With my hands on his hips, I guided Nate backwards until he fell into the sofa, never once releasing my lips as he kissed me, easing my bottom lip open but I refused him access as I pulled away. Straddling him, I quickly unbuttoned his shirt and slipped his tie free. He all too eagerly tugged his shirt from his arms and tossed it to the floor, hands instantly seeking out the button of my jeans and quickly unzipping me.
I leaned back just far enough, without falling off the edge, to give him a little more room to move. He slowly grew frustrated that he couldn't quickly and efficiently get my jeans off while in the current position, so he flipped me onto my back so that he was now kneeling between my legs on the floor. I shuffled further up the sofa until I was sitting on it comfortably, only to find that I was being pulled back down by Nate as he fought to get my jeans off.
Soon he'd completely discarded my boxers and wrapped his fingers around the base of my cock, licking a hot stripe up the length of my shaft, swirling his tongue around the head and suddenly my brain turned into one of those bloody debate shows, so as Nate was fucking deep-throating meand although all my attention was supposed to be on that––because fuck, I was getting my first blowjob from the guy and it was god damn amazing––yet instead, I was having a mental war with myself, that went a little like this:
Oh, fuck, that feels so good––shit, I should have checked in on Alex, I haven't seen the kid in a whole day––oh man, yeah just like that, what a fucking mouth––you shouldn't be enjoying it this as much, pull yourself together, it's your job and you need to think about Loga– no, no don't think about Logan––oh Jesus Christ Lord help me that's incredible...
And my thoughts pretty much continued down that same road of confused emotions and indecisive thoughts with the occasional moan and maybe, maybe, a slight whimper here and there. Thoughts of Logan practically dominated my mind.
I briefly wondered what it would be like to have Logan's mouth around me instead of Nate's––and shit, that got me exploding down Nate's throat, surprising both myself and Nate. It left me feeling like I was fifteen and getting head for the first time, all over again.
Nate sighed all satisfied and smug, as if he thought the fact that I came so fast was all down to him. I didn't have the heart to let him know I was actually thinking about someone else. He collapsed into the sofa beside me, palm laying flat against his crotch, eyes lazily staring in my direction.
“Need a hand?” I offered, smirking around the words and nodding my head towards his crotch. He chuckled, almost shyly, before shifting his hand away and revealing a little patch on his jeans that told me he'd actually come in his pants. Some mid-thirties guy, clearly one that had been around the block quite a bit, had come in his pants. At least I probably wasn't the only one feeling like a fifteen year old all over again. It was kinda hot, if I was honest.
“Couldn't help myself, pleasure looks amazing on you and sounds even better,” he said, grinning. He still sounded out of breath. I hid my face in embarrassment, shielding his view from the obvious blush that was staining my face.
Nate's fingers curled around my jaw, turning my face back towards his, before returning it to his lap where his other hand was resting patiently. There was a long gap of silence where I stared at him and he stared back, completely lost in our thoughts. I kept trying to shrug off this one, nagging question that was practically begging me to be asked.
Eventually I couldn't hold back any more and with everything silent, there was nothing stopping me from doing so. I decided it was a pretty good ice-breaker, not to mention a relevant question that I reckon deserved an answer.
It was, “What made you rent me?” after seeing Nate's lips press together and his brows furrow, I added, “I mean, obviously you didn't specifically ask for me, but I mean, you could get anyone you wanted...what with your, you know, richness and...you know,” I cleared my throat awkwardly, “good, uhh, good looks,”
He studied me for a moment, a small surface smile at the corners of his lips. He said, “Truthfully, I did specifically ask for you,”
I was shocked at his answer, apparently my understanding of the English language went out the window because Nate may as well have been speaking in another language. How could he have specifically asked for me? He'd never even met me before? I was pretty sure I'd remember him if I'd ever been of service to him before all this.
“I saw you one day,” he started, catching my attention and silencing my thoughts, “you were entering a cheap hotel with some shady-looking bloke. It wasn't really that hard to figure out what you did for a career. I don't know why I wanted to know you so badly. You intrigued me. And I suppose I saw you with that guy and thought, well, I could give you better,” he further explained, a cocky grin on his lips. “Of course, your appearance isn't exactly one of your weak points. That was originally what caught my eye in the first place. Call me perverted, but you're a damn good sight,” he winked, grinning cheekily at me.
His confession had me questioning what it was both Logan and Nate saw in me. Logan merely renting me to get to know me and Nate renting me because I intrigued him, so practically for the same reason. What the fuck was up with that? I wasn't intriguing, there was nothing special about me. I was just some regular, screwed up kid, yet clearly everyone else was seeing something completely different to who I was, each time I looked in the mirror.
“So what do you want from me?” I found myself asking.
“I don't want anything from you. I just want to know you,”
“And screw me,” I added without thinking, the words throwing themselves out of my mouth before I could catch them. It had Nate chuckling, instead of denying. We sat wordlessly yet again, for another few minutes which was when I took the liberty in pulling my jeans back on.
“You can shower if you want, and you're welcome to make yourself at home,” I nodded in thank, rubbing at the back of my neck nervously. “Oh,” he continued, “I bought you some new clothes, if that was okay to do? I was getting myself some and realised they were a bit too small. They look as though they would fit you, if you'd care to try them on?”
I glanced down at my shitty t-shirt that had a hole in the bottom left corner of it and thought, well, if he wasn't going to get any use out of them, then why not? I realised he was waiting on an answer and said, “Oh, I mean, that's really nice of you. Thanks, I guess,” it came out with a slight stutter. I felt pretty ashamed, actually.
I shouldn't have to be bought clothes, even if it was just a nice gesture from the guy. I felt like a charity store. Always fucking feeling like a charity. Always. Sometimes I just wished I could go out into the town and buy my own damn clothes.
I ended up allowing my mind to drift back to Logan, when he offered to give me some of his clothes. I could feel myself getting angry and told myself that I needed to chill out, it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't something I should get worked up over. I was probably taking the gestures of kindness in the completely wrong way, as to how they were intended.
Maybe a shower would help to calm me down. So I said, “Can I take you up on that shower?” five seconds after I'd spoken was when I realised how that question sounded – like I was asking Nate to join me, when really all I meant was...dammit. I should have just asked if I could go take a shower. I wasn't all that horny any more, but it wasn't like I could turn him down if he was up for it.
I was expecting that little smirk and cheeky wink before a cocky sure left his lips and he pulled me off into the en-suite that he always loved to disappear into, post-sex. Instead it was, “Absolutely. Towels and whatever you need are already in there, but if it isn't then just shout me and, if I have to, I'll run out to the stores and get it,” he chuckled in that way he does, all husky and deep, “I'll get those clothes out and put them on the bed for you,”
“Okay, thanks,” I mumbled, slightly disappointed he didn't want to join me. He directed me through the bedroom, towards the en-suite. After he laid the clothes out, he left me to myself and I wasted no time in shutting the bathroom door and starting the shower.
The bathroom wasn't all that big, it was a lot smaller than what I'd expected but I liked it the way it was. As you walked in, there was a long mirror that ran along the left side of the wall, two sinks––like a his and a her sink––below it. On the right stood the shower, directly opposite the mirror, and at the very end of the room, in its own little alcove, was the toilet. Weirdly, I thought that was pretty cool. It was built like a wet room, all tiles but the floor tiles were heated and that right there, was damn awesome.
I stripped myself down in front of the mirror, studying myself intently as I pulled my shirt over my head. I was trying to work out what was so great about me; so eye catching. I knew I wasn't the worst looking bloke on the planet or anything, but come on? My lips were chapped from the nervous biting habit I had, dark circles occupied the area beneath my eyes, making me look sleep-deprived and a bit scary, to be honest. And my hair, god my hair was just this mess of golden-brown that stuck in every which direction.
With a sigh, a shrug and quick shake of my head to get rid of my hateful thoughts, I pulled off my pants and stepped into the shower, sliding the door shut behind me. For once, I knew I didn't have to worry about being interrupted by one of the lads needing a piss, but I still expected it. It was like how I knew I wouldn't hear them shouting in the background, fighting about something that, probably, was nothing, and I found myself feeling a bit lost without it.
I guess I'd learnt to live without peace and quiet and time to myself. When you couldn't have it, you wanted; when you had it, you didn't. Or maybe that was just me. I wasn't a big lover of having time to yourself, because when you had time to yourself you ended up thinking, and thinking was never something I enjoyed doing much of. My thoughts tended to drift to things I'd rather not think about.
Like Logan; my feelings; the past. All three of them linked up together in some way or another. Every time I thought of Logan, the other two would follow closely behind, lingering in the near-front of my mind, ready to jump on me at any given moment and vice-versa. If one was brought up in my head, the others weren't far behind in its footsteps. My brain was beginning to hurt from all the thinking I'd been doing lately.
I quickly washed myself, freshened up with some shampoo, shower gel and opened the new pack of toothbrushes Nate had left out for me. Once done, I hopped out the shower––nearly slipping on my ass from not expecting tiles instead of carpet––and wrapped a dark brown towel around my waist, heading out the door into the bedroom.
Nate was lounging on the bed, messing around on his mobile and chewing the inside of his cheek. He gave me a brief smile in acknowledgement, which I returned a little awkwardly. “What do you want me to do with the clothes in there?” I pointed towards my discarded clothing, strewn across the bathroom floor.
“Oh, just leave it, I'll deal with them,” he smiled.
“Okay, thank you,” I mumbled once again. The words weren't usually a common occurrence on my tongue. It was strange having to say it so much, lately.
“Not a problem,” he said distantly, his attention on whatever he was doing on his phone. He flung his legs over the edge of the bed, tossing his mobile next to the pillow before approaching me. His arms moved to wrap around my waist, palms against the small of my back.
Without saying a single word, he leaned in to brush a soft kiss at the corner of my lips, sneakily slipping the towel from my hips and walking straight into the bathroom, leaving me standing in the room alone. Naked. And cold. Then my thoughts fell back to Logan and I had to wonder, was I becoming obsessed? Christ.
A/N: (22.2.15) This story has been edited up to this point, so there may be a change in writing style etc. in the rest of the chapters or slight inconsistencies. I apologise if there is! I'm editing as fast as I can!