you're an amazing mother. Jalyn and Kairi have been fighting demons that they were dealt before they came into our care. We have been our best to health them. I promise this isn't your fault."
"I love you so much."
"I love you more. Now, come lay down. You've had a long day."
We went to our bedroom and laid on top of the bed. We were spending quality time catching up on our shows.
Me'Arah and Shaqir came in with Salem and got on the bed. Salem was laying in the cup of Shareef's arm, Shaqir was stretched across the end of the bed, and Me'Arah was laying on the outer edge of the bed beside me. This is honestly the most serene I have felt all day.
"I guess we'll resume the family cookout tomorrow."
"You just suffered two losses in the same day. Are you sure you wanna be bothered with a cookout?"
"Being surrounded by family is the one thing I need most right now."
"I hate this shit for you, lil' bro."
"I hate this shit for me too. I loved my son more than anything."
"Now, you have a guardian angel. I'm sure my nephew gone be running circles and dropping buckets on all the little babies in heaven."
Shaqir started to break down.
"This shit ain't fair, man!"
"Baby, can you give us a minute?"
I nodded and picked up Salem off of the bed. Me'Arah followed me out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind us. We went downstairs into the lounge to play the game.
SHAREEF
I got off the bed and walked around it. I pulled Shaqir up and into a hug. He just cried and that shit hurt me.
"Is this God punishing me for not wanting to be a dad at first? Is this my punishment for telling Kairi that our son is the only reason we were still together?"
"Qir, everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was intended for Jalen to only be in your life for a short period a time. Maybe he was given to you and Kairi to teach you both something. I don't think Jalen's death was a punishment.
Being a father matured you. It showed you that you and Kairi are unlikely to be soulmates. It allowed for Kairi to get help before you hurt you or herself, mentally or physically.
I'm not saying Jalen should've died, but look at the good things that Jalen taught you during his lifetime. He taught you unconditional love. He taught you responsibility. He taught you patience. He kept you smiling. These are lessons and memories you will have forever."